I just called .........
(I just called).....to say I .......
Can't find my.....
rhinestone earrings and..........
That I took
to pawn off...........
For crack money ...
so that I......
could buy cheap
entertainment for the.........
folks at the......
local funny farm........
Which is where.......
I stopped by
to see if...........
you jumped off.....
without your parachute........
into a very.....
drity puddle that...........
Quote from: Fred on October 07, 2012, 01:37:43 AM
drity puddle that...........
looks like a ..........
melted chocolate except........
it smelled like....
used GM oil.......
that had leaked .......
down my back.....
door and landed........
on Bill's Charger.....
that was parked.......
by the Chevy...
at the levy......
that Billdo loves
Where monkeys play
and three funky
Family truckster with ......
reading "Only You...
OK guys, it's that time in the game for
UNNECESSARY PICTURE TIME!
ok, back to the game.................
can prevent forest
Rangers from asking
Where were you
the bloody tissue
one of the
conspirators of the
legs and boobs
.... and my dog ....
(http://imageshack.us/a/img96/2849/dogz.jpg) (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/96/dogz.jpg/)
[
caused by the
posting over 1000
posts because he
the negative publicity.
of not posting
a pic of...........
Skip in his
tricycle doing wheelies...........
Quote from: Fred on October 07, 2012, 04:09:53 PM
tricycle doing wheelies...........
In front of .....
the initiation club............
Quote from: Fred on October 07, 2012, 04:13:17 PM
the initiation club............
and news reporters
at the beach :coolgleamA:
wearing only a .....
a snow blizzard............
while balancing their.........
a tight rope........
which stretched from...........
your house to...
the moon and.....
driving a charger
on two wheels..........
polar bear who's.........
and scratching his.........
chevy pick up
A giant skidmark.........
hole in one.........
of the biggest...
or the smallest.......
coconuts i have
ever seen attached
to a kangaroo...........
with long toenails
giving good traction.........
so the rustang
convertible blowing by........................
the rice car
to catch scorpions..........
in pink shorts
and flip flops.......
on winter nights
By all accounts.
had hard nipples
his neighbors screamed
get the water
for the burnouts :drive:
that smoke dope
requested last week
Three days off.
after a vacation
on a boat
sunk it did
but who knew
they saw bubbles
but from whom
came from below
deep underneath the
cave of spongebob...........
s' inner mind above
there in the
my irish stew......
way to the..........
beach where i
got badly burnt!..........
on my big
umbrella holding hand
and looking at
those damn ducks
laughing at a
silly looking cat........
playing with a
skunk that had
on the trunk
of the elephant
scared by a
mouse dressed up
as Nancy Pelosi
While Monica Lewinsky
played by a
chipmunk in blue
tights and a
white smurf hat
that came from
THE TOILET SEAT
of gargamels house
that was brown
with gingerbread men........
dancing around a
bemused skip who's....
lost his way..........
in a tunnel
with no light
at the end
of his finger
licking good time
at Kentucky fried
taco bells rang.....
through the night
keeping us awake
with the beat........
of a steel
ding - a - ling
banging on a
brass monkey doorknocker.........
as big as
a new york
not old one
two three for
lost are way
beyond a hands'
slap of your
pastrami rye sandwich..........
three weeks old :eek2:
with mustard gone..........
through the cracks
and turning green..........
with envy because
the wasabi is.......
getting more attention
and shirley temple........
is upset about
her trousers being...........
too loose around
skip's tiny little............
itsy bitsy teenie
wheenie pink tutu......
worn by his
best new friend..........
from down under
with a jumbuck..........
and a snow........................
man made of.........
the billy's boiling......
brew in the
billabong beside the...........
red flowering gums...........
and the crocodiles'
eating bush tucker.........
in the sun
with the didgeridoo..........
and a bunch
of kookaburra's looking.......
at me sleeping
with witchetty grubs.........
on the barbie.............
served with tea
and pinwheel sandwiches.......
by a beautiful
koala dressed in...........
a grass skirt
ruby red slippers
that obooma wears
at fund raisers
at the U.N.
on down low
back door deals
and beer summits
licking his lips..........
has a mint
stuck between his
lip and Bills
wifes' lips slowly
puking up dinner
this mornings breakfast
pigs in blanket
with overeasy eggs
remembers hilerys face
before the operation
being exceptionally beautiful........
burning tax dollars
on a bunsenburner...
and the Constitution
to get excited
like a kid...........
in a candy
munching chip monk.........
sucking stick candy
with no nutz
in his pouch.......
or in storage
with the millions
of stars above..........
the funny farms
field of sheep
looking very tempting.........
behind the mask
in long grass........
skip is wearing
the same skirt
as his mother........
iam outta here
with some sheep
behind the mask
no virgin wool
to knit a.........
fred a skirt
with a black
pair of socks.......
bra panty set
with ear warmers..........
with floppy hat
an blind fold
with a cigarette.....
for the person
tied to a........
bed in the
shed at skip's........
brothers' vacation home
with the sheep
in the backyard..........
that has monkeys
was raided today
what was that?
by the feds
who said that?
I did not
know monkeys , sheep
would do that
to a duck......
wheres jim,skip
and vibrating couch........
baby ducks everywhere
that your girlfriend
can sheer wool
under the moonlight.........
till the cows.........
for couch covers
in blue velvet.........
feds let skip
dance all night
doe ray me..........
with woolly ducks
that climb trees
upside down and
afraid what stroker
is cooking up
for supper tonight
monkey duckin turkey
baked golden brown
served with dressing
and brussels sprouts........
smothered in cheese
and dripping onto........
a swimming pool
with gold fish.......
and white sharks
wearing polkadot bikinis........
from a previous
life which included......
lots of booze
and getting low........
and slow on
the ladder before.......
falling off of
the earth's surface......
into a volcano
a bottomless pit...........
5 ft deep
made of rubber.........
bands and velcro
and held together........
with elbow grease
and fourandtwenty blackbirds........
got drunk on
the sight of.......
a nude female
with goose feathers..........
on a boa
that swollowed a.....
feather boa while
while chasing emu's.......
in Africas' desert
smells like tuna
fish sandwich with
with bad mayo
when passing gas
then pass go.
straight to jail.....
memories of x'es
last dessert drive
on the B&O
BONES OBSERVATION RAILWAY?
is where the...
passengers can actually
throw body parts
in grand canyon.
the observation car
has been observing
the physical attraction
of skip to
dance along the
the floor with
duck, monkeys, & cats
and the brothers.........
Jake and Elwood.
and the band..........
going on a
trip to Joliet......
illinois, home of
shitty sports teams...
(sorry, couldn't help myself)
down on their....
knees begging for
Nascar to return
to the icerink......
of dirt track
speed and skill
used to outrun
the police !! with ....
General Lee and
stop the insanity :smilielol:
of this thread
before we all........
spot the cat
in time for.......
skips' rescue from
THE BOOBEE HATCH
with the latch.........
and the shaved
vote for $troker http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,95907.msg1101406.html#msg1101406
:smilielol: :smilielol:
[quote
vote for Fred http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,95907.msg1101406.html#msg1101406
[/quote]
peanut butter cookies
dipped in Bourbon........
because I can't
drive fifty five
miles up the.........
bush valley expressway
till you come........
with a shaved.......................................
vote stroker 400 http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,95907.msg1101406.html#msg1101406 :2thumbs:
Quote from: stroker400 wedge on October 18, 2012, 01:51:59 AM
with a shaved.......................................
vote Fred http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,95907.msg1101406.html#msg1101406 :2thumbs:
sheep on a........
very tall cliff
vote Stroker http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,95907.msg1101406.html#msg1101406 :patriot:
with hanging baskets.........
overlooking the city
sparkling in moonlight........
like diamonds on
Elizabeth Taylors tiara.......
on the stage
Romeo and Juliet........
get down get
[ stroker that video is just wrong ]
dirty, and have
What's wrong with JS? I haven't found any good signature gif's yet that are mopar related.
SECRET GARDEN ADVENTURE
and crabs latter
with smokkin Daisy
Duke dancing vids
in my pants
with the ants
on the move..........
starting to groove
needing to prove........
who was wrong
about the shark..........
that ate daisy
sour cream and
cherry sausages grilled..........
with onions and
large witchetty grubs.........
breast ,thighs n legs
and eyeballs stuffed.........
with cream cheese
stroker [when i see js i think of her plus size pictures ] :shruggy:
sitting on a ........
log in the
Sometimes it's best to live in the past :2thumbs: Just come back to present everyonce in a while for a reality check.
forest ! with a .....
three legged frog
whos outta meds
and needs mouth
wash and rince
to find penguins
(http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/2/jessica_alba_panties_gif.gif) (http://www.threadbombing.com/details.php?image_id=5727)
on her scanty
dressed bony knees
Who looked at....
my big shoes...
and threw up
her hands with.....
excitement, screaming....oh
sweet misery at........
last I've found..........
my true love
sitting in a..........
rusted out camero
both feet on
the ceiling light....
in the car
which is hot....
to the touch........
of bear skin
soaking up sun..........
shine on my
shoulders makes me.......
ask for sunscreen
to be rubbed......
on her bare
back horse ridden......
Isuzu pickup with
missing four wheels.......
and four cylinders
but has plenty......
of rust and
needs to be........
stuck on a
operating table with....
a pina colada
and packet of......
grilled cheese crackers
dipped in wasabi......
washed down with
a gallon of.......
molasses followed by
lucern hay with........
Three blind mice.... :nana:
were shooting dice
shooting snake eyes
on the rocks.....
with both hands
kissed by a
blue nun who
is half smurf
and can surf.......
tsunamis but not
the net (WWW.) according.......
to Doyle or
the three monkeys.......
wearing shirts saying
Groucho Harpo Chico.......
No habla` ingle`s
singing Hava Nagila.........
while drinking tequila
with Gringos from........
a Minnesota company
pretending to be.....
from Costa Rico
where life is......
ruined by smugglers
dancing like cossacks....
in straw hats
an coconut bra's
and grass skirts
with bells on....
their ankles and
several furry pussy
willows by the..........
light of the
witch burning fire
pale blue moon
in the cloudless
sky ,witches gather
steeling mens souls
till they cry
in the night......
"help me please"
kill the witches
burn baby burn
at the beach.......
where sea monsters
attack Japanese fisherman
and anyone swimming.......
vanishes without a
their swimming costume......
getting wet before
catching crabs with.....
their bare feet
kicking up sand......
running away from
the little nippers.......
with their clippers......
next to their
bucket and spade....
waiting to see
how many fish......
commit suicide seeing
little naked fishermans.
dangling their worms.........
dealing with crabs
and scratching madly.....
from reading this
22 page saga.....
mind nummimg saga
created by crazy
post'' whores,''seeking
attention and fame//? :coolgleamA:
a refuge from
meds and reallity
in dark world
of crazy people
seeking ,sliver of
human love,contact
acceptance and forgiveness.
for lives takken,
by the thirst
long winter bites
i mean nites
the thirst builds
i fight myself
and the demons.
will i strike again or sleep WITH THE FISHES?
DAMN cheated myself
of 7 more post
dagnabit 8-9 post
must strike now
thirist is strong.---11
BLOOD BANK CLOSED
MISSION TILL SUNRISE
HERE KITTY---- KITTY
DAMN FURRY PUSSY
Sombody needs help :pity: :pity: :pity: :smilie_help:
DAMN DJ, the only reason I started this thread was to keep Stroker400 and Fred busy. Watching those two is like watching a dog chase its tail. Round and round and round they go, will they stop? Hell NO!
:smilielol:
Quote from: skip68 on October 24, 2012, 08:20:00 AM
DAMN DJ, the only reason I started this thread was to keep Stroker400 and Fred busy. Watching those two is like watching a dog chase its tail. Round and round and round they go, will they stop? Hell NO!
:smilielol:
It's your Fault!!!!!
sunrise ,must sleep..
trying to belong
to be human?
hey skip ,those 2 looked like they would drage on another 20 pages so i was trying to add depth and meaning. besides with aids and all i buy all blood and have it tested first.it gets oh, old finding places to hide bodies nowdays. who has the time with so much to keep up with here.
think skip started this to keep you know who'''s from the VOTE FOR,THEREAD??????? To protect his vote lead,,,beside fred and stroke only act like they have aadd or ahd,,oh what the hell ,,what ,,where am i..ohh the sunrise,bye,,slam the lid kwik ,,,iam burnning slam the damn lid bitch,get you snacks latter,,now the casket is full of smoke ,how can i sleep--------now , count DJ---drak JR>signing off..hah hah howl
best car coffin,
67 caddy herast
roomy nice ride
cops block traffic.
In a moment.....................................
I give up
three dollars and
a big mac
with special sauce
covering the fries
with lots of
chili and cheese
taco which smells
like catfish bait
perfume for young
Freds that populate
Freda fun park
every Saturday afternoon
where fred looks
at every woman
on log ride
best tuna sandwich
in 3 states
of confusion causing
BACKWARD COWBOY RODEO
riders tailbone injurys
riding under bulls
and scared by
PERVERT RODEO CLOWNS
doing jiggly wiggly
caught milking bulls
with strawberry milk
shake rattle and
heck breaks loose
when her top
falls off ,spring
into full solute
has sprung and
F*-" you guys
need a new
three word game
so fred can
start all over
yes, maybe............ NO!
Fred's wife said
after Fred spent
all the money
on brand new
blue pills for
chicks with chargers????
monkeys,ducks n skip
rope with stroker
ace played by
the green goblin
well looky here
said organ grinder
stroker to skippy
the wonder child
born in a
blue bubble of
petroleum jelly and
extra sticky snot
surrounded by a
green layer of
peppermint leaves and
gum nut babies
all stirred together
and baked in
a dutch oven
and thrown in
a pit with
a two headed
red headed tattooed
fire breathing monster
that guards the
entrance to the
waffle house by
the edge of
the great big
dividing range down
around the little
river bed by
the dried up
piece of crap
next to the
old black stump
on the side
of the road
going to the
state center for
pie and chips
with beer and
a good mate
with soft hands
Waiting to be
asked for a
Late night dance
so that she
does the macarana
dressed in feathers
with tail tassles
and pussycat ears
on her boobs
that have fallen
around her knees
along with her
great big pink
frilly silk nickers
that would fit
a hippo that
was an anorexic
who looked like
A fattened armadillo
in a pink
condom. Never before...
have i seen....
such a beautiful
pile of steaming
hot oatmeal with
apples and Cinnamon
buns on top
spread with lots
honey and cream
in a bath
tub next to
a large window
visible only by
someone with good
cat like reflexes
and toes of
a koala bear
up the back
of a wooly
mammoth from the
rhino eating your
peanut butter sandwitch
and drinking my
sweet red wine
which I was
giving away to
my very best
pet frog named
Fredo and he
jumped under a
lily pad belonging
to a lady
with a sword
stuck up her
petite and firm
red racing tadpole
swimming around the
gold fish bowl
at 30 notts
while weighing anchor
to ship home
Against the wind
i was running..
to fast to,
see your nice
HEMI DODGE CHARGER
sitting gracefully next
TO A BLONDE :yesnod:
In her underwear
on the toilet
Playing with toys
including a small
Very sharp razor
for triming her
Barbie doll toys
After she finished
Yelling at Ken
while he was
watching her friend..
Hoping to disappear
to a far
Island in Hawaii
surrounded by beautiful
Palm trees swaying
and coconut drinks
with hula girls
gracefully dancing to
Tarzan's jungle drums
while cheeta hangs
and the harmonious
ringing of bells
in the old
cathedral over by
the girls school
in front of
The Dodge dealer
With the chargers
With four doors. :rotz:
and a whistle
when he breathed
with liquor breath
and blurry eyes
gazed upon the
genuine vinyl seats
of a rare
vibrating couch belonging
to skip's altered
cave in which
no one escapes
unless you're a
little grey thingy
that slipped on
or under the
deck of the
Spanish galleon sailing
off the coast
of an island
in the middle
of a storm
that blew and
out of nowhere
and back where
it came from
a pirate came
all over the
face of the
girl from the
local pub, down
the dark alley
at the end
of a long
long black road
winding through the
swamp of doom
in a hovercraft
I could see,
Godzilla lumbering ahead
acting like a,
Gigantic, angry lizard
hell bent on,
beating up ultraman
like a rag
in a washing
bucket full of
chips and dip
washed down with
a frosty cold
Geny Cream Ale
flavored sno cones
Topped with bananas
and strawberry jam
Underneath purple skies
while skipping through
from the local
a and p
grocery down by
that old smelly
sock of mine
that i left
under my pillow
to wear again,
next week if
my g string
is being washed
and my tutu
doesn't keep me
warm at all
hence the woolly
jumper up my
very short kilt
that i wear
when dancing like
a banshee in
the middle of
stone henge when
the summer solstice
screwed up my
big weekend BBQ
when no friends
ate all my
favourite jelly beans
that i'd hid
behind that crazy,
big elephant statue
that everyone always,
Wants to see
when they visit,
the blue church
over by the
Spooky old graveyard
where Frankenstein's body
Could possibly be
looking for his
Long lost bride
who ran off
with the milkman
when she realised
I knew this was coming. :lol:
she was married
to Dick Tracey
:smilielol: with a mask
to hide his
extra nose that
was attached to
his forehead with
yellow "duck" tape
over the staples
in his forhead
thats not even,
matching his wifes
monobrow on her
bad ass looking,
bikini line when
they tanned her
ass with a
paint ball gun
when she had
her panties down
around her ankles
:hah: She couldnt walk
or run very
without the help
of her green
69 HEMI CHARGER
that would only
jump start if
you put your
hand on the,
funny gray thingy
right next to,
her left knee
which is very,
Knobby and cold
and should be,
next to her
who looks like
death warmed over
from the night
of the living
room floor lickers
and door kickers
and cherry pickers
climbing trees and
swinging from their
solid gold teeth
that they won
in a raffle
at the rsl
dinner dance held
by Hugh Hefner
and his associates
dress appropriately in
thongs and stubbies :icon_smile_big:
gracefully walking by
eating hot prawn
and drinking margaritas
before a quick
dip in the
yogurt hot tub
with strawberries and
cream g string
laying at the
foot of the
winding stair case
in the basement
Of a mansion
in the dungeon......
in a canyon
Just minutes from
the local public
police station because
the grey thingy
kidnapped Skip and
and fred and
hid them in
another brand of
German sports car
with sauerkraut and
a Polish sausage
stuffed up their
sleeping bags. Afterwards,
back at band
camp, everyone else
were engaged in
a big game
of pickle hiding
in the back
seat of a
faded blue VW
Shooting the moon
shine down like
a ribbon of
crystal clear liquid
down his leg :nana:
and into his
red ball keds
and leg stalkings
with a ladder
leaning up against
the back wall
of pentridge prison
in the dark
by the seaside
in the simson
trial jury room
I have got to get an aussie dictionary
with built in
simpson desert
martini glass jacuzzi
filled with champagne
now I need an atlas
and coco pops
in the bed
of a ute
sitting outside of
the opera house
at bennelong point
just south of
the harbour bridge
thats near the
circular quay terminal
That has been
demolished by large
rampant feral wombats
that were pregnant
and all hormonally
ready to be
jumped on by
a yeti with
certain strange cravings
That include eating
with hot sauce
the left nut
from my sack
I screamed in
shear delight because
the right one
was being massaged
by a raccoon
with both hands
and a tail
so long that
it drags behind
even when being
tickled under the
nose of a
really, really big
extra hairy green
polka dot bikini
being worn by
the three amigos
from Pasadena, meanwhile
at the beach
the sand was
washing away by
the bucket full
as palm trees
swayed in the
romantically gentle breezes
where two gals
danced and played
with sea shells
covering both their
great big humongus
soft and fluffy
very playful puppies
licking up the
juice from a
spilled coconut bra
while their grass
gets swiped by
3 teenage punks
on a unicycle
being pulled by
a very small
but very strong
Tasmanian racing shrew
that just received
notice of violation
from the local
barney and gomer
who were a
holes on a
mission to get
their log book
stamped and thrown
in the big
ready to be
folded twice and
burned in the
hearth next to
an old photograph
of a man
With whom she
couldn't get on
because he kept
backing away from
the front of
the public toilet
out the back
of woop woop
east of dunedoo
that's just west
of the black
strapp molasses factory
wondered, where is
the key for
the huge lock
on her new
Bulbous hope chest
where she keeps
very interesting things
about her lost
small pink thingy
that fits right
where it should
not ever be
but may go......
with some persuading
in a small
with some lube
and new batteries
so it runs
as fast as
a racing tadpole
with a hemi
shoved up its
black dodge charger
barreling down the
two lane blacktop
with his favorite
doll beside him
reading the map
from his backpack
while putting on
a pink sweater
made in China
so it was
a cheap knockoff
that didn't cover
up his tattoo
of a big
bright pink unicorn
with a purple
mane and a
star laced tail
in the middle
of his derriere
which had a
big pimple on
the tip of
his captain winkie
to scare off
any blood sucking
politician selling his
jar of vaseline
for a prelube
for Monica Lewinsky
great big cigar
smuggled from Cuba
by jaun valdez
thanks to his
hollow inside leg
carved in mahogany
by a small
friendly gnome with
many carving tools
of all sizes
made in Japan
by geisha's who
are wrapped tighter
than a burrito
being forced through....
a greasy funnel
by a gorilla
with an IQ
greater than a
three legged dinosaur
who came top
in his class
in advanced origami
using the ability
to make cranes
that can fly
when you pull
on the small
rubber grey thingy
that Skip keeps
in the drawer
beside his socks
beneath the briefs
and rubber bands
that are for
his musical instrument
that he keeps
hidden from his
darling voluptuous wife
aint I a brown nose :nana:
Sharon. Meanwhile, some.....
where over the
pub having a
schooner or two
Then we will
go back and
finish the job
that we started
to do when
the giant rat
that ate chicago
deep dish pizza
with extra pepperoni
and cheese that
was very hot
but, very satisfying
in a weird
normal way. Afterwards,
in a weird
abnormal way, there
were three of
of there buddies
larry, moe , curly
that ended up
slapin each other
in the face
because they love
that touchy feeling
rather than the
kick in the
small, very sensitive
hind end and
protecting that sensitive
spot on the
under side of
the left side
up close to
that lump on
the ground left
for better times
when the war
was fought with
pink fluffy feathers
wearing a tutu
knee deep in
big globs of
that smelly green
gooey butter cream
that was bought
at Wendy's yesterday
with a frosty
mixture that tasted
for 7 days (ha ha i miss read that and thought it said lasted not tasted, oh well, on with the game.)
in the sunshine
of my life
long dream of
meeting Hugh Hefner
at his mansion
with the bunny's
in the jacuzzi
thats full of
milk and honey
that is so
rich in vitamins
it makes your
hair, soft and
fluffy like a
baby fluff with
extra super duper
hair holding gel
That ended up
standing straight up
like the crown
jewels of the
highland warrior Wallace
new tilted kilt
on inside out
to protect the
family jewels from
the wrath of
bull riding mongo
who's king of
the railway camp
of dancing hobos
that come out
just as the
sun began to
shine brightly at
the end of
the rainbow and
they all joined
the rainbow parade
heading off towards
the grand canyon
on mules that
wouldn't move because
they're feeling constipated
from eating too
many sugar lumps
instead of gum
drops laced with
eucalyptus and turpentine
to keep them
pert and chipper
Since then, they've
laid down their
ears to bray
and now they
can't get up
to the top
of Mount Kilimanjaro
to ski down
without their snowpicks
that I used
in the garage
to scatch myself
In attempt to
relieve myself of
that abnormal rash
growing between my
left foot's toenail
and my right
side tires leaking
side tryes leaking :nana:
all of the
necessary air to
inflate skip's doll
into a full
on giant grey
flexible rubber thingy
that he used
with great enthusiasm
upon himself to
be able to
do an amazing
while standing on
one left hand
with the other
hand touching the
steering wheel and
whistling Dixie while
driving to the
hardrock café for
burgers with his
fries and soda
For late night
shenanigans under the
moonlight from his
leadlight torch with
noisey bug zapper
that's also killing
all of the
peace and quiet
by being really
stealthy and wise
and somewhat noisy
while they were
polishing their boots
so they'd be
pretty and willing
to march to
the awesome place
where everyone would
rather be out
in the great
outdoors camping and
toasting their marshmallows
over a hot
Bed of coals
while doing the
Texas two step
and balancing a
cup of tea
with one hand
while the other
thumb's up their
nose while they
Open a beer
with their toes
and scream into
the darkness before
downing the lot
of dirty skunks
in the sock
that smells like
a freshly cut
boutique of roses
stolen from the
secret garden that
is hidden behind
the closet door
with combination lock
provided by k-mart
Made in China
just for you
during the awesome
year of the
tiger and monkey
that was just
to much to
bear, so she
shuffled off to
the local strip
club for a
bite to eat
and drink some
cream of mushroom
soup with a
small shot of
jack in a
glass of coke
hamburger hamburger hamburger
cheese onions pickles
hold the sauce
sesame seed bun
this is fun
way of entertaining
people all around
the round table
wearing chain mail
and full metal
helmets, to better
butt heads with
while yelling at
king Arthur because
Guinevere was wearing
pauper's rags instead
of a proper
spun gold gown
to match her
spun gold tricon
bicycle that she
Peddled to market
to pick up
Beets for her
home made stew
of rabbit and
chipmunks opossum and
Turnips, horseradish and
a big cabbage
with ears and
big juicy worms
for the guests
to nibble on
while waiting for
the strippers to
peel the bananas
for the pudding
with vanilla waffers
and whipped cream
with a cherry
in the center
Since the strippers
were about to
play their instruments
while waiting for
the court jester
and the three
wise men to
to pull out
their great big
Bag of skittles
that spilled all
Over the new
carpet when they
were playing twister :D
while getting tangle
in each others
long shaggy hair
like rock stars
out of control
And loving it
but needing to
keep it clean
because if not
Cooties will come
and wreak havoc
amongst us all
And then scurvy
set in, causing
Expensive dental work
grills for everyone
who did not
want to do
their chores yesterday
should be sent
to bed without
seeing their favorite
midnight movie and
eating all the
orange jaffers rolling
in chocolate pudding
that had spilled
onto the shag
carpet with orange
circles and purple
pokka dots that
hurt the eyes
and the backside
of the animal
from the way
it's rubbing against
rear of the
toilet block in
the local pub
out back of
the black stump
in the Kimberleys
where the world
of Disney cars :lol:
race through a
gauntlet of golden
haired lovelies with
flowers draped around
each of their
long braided flocks
of grumpy geese
that were flying
west for the
one time showing
of swan lake
in full color
staring one ugly
blue assed baboon
in the eyes
for a bit
of harmless flirtation
and maybe some
cuddles when the
swan spreads his
vegemite on toast
for a delicious
late day snack
to be eaten
with a cuppa
joe with cream
from a yak
and scones dipped
in toe jam
Afterwards, the swan
swam over the
Crystalline waters to
the murky bit
beside the old
timber mill near
the fallen trees
down by the
old beaver dam
in the middle
of the bayou
shaded by the
giant cypress tree
with the rope
swing where Bobby
Fell off and
split open his
left toe on
a gator tooth
while attempting to
linedance his way
across the swamp
skipping over alligators
Snouts, tails and
piranhas, all while
smoking a spliff
and leaning to
Eric for assistance
because he only
had the right
side of his
mind in the
gutter where it
was left by
the green monster
from under the
boardwalk near the
old boat rental
joint that doesn't
sell beer or
have any boats
that float safely
in rough seas
because of holes
in their heads
of the monkeys
inflatable plastic paddles
so they could
find the lost
grey rubber thingy
that I lost
when you allowed
skip to take
it from the
inside of your
secret hiding place
that only you
forgot where it
was so you
asked for help
from that guy
I met briefly
in my briefs
catching the bus
Headed for the
The Grand Tetons
but ended up
at Bondi Beach
where the bums
and flower people
held wild parties
while cutting their
their own weed
and tying it
to pad their
to the backs
of their fronts
they left back
behind the side
of the love
machine parked near
Look out Point
with a flat
tyre to spare
some change for
a couple of
escorts to chill
down some nice
buds of mine
in a tub
of lard and
fresh mineral spirits
for sore nuts
and peeled bananas
for booby traps
set to explode
at the first
poke of a
twelve inch stick
of pink bubblegum
chewed up real
good and gooey
with spittle and
other gooey bits
Of such matter
from not brushing
the hair on
the little blonde
bit at the
very end of
the thingy majiggy
that he kept
polished, and then
put away wet
as he liked
the feel of
feathers tickling his
bit under his
chin where his
cleft was revealed
to the world
before he managed
to cover it
with a big
red band aid
that he got
from the shop
that went out
of business yesterday
because of the
lack of demand
in that area
for grey rubber
material that they
made tires from
when there was
no michelin left
because Michelin man
ate too many
donuts instead of
carrot sticks and
celery stalks and
now hes nonconforming
to the right
of his left
hand side of
his special red
Pajama pants with
the Teflon seat
that slides away
for a clean
get away into
his large bed
where papa bear
and the monkey
played patty cake with
the little bear
and his friend
were counting sheep
jumping over the
rainbow with the
the cow that
ate new york
before Godzilla could
:slap:
skip a rock
over the ocean
and King Kong
gave his girlfriend
a big smooch
on her little
red rosy cheek
making her blush
and getting very
excited himself so
he started his
electric portable fan
and brought out
ancient ice box
full of ducksicles
melting faster than
last weeks pay
cheque over a
night in the
sauna with a
hot red head
woodpecker with a
very long yellow
soaking wet t-shirt
showing his huge
"W" on front
so everyone will
run away screaming
here comes the
ruby red crested
wobby headed duck
with the very
curly feathers that
mimic the little
wriggly grubs under
a rotten log
that chickens like
lay out their
underwear to dry
because of splashing
about in the
water puddle by
the side of
the outhouse that
was really old
with smelly liquid
dribbling in the
hot sun for
anyone to play
in providing they
put on wellies
and stay away
from Bondie cigars
in the shallows
because everyone knows
what comes around
the corner can
really mess you
up if you're
not ready to
fight them off
with a big
plastic yellow flower
held in a blue
cardboard box with
pink and purple
ribbons tied to
the stem. Meanwhile
at the ranch
all is not
as it seems
as Sara was
disguised as a
scantily clad nurse :drool5:
:cheers: she had a
Very conservative look ::)
according to Paris
Hiltons neighbors goat
which is very
aggressive and jumpy
and likes to
jump up on
anyone at anytime
Mostly during a
Prolonged rainy spell
lasting three months
causing toe jam
from the way
the water pooled
in his boot
and stewed his
sock to steam
his toes just
till their tender
and starting to
rot from lack
of dry socks
and proper heated
rubber gum boots
with good ventilation
for the toads
to lay their
bets down on
how many offspring
they would eat
in an hour
at lunch time
while waiting for
the noon bus
to arrive at
the corner of
5th and Adam
in time for
afternoon tea with
the queen and
her corgi's who
bit the ankles
of a horse
that was a
polo pony belonging
to the king
of the great
land to the
west of the
Appalachian mountain range
where their cousin
played dueling banjoes
and danced a
jig while carving
a chainsaw sculpture
into a bear
while it hibernated
but it awoke
in a temper
fit for a
wolverine with a
very saw paw
from stepping on
a bull ants
thumb tack that
stuck in all
its pockets from
where it was
placed in by
an unhappy hippo
running rampage to
the water park
to fill his
pockets with marbles
which you lost
under the lounge
that day while
looking for dustbunnies
to play with
cause their all
very fluffy and
feel nice when
freshly washed with
#4 bumper grease
to make it
through the night
without a toilet
to flush away
last nights waste
in order to
move the problem
onto someone else
to take care
of the debate
between the two
and the other
Angry sumo lesbians
on the mat
about to eat
rice. Wayne Newton....
thought the carpet
sang Danke Schoen
wtf singing carpet
with Wayne Newton
instead of linoleum....
which is cold
-er than witch's....
pointy bits in
spread eagled across
the black alter
with flagstone floors
and glass walls
to let light
illuminate the dark
otherwise spooky crevices
that hide hairy
yellow banded thingies
with giant fangs
that drip deadly
purple drops of
grape juice from
the vineyards below
the gates of
the little cottage
at the end
of the day
light, where all
the vampires awaken
and do the
transilvania fang dance
that really is
nothing more than
a very large
gathering of your
impressively massive big
girls doing the
perfectly synchronized routine
that they do
in skimpy tutus
forgot :eek2:
a slight fit
better than thongs
that were so
sheer you saw
through their own
minute, miniscule material
frayed around the
very edge of
the teeny weeny
yellow polka dot
bikini with the
very, very tight
thong and the
big yellow hat
that covered nothing
and made everyone
turn away in
fits of laughter
and blushed like
a school girl
at her first
shoe polishing competition
held in the
great out doors
far down under
the bridge to
beyond the black
planet, left of
the Milky Way
and strait till
you hit the
mudy bit down
wisteria lane by
the street lamp
where the dog
always takes a
newspaper to chew
before delivering it
to a location
of unknown origin
taking a dump
on the door
step of the
mayor of the
little town called
stiff pecker point
in the wild
mountainous range of
the sierra nevadas
where cowboys used
beans for heat
at broke back
mountain where camels
are going to
party all night
till the beer
dries up and
people pass out
Amongst the pines
with cones that
blocked traffic from
the mighty cedar
carving of a
cedar tree with
the bark of
a crazy dog
with a red
cape hiding his
big black spot
because it oozes
from him biting
the fleas from
the passing circus
with the miniature
carousel that amuses
the tiny fleas
and helps them
work out fully
how to use
their peddle powered
distillery out back
of the laundry
belonging to Chinese
checkers champion wonald
Macwonald of the
far far away
planet called opiden
in the galaxy
in the milky
way, far from
the maddening crowd
of onlookers who
are always in
the middle of
the circus ring
surrounded by fire
throwing jet planes
that were dive
bombers until the
wings fell off
the pilots' jackets
are genuine leather
with little pink
button holes to
push green buttons
jelly beans through
the slot of
the front door
postage hole making
that was answered
in turn by
the big bad
wolf huffing and
puffing so he
could eat up
all his cereal
left by the
three bears and
little red riding
because they prefer
mermaids and princesses
to read them
bed time stories :D
about miniature horses
with purple tails
and a big
top hat with
a feather in
their pointed ears
and buck teeth
with braces on
their wheelie bars
and banana seats
that sparkled with
glitter covered streamers
wrapped around a
in the trees
with the monkeys
driving in their
own Dodge Chargers
that they stole
from the impound
and heading for
the border near
the edge of
the river next
to the winding
road by the
Eureka stockade where
the BBQ's are
lined up for
our car show
located in the
the middle of
the night where
the coyotes howl
while brushing their
hair into a
pony tail with
a wire brush
and steel wool
tucked in their
ears to keep
the ants out
of the honey
coated biscuits that
baked fresh today
just for you
and your favorite
topping is included
if you choose
the cherry whip
with the chocolate
sprinkle and toffee
you will be
amazed at how
quickly it goes
into cardiac arrest
and must be
pumped out immediately
or else it'll
explode with great
velocity and a
extra loud bang
that will wake
all sleeping dogs
and Babies' from
their heavenly dreams
to the horror
of the sound
of wailing tots
slapping each other
silly so that
they fall down
giggling and start
rolling down hill
till they launch
the paddle steamer
into the air
with helium balloons
under their arms
in case they
fall overboard during
happy hour and
won't be home
till after midnight
therefor missing tea
and crumpets hour
and television watching
so they'd miss
all the silly
shows they really
dance to and
watch the bachelor
give his rose
to the most
ugly attendee with
a reptilian tongue
with which she
licked the backside
of her eyelid
while applying mascarra
to her pithair
so the wax
on her legs
is smoothed evenly
by small hairy
spiders running about
in their neither
here nor there :icon_smile_big:
nor up or
nor down or
in or out
forwards or backwards
insides or out
the small hairy
buggers worked through
the night and
into the day
but still their
hairy little rumps
skidded along the
pavement every time
they would trip
over the wire
on the end
of a long
curly bit on
the narrow piece
of wire that
held their nose
hairs together at
the center of
their hairy forehead
which had bumps
from the goose
and the kiss
me quick please
that they got
had them grinning
from ear to
the north pole
and back because
it's too cold
on all their
reindeer that refuse
to take another
fly around the
north pole. Meanwhile
Santa and elves
are busy building
a swimming pool
so Mrs. Claus
can skinny dip
during the short
break in between
the swimming season
and making toys
for all the
LITTLE KIDS OF
the world who
have been so
lucky to find
no pic of
a little red
lip gloss for
the girl next
door to the
cemetery with the
tombstones pointing towards
that damp smelly
oversized pit for
the repeat offenders
with no escape
washing dishes forever
at the WalMart
fork and spoon
with the plates
from the prison
made of tin
from really big
hubcaps that didn't
fit very well
as a breastplate
for big amazons
with small, pink
feathers in their
ears with great
big rings of
onion in their
dipping pot of
hot sauce for
Mexican fry up
with corn and
some tequila to
liven things up
before skinny dipping
with the catfish
and water nymphs
in the billabong
bathing the swagman
and his sheep ;D
till they were
well and truly
squeaky clean and
their ears where
pointed on top
with a little
fold on the
end that held
their sparkling golden
thing that was
designed by the
awesome DC team
to rev up
to the highest
peaks at the
rim of the
end of the
world as we
understand it to
be but it
has fallen off
the real edge
of reality when
the small yellow
canary fell from
his lofty perch
landing on his
tiny yellow beak
putting a hole
in the wooden
box holding the
green spiky things
that fit their
unzipped pockets with
breadcrumbs in case
the birds were
leaving a trail
of slimy poop
for Hansel &
the three bears
all looking for
a drink cause
the whiskey ran
away with the
damsel in distress
looking for her
eatable panties while
checking the flavor
of what's in-between
the sweet spot
and the not
too distant part
that's not sweet
because someone forgot
the way home
because the breadcrumbs
was ate by
all the fairies
and the ogres
leaving nothing for
the three bears
and Goldilocks to
to really enjoy
the sights of
three bowls of
smarties and m&m's
and topped with
haggis and mash
With some jack
cheese and sausage
for desert with
Bruce Springsteen while
sugar plums danced
around the fringe
of a hulaskirt
flapping in the
hot Arabian desert
humidity that was
making everything droop
like a piece
of saltwater taffy
so they had
to try hard
to chew it
before it got
swallowed whole and
they all choked
and couldn't be
made to dance
for their supper
on the table
you'll see napkins
and good china
but under the
floor rug there's
a secret way
to escape into
A VERY SECRET
NEW AND IMPROVED
impossible to open
jar of mayonnaise
spreading it on
sliced pumpernickel toast
and with extra
grits for your
supper with the
evening news and
the guests from
down the street
asking for more
grits with butter
to strengthen their
jar opening knuckles
for a boxing
match with the
Vienna Boys Choir
and a kangaroo
that's hopping mad
about the proposed
ban on kicking
below the belt
which is just
unsportsmanlike behavior for
any respectful kangaroo
trying to make
an honest buck
selling billy tea
sweetened with honey
for a perfect
tea and scones
on the beach
with teddy bears
And bennie babies
holding gummy bears
by their short
fruit flavored ears
till all their
sticky centers melt
into a rainbow
of gooey colors
and an array
paper cranes suspended
from the bridge
like small dancing
ballerina's in tutus
made of gum
for blowing bubbles
from their buts
while singing Dixie
and marching to
the local pub
to get blotted
on scotch shots
and hop scotch
while playing elastics
on top of
a soap box
derby car that
is painted pink
with racing stripes
and bushy tail
bouncing off the
wall in turn
4 just before
landing in the
thick of it
among the thorns
big, sharp thorns
that penetrate deeply
very painfully deeply
all the way
to the core
meaning the bone
right in there
with piercing precision
in so deep
that it can't
get out again
and has to
go thru the
the washing machine
on the spin
and then the
horrible sharp pointy
bits fell away
to stick into
the butt cheeks
of a runaway
bride. once upon
a fairy tale
there lived three
wise men who
were really bears
that drank beer
and ate peanuts
before collecting berries
to stick up
their very large
CREEPY OLD ATTIC
with the creepy
spider webs covering
the light bulbs
with pull chains
that flush the
baby spiders down
onto their necks
causing a rash
on their face
and pointy ears
to sprout on
Petri dishes filled
with blue cheese
and black currents
with whipping cream
down their backs
being very sticky
but it felt
like honey and
they all wanted
To get it
into the fridge
before it melts
and runs down
the crack on
the edge of
the waste line
and into their
gum boots with
ass hair and
toe nail clippings
to set up
a bon fire
that cleaned out
the safe deposit
of belly button
lint, left over
from last Christmas
where it gathered
while picking gumnuts
for woodworking classes
at dodgy bros
last shopping spree
for the year
of the dragon
that spewed fire
at the Chinese
New Year festival
for senior agents
of the underground
railway that runs
South to north
and up hill
and down dale
before veering left
into the lake
and diving deep
deep under the
home of Poseidon
the god of
the ocean domain
and all things
living in the
dark, warm place
under the stairs
that's so snug
with red peering
eyes watching every
movement you make
while attempting to
nibble on toes
licking the jam
from between the
toenails and the
hairy knee cap
by the scars
to the left
of the hairy
Gorilla gang tattoos
on their wobbly
tight rope, teetering
just above the
horrible pointy sharp
shard of glass
waiting to impale
an eyebrow stud
that would go
up the nose
of the nearest
falling miniture pigmy
goat and his
extra small rider
On their way
goatracing with their
neighboring miniature horses
who have monkeys
riding side saddle
with paddles ready
to repel boarders
of red petunias
growing among the
poppycock filled hillside
of kingdom come
north of the
great divide near
the big blue
billabong filled with
swagmen and jumbucks
swaying in the
chilly winter wind
in thier little
blue budgie smugglers
adorned with pink
racing stripes down
the sides of
their great big
big cowboy boots
that they wear
while boot scooting
and boogeying with
the sheep in
drag, hiding from
the 3 blind
milk maids who
for new underwear
because theirs were
worn through at
stolen by Peter
Peter cotton eater
I thought he ate pumpkin?
and his pal
boo boo because
(I'm just making it up as I go) :icon_smile_big:
and I want to know where the panties were worn through and why.
yogi wasn't home
packing a picnic
blanket to take
to the maids
so they can
run to thier
hiding place and
pop the cork
for each other
in order to
have a good
old fashioned booze-up
till their noses
showed an alcholic
aroma and burning
nose hair smells
like arm pit
on a really
hot Carlisle day
of trolling for
needed parts for
the love of
all things mopar
has to offer
the true believers
living on Jupiter
and commuting to
the black hole
at the bottom
of the rusted
left front fender
I found a
small silver piece
of tooth filling
lying on the
dashboard of the
very heavily modified
three word game
that became too
short to say
Merry Christmas in
lower middle high
jump competition for
a kiss from
the Olympic commitee
head chairman named
Aristotle after his
secret 2ND cousin
that married her
brother's brother because
their brothers uncle
was married to
their cousins mother
whose love child
that was sisters
belonged in a
asylem with her
other three offspring
that are roaming
the jagged peaks
that protrude from
the neither regions
of the underworld
that exists on
the 9.15 express
to that evil
"under the sun"
the gold coast ;D
west of Burmuda
right near Miami
around the corner
over the bend
through the trees
under the fence
into my mancave
to sleep soundly
for an hour
before waking up
from a dream
of woods and
and trees and
sunny golden beaches
west of Bermuda
where Rumpelstiltskin lost
his trailing beard
spun of gold
and studded with
rubies and emeralds
intended for the
three blind mice
on their way
to the moon
and to infinity
never to be
seen or heard
again. meanwhile at
the ok corral
humpty dumpty was
upon a wall
ready to view
his splitting headache
once the shooting
and the poaching
gets under way
who's making toast
humpty cant cook
poached to perfection
on private land
toast and poached
for game wardens
with their big
egos and small
feet that they
glow in the
moonlight but smell
like really ripe
enough for eating
if you can
chew your food
without tasting it
once you get
down low enough
past the smell
that hangs at
nose level and
makes your eyes
shoot out blood
while your ears
burn like FIRE
after lightning struck
while nude bathing
WITHOUT your wife
to keep score
of how many
bubbles you blow
while waist deep
in pond muck
next to a
big wallowing hog
getting ready to
meet his end
after charging madly
into a crowd
then swinging around
a parked car
to double back
around the tree
over the river
and through the
quagmire for another
chance at living
the good life
after winning the
Million dollar lottery
all to himself
he died penniless
and in debt
due to his
boarish habits with
miniature racing goats
during which they
stop to eat
a cashmere rug
off the floor
of the jolly
green giants bathroom
floor and the
small grey thingy
that I lost
long long ago
and still haven't
quite gotten over
not finding again
but a new
one is being
made at this
laboratory in the
deep dark south
area of bayou
country where the
stagnant foul water
is needed to
wash the corrupt
thoughts from the
minds of the
bubbas goobers & gomers
so that we
can all live
by the seaside
free from inadequate
Mexican jumping beans
stewing in broth
made from leftover
shoe leather and
turnips, rutabagas and
old petroleum jelly
, a feast to
turn your stomach
brown and shinny
and inside out
to wear as
a camouflage during
extreme paintball exercises
and collision course
at the local
demolition derby track
next to Hooters
on Friday night
we're having piza
leftover from Monday
nights special offer
at the local :icon_smile_big:
farmer's market because
the fish market
had run out
virgins to sacrifice
so, they started
a new fad
of wearing poodle
skin hats on
Sunday at church
to keep the
bald patch slick
and shiny for
rub time later
with a buffer
and spit from
a saloon spittoon
left from 1892
so it was
ready for the
start of the
Olympic curling competitions
at last years
meeting at the
extra special place
beneath the sprawling
trees next to
the babbling brook
around the corner
from wally world
where the children
screamed with delight
to buy thier
snickers and m&m's
instead of waiting
for fuzzy purple
rubber thingy's to
burst, allowing soda
and rock candy
to combine, causing
a great big
headache for parents
who have to
pay dental insurance
on candy crunching
molars that are
rapidly waring away
to be replaced
with false teeth
that don't fit
because they are
made of marble
from china and
the size is
much to small
to fit those
big macho blokes
and their big
sombrero covered grins
:shruggy: and evil eyes
painted on their
tanned leather skin
with tattoos of
belly dancing girls
with buck teeth
and bug eyes
that glowed bright
in the night
by the twilight
and the firelight
of a flickering
street light in
the middle of
the long lonely
alley of NY
that led to
the basement of
the mayors house
where his wife
had secretly went
to makeout with
the neighbours cat
whose name was
tattooed on her
very ample ass
in blue letters
8 inches high
by two feet
that was exposed
every time she
removed her wig
wam sized skirt
at the end
of the day
dream turned into
a living horror
for the mayor
and the cat
at the neighbors
discovery of its
name scripted across
her extra large
wigwam covered tatooed
non tanned ass
exposed at the
shimmering moon light
and twinkling stars
with twirling tassells
lighting the way
to the big
bad block party
on Elm Street
with freddy and
kids next door
to the local
grumpy old men
who all drove
really cool MOPARS
up and down
the ice road
dodging truckers while
chewing bubble gum
and popping bubbles
to ease the
boredom while driving
to the corner
store to buy
a six pack
and a bag
of nacho cheese
which they promptly
devoured upon hearing
that twinkies were
half their size
and twice the
price of littledebbies
cupcakes and Hostess
products for the
faint of heart
or sugar deprived
and diabetics everywhere
NEEDED A FIX
of gooey goodness
that could only
induce hypoglycemia if
inhaled. Nigeria announced.....
we,re berrys birthplace
or at least
close to it
give or take
a couple millimeters
or a mickey
mouse pancake away
its nearest neighbour
to the south
had big luscious
red kissin lips
and very long
silky smooth tounge
for eyebrow maintenance
and earwax removal
and other parts
that we won't
touch on mondays
or mention on
alternating leap years
so they only
rolled Sundays with
the sermons of
fire and brimstone
from the sinister
Dr dark and
the Fantastic Four
who flew in
for a party
with the silver
surfer ringing silver
bells for everyone
alerting them of
hard nipples rotating
counter clockwise direction
and then clockwise
after happy hour
but before bedtime
for pleasant dreams
throughout the nighttime
while waking every
now and then
too go pee
and remember rotating
the bed pan
splashing violently on
the wooden floor
and rattling across
the bedside table
before ending up
in the corner
of the kitchen
to be scrubbed
by french maids
with frilly knickers
hanging below their
knock knees and
hairy calf muscles
from chasing cows
on the farm
up the hill
because Jack fell
face first in
the duck muk
while Jill fetched
something better than
any woman could
hope to have
hidden in her
bra between her
shoulders and above
her belly jewelry
was her third
nipple which scared
the heebee geebees
out of Jack
and his beanstalk
rising above the
twin peaks of
the lovely blonde
that's very distracting :drool5:
but, still gets
no dates because
of her old
man the ogre
carries a shotgun
and a machete
on his hip
to offset the
hairy wart on
his bulgeing tukis (pardon spelling)
rendering him helpless
and unable to
protect the blonde
while scratching his
arm pits and
smelling the fragrant
goo on his
finger and toenails
need cutting because
puss filled postules
in between his
toes and nasty
boils on his
roman like nose
so the poor
and very homeless
would take pity
for the blonde
bit on his
ear lobe and
licked on his
pink tingly bit
until it fell
off from all
of the attention
it hasn't been
getting because it
is so ugly
and the size
is completely wrong
to fit in
the shoe box
under the bed
where the dog
keeps his chew
toy so the
cat can play
with the ball
its spewed up
while backing around
the squawking cockatoo
chained to the
the pretty female
golden retriever pup
who wasn't impressed
with the cockatoo
poo in its
left ear and
shook it's head
and the cockatoo's
Chain came off
so he flew
out the window
and straight into
the waiting cat's
loving arms for
dinner after wrestling
with the champagne
cork which wouldn't
pop like a
shot in the
dark with no
beer to drink
with my pizza
pan style extra
cheese and anchovies
and plenty of
sea gulls circling
with the buzzards
up above to
swoop down for
some easy pickins
of cotton bails
and cotton candy
to rot your
floorboards out of
your tree house
but left the
:wave: :sleep:
seats in place
:2thumbs:
for comforts sake
:2thumbs: :yesnod: :wave:
to keep their
hind ends warm
and their feet
off the ground
and out of
the rain puddles
made for ducks
to poop in
before waddling to
the gooey sludge
in the shower
left from the
bucks party that
got out of
control due to
an overabundance of
whisky and rye
bread to put
out for the
tweety birds and
Jim's missing ducks
that still haven't
decided to return
home. So, after
many hours debating
of what to
wear on Sunday
they decided that
they'd go without
shirts and shoes
because the nanny
wore frilly knickers
that scared the
mice and roches
Back into the
corners and shadows
of the church
and the children
played in streets
that were safe
from roaming herds
of hippopotamus stampeding
chased by rabid
squirrels on the
back of rampant
monkeys heading for
the peanuts with
long tall sally
slippin' and slidin'
in monkey muk
and spandex garters
down around her
intake manifold so
it would keep
on keeping on
truckin' towards the
end of time
just around the
corner from the
beginning of creation
to the end
of time again
Before she could
button the last
Button on her
extra warm coat
the burnette was
about to discard
her left clog
back behind the
bike shed where
her right clog
was left after
a night of
stoking the bonfire
during the slumber
party for wayward
girls with significant
over bites that
don't have any
red marks because
their lips were
like mick jaggers
covered in soft
ever so creamy
buttermilk from the
bottom of the
now empty jug
from behind the
the green door ;D
that enters into
a weird place
behind the shed
where anything can
come true if
your eyes are
blue and your
got an open
mind and can
keep a secret
from the rest
of the blue
devil women and
their minions of
gargoyles flying west
to attack the
humans with relish
cause sauce sux
on raw meat
unless slowly barbecued
to a crisp
crackling with baked
cookie crumbs and
baked beans and
sauerkraut with plenty
of vegemite and jam
doughnuts from
I've gone with 2 words to make up for your 4 words. :icon_smile_big:
the nearest disco
Someone forget how to count? :lol:
were ducks make
woops :slap:
woopy after having
their feathers clipped
so duck muk
would stick to
not one of
their tail feathers
being bright pink
with spots and
and very long
stripes that are
only seen at
certain times of
the red dawn
when the temperature
falls below the
line needed to
register a temp
under a tree
in the shade
of the octopuses garden :icon_smile_big: (yes I know it's 4)
that was tended
by seven dwarves
and Snow White
getting ready for
the clam bake
at Poseidons' castle
on Saturdays full
moon out West
of the atlantic
Ocean and north
of the pacific
near Venice Beach
and all the
other tourist places
that never get
a chance to
suddenly ran out
of chicken wings
to the dismay
of all the
hot studded roosters
who's love handles
sagged below the
their ample ass
which galloped off
into the sunset
leaving behind a
huge dust cloud
that settled on
the swagman's acubra
and in his
rustic arteries bulging
from too much
sheep chasing and
sheep dip sauce
with beer drinking
wildebeest's frolicking profusely
in duck muck
which is good
for the complexion
if you're freckled
with red blemishes
on your behind
where it's hidden
from public view
so as not
to offend the
Senior citizens of
the morals club
of stiffpecker point
north of Flab
rendering plant in
and out of
the way of
the Great Oz
who hates getting
his feet washed
because his ticklish
so he uses
rope soap instead
of a wire
and sand paper
brush that leaves
green pigments on
the back of
that small pink
pigs right ear
while the other
hand washed the
the dirty dog
to make him
smell like roses
in a bed
with three bad
pigs and one
very funky meercat
looking for insurance
for his family
that lived far
under a pyramid
in the heart
of Saracen county
Where all the
camels and mummies
and genies lived
despite the humidity
and the heat
from the noonday
BBQ and fry
hosted by the
Pharaohs and their
scarabs frolicking freely
in Nefertiti's under
roof line spa
jets and bubbles
and champagne too
to wash away
the hard day
of toil and
decision making for
Nefertiti's frolicking scarabs
oh scarabs not
temples where she
danced all night
to the sound
of boogie woogie
Bongos players and
tambourines that shined
out to sea
like a welcome
mat thrown away
because it stank
and visitors are
really picky mothers
in laws that
really don't care
to be nice
or friendly to
anything or anybody
so as not
to start a
commotion during the
eve of Nefertiti's
honey, milk bath
and moustache waxing
so she looks
just as good
as she did
before the incident
that left a
scar on her
mind and broke
her big toe
before sacrificing herself
to the god
down the volcano
on the island
of all sinners
so the party
could start tomorrow
after the sacrifice
was successfully carried
to the BBQ
and covered in
honey, then roasted
to a juicy
golden color before
catching fire and
burning the couch
beyond recognition and
there was no
more chairs left
for viewing the
summer midnight movie
that featured the
sacrificial virgins dancing
around a fire
and getting ready
for bedtime stories
and pillow fights
before hunkering down
under a feather
for a good
spanking from the
very charming prince
Albert in a
gorilla costume and
dancing to the
gypsy kings cd
on the tape
and record player
went into shock
and awe unprepared
for the coming
of dreaded technology
instead of the
original and the
pounding of chests
and gnashing of
toasted marshmallows while
sitting near the
horses rear end
cooking on methane :shruggy:
and blowing smoke
off the marshmallows
and fanning the
the big ass
fantastic colossal humongous
hole in the
Kansas corn field
where giant caterpillars
get tan lines
from the saddles
on the unicorns
and the Pegasus
poster on the
bedroom wall, close
to the window
but not near
the door because
of leaving dirty
hand prints on
the Pegasus poster
as they walked
out of the
room with the
light out and
the hidden passageway
well sealed because
ghosts were escaping
from the rear
and wreaking havoc
with the front
porch light while
the dog growled
and the cat
hissed at the
three blind mice
scampering across the
well lit porch
into nearby shrubbery
with the knights
in white satin
that still go
to church every
once in a
canoe with paddles
upon the river
Styx where death
decided to go
elsewhere in search
of the lost
city of evil
Camaro owners. Before
visiting Mustang owners
and blowing the
snot out of
the windows of
Microsoft to smitherines
because of Windows
there's bugs on
the internet and
creepy crawlies on
the porn site
and unknown viruses
that no doctor
Could possibly cure
without some elixer
that tastes like
panther piss but
come in a
collectable blue bottle
so that you
can trade for
other colours when
they become available
in the meantime
we have to
head west for
the jamboree to
end all jamborees
that will be
under the nearest
peanut tree and
just down from
the rest home
where life savers
are served for
an amusing time
with musk the
essence of the
bull in rut
the favourite flavour
of cows in
the state of
Iowa and Kansas
were cows can
relax in pastures
safe from the
ogre under the
bridge that the
Billy goats gruff
crossed before being
driven to market
by the ogre
and the big
Mack truck that
got a flat
spot from stopping
to let the
goats have a
sip of tea
and a scone
with blueberries and
some strawberry jam
to fatten them
up for what
God only knows
but the guy
on the hill
has his own
opinions on life
he keeps hidden
under the floorboards
of his Dodge
which was rusted
from the flood
that washed away
half of the
homes along the
normally dusty creek
now filled with
homes and other
flotsam and jetsom
from the flood
of the century
old antique chair
woman and her
mangy little broom
that she rode
to the opera
on friday night
in order to
meet her friends
of the coven
and sweep the
convent floors clean
of dirty underwear
and spider cobwebs
in nooks and
crannies throughout the
members various parts
that are bright
from polishing and
and buffing with
fine emery paper
and lip gloss :rofl:
on the end
of a Q-tip
for easy ear
cleaning and polishing
and wax removal
for hearing the
out of tune
guitar and old
rocking chair creek
upon which sat
the centuries old
leather bound book
of broom ownership
containing special spells
for bristle stiffness
and wheelie takeoffs
as well as
loop the loops
in which kids
fall badly because
they get dizzy
and fall flat
and splatter on
the factory floor
Afterwards, the janitor
cleaned everything up
with a shovel
and dumped the
lot out the
door onto the
pavement so pedestrians
could pick up
the useable bits
of small leftover
kids at play
before taking them
out for a
ride in the
tandem seat broom
headed for north
seas by the
igloos made of
ice cream and
lemon sorbet
topped with cherries
and whipped cream
in which caused
an upset stomach
that tums would
be taken at
each meal and
before bed time
so they can
have sweet dreams
of the daily
routine for tomorrow
while counting sheep
while tossing and
turning in their
sleeping bags so
they won't freeze
in the summer
but could melt
smores by the
candle light and
dance a jig
to the beat
of a broken
didgeridoo that sounds
a dog vomiting
that sounds normal
for the current
muddle they find
themselves in, but
since they're stuck
in duck muck
instead of quicksand.......
because one is
saltier than your
armpit on a hot
August night right
from the Vegas
centre for the
hairy armpit sect
of mustang owners
and Camaro lovers
out cruising looking
for hot babes
with cold hearts
and chrome doorhandles
and shiny exhausts
that fall apart
when potatoes are
shoved into the
microwave and left
on for to
long and not
pricked so they
burst their insides
and made a
mess inside the
car owned by
Mickey and Minnie
so Pluto cleaned
what Goofy left
behind after licking
behind Donald Duck
and working his
hand under the
plug hole to
to keep the
duck muk in
the bath tub
for latter use
for a beautifying
the world of
interesting characters whom
mustang and Camaro
haters can't stand
because they drive
us all insane
with their constant
chatter and alien
car talk in
an unrecognized language
that only mustang
riders in jodhpurs
and thigh highs
galloping off towards
the setting sun
were momentarily blinded,
from the glare
and therefore missed
the exit sign
and drove another
heard of cattle
an extra 300
feet before they
collapsed from exhaustion
and lack of
appropriate accommodations at
the circle 4
so they had
to line up
for mug shots
for the local
sheep shearing festival
sponsored by the
big bad wolf
,little red riding
and mother goose
and the local
sherriff is upset
cause no animal
has been harmed
but humans have
tried their best
dress them in
fish net stockings
for perverse pleasures
for those interested
sharing their perversedness
with the rest
of the perverts
that hide in
spaceships heading for
another planet to
run amok in
their underwear while
being chased by
three giant cassowarys
and 6 emus
in high heels
and roller skates
brandishing dressage whips
and black leather
studded collars ready
button up if
they go to
the north pole
to visit Santa
and feed the
elves reindeer steaks
fresh from the
cool room ready
to feed the
masses Rudolf stew
garnished with shiny
red floating dumplings
that had cooked
to perfection in
elderberry wine, spiced
with certain herbs ;)
that cause multiple
hiccups and fierce
flatulence forced out
through chromed exhaust
hastily fitted to
waistcoat on their
pet penguins before
sending them on
a orientation course
for building self
defense from its
antlered reindeer team
that believe in
equal rights for
fighter jet pilots
that flew over
the rainbow to
rescue Dorthy from
fairy land because
it's make belief
was against her
strong sense of
the right direction
over the rainbow
back to home
on the range
with the deer
and the antelope
are at play
and eating the
food so discouraging
the fish from
heading up stream
before the bear
was in position
to go fishing
for mountain oysters
with mayo dressing
with a bit
dribbling down your
leg of the
cocktail table from
Italy, but taken
to Ireland by
ship and then
disposed of ironically
by a snake
of an individual
with the alias
I drive a
Ford Mustang because
I can't afford
to stop working
on my engine
nor can I
quit checking my
I phone for
text messages from
internet providers with
sale bargains in
replacement engine parts
in order to
generate revenue for
another new project
destined to be
sold on ebay
at a disproportionate
size of her
ears and nose
and extra large
shoes made for
jumping over hurdles
and walking on
water to get
the masses aroused
before turning up
at the designated
meet and greet
with snags and
in their stockings
very unbecoming for
the local dance
and booby show
where the boys
could have a
sneak peek at
the best boobies
traps ever built
to catch boobies
rotating counter clockwise
and then clockwise
with their tassels
dangling from their
very best assets
that amount to
a couple of
krispy kreme donuts
good cop tucker
which horses dread
cause they can't
carry the weight
of their donut
gorged riders and
the stress of
all those calories
give you tummyblowout
and ruptured saddles
, not to mention
gaseous indigestion from
too many donuts
and not enough
Pepto Bismol or
ENO's but they
drink plenty of
teeth rotting sodas
and hot coffee
to wash away
the sugary film
left from the
night before when
they had iced
boston buns oozing
some sort of
teeth staining substance
containing blueberries and
epoxy that also
serves the purpose
of shutting up
all low life
that post in
irrelevant nonsense that
that spreads like
California wild fires
and promotes hate
of sugary stuff
across the land
of ginger bread
and chocolate frosting
so the economy
rebounds from a
sugar low to
rev up the
massive hemi motor
that sits in
in Fred's charger
that never sees
the back of
Burk or anywhere
to far from
a service station :icon_smile_big:
with premium unleaded
fuel for a
quick trip to
put a smile
on his face
on everyone' faces
when they see
him grinning from
sea to shining
sea where the
yellow sub passed
a pink battleship
carrying mother goose
and big bird
man from Alcatraz
that couldn't escape
the madhouse where
all manner of
loonies lived and
performed insane acts
on life's stage
of humanity and
that guy in
the purple tutu
with green tights
and red hair
from the WWE
stage with other
hand full of
the other guys
green hair and
pink polka dot
hula hoops that
spun around their
rather slim ankles
as the tutu's
flounced about their
ears before falling
below their knickers
showing their voluptuous
legs and nobby
back bone protruding
nearly through the
fire breathing dragon
tattooed on his
highly defined cranium
under his hat
which he wore
to keep warm
on cold nights
while hunting in
the neighbours garden
for moles and
worms to go
in the moles
soup bowl as
they were fussy
about all the
preservatives added food
they got at
the warehouse where
rats and cats
elephants were turned
to the left
over waste from
the bats and
Dracula after they
had bled the
stone for all
it was worth
but still left
an empty hole
in his sole
of his shoe
which let the
big toe hang
10 on a
bus roof because
the smell of
day old toejam
was too intense
to stay inside
the allocated perimeter
of the big
fish pond by
neighborhood playground with
little sail boats
and unknown creatures
swabbing the decks
to remove the
remnants of battle
through duck muk
and fish guts
and eye patches
worn by mean
gap toothed ogres
who eat all
the little children
who stray near
the giant beanstalk
that led to
the wicked witches
of the clouds
troll home world
far far away
from normal life
in the land
of all the
munchkins and leprechauns
running around the
forests looking for
pots of gold
hidden by fairies
for making fairy
Soup and salad
croutons out of
Hansel and Gretel's
old sandwich bread
which tastes like
old dry wall
and plaster from
two centuries ago
when children wore
Knickerbockers and leather
and buckled shoes
while flying on
broomsticks their mothers
couldn't use, so
off they went
singing and crying
for their suppers
but nobody listened
because of their
"cry wolf" antics
and whining ways
the salem witches
granted three wishes
to the evil
stepmother and her
two daughters who
shied away from
all the mirrors
because they were
frighten by the
imagelessness ( :shruggy:) staring back
through the dark
and murky waters
of the swamp
where the creature
from the black
lagoon found solace
and plenty of
pina coladas that
nobody wanted because
they lacked an
ability to debate
:smilielol: :slap:
an issue without
dismissing it as
absurd or irrelevant
because no monkey
would show its
true colours unless
you spanked it
with fairy floss
and funnel cakes
because nobody should
have to put
quote boxes in
every response to
correct every word
that was said
by everybody on
the same page
but talking different
slangs so that
some didn't understand
the true meaning
of his words
read from his
Book of poetry
that contained several
facts and figures
only he could
read the encoded
cryptic message enclosed
in the sealed
envelope with the
tape covering the
plastic melted seal
that wouldn't budge
when using a
blow torch or
tactical nuke so
everyone just started
to make stuff
up as they
went so soon
there was chaos
and the end
and nobody cared
two bobs worth
a bob is a shilling
about what was
being dismissed as
totally irrelevant garbage
instead of actually
being dismissed as
biting truths that
by his authority
were totally irrelevant
except by snobbery
and monkey business
that got obnoxious
and childish beyond
so the monkeys
went for their
banana boat cruise
the party and
played childish games
all the way
to the bank
but the ATM
had been robbed
by a child
who was dismissed
from school early
and later came
to sequester the
school teacher for
monkey see, monkey
show his butt
to the teacher
who stole his
little bike bell
from off his
tricycle so that
he was silent
because silence is
preferred in the
Beethoven household and
noisy children won't
do their chores
and are made
to stand in
the laundry folding
freshly laundered nappies
for monkey's use
after drinking gallons
of coffee with
other monkeys who
threw their poop
all over the
recently cleaned walls
painted green and
hand painted daisy's
with streams and
brightly colored confetti
on the floor
next to the
Charger models that
the imps like
to play DOH
while terrorizing each
other with special
pieces of candy
that were made
in the shape
little tiny orange
Mopars and tasted
oily and greasy
chili cheese fries
gave bad gass
Clipped my toenails
till they bled
because wasn't paying
someone else to
professionally remove them
with pliers made
made in Taiwan
by someone who
usually makes chopsticks
but wanted a
motor scooter to
pick up chicks
in China town
before the dragon
could make off
with them all
before getting caught
thus disgracing himself
in front of
his trainer who
would discipline him
with a canning
so delightful he'll
squeal with pleasure
and delight till
the Turkish embassy
called syria's crimes
against hobbits and
their hairy feet
with toe fungus
hanging ten from
over the highest
wave before falling
on the sharp
crab shell that
covers thier privites
but only just
lost one ball
to the wave
and the sharks
before swimming for
firstaid an turnacut
where he can
stitch his wounds
with fancy crocheting
yarn colored bright
puce and speckled
with yellow spots
so it glows
in the dark
but turns invisible
under a blue
light just before
it explodes into
fresh lump of
sugar to sweeten
the morning coffee
brewed by cowboys
on the cattle
train heading for
the wilds of
the Kansas plains
riddled with sinkholes
capable of fitting
pop cans in
cooler chests upside
the passenger seat
headed for nowhere
very rapidly so
everyone hung on
for dear life
as they sailed
downstream in a
dugout canoe from
the pigmy indians
from the lowlands
to the left
of the swamp
where gargoyles lurk
in the trees
way above the
canoe paddling dupes
that have lost
all sense of
right and wrong
trying to spot
purple striped otters
chased by killer
bees on steroids
so they had
the honey badger
running in circles
fighting off the
million mad bees
but the fight
only lasted a
few hours before
the bears started
looking for the
spot to eat
pots of honey
and rest by
the cool stream
flowing down to
the valley below
and through the
woods to grandmother's
cabin to eat
the apple pie
and smoke grandma's
corn cobb pipe
with spice and
everything nice for
the night and
rest in the
tree house out
in the redwoods
near the golden
pond with the
ducks and their
duck muk making
whoopee by the
shore of the
gitche gumee where
tickets were sold
for the rodeo
finals down under
where bull riding
is tricky because
the rope was
behind the rider
under his tush
like a thong
so they rode
ladies' side saddle
in pink tights
and tutus until
they fall headlong
into duck muk
resembling a quagmire
loosing their pink
painted false eyelashes
and getting muk
between their teeth
which made smiling
incredibly gruesome to
for all onlookers
who dare to
stare at the
poster that advertised
100 more to go. :scratchchin:
a dental clinic
that closed decades
ago due to
:slap: That's 4 words :lol:
trees death and
decay and rot
yes, I did correct myself so your response no longer makes sense :lol:
that littered the
It does too! :icon_smile_big:
state highway heading
down route 66
that continued onto
the freeway through
the parted sea
by moses and
his faithful dog
making footprints in
the wet cement
to the delight
of council workers
on their way
home after concreting
the Red Sea
so they can
wash up and
sun bake in
the lounge chair
drinking iced tea
with straws from
the pantry. meanwhile
Moses and his
followers walked the
desert track to
the golden arches
and spotted Babylon
buying a big
mac and diet
Dr. Pepper with
larger fries and
for sharing with
the three little
blind mice that
loves salt on
their cheese because
they hate the
slugs that slime
found on most
garden plants and
on maca's gherkins
which is why
you should always
carry snail bait
and some salt
in your pocket
and forget to
shake them out
when getting changed
leaving a gritty
bit just behind
to get stuck
in the crack
of her pants
exposed when bending
like a pretzel
during yoga class
doing the happy
tail wagging dog
ever after thing
and other yoga
that other ladies
enjoy doing together
while knitting hankies
and blankies for
all the needy
seniors at the
fountain of youth
where moses had
his chat with
his followers while
hanging out waiting
for starbucks to
whip up their
favorite cup of
piping hot coffee
with honey and
half and half
monkey juice and
a touch of
class, sorely missing
in the world
the true meaning
of Christmas and
of having fun
in the snow
where the kids
make snow angels
while singing the
blues while the
dogs thumped their
long tails while
howling in time
at the full
yellow hole in
plain view of
the kittens and
the rat dog
chasing the rat
into the messy
hallway next to
the study with
the pet iguana
sitting on the
a match stick
smoking together with
a gila dragon
by there side
to watch for
the northern lights
before they're snuffed
out by the
keeper of the
kiff as bubblegum
to the child
gets stuck in
the little red
tin and is
lodged in between
two front teeth
that were sticking
through the tennis
shoes tight stirrups
that was wrapped
in pita bread
with cucumber sauce
soaking into the
split rabbit stew
poly's cooking up
along with a
pot of tea
for potty people
not snotty people
who drink only
Mountain Dew and
give off an
odor of roses
when they fart
before drawing another
pot of tea
to a boil
on the primus
kitchen stove top
than caught fire
flies in jars
to light their
big Cuban cigars
to keep mosquitos
away by using
a mixture of
lavender and some
very fine netting
for real men to
drink some espresso
or not as
a hot tea :drool5:
also hits the
fan without the
proper preparation technique
to become a
work of art
restoring our Chargers
to their glory
to parade them
down memory lane
in front of
the class of
Best Muscle Car
to grace the
streets on that
hot Sept night
and the right
thing to do
is lead the
parade doing burnouts
at CRC motorsport
where everyone can
see the best
of the best
of all Mopars
to totally titillate
all non believers
into believing what
they could have
gotten away with
by buying Dodge
for little money
to start with
so they could
lose it at
playing Mahjong's with
all Plymouth owners
watching closely while
trying to match
undesirable cars to
the majority of
the general public
with no taste
so they didn't
ask for seconds
when they gave
out more porridge
so there'd be
leftovers for the
real porridge eaters
like the three
little pigs and
red riding hood
who slept in
the house next
door to the
big bad wolf
and polly pockets
snuck in his
hotwheels case with
GI Joe and
Arnie and gang
in a tidy
up mission from
the twilight zone
where triffids invade
the forest and
spread their seeds
to populate the
the ozone layer
with methane gases
the better to
widen the hole
by releasing it
for the sun
to dry out
the wet spot
left by the
rat dog while
waiting to be
sent away to
boarding school because
he was a
naughty little boy
who ran away
with the beans
to grow the
beanstalk that Jack
had planned to
climb later in
the cool evening
by moonlight and
sunset over the
lake in the
forest near the
mountain with snow
half way down
the sunny side
of the cliff
towards the green
,green grass of
the valley below
overlooking the meadows
where the cattle
roamed free from
marauding saber-toothed lions
with long sharp
pointed ears that
if aimed correctly
could hear a
dog whistle from
the whistle blower
whose being interviewed
for whistle blower
of the year
in their monthly
awards magazine printed
by whistle blowers
to cover their
secret identities from
the pointy eared
jackalops that travel
around killing whistle
blowers who cry
wolf once to
stop world peace
, disguised as smart
car was surprised
TO BE SUCH
a loser at
driving fast on
on inter state
between Washington and
never land with
unicorns and pegasus
flying cover for
the sky is
full of flying
critters and machines
that can grow
in walla walla
, Washington beside the
old pickup truck
with the rusted
bed where the
cord of wood
was piled too
high for delivering
to the beach
house for warming
the family's cornbread
and chicken dumplings
with peach cobbler
and ice cream
with strawberries so
that everyone got
a heaping spoonful
and went away
feeling full of
peaches and strawberries
and wondering why
we are running
into the ocean
to surf it
till the sun
went down under
the western horizon
over puget sound
where the Seattleites
sipped on starbucks
and gossiped with
the locals about
the space needle
where UFO's landed
to the dismay
of all concerned
as little green
men in tights
started skipping about
and blowing kisses
at the fairies
in the front
of the line
at the beer
beach bar where
all the fairies
hang out and
talk Charger stuff
while downing some
ginger ale and
whatever poison they
put in the
dust they sprinkle
on the nachos
given to good
Samaritan's and small
itinerant farmers from
tiny little planets
far far away
from the orb
in a galaxy
far far away
orbiting while singing
yankee doodle dandy
and doing the
twist with your
tongue around a
frozen basketball post
only to be
surrounded by dozens
of curious onlookers
wondering why someone
would put their
left ski on
right handed caterpillar
that was very
green and fuzzy
and very hungry
for alpine skiers
blue wooly coats
to burrow into
the silky lining
to stay warm
on a summer
porch swing by
the old oak
out back in
the abandoned town
hit by meteors
years ago and
left to fend
off the locusts
to no avail
allowing the locusts
to come and
celebrate Mardi Gras
wearing nothing but
a maple leaf
with cutouts for
easy access for
escaping the crowds
that surrounded the
many green critters
with their little
razor sharp teeth
and huge grin
red piercing eyes
and long nose
designed to smell
odors from galaxy's
far far away
in never neverland
next to the
land of Oz
with the munchkins
and flying monkeys
with the wicked
witch astride her
vroom broom flying
high above Oz
yelling at the
monkeys to giddyup
and quit throwing
their paddles away
because Dorothy and
the minnow crew
were last seen
swimming upstream to
checkpoint Charlie so
the sneak attack
by the little
squirrels could begin
against the chipmunks
and their striped
pole cat commandos
bellowing out orders
to the rats
of tobruk as
cats invaded the
refrigerator in search
the pied piper
whistling dixie through
his butt cheeks
while toilet paper
was like floss
and totally useless
whereas a toothbrush
can do wonders
between your toes
and under your
nose but not
for removing wax
from bee hives
and pointy ears
that need licking
to keep ticking
in time to
do the kicking
in the jig
on prom night
where the monster
mash was a
front for all
the werewolves in
drag to get
high on wolf's
saliva and scent
each others posts
pretending to be
werewolves from somewhere
other than Transylvania
or west Suffolk
in order to
get a thrill
while riding on
roller skates to
the corner store
to buy penny
rockets to go
light up the
north Sky's and
scare the pigeons
from the peaks
of the mountains
that had snow
which is yellow
from the gleam
of the sunshine
and the dogs
are chasing rabbits
around the mulberry
patch at the
edge of the
meadow down by
the junkyard where
the wolves howl
at the ladies
of the night
that gather wood
to warm their
fuzzy little bunnies
with very ample
lucky feet charms
with buyers waiting
for a rabbits'
tootsie so they
could dance all
the way to
the bank in
wing tipped shoes
and their birthday
party hats and
masquerade ball masks
so the surveillance
cameras couldn't differentiate
their true identities
from the other
end of the
football field because
they were all
heading for the
basketball courts to
play the bagpipes
that ends with
kilt twirling competitions
to see who
had the foresight
to wear boxers
or brush his
braided bleached dreadlocks
that hung from
shoe string straps
attached with reef
sea weed and
sailors knots that
just won't come
out to play
cricket on the
steps of the
White House in
full regalia that
belonged to the
mob next door
before they moved
to the boondocks
on the shore
of that lake
Jesus! I can't get a word in edgeways!!!!!!!!!
that's three goes :icon_smile_big:
:lol:
I slipped up
on a banana
but managed to
Pick himself up
before the cops
laughed at me
for utter silliness
and going topless
and clown like
bozo who wore
too much makeup
that covered his
exposed bits to
the Australian sun
devil out by
the black stump
where camels wait
you took the words right out of my mouth
for their water
to be milked
wait, they're males
Real cowboys here try to milk bulls.
looking for gals
but none of them have succeeded :icon_smile_big:
with one hump
left in them
to scare away
would be humpers
of the strange
and very unusual
blue eyed beauty
at the bottom
of the community
chest in the
bottomless coffers of
LA LA land
amidst the mountain
peaks of the
Himalayan mountain range
on the border
of never never
and la la
to start a
whole new country
of mini me's
and maxi thems
to reform the
way Himalayans ski
down the glaciers
to go get
the bath ready
for ducky time
of splishin' and
splashing and having
a gay ol
time of it
making bubbles and
puddles on the
pond by the
enchanted forest cottage
built from straw
by a little
pig waiting for
a blowhard wolf
to blowoff steam
at the blowproof
community centre where
all little pigs
are kept safe
from the butcher
who's marrying his
3rd cousin's ex
soon to be
related to his
over bearing mother
in law that
comes with instructions
written only in
Hungarian spoken Lithuanian
gangster rap lyrics
that can't be
understood by anyone
except their followers
that are doped
to the eyeballs
that are blood
red with flecks
that look terrifying
to only pink
panthers and little
white ants trying
crawl up the
anteaters nose and
slide down on
the under side
of his long
tail to escape
the sudden explosion
caused by backfire
from the underside
of your feet
stomping on some
duck muk and
then washing them
in caustic soda
to clean off
the sticky muk
from the ducks
tails parted in
the shape of
a fan like
array of color
like a rainbow
during a rain
shower over the
crystal clear blue
eyed lass from
MO. where all
the citizens know
they're in paradise
but the Montanan
sheep run from
grizzlies and cougars
that are wild
spirits of the
nether regions that
compete with crabs
for food for
the leader of
of the yellow
finned tuna school
who was top
of the food
chain before the
red devils arrived
to play poker
with a stacked
plate of flapjacks
with bacon and
runny eggs and
hash browns and
a big cup
of tea with
cream and sugar
made by a
hot red head
yum...lets eat
count me in
to wash dishes
because no one
was ambitious enough
to wash them
clean enough to
use again so
your dog can
smash them against
their neighbors house
then dig up
their kids toy
before the kid
broke the mean
machine, so now
Maxim is hopping
on hot coals
like a little
jumping bean in
a daycare center
throwing a tantrum
because he wasn't
being treated as
a responsible adult
that acted like
he knows everything
but knows nothing
about how to
find his little
about bullying posters
tacked to the
roof of his
bedroom lit up
like lights over
the Christmas tree
on Christmas story
that's been told
for generations by
the elders of
the three wise
nuns who also
had dinner with
the blessed rooster
who lived a
blessed life before
mother hen gave
mother goose a
box of candied
chili peppers for
dinner with wine
vinaigrette covering the
salad with bacon
and green eggs
watching girls soccer
and beach volleyball
birds chirping happily
for the loss
of pea shooters
shot at their
favorite aunts' favorite
pair of knickers
and high heels
that she wore
to her prom
Where's Poly?
70 years ago
after being worn
by her mother
and handed down
to the elder
that kept them
starched and ready
for Sunday brunch
with jam and cream
cheese bagels with
a shrimp cocktail
at the beach
where the sand
is getting into
every know orifice
i'm back :yesnod:
ever invented by
hello :wave:
the guy that
created Milton and
hebie and jebie
setting his sights
on mickey's ass
by creating a
:cheers:
whole new toon
:cheers:
for the loonies
and the melodies
that were merry
men of sherwood
that drank and
wore tight tights
while swinging from
the tree tops
looking for love
in all the
wrong places until
all of a
Have a good one :cheers:
sudden maid Marion
calling it a night.
wasn't a maid
:cheers:
of honor at
:wave:
the ogres wedding
nor was she
very lady like
because she was
not chosen to
go to finishing
school with the
pretty little female
ogres of the
held Monday night
at the local
Irish pub at
the outskirts of
Timbuktu beyond the
the oasis that
harbors the camels
because the ships
were sinking from
all the kings
cargo that they
loaded in the back
of the bus
with flat tires
creating a bumpy
ride control system
fit for kings
of spin and
turn, I'm so
dizzy, my head
is spinning, like
a whirlpool it
never ends, And
it's you girl
makin' it spin
you're making me
dizzy, first time
I need to hit the sack, I'm flying to Australia. :wave:
that I saw
a pink unicorn
dance in the
back of a
pickup truck with
three little pigs
running from the
the big bad
hairy and fat
wholly mammoth and
his sidekick buddy
the good little
troll from under
the blue pebble
on the bank
of a creek
somewhere in Wisconsin
in the woods
where the bears
eat the honey
and crap everywhere
in the woods
so Goldie locks
steps in it
knee deep and
carries it wherever
she walks to
her boyfriend's to
the laundry mat
to watch the
movies in the
dryer while spinning
on a dime
, there's sh*t everywhere
so the pigs
wallow in pleasure
until the cows
stampeded through the
yonder green valley
towards the ravine
where the buffalo
and antelope play
hard to get
the stain out
on the garage
door opener before
locking up for
the holidays and
hibernating for 3
hours before partying
till the sun
comes over the
moon with the
a huge splash
of cheddar cheese
for stuffing the
burritos for the
after party celebrations
that followed the
long road home
away for the
very first time
out of the
blue to establish
a foot hold
on the sidewalk
leading up to
Mount Rushmore and
on to the
other attractions around
the world, banned
for being to
old fashioned for
the new age
of young adults
at pre school
with smart phones
and bubble gum
learning their abc's
off an I-pad
instead of writing
a letter to
Santa Claus asking
a sports car
in their stocking
that lights up
a big Cuban
karaoke machine that
that plays rap
in French and
three other languages
that no one
from Istanbul can
make any sense
from the cents
or the pesos
required to make
whoopee after the
three legged ball
bounced off the
slow kids head
landing hard on
the tennis courts
where strawberries and
cream are served
watermelons grew large
under ample sweaters
and neck ties
were used to
tie each other
to the banister
so they wouldn't
fall while sliding
down the gutters
in the downpour
in the dinning
room without a
umbrella so everyone
scooted under the
crystal chandelier for
to better see
at the movie
kisses in the
cupboard with barbie
and her twin
peaks to the
west of the
Grand Tetons where
Old Faithful spews
up all over
your shoes if
Not careful where
where you stand
and watch for
flying chunky bits
exploding on impact
called buffalo chips
good for heating
when burnt at
the stake for
the in laws
at the expense
Of the outlaws
who missed out
on elk steaks
and campfire coffee
and marshmallow s'mores
dipped in whiskey
and shared with
no-one in particular
so no-one got
what they deserved
and everyone got
in a huff
because no-one got
to really enjoy
hot tea with
the queen of
clubs and jack
of all trades
that can do
anything for anyone
of the price
is right show
watched daily by
those with nothing
to post on
but worthless information
on ford mustangs
being rounded up
to sell at
the low price
of two for
tea and scones
with a cup
left over for
the afternoon just
to make life
that much more
enjoyable for all
to live a
dream while sipping
hot cocoa with
miniature marshmallows and
whipped cream floating
with a nice
fresh donut for
supper. Afterwards Sara
snuck out the
3rd story window
and climbed down
30 flights of
stairs leading towards
the oasis outdoors
where the waterfall
became raspberry lemonade
cappuccino frappe mocha
froth concealing terrible
demons of such
a variety of
Chaos that they
could not decide
where to begin
or where to
let Sara go
to be devoured
by a miniature
sea horse that
carries a huge
horn upon its
very little nose
making it extremely
armed and dangerous
to itself, plus
really pissed off
the cowboy who
could not swim
with his boots
made of cement
that was too
soft for his
hairy legs and
made his feet
sweat from all
furry little critters
nibbling on his
toe jam in
shifts of three
amigos next to
the house of
a thousand cards
held together by
thumb tacks because
they ran out
of the sticky
tape that they
could not remove
once affixed to
teflon coated baking
pans that are
burnt beyond recognition
caused by the
good night :wave:
solar flare from
:wave:
the tanning salon
where hilary was
burnt to a
bright red lobster
sort of color
matching that of
a crimson flower
that is grown
in the mountains
near the border
of Colorado and
Cuba in order
to smoke cigars
and dance like
Gypsies in summer
with ants in
their blousy bloomers
biting tender parts
:wave: work calls
and leaving itchy
Have a great day! :yesnod:
red bumps with
that cover all
their toes and
the tips of
their poison darts
aimed towards the
poor, defenseless, little
wabbit with the
basket of carrots
and a crazy
notion about what
should happen to
them all if
giant Galapagos tortoises
approach from leftfield
throwing irrelevant comments
left and right
and forcing more
down everyone's throats
till the tortoises
dismissed themselves from
the irrelevant conversation
held in lieu
of what everyone
expected thus causing
total anarchy amongst
corrugated iron dwellers
throwing sticks at
their coworkers at
the cow shed
housing the sheep
behind the barn
full of horses
because the stables
held chicken coops
and ferret cages
in order to
sell their eggs
and keep foxes
as pets while
pretending to be
super dog and
dyno mut the
circus clown without
bozo who was
MIA in town
for the showdown
between pennywise and
moneypenny who was
the favourite but
always cussed out
loud and got
whipped the little
dangly bit hanging
from her chin
hair and a
really weird green
thing hanging from
the ear lobe
and swinging in
around and up
to her nose
good night :wave:
to drip snot
:wave:
into the still
for some moonshine
OOPS! I got ahead of myself.
with real kick
:slap:
ass starter punch
just as long
as you swallow
while holding your
nuts to stop
the squirrels from
nibbling them while
staggering from moonshine
induced stumbles and
blurred vision and
out of nowhere
the squirrel strikes
with such force
that the left
ear fell off
revealing a huge
computer chip that
was downloading everything
for future reference
so no one
can dismiss him
as totally irrelevant
and baseless upon
:smilielol: :smilielol: :smilielol: :smilielol: :smilielol: :smilielol: :smilielol: :rofl:
lacking people skills
and should therefore
pull his head
out of the
orifice its in
and stick it
firmly up a
I can't play. I'm still :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
hippo's ample ass
I had your go for you :2thumbs:
where it will
petrify and go
stale before being
spat out like
chewing Tabaco after
having been chewed
for five weeks
by an old
two toothed codger
with infected gums
needing desperate medical
mary jane but
only getting a
stiff neck every
other Friday because
she sticks it
to the man
on the moon
and get by
with green cheese
in your ear
and eaten by
the three blind
bears looking for
the one eyeball
guarded by the
the minotaur that
roams the labrynth
looking for david
and mary who
lost Joseph somewhere
on the long
road home from
the biggest car
show on Earth
featuring all the
best mopar models
including the infamous
leno turbine car
and the General
electric chrome toaster
, a rare find
for the serious
collector of past
icons of industry
improvements for mankind
and quirky gadgets
for catch-all drawers
that never see
the daylight again
because the sun
is hiding from
their shinny surfaces
that sometimes slither
around when the
moon is full
of biscuit dough
and corn fritters
to be sold
to the man
during lunch break
if he has
change in his
portmanteau which he
carries wherever he
goes, afraid to
wear soiled clothing
in case he
messes his trousers
with free samples
of date filled
cabbage rolls that
covered in cheese
and top off
with Tabasco sauce
with a hint
of pepper jack
on the side
to spice things
with spice girls
that weren't but
did not include
a disclaimer for
being responsible of
being a spice
without a name
unheard of in
the spice world
unable to catch
a sneeze in
the bus as
passengers are boarding
and sneezing is
definitely prohibited in
crowded coaches as
there are not
any pepperspray cans
to spray the
That's 4 words by the way. :brickwall: :icon_smile_wink:
graffiti spraying youths
seeing as how I joined two words together to make them one, your accusation is baseless and therefore dismissed
to keep them
Darn the luck :brickwall:
on the strait and narrow ;D
minded and broadsided :slap: :smilielol:
by a bus
then scooped up
and slapped on
a hamburger bun
with relish and
eaten with gusto
bacon, lettuce, and
avocado mayonnaise with
a sick feeling
before even eating
the boiled lobster
and caviar canapés
and then exploding
through his linen
shirt out into
the open, for
some fresh air
as the explosion
hit like a
from his pants
and blew out
his collar spreading
fleas and some
straw around the
the barn behind
where you live
in the mansion
with old Hugh
Hefner and his
dancing chickens while
the easter bunny
spewed eggs everywhere
from the nest
to share with
goldilocks and her
many feathered friends
flying around her
landing pad which
is for her
privately owned, one
flight of friends
taking off with
out any extra
time delay as
time is short
for departure from
the local space
launch to the
televised in living
:wave:
color that was
n b c
reruns aired on
C B S
for those who
A B C
viewers and listeners
that watch T.V.
won't miss the
opening season including
duck season instead
of hunting elk
, lets go swimming
and diving off
the white cliffs
of limestone that
makes up Dover
air force base
and can be
seen for miles
out at sea
by killer whales
and dolphins that
are looking for
mermaids to play
Marco polo at
his own game
of spin the
golden yarn into
a sweater for
the golden fleece
for prince stoker
wear while shagging
to keep from
catching a chill
because of the
draught coming from
the north seas
and reaching his
bare cheeks that
turning purple with
each squeeze of
a pair of
great big pink
fuzzy bunny slippers
and bunny suit
made of pink
finely spun sugar
that melts when
very softly licked
or drooled on
by anyone who
has a sweet
addiction or is
looking to excite
himself while standing
in the frontrow :smilielol:
at the opera
house by the
shores of Sydney
cove at night
where fire works
before being shown
Sydneysiders and their
guests a good
show of fire
works for the
sharks and seals
being hunted by
the hungry locals
for tomorrows breakfast
at the rocks
down by the
board walk on
Muscle Beach Pier
on the Ferris
bueller day off
which has become
a cult movie
that I watch
at least once
a year over
popcorn and beer
on tap from
the fountain of
of youth out
behind the loo
where the bull
keeps it filled
with lots of
cows that make
a huge mess
playing in the
puddles of chocolate
cow pats and
road apples and
yellow puddles made
from cow squashed
in the snow
cones from the
broken snow blower
out back in
the barn rotting
from all of
the discarded vegetables
eating by the
the pigs who
blew the house
owned by wolffie
and little red
hen and their
uncle buck who
sat their kids
in his Charger
on condition they
buckle up and
sit down and
play road games
like spotto till
night fell on
the happy group
following them from
west to east
and back again
and through the
river and over
bridge that led
to grandma's house
where the wolf
had been humped
by little red
and her friend
that sat on
him while she
kicked his ass
back into shape
and ready for
the next round
of Poker where
the card cheats
were escorted out
in full regalia
to the awaiting
delight of elfins
that dance fairylike
with dwarves and
tinklebell wearing only
her rain coat
in anticipation of
a very bawdy
weather front coming
from down below
causing massive destruction
up above the
the valleys before
the huge mountains
eroded away, revealing
hundreds of fossilised
weird ass critters
that lived during
the time of
the ice age
that were smart
and could learn
but not that
easy to understand
what had happened
to the five
that weren't fossilised
weird ass critters
and flew away
with their tails
between their legs
and dragging behind
a sack of
big red potatoes
for frying on
a open grill
for snacking on
before going to
bed, totally stuffed
up to their
ankles in deep
wet duck muk
already fermenting into
calling it a night. :wave:
green slime with
me too, good night :wave:
knobby knees and
big huge toes
with suckers on
the bottom that
allow it to
climb the walls
like a gecko
with sticky fingers
in your pockets
and pulls out
a handful of
fake paper money
and pocket lint
left over from
parts receipts and
midnight munchies at
the all night
diner on main
with that sexy
song playing on
the Sony stereo
owned be the
army of the
republic of all
American baseball fans
in left field
with everybody else
being noted in
American bandstand seating
all the executives
with suits and
slushies with green
lensed glasses covering
blood shot eyes
from the harsh
moonshine made from
old socks and
shoe leather that
we've got some severe storms happening at the moment so I might lose my IS any time.
tastes worse than
urea powder taken
with a cup
of tap water
and Cayenne pepper
up your nose
makes your eyes
run worst than
Quote from: Fred on September 17, 2013, 11:32:33 PM
we've got some severe storms happening at the moment so I might lose my IS any time.
Stay safe!
niagara falls in
:2thumbs:
the spring season
when all the
barrels go over
the edge of
the water falls
and hit hard
on the rocks
with a twist
of a little
slice of lime
and a hint
to where the
aroma came from
and why it
never left the
the edge of
the swimming hole
which made bathing
with soap and
Good nite :wave:
other chemicals very
nightie night.
soothing for old
i'll try good morning :wave:
old tired bones
found in lake
Bonneville
Washington near the
bloody dam site
of the best
fast running cars
to be found
in the US
and the rest
of north America
giving a sense
Of pride and
envy to show
off his wife
leaning over our
crappy old Camaro
and junk mustang
until our Chargers
gathered at the
last car show
for the season
of the witch
who waited patiently
for the GL
to leave the
first born male
that was attending
the witches convention
hexes are us
where he met
at first light
the mighty sorcerer
believed to be
my first wife
turned herself into
not you too? (sounds just like my first wife)
my second mom
who loves horses
stampeding towards the
the mess tent
for a sample
of fine epicurian
military rations and
served only with
salt and pepper
on a bed
of wriggly worms
massaging your backside
until stuff leaks
out from under
the bed sheets
to ooze on
to the floorboards
where it oozed
into the mouth
of the sleeping
Zombies and the
headless horseman who
didn't have a
horse at all
so, he was
riding a stick
to no avail
but was making
rubber hose he
could use to
swing from if
it broke while
tying it around
the old oak
chest that was
heavy as hell
but lighter than
a pot with
brick in it
dated centuries ago
by Einstein himself
which made it
the best built
silver tea pot
and wooden lid
that he could
lift off without
spilling a drop
three random words
so now what?
Lets just get
back to the
future before it's
already the past
the speed of
5 mph before
the mall cops
busts the goat
eating the fake
potted palm out
in the desert
of las vegas
out near the
abandoned old truck
to the wind
tunnel that was
chock full of
wind not able
to let it
pass through without
letting all the
gases explode into
the air ship
Called the Hindenberg
sailed away without
so much as
a note to
let anyone know
who ate the
last frosted brownie
needs to replace
them with some
shots of jagermeister
and cheese pizza
smothered in garlic
sauce sprinkled with
hundreds and thousands
of tiny little
lady bugs that
lay their love
purely by accident
because they forgot
where they were
on a tasty
bed of bacon
,tomato and lettuce
on a sesame
seed bun and
lashings of special
ddt dipping sauce
no more worms
to go fishing
for big juicy
Early birds who
forgot the beer
naked lady dancers
required for a
Prawper gentlmens club
outing to the
local fair ground
that showed lovely
ladies a good
breakfast so that
they could dance
a line dance
on their tippy
toes with frilly
daisy duke shorts
and legs that
walked onehundred miles
to the nearest
foot rest and
back massager to
straighten the seams
on their fish-net
two piece stockings
complete with matching
neck ties for
hanging around with
those girls from
the show baywatch
where the lifesavers
wear skimpy costumes
running around in
nothing but a
fig leaf and
some wet thin
floss covers for
the seat in
the golf cart
that looked like
:wave: off to cook tea
red pin stripes
have one for me :wave:
painted on the
backside and under
the left fender
where the bracket
Good night :wave:
had rusted away
:wave:
from spilling coke
in the airvents
in front of
a police officer
eating a donut
the size of
a Frisbee with
his morning coffee
after his morning
jog ,yea right
before his physical
examination for that
long awaited promotion
from crossing guard
to cavalry man
scraping up horse
that collapsed under
to much weight
of the load
and is breathless
from the run
making it suitable
for cardio vascular
open heart surgery
performed by the
new york yankees
without surgical knowledge
and bats as
powerful as thunder
flew around the
street lanterns during
a midnight storm
that blew in
from the south
and took cover
from the torrential
insults spewing out
of the roadies
camping out in
the back field
of Wrigley stadium
hoping for some
fallout from the
popcorn popper above
for a free
pop corn shower
or burnt popcorn
that couldn't be
given to the
movie going public
for free so
they mixed it
with chocolate covered
hundreds and thousands
for multi coloured
Easter egg shells
that tasted like
turds warmed up
mixed with burnt
popcorn left over
from afternoon tea
4 years ago
when we were
still so young
to not throw
rocks at bottles
full of whiskey
and rye singing
Do a Diddity
dum diddity do
miss American pie
drove my chevy
to the levee
in order to
fish for food
while waiting for
the tide to
turn to bad
waters off the
the coast of
new zealand where
all hope was
lost due to
the Grinch stealing
halloween candy from
the back pocket
of saint nick
who was out
sending joy to
the world while
his crew was
having a party
and not caring
who saw them
in the buff
while parading down
the main drag
of 5th ave
in the popemobile
made from American
stain free fabric
from the seventies
WITH shag carpets
for a comfortable
squishy foot feeling
in spilled DNA :eek2: :eek2: :D :D :smilielol:
that provided grip :icon_smile_big:
not to slip
in the bathtub
and shower with
a rubber ducky
that's so cute
you never wanted
to part with
leave it alone
to be miserable
with all the
shit that's going
at the apartment
of Coco Chanel
no 5 with
a bald anchorman
telling lies about
the weather for
sunday afternoon's picnic
and car show
where only the
rich show off
all their bling
with mirrors and
lights, but no
shag carpet to
lay on with
the baywatch babes
beating at the
heart felt beauty
parlour for help
on deciding which
hair colour would
make my day
if she smiled
because of my
manhood is desperate
in need of
a pick me-up
cup of tea
to soak it
up while relaxing
the left one
in the palm
oil softening gel
used for massaging
rough dry skin
into baby smooth
youthful complexions that
feels like a
piece of sandpaper
that's needs better
lotion and massaging
to perfect the
youthful complexions that
only comes from
rubbing really hard
glossing the finish
and polishing the
deep luster into
that hairy mole
that lives on
the mountain with
his other relatives
in from the
mole hill over
good morning :wave:
on the other
:wave: afternoon :yesnod: 1:20 pm
trash heap by
9:25 pm here
the old washing
basin that was
Good evening :cheers: 10:28 pm sunday
filled with dirty
talk down to
:cheers:
the little people
and they'll give
maxim forum rules
tattooed inside his
eyelids so he
can give all
his wet dreams
a going over
before he does
spoof all over
his PC surfing
the net for
people to argue
with while pretending
to know everything
better than anyone
in his world
are we still
arguing with maxim
yes that was
the joker you
were frying last
night before bed
and the day
of the reckoning
is coming to
before the game
is given away
and the secret
is out you
down the pub?
Where's the pub?
down the corner
near the disco
where Saturday night
all the queens
and their kings
dance to Bollywood
down by the
good night :wave:
disco ball for
:wave: good night
a soccer match
:wave:
in shinny shoes
given to them
specially for the
all their good
use of a
dictionary to help
not use spellcheck
which doesn't always
work as typing
can be difficult
for Pegleg Pete
cause termites have
eaten his pointer
to a stub
and his leg
was left crooked
which caused a
bow legged walk
with a lean
on his left
or his starboard
side, that sprung
back into place
so all is
back to normal
and they all
went back to
living boring lives
tending to the
sheep out back
of the jumper
ramps over the
thirty school buses
and the twenty
cheer leaders that
wave their pom-poms
and show their
pretty smiles at
everyone but one
had nothing but
angry glares for
those that ignored
her advances earlier
because they'd rather
have drinks with
the prime minister
magret bloody thatcher
who patches roofs
while chewing off
pieces of jerkey
to use as
strapping for the
bent left leg
and the sore
on her bum
from too much
bare back riding :icon_smile_big:
in the nude
are you talking horse or her? :icon_smile_big:
on sunny days
I was leaving that up to the individual :icon_smile_big:
before the rain
cools things down
leaving saddle sores
exposed to the
dismay of onlookers
who bore the
scars of childbirth
that happened many
times over because
of the party
goers that didn't
use any kind
of coloured balloons
that didn't fit
through the keyhole
of the door
to the dungeon
in the basement
that houses all
of the mice
and torture tools
that was used
just for fun
to scare away
the mean monsters
that live under
the stairs by
the basement doorway
that was locked
some of the
time so that
stray children would
not be tempted
in to often
WAITING FOR SUNRISE
PROOF SURVIVED T DAWN.
CLOUDS-RAIN -SUNRISE ?? ?? ?? ??? ???
P[LEASE COME OUT TADAY :P :-\ :-\ :icon_smile_question:
the weather is
rainy here in
Seattle, but sunny
probably in Australia
where its sunny
all year round
except when raining ;D
cats and dogs
in the southern
lands of oz
lunch break over for me...have a good day.
where it is
:wave: i'm off to work to , have a good one
cloudy with a
twist of lime
ade served with
ice cubes to
satisfy the oncoming
ship called Titanic
before it departed
to meet it's
sister ship Britannic
to discuss whether
to go to
the seminar about
whether or not
it's safe to
sail to America
with Tiny Tim
and Anastasia to
the new world
where dinosaurs roam
freely with bison
to the detriment
of ground hogs
and rattlesnake burrows
who had constant
constipation because they
ate cheese after
it was wrapped
in thick bacon
You changed it on me :lol:
washed down with
a Darwin stubby.
sorry, if the bloody pc/site wasn't so slow, it wouldn't have been a problem.
After the luncheon
:cheers:
with the swagman
Puff the magic
bunyip who lost
his way to
communicate with strangers
so now writes
on toilet paper
in Sanskrit because
he has forgotten
he can't see
in the dark
nor in daylight
without his trusted
all seeing eye
seeing dog named
patches because he wears a
sweater that looks
out of place
with a patch
of green grass
stain on his
upper lip because
he chewed like
an old cow
chewing its cud
before spitting it
in the brass
spittoon left behind
from the last
big spit up
got to go :wave:
from the bad
:wave:
weed that was
grown hydroponically and
medically approved for
weaving into a
doobie hair piece
that any proud
parent would adore
upon the head
waiter in Jamaica
who was serving
a 5 year
family reunion that
looked alot like
a life sentence
of misfit dwarves
hi-hoing their way
to the store
to buy some
Green Giant canned
olives without pits
to put on
the heads of
the missing ducks
so that Jim
would be happy
now that he's
sharing the vibrating
joy of their
leather couch which
was stained with
bear poo after it sat
down without wiping
outside airing out
Jims personal odour
thats kinda personal?
so the bear
doesn't sh!t in
house anymore nowadays
because the tip
see pic #6477
has a shock calur
and don't do
it justice unless
its rear is
against the wall
covering that spot
of bear poo
smeared on the
fancy shmancy drapes
made of cotton
softer than charmin
ultra soft that
makes you enjoy
every single wipe
what a load
of crap to
to remove by
a dump truck
with 10 tons
maximum hauling capacity
leaving you recoiling
from the smell
of burnt rubber
from slipping belts
that don't hold
his pants up
like braces do
when depended on
to hold that
pile of crap
in the seat
of humanity and
it's running down
his hairy leg
into his shallow
slipper made of
soft deer hide
with a sole
missing half of
half his teeth
from biting on
a toffee aple
so hard that
the worm couldn't
come up for
a breath of
fresh air because
the toffee smothered
the breathing hole
leaving him woosy
and rather blue
as he attempted
work his way
eating through toffee
acquiring a sugar
addiction which led
to chronic diabetes
and the need
to amputate his
tail and half
of his left
eyeball which left
him blinded by
his unexpected attack
what the hellllllooooooooo??????????????????????????????????????
that conspired to
use their pincers
and that smell
to scare off
the bumble bees
that bumbled around
like bumbling fools
that were mildly
intoxicated from to
distilled nectar fumes
that filled the
empty jar with
sticky bee drool
laced with honey
and an unidentified
perfumed substance that
could kill fleas
with a hallucinogenic
compound meant for
that made them
think they were
swimming on the
upper deck of
the queen mary
before it sank
I know, it never did
into the quagmire
that isn't yet
set up solid
but will do
as somewhere to
bury body parts
taken from the
overflowing city morgue
who had leftovers
from an all-night
take-away that couldn't
keep up with
the marathon runners
that trained for
the high jumps
and high dives
in order to
make it to
the October fest
that was in
over it's head
and was drowning
in wine from
three days ago
because the beer
are you watching the footy?
went stale from
being shook up
footy ? :shruggy:
with the vibrator
wedged firmly up
the down pipe
so that no
other goodies made
it through and
spoiled the other
side by spraying
bug repellent from
from a cropduster
flying too low
just before it
crashed and burned
manly won
and nothing was
ever seen again
by the little
red hen or
these little piggy'sss
ever again which
saddened the crowd
so they left
disappointed and confused
for the coast
where the pirates
held everyone captive
left behind to
count the coins
scattered all over
the wet sand
and sea weed
by the storm
of the century
yesterday at noon
winds reaching 150
and waves like
a six story
building crashing into
a little row
of fishing shacks
along the coast
till there was
nothing left by
late afternoon and
the high winds
blew in sharks
fins and whale
blubber so everyone
danced around the
beach while it
sent up a
signal to let
everyone know its
dinner time by
the sweet smell
of rotting flesh
and bbq rips
from the whale
with cooked greens
and a glass
of seal milk
to make cheese
curd topped off
with sea salt
from whale guts
which had been
freeze dried by
the north wind
of Yukon territory
and then ground
into sausage for
that unique taste
called tropical delight
which the natives
turned their noses
into for a
for a quick
sniff of the
wind to find
who's wearing cologne
that smells like
musk bubble gum
that was left
in the field
with 100's of
pigmies running wild
chasing after all
the little bushmen
that liked to
dance the jig
around a bonfire
wearing only a
a white hood
and robe while
waiting for the
fire to die
in order to
start the BBQ
ribs that were
covered with sauce
so scrumptious that
they melted in
the sun because
someone started licking
them too fast
causing friction and
producing enough heat
to cause global
warming bordering on
I might quit soon, my internet keeps dropping out and it's driving me crazy!
too hot and
very hot for
a snowball fight
with Frosty the
snow woman dressed
in a pink
g string over
an s bend
covering snow balls
with grated cocnut
and marshmallow centers
for a sweet
delicious treat for
those that don't
care for snocones
or snowball floats
that sank after
the titanic in
a way never
seen before by
raging albino trolls
living in the
outskirts of a
burnt out car
in Timbuktu beyond
wizard of Oz
ability to give
a lion courage
so they went
looking for a
budhist monk that
knew how to
make bread with
his left foot
and wine with
monkey grapes and
coconuts so that
it could have
they could have
one weird brew
to drink while
doing weird things
like perverts doing :D
weird things to
animals that should
be available later
to round up
the long day
to bbq with
well tenderised meat :D
from the zombie
butchery down the
by the grill
and zombie bar
where drinks are
guaranteed to contain
some body juice
for a nice
hazy hangover cure
cause you can't
work in that
confined space for
prolonged periods of
eight hours at
.03 per hour
for pennies a
day so that
we can buy
a piece of
bread and a
some penny candy
but that's it
no toys or
soda pop or
grape bubble gum
just bread and
water for your
stay in the
heartbreak hotel in
down town north
of the big
zombie headquarters housing
district filled with
well wishers to
celebrate the coming
of the one
eyed purple people
and their guests
to the potluck
including zombie stew
made by the
witch doctors of
the bad boys
because they were
naughty and not
paying attention to
what they were
doing so they
fell down a
mineshaft at cooberpedy
full of opals
and brown snakes
After being left
unattended while lunch
was served above
the cliff overlooking
the cooberpedy mines
where they found
opals and snakes
, lots of snakes
And lying Mayans
ready to behead
the first born
of every dissenter
in order to
take command over
the cooberpedy opal
mine owned by
the old guy
down the street
The opal is my birthstone...could you send me a couple?! :yesnod:
by the supermarket
next to the
pizza hut restaurant
, best pizzeria in
stiff pecker point
named for its
stiff peckerless point
West of town
near the saloon
where your pecker
was rated by
the eldest lady
with experience in
precise pecker evaluations
measured by a
crooked yard stick
shaped like a
extra long finger
so pointed that
way as the
exam went well
and all passed
the cough test
but the squat
left a mess
for someone to
mop it up
the next day
before someone slips
down the stairs
onto the floor
where the dog
happily licked his
hind quarters before
licking your face
and you enjoyed
it very much
with the attention
until you realized
what was on
the big screen
showing how the
homeless people survive
a sunny day
on the beach
With no lotion
Darn. Almost read 100,000 times :o
leaving themselves exposed
Think we can get it there tonight?
to uv rays
and sand crabs
which are worse
than any other
pest known to
walk this earth
in search of
food to take
back home for
the little critters
morning breakfast cereal
that they ate
starbucks with coffee
with lemon cake
to celebrate the
freedom from the
cooking pot which
held their family
coat of arms
older than medieval
tools of torture
so horrible that
the fainthearted fainted
and landed in
the river below
the hill near
the much loved
lady Beth's tombstone
which was decaying
from people rubbing
up against it
to make a
wish and hope
for good fortune
before it disintegrates
and lost to
all future generations
to come and
those of old
only just remember
Lady Beth's tombstone
which was decaying
from lack of
attention and maintenance
because you was
locked up for
drinking and driving
a mump thump
that humped a
dog dumped by
someone allergic to
pigs with lipstick
in various shades
so the owner
could set up
a parade to
show of his
dancing little ladies
to the rest
of the cows
flying home for
a family reunion
except for Cousin
maxim was arguing
and missed the
train because he
dismissed the conductor
so he could
annoy the passengers
stranded in the
silent car by
making them listen
to his smart
phone which played
the same annoying
know it all
piece of muzak
as repetitious as
a centipedes' march
down a pipe
up the back
to the beat
of a different
stroke that was
unbalanced from a
gust of wind
coming from the
cold Southern shore
of gitchi gumee
where all the
people wear a
itty bitty, teeny
weeny yellow pockadot
bikini that was
way to small
to cover her
bush because she
was thatched like
a sage brush
in spring so
thick that it
burst the seams
in the crotch
ready for action
sprinting to the
finish line ahead
of all others
to claim the
prized gold medal
and walk the
flimsy red carpet
down the steep stairs to
Utopia
you stole two of my words. :lol:
at midnite under
my mistate, can't count
the yumyum tree
I muddled with the 3 and 5 words all the time.
where I fell
me too
and hit my
head on some
yum yum nuts
that knocked me
for a sixer
where I dreamed
and scattered nuts
throughout the countryside
playing my tambourine
and dancing with
the flower people
after a smoke
of the peacepipe
in the teepee
with the real
holy chieftain of
wizard of oz
went stir crazy
from hydro sh*t
sprayed all over
the inside of
the dungeon under
the back shed
where naked bodies
were being dressed
to act in
a Shakespearean play
of Othello and
Moore of Venice
California who was
playing doctors outside
on muscle beach
instead of working
on his scheme
to rob the
gang of their
left socks for
stashing their marbles
and toe jam
to enjoy later
while they played
Twister with the
the lady monkeys
who easily won
with their long
johns pulled down
below their knees
stopping them from
lifting their legs
off of the
other monkeys bodies
making the game
impossible to play
with wet poo
smeared everywhere on
canvas to hang
in the national
museum to show
classic monkey poo
artwork in monochrome
to other monkeys
before the auction
for art collectors
from around the
other side of
the moon where
all the paint
was hiding from
little green men
coming up through
the magic lamp
being rubbed by
the monkeys' uncle
while wishing for
an end to
the boring play
play of words
displayed by cheerleaders
that didn't move
unless someone pinched
or jabbed them
in their ribs
while humping a
mump thumping down
the dark road
on the bunny
's furry back ;D
and long ears
before letting it
slide to a
3rd baseman that
rubbed his rabbit's
bits for luck
against the other
wet duck muk
that he kept
in his pocket
so his hands
smelt like poo
and stuck like
clay on a
stinking hot day
left in the
kiln too long
and sagged like
a limp pecker
after sunday services
was searching for those words myself......couldn't quite find them.
dreaming about wet
suits with scuba
tanks and weight
was thinking Salvador Dali my self
for some deep sea diving
what's he got to do with the price of eggs?
in the wet
his paintings
lands where crocs
I know who he is but what's he got to do with anything? I'm missing something. I aslo got my 3 and 5 word games mixed up again.
it's ok, I'm with you now.............LIMP things
yes post 7099
ate the huge
watermelon all by
itself giving him
a sore toe
nail without polish
causing it to
tarnish terribly and
draw attention to
the other boys
who wear blue
daisy duke shorts
with white bobby
socks worn up
to the knees
in quick sand
too hot to
struggling for a
walk in the
garden of babylon
looking at the
trellises of ivy
and hanging flowers
and ancient aqueducts
dripping water slowly
crumbling to the
dandelion weeds below
the dam that
filled to quickly
running over the
ant hill that
where they belong
really is at
the trash heap
left from the
monkeys playing with
packages of oreos
crumbled all over
the chocolate pudding
with maggots roaming
through the hallways
that have been
cleaned by the
old housekeeper but
she missed a
spot on the
tile by the
oh so comfy
divan that was
next to the
really good chair
that clashed with
the hanging drapes
but was so
ugly that they
badly burnt them
in the monkeys
cage so the
left over trash
was scattered all
around their beds
and under their
arms so they
could run away
crying to mommy
that johnnie hit
mary in the
outer limits of
I can't believe I've missed a whole page!
space and time
where weightlessness weighs
the same but
Weightlessness in space is just an illusion. Everything just happens to fall at the same rate, creating that illusion.
so sleeping on
I see you come well educated.
a bed of
I enjoy science and watched the Discovery channel as often as I could when they had educational programming on. Now they went to reality tv :brickwall:
cotton wool could
prevent the agony
of aching bones
and sore muscles
from too much
turning butter for
spreading on bread
toasted light brown
ready for breakfast
club to show
on late night
TV with nothing
but infomercials to
interrupt the fun
and make you pull your hair out
and your eyes
Have we switched to 6 words now? :smilielol:
to bleed bad
causing a really
funny view of
my back side
from the front
door of the
house across town
that has no
front door to
shut out the
hello? :scope:
prying eyes of
Hello
the praying mantis
oh there you are.
that hid in
Reading other threads
the vestibule leading
away to the
bottom of the
barrel that's filled
with black powder
and lead shot
coated with copper
to make them
irresistible to thieves
who just happen
along uninvited and
cause disruption at
the five and dime
before moving onto
the top of
I've got to go now. Take it easy.
the mountain where
Catchya later :wave:
they fell off
:wave:
the dark side
of the moon
pie, that melted
when the sun
shined through the
kitchen bay window
before a duck
plucked a piece
into the window
leaving duck muk
all over it
so thick that
no light penetrated
the green slime
nor could Windex
without a putty
knife and lots
of elbow grease
that's in short
supply due to
budget cuts and
govt. shutdown by
no one agreeing
and holding America
by the balls
and loving it
cause they can
and no one
can get them
to listen to
country music or
dance to rap
sung by chipmunks
in the early
hours of the
night where they
danced in drag
and begging for
pictures with Big
bubba next to
Ronald McDonald at
Wendy's wearing only
a soft serve
sprinkled with extra
hot fudge sauce
that covered the
frozen cherry yogurt
spilled on her
loosely fitting top
that showed her
belly button piercing
but not her
chain hanging down
around her waist
with charms dangling
and jangling around
like belly dancers
learning the twist
and shout while
on acid so
some words were
on the horizon
where birds fly
under the radar
and only spotted
dick for dinner
when he showed
up unexpectedly without
any Twisty's or
his tweed trousers
but wearing boxers
so as not
to excite the
puss in boots
but to entertain
the masses as
a clown not
needed any where
so he went
near a party
at Fred's place
but was driven
to the wrong
side of town
because nobody wanted
where the clowns
lived to be
independent from the
fairies and pixies
who decorate for
war with clownkind
by first starting
campfires to dance
and cook their
multi coloured captives
to a crisp
then season with
plenty of wasabi
and Worchester sauce
for the marinade
so that it
melts in your
hand, leaving a
stain that can't
be seen by
your dear mother
who lost her
virginity at age
83 but didn't
realise it until
uncle dad said
who am I?
momma then said?
I don't know
what you did
before we met
under the stairs
yesterday at 3
minutes to nine
ball while playing
hide and seek
in the caves
under the hill
they skied with
cut up tires
attached to polarbears
with a Coke
habit to rival
before going in
head first without
any breathing aparatus
on his nose
was so overcome
by the stench
of a rotten
leg of lamb
that was zombifyed
by the huge
tidal wave that
hit the side
of his head
causing him to
see stars in
in dancing with
great enthusiasm because
stares were his
escape from reality
where he could
write a book
to tell all
about DC.com stories
totally without permission
and throwing everyone
into a panic
about revealed identities
and crimes commited
in misspent youth
long ago by
the dark of
the red moon
glowing in the
low mist from
the water closet
after flushing the
sand out of
her shorts which
stuck to her
sun tan lotion
as she slid
and slithered along
the wet floor
to cool down
from all of
hussle and bussle
going through her
tiny little mind
just before her
mom slapped some
money in front
of her and
ask her to
spend it wisely
when she moves
up a notch
by dressing classy
for her evening
elocution lessons at
the local honky
tonk club by
maxim, who considers
everyone beneath him
the water line
and therefore dismissed
anyone opinion on
anything at anytime
BUT NOT HERE
or anywhere else
for that matter
does not apply
to those less
fortunate not to
have known him
or remember what
was said by
his close friends
which was not
worthy of repeating
by anyone. Since
all he said
was forgotten, Lucy
was looking for
prostrate examination gloves
before positioning herself
below the protruding
tree root where
she could watch
both apples drop
to the ground
as a test
of gravitational physics
by the famous
doppelganger gang experimenting
with what goes
up and down
that hits the
nail on the
head with a
lttle rubber hammer
doing no harm
to the tiny
little fleas hopping
on the monkeys
where they can
dance freely alone
and without being
spanked by those
who don't like
the non attention
a sleeping monkey
can enjoy from
anyone with its
loose pet wandering
aimlessly down the
walking path by
leaping with joy
this Christmas because
Santa remembered to
kiss Mrs. Claus
where it counts
at Christmas time
under the hanging
Christmas stocking stuffed
with apples and
chunks of coal
what is that?
because an elf
went rabid and
threw the naughty
slutty girl elf
onto her back
under the tree
checking for chipmunks
that strayed into
the path of
the oncoming reindeer
pulling a sleigh
with drum brakes
and bias ply
radials on all
3 wheels while
its seat was
occupied by a
red nosed reindeer
who didn't play
canasta or poker
because the other
reindeer would play
snap without him
leaving him stuck
talking to himself
while the elves
cleaned his infected
knee where he
fell down and
licked a lollipop
flavored like cherry
but smelled like
dirty rotten socks
his favourite flavour
that mommy only
could get at
the local gym
dressed in Daisy
duke shorts so
other gym goers
didn't mistake her
as Cindy or
Loretta Lynn because
am not picky
just itchy from
total lack of
washing without soap
or any sort
of cleaner to
remove the debris
left by the
previous tenant that
his left nipple
was sore because
changing posts rubbed
the hair off
her under arms
and removed part
of her bikini
wax that was
stuck in her
fish net stockings
and thick thatch
roof of English
pubic hair that
burnt to cinder
while blowing blue
balloons for the
cheap thrills and
spills a rollercoaster
ride right from
left lift up
her skirt and
pulled her wet
wooly jumper over
her huge head
with red hair
and freckles everywhere
but mean as
a cut snake
up through the
masses of swarming
hornets ready to
got to go have something to eat.............didn't have any lunch
bite the hand
:wave:
that shook the
Have a bite for me :cheers:
residence of Pompei
and covered them
in Etna's ash
from her funeral
pyre when wind
rotated into a
tornado blowing it
all over the
faces of mourners
as they took
a big breath
before heading to
the free buffet
that served only
chargrilled spare ribs
cooked 7 days
and seven nights
so they were
hard as bricks
and taste like
my mums cooking
before she learnt
about take out
and how easy
the golden arches
screwed orders up
all the time
it took them
to make it
without extra pickles
and added onions
to the wrong
hamburger or big
order of fries
and diet Coke
was flowing out
the broken cup
onto the floor
making a mess
and sticking shoes
with high heels
firmly to the
very dirty rugs
needing urgent attention
but put off
by the smell
of lunch cooking
in the dutch
town of Rotterdam
hash brownies anyone
that could stand
up without falling
in love with
the three wisemen
who first tried
asking the nuns
where the brownies
and boy scouts
share cookies without
leaving crumbs behind
for the mice
with banana flavouring
dipped in coconut
milk for a
low calorie diet
for anyone interested
to feel the
pinch of starvation
by not eating
M&M's or any
other chocolate treat
without the goodness
whole cream milk
from a cow
boy riding his
miniature pony up
to the water
hole where other
cowgirls were swimming
with their miniature
skirts dangling by
the way side
revealing their naked
heads after shaving
for a good
hour before realising
their was no
party tonight and
no more Dimple
because poly finished
the last drop
all by himself
without letting us
know, so now
he's buying the
cheaper stuff for
the in laws
and his mates
that stay too
long over there
where's poly?
and eat all
Looking for a cracker? :slap:
the cheese and
the nibbles without
:lol: gone to pot!
leaving any for
the birds that
keep your fists in your pockets
wander close by
Can I keep them in hers?
the mean scarecrow
dressed in fine
well as long as it doesn't hurt.
silk from south
Dakota while others
wore nothing but
g strings without
strings to tie
into a knot
therefore losing straw
berries down in
the thorny bushes
around the base
of the elm
tree on the
:wave: off to work
little big mountain
have a good day
far from the
Play hooky instead :D
last stand of
the 300 Greeks
that the Spartans
palled around with
Actually, I think the 300 Spartans was in the last stand.
around the maypole
that's right
for a dance
before facing off
for a game
of chinese checkers
that ended in
a huff because
one side was
shorter than the
the table and
the chair wouldn't
work due to
the legs being
knocked off it
by someone leaning
the chair back
with total disregard
for others property
with which to
start an argument
about nothing at
the drop of
a hat because
of an edgy
and very moody
female with pms
that she takes
Viagra instead of
a glass of
cold sweet wine
that could of
been from Lucy's
cellar does it
have a vintage
or is it
new old stock
that should set
new price highs
unwelcome to winos
with empty pockets
and matching bottles
of elixir to
make their day
worse than ever
weather has changed for the worse here today..........very wet and only 12*.
because now they
started blowing about half an hour ago now VERY windy ,loosing the foxtell :yesnod:
are seeing things
The Mrs. has lit the fire. Can't believe we were sitting out yesterday enjoying a gorgeous day.
that was there
and now gone
back to bed
with no thought
of sugar plums
or any plums
but, only prunes
will flush out
all the pipes
leaving them squeaky
and needing lubrication
to improve the
lateral torsion rigidity
that comes with
axial precision magnatude
and all the
popcorn you can
throw around the
school cafeteria right
after target practise
for the dodgeball
extravaganza taking place
at the local
county jail after
someone got hit
in the eye
with a pea
and it wasn't
a eatable vegetable
but a yellow
berry harvested yesterday
and just looked
and frozen until
heated over a
it turned blue
candle in the
wind with the
shield removed for
for fresh air
are you watching Bathurst?
and better access
no only got fox and the wind is making it frustrating
that was polluted
No, I'm not. I'm watching the Green Hornet.
beyond repair
taped it last night will watch it tonight You wouldn't have Bathurst showing over there would you?
by candle smoke
Bathurst (the great race/tin tops ) :yesnod: would be watching it if I could
from the burnt
untrimmed wick of
the oil lamp
that was broken
It's not on that I'm aware of
and smoking badly
after being knocked
Are you not home?
to the floor
Off the table
It's not on here.
with the wobbly
legs for tipping
cows and waitresses
and still maintaning
an upright stance
standing with one
even after falling
all the way
down the cascade
they still were
in one piece
and ready for
a night out
under the stars
with the girlfriend
of mad max
without him knowing
that she is
mick jagger in
drag dressed with
a poodle skirt
and high heels
that broke on
contact with the
cattle crossing while
Lucy Goosey and
and her friends
laughed out loud
at the Big
Posting too fast :slap:
top where animals
what a joke my post a comatose
laugh at the
I'm the one posting too fast. I got that 15 second message :icon_smile_big:
crows flying south
I know that's what you meant. I just mean that I can take power naps between my posts.
at the start of fall
You snooze, you lose ;)
season
you don't snooze, you lose too :rofl:
I got my games mixed up now. I thought I was in 5 word. :lol:
while the others
played spin the
bottle to see
happens to me all the time
who pulls the
me too, but i'm old
pin on the
grenade while partying
at the kremlin
playing Russian roulette
with the Marx
Brothers clowning around
red square so
others can get
the perfect pic
of the Kremlin
at sunrise with
the brothers dancing
in the background
of the rain-soaked
umbrellas that collapsed
drenching to the
wait of the
water cannons aimed
at non conformists
Drinking Vodka straight
and drinking until
The bottles emptied
and the bell
bottom jeans worn
last time you
went to the
bottom of the
forgotten closet that
hasn't opened since
the password was
changed in 1967
but wasn't written
a book at
any given time
because of the
bad weather outside
with winds reaching
around the corners
of the box
lifting the lid
of the loo
to new heights
and new frontiers
where digging holes
for burying gold
is now passé
Got to go, Sleepy Hollow is starting.
on with the
:wave:
show we must
:wave:
go to enjoy
The magic carpet
ride behind the
the barn out
and roll her
up in a
oversized taco shell...
to eat later
on I will
wait for wife
to please me
Just like yesterday
but with more
sprinkles on top
of the world
that extend to
make it easier
for the next
door neighbour to
float down the
mighty Mississippi wearing
a coon skin
bathing cap with
a superman cape
that didn't fit
an adult or
an octopus because
a hawk took
off with it
and rescued a
damsel in distress
from a big
dodo bird that
was going to
come back from
the haunted house
whit the sh*t
about to hit
the ceiling fan
, the witches flew
the coop without
getting caught in the crossfire
between the two
jack o lanterns.
to be lit
with a lighter
and a can
of starter fluid
that is empty
so hair spray
was used diligently
until the wife
's hair looked like
like Andy Warhol's
do that everyone
monkey see monkey
can't believe his
own painting with
a straw or
wet poo from
the sand pit
caused by a
turtle that burried
deep in the
swamps of Louisiana
for duck dynasty
eggs that taste
better with bacon
than without because
covers up the
badly decaying odour
of dying mice
that the cat
dragged in from
under the cupboard
where tom was
peeping through a
keyhole at the
playboys mansion with
no one there :brickwall: :lol:
but the old
geezer with a
hangover from the
party the night
away generation who
haven't sobered up
live like they're
still in 1983
and live life
like theres no
money left for
extra party supplies
or extra booze
:wave: :wave: :wave: :sleep: :sleep: :sleep:
so they just
:wave: night
counted their blessings
and went to
the nearest cemetery
Halloween grave party
that happens every
Third Tuesday of the month
Quote from: Fred on October 15, 2013, 05:33:48 PM
Third Tuesday of
/this is the 3 word game. :slap: :lol:
the month of
October when hell
sorry :slap: don't know what I was thinking.
thaws out and
:cheers: :cheers: :cheers:
then freezes over
when someone opened
a freeze pop
Six feet under
while texting their
Great great grandfather
who's haunting the
cemetery on the
outskirts of town
and raising his
bones for everyone to see
through :icon_smile_big:
the loose dirt
whoops :lol:
that fell in
on top of
his rotting coffin
made of cardboard
with pictures inside
of naked ladies
for the afterlife
and has awaken
the zombies next
to him and
his ex-girlfriends
are scared shitless
and lost their
way back home
in the woods
and stop at
a dead end
with red eyes
from crying and
running like dead
to the world
from dreaming of
falling without stopping
by the wayside
to take a
photo to say
I was here
in not so
many words as
to give away
the place or
time of day
so no one
could be bothered
to find the
key to unlock
the front door
or the gates
of hell to
release all the
hounds and the
zombie racing team
looking for some
pit crew krackens
to wrench on
nuts and bolts
while cleaning windows
with their tongues
hanging out of
their gapping maw
and dripping with
leftovers from last
nights supper of
clams and cheese
And pigs butt
with grits on
toast for lunch
on special occasions
but only on
Halloween at midnight
just before the
black cat crosses
out the mistakes
of the superstitious
mice that followed
the trick-or-treaters home
not knowing that
they were heading
into a trap
door to the
play room underneath
where the kids
kept the rack
of bbq ribs
all for themselves
to enjoy without
any adult supervision
watching over them
or telling them
to behave themselves
while they ate
their ribs slathered
in hot sauce
bringing tears to
the eyes of
those who consumed
more than the
ones with dripping
noses and runny
eyes from the
power of pepper
hot sauce refined
over centuries to
to accommodate connoisseurs
of all things
bright and beautiful
and neon orange
which is popular
in Uzbekistan where
The cows meow
and horses bark
when made to
talk by having
peanut butter spread
for some lubrication
on their feet
for Appalachian clogging
around the trails
and through the
woods to grandma's
house we go
to have lunch
before clogging back
down the Appalachian
trail and up
around the bend
where hitchhiking is
permitted on Tuesdays
and full moon
is shown to
all passing cars
when horns are
blown in protest
at the poor
condition of roads
that they made
when only bicycles
could convey their
passenger and cargo
across the desert
of hot endless
sand dunes blowing
relentlessly towards the
mirage you see
over the dune
buggy race track
slightly to the
palm trees overlooking
shady hollow inn
where the elite
of the amateur
hour play every
Friday night for
dinner and dimple :icon_smile_big:
so everyone has
:cheers:
a blurred memory
of the party
and who they
rode home with
the night before
the very big
bang that was
a balloon busting
beside a megaphone
that left everyone
running to the
restroom to change
before the big
shindig that night
called "Zombie eats
and drinks" BYOG
and plan to
have tissues with
with 3 ply
for safe wiping
of the big
hairy bare bum
asleep in the
Roth Newton recliner
in the corner
of the room
in the shade
holding a beer
with his feet
while sipping with
a long straw
until suddenly a
blockage causes concern
there's a bug
in his soup
her calli fragilistic
expialadocious ran away
and won't come
ZipADeeDooDahing back tomorrow
or the next
40 years due
dah diddy dumb
ass rhymes are
causing some confusion
among the rhythmically
readers reading this
while still asleep
dreaming about the
great day ahead
called the weekend
when everyone has
enough time to
make horseradish for
some nice relish
for their big
succulent Rueben sandwich
to eat latter
when everything settles
after the long
hard night of
tossing and turning
because of a
hard day's work
from the neighbor
mowing their lawn
with an unmuffled
goat eating the
petunias from the
flower beds by
the bedroom window
adorned with blue
window sills and
pink pocka dotted
curtains with matching
buttons and bows
ribbons and curls
ruffles and flounces
stuff and nonsense
that should be
in the hope
someone finds a
winning lottery ticket
and donates some
old rags to
clean up after
the tsunami hit
the nearby lakeside
sending picnic tables
up on rooftops
and rooftops down
click click click
went her heels
hoping to go
to a corroberee
with crock Dundee
and his pet
frilled neck lizard
clinging to his
grey rubber thingy
so as to
save me from
awoken mummies and
scary fluffy things
that bump into
each other in
a labyrinth made
of cotton candy
left over from
last years show
that featured burlesque
acts from all
parts of the
nation competing for
more of the
attentions of men
for those that
weren't getting enough
from their wives
and want to
get sum sleep
before the next
time you try
playing with puppets
with large furry
tails that wag
very, very fast
making it hard
to stick your
-self to it
unless you use
extra large staples
and construction adhesive
and duck tape
instead of feathers
that are bright
an very light
but weigh a
Bit more today
then it did
after eating dinner
at an all-night
bus shelter before
Grounded ducks and
passing out under
the rotary hoe
that scattered dirt
leaving nothing but
shredded parts everywhere
for the janitor
to puke over
while sweeping it
under the carpet
to hide it
Next to the
box of rocks
that were actually
skip's meteor shards
that contained marbles
And fractured diamonds
of all sizes
that had to
be measured up
and separated before
they caused trouble
and sent to
down town Detroit
to be catalogued
and then cleaned
with a nice
simple brite polish
and buffed to
a very nice
patina so that
it's worth a
second look at
8 am, and
went back to
check on the
money making machine
to see if
it still worked
because it would
make funny noises
like flatulence, and
then exploded, showering
5 cent coins every where
while the hundred dollar bills
go in the :slap:
safety deposit box
kept under the
mattress in his
old, decrepit bedroom
that's in need
of some sloppy
haphazzard repair work
performed by chain
mail cladded knights
and their squires
with plenty of
holes in their
socks to let
water out or
fresh air in
to freshen the
staleness of this
old sock monkey
business with paddles
and golf balls
they collected while
searching for crows
that wore tuxedos
those are magpies
watching the monkeys
pluck the chooks
for the summer
harvest, before winter
sets its icy
tentacles into your
movie popcorn covered
in a sugary
cheesy flavor that
made everyone puke
getting rid of
half the audience
the other half
remained to clean
and really polish
the silverware because
nothing sticks to
the side of
the porcelain bowl
quicker than the
very explosive discharges
that exit at
the hind end
of the express
train before going
into the tunnel
that loopty looped
like a rollercaoster
before going around
the outside like
they do in
a traffic jam
during rush hour
which can cause
a devastating flood
of crying babies
and menstrual woman
hanging onto their
supply of mothers
precious breast milk
that was running
at full throttle
before smashing into
a maneating triffid
that mistaken them
and therefor left
the scene of
the horrific accident
before the police
arrived therefore avoiding
a traffic violation
and a big
snow cone from
the Swiss alps
dark chocolate factory
that was out
of electricity, which
dribbled out a
cascade of thick
chocolate syrup tidal
wave where surfers
wished they had
breathing apparatus handy
because of the
lack of air under water
and no gills
that turn green
ish blue with pink
polka dots and
shoe string straps
that light up
the eyes of
a stray cat
caught in the
act. Afterwards, they
got him boots
to put on
and a sword
fish for dinner
after which they
went for a
squirt out back
behind the barn
to make room
Geez, I just read the bullsheet thread all over again. Doesn't make that much sense without the please help thread as. In fact, it probably ever only made sense to the 4 of us (I include nvrbdn )
for the bonfire
Like I said in the hijack thread, you have to read both at the same time to get the full effect of the situation. I wonder if Skip is ready to walk the lizard?
on the hill
when I read it you only had the one link up. re skips lizard...........I didn't know he had one.
side, which later
He doesn't that I know of. It was part of the threads. I'm still reading the help thread.
Quote from: stroker400 wedge on October 31, 2013, 01:31:49 AM
side, which later
He doesn't that I know of. It was part of the threads. I'm still reading the help thread.
I was joking but I don't remember half of what was said in my thread. I might get stuck into it now.
became a mecca
for all things.
I'm trying to figure out where the monkeys came into play. Earliest thread I've found is the female body thread.
Never mind. I found out. It came from here..... http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,95248.25.html
great and beautiful
oh yeah, we were in the trenches and we were trying to save skip from the funny farm and we had animal crackers in our soup............it's slowly coming back to me.
That flourished for
I found it........ http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,95248.25.html
better or worse
not bad but that's not it. There were too many to count. should have made a note of them at the time.
for all to
That's the only thread I've found about monkeys with paddles. Maybe I've :brickwall: too many times. Or, maybe it's the popcorn :popcrn:
come and have
a nervous breakdown
it included the Marx brothers
for the 19th
hour when demons
turned into fairies
and fairies turned
on anyone close
to slap upside
the head with
a 2by4 board
that was later
used to build
a fancy garage
HALLOWEEN stripper PARTY
that lasted for
days but dehydration
and fricksion burns
caused the party
to sink low
in the water
till it hit
a rubber duck
and saved many
chocolate chip cookies
from becoming soggy
therefore, they could
be crumbled onto
ice-cream for desert
desserts for the
desert dwellers needing
delightful, delicate desserts
and spelling tuition
$#$%# spell check
in ancient arabic
:lol:
numerals that confused
Site got awfully slow loading up :scratchchin:
The cloistered nuns
Mine has stood still........thought it was just at my end again
that were playing
It took me 5 minutes to load up one page :brickwall: Now, it's back to normal. :shruggy:
Canasta with the
I'm switching my modem on and off to no avail
10 of diamonds
in high demand
for the winning
hand that composed
a song for
BOODDY-SHAKING STRIPPER BABES
anticipating a ride
to the mall
to purchase a
replacement thong for
his sagging polarfleece loin cloth
because he couldn't
help but show
up for lunch
I see I've messed up again thinking it's the 5 word game.
with his new
Don't worry about it :pity: :cheers:
that the world
would stand still
Now you know why I seldom play the 5 word game while also playing in the 3 word game. Keeps my head straight.
On Christmas day
The titles are too similar.........that's the trouble.
to bring peace
Wish I could fix it. But it's Skip's game.
and quiet when
I know. But you can change your title :scratchchin:
everyone is waiting
I didn't start the 5 word either. Someone else did
for Santa to
I think we established that in reply #8500..........it's the 3 word game I was just talking about. Just get rid of the "New" in front.
bring joy to
Time to go back to work. :smash: :smash: :smash:
all the elves
catchya later.
that didn't spike
a bit of confusion is good for you ,keeps you on your toes :yesnod:
the milk with
No, it just confuses me. :lol:
4 bottles of
laudanum to put
EVERYBODY to sleep
until next Christmas
in 2525 when
when Santa is
taking a rest
and boning up
Mrs Claus because
she was desperate
for some fun
on her bicycle
built for two
huge mo fo 's so it had
no room for
a side saddle
so, she rode
on the handlebars
which made steering
into her impossible :icon_smile_big:
unless the bike
was driven by
the rubber man
that was highly
flexible in just
one little spot
that wasn't that
sticky or gooey
but smelt funky
but was favored
Below the window
in the dark
Under the subfloor
hidden from the
light of day
so that mice
can have cheese
with that funky
music white boy
that was playing
with much gusto
but forgetting the
words didn't help
hold peoples attention
for very long
so, wanting their
lunch, they left
and crossed the
spot marked X
and instantly was
caught up in
excitement, and then
was transported to
that fun place.....
where building sandcastles
out of the
desert sands is
impossible as there
is no water
for the making
of fine beer
and deep fried
prawns and calamari.
rings with chips
Meanwhile, back at
the farm where
everybody was gathered
including the deer
and the antelope
played together and
had weird offspring
that could do
amazing things with
pipe cleaners and
other little things
that they hung
on the mantle
for safe keeping
and festive decorations
ready to be
hung with care
around each reindeer
dodging their kicks
after seeing stars
from one kick
with such precision
that it made
history world wide
"instant castration mastered "
to a tee
one kick and
they went flying
to land in
the botanical gardens
duck muck pond
and pounced on
frogs sitting upon
the wishing well
waiting to be
Skewered by a
Frenchman with a
need for legs
Wrapped around the
groin area of
French asthma affected
lungs that need
to catch their
Last glimpse of
cigarette smoke before
being lost for
All of yesterday
some where that
no-one thought to
clean so the
bishop offered to
bless him before
New growth started
sprouting on his
new 5th appendage
Continuously growing before
the nose of
Pinnochio as he
told too many
lies and pleased
only himself with
The castle jester
planted firmly on
the fist of
King Arthur himself
so that it
was impossible to
steal it away
Just in case
someone thought they
:wave:
might like to
:wave:
Place in the
competition for big
Hemi engines that
come in small
A body cars
and go really
fast compared to
some other brands
that should stay
in the parking
lot or put
a "for sale"
neon sign on
the big ugly
hood so that
the driver could
sell it quicker
and then buy
an inflatable raft
so they could
sail off into
Victoria Falls or
the wild blue
mountains in NSW
right next to
that lovely burnt
toast. So then
jam was needed
to cover the
lining of the
mouth so you
taste sweet when
your eating crap
straight out of
the big jar
of cat treats
while the cat
:puke: a hairball
as far away
from the plate
as is possible
Meanwhile back at
the okay corral
the sixshooters are
jamming and the
locals are running
for the hills
and striking gold
and fools gold
and nobody can
find the shovel
and pick so
small children were
asked to look
in the holes
made by moles
looking for a
nugget of gold
or even two
2 hunting dogs
with matching collars
but had different
wrist watches so
one could time
the others movements
to determine if
they were slacking
off to music
or were really
doing the rounds
chasing after little
critters trying to
escape from becoming
discovered by the
approaching trophy wives
in 6-inch heels
and matching purses
devoid of funds
for taxi fare
so settled instead
on rusty pushies
that fell apart
at the seams
causing them to
make a mess
in the kitchen
cleaning up after
a late night
spillage of cosmic
cafe` and some
hot mocha expresso
left over from
the night before
of coffee tasting
and cake munching
into the early
hours of the
day of summer
remembered long ago
best with wine
served in a
flask of silver
sterling and titanium
to hold the
white wine while
they played checkers
in the candlelight
while the city
was hugged by
old man winter
with a blanket
that was scratchy
and moth eaten
that it no
longer resembles a
finely crafted garmet
but rather a
badly tattered rag
not fit for
a rag doll
or even a
plate of cookies
left for santa
to help him
fatten up for
the hibernation period
before his vacation
delivering toys to
all the dolphins
in the Bahamas
then stopping at
the seaside resort
for a coconut
latte topped with
daiquiri and pretzels
then heading to
bluer waters and
floating home before
Mrs. Clause discovered
he left her
high and dry
at the hotel
forty floors up
from where he
abseiled down to
be with her
when she needed
that hip replaced
but couldn't afford
the good one
so settled for
the Bakelite one
whose color was
a brownie green
that matched the
costume jewellery she
wore around her
midriff to impress
all of the
midriff connoisseurs from
the other side
so they would
admire the bling
from the ring
of fire down
below that was
the devils playground
therefore full of
dancing unicorns and
and other weird
stuff dreamed up
by monkeys on
cloud nine with
-out their paddles
to keep their
heads above water
or their hands
and knees during
strong turning manoeuvres
taught to them
by that one
and only marvel
of intelligence and
tom foolery that
directed them off
to left field
with everyone else
who had no
money for popcorn
so they had
to settle for
being sent home
and straight to
the kitchen for
a cooking lesson
with macaroni and
peperoni on a
sesame seed bun
deep fried for
the upcoming carnival
of lost soles
held every year
in the middle
of nowhere so
it won't be
offensive to those
who's soles aren't
on their shoes
because they were
waiting for new
waders before putting
them into the
prepared lunch boxes
while all the
cobblers were taking
a break from
playing patty cake
with each other
before they went
down on their
lunch break to
have their lunch
without interruption before
going back to
the daily grind
, their coffee shop
that smells heavenly
to those that
love coffee more
than a good
stiff, very stiff
corpse left out
of the freezer
to soften up
for fun before
life becomes a
a bore for
not really that sick but one of my favourite song is :yesnod: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hk0sGep1bc
drilling oil wells
that was one crazy clip.
all over the
:2thumbs:
country side till
they find gold
or black gold
leaking from the
small opening on
the back of
their left knee
because the heel
of their right
foot is sewn
up side down
on his forehead
causing him to
do cartwheels down
the stairs every
morning at 5
and landing hard
, hard and deep
in the hall
by the big
oaken front door
that was open
to let the
bad air out
from the flatulence
that was due
to eating a
Mc rib for
a Mclaxative meal
to produce a
extra large eruption
of smelly Mc
and mixed with
Nuggets that filled
the bowl all
but half way
was enough to
please the savage
desire that was
lurking in the
buried within her
very special quivering
with delight was
very moist and
good for ferns
and other uses
of a botanic
archeologist may find
his armpits moistening
from running from
the abominable crabs
that chased after
the lady with
the red dress
and spiked heels
on thigh high
ridding boots for
that extra special
riding experience with
brand new steed
that liked to
roll in the
hay on a
rainy moonlit night
to keep its
record of accomplishment
a secret forever
or tomorrow afternoon
tea time gossip
that upsets the
church ladies who
forget and start
again , again just
in time to
forget again, again
forgetting what they
had learnt yesterday
and tried to
pretend they remembered
and hoping to
jump through hoops
for the exercise
as sitting around
and eating marshmallows
was doing nothing
to help the
homeless people get
a new haircut
and a foot
ball for after
Thanksgiving Day Parade
to kick the
afternoon away just
before the big
chill hits town
Tuesday that will
freeze hell and
your favorite plants
will become popsicles
that glisten in
the mouth and
stick to the
tongue in painful
gagging chocking slime
left from a
broccoli turnip popsicle
making me crave
anything but a
gummy bear or
a gummy worm
unless it's in
a tequila bottle
a tequila bottle
ha ha ha!!!!! Great minds and all that.
I'm seeing double :lol:
two worms for
two fishing poles
attached to a
fishing boat, headed
out to sea
in calm waters
for a sightseeing
tour before the
humpback whales showed
them the door
on the ocean
floor hidden by
salt water. After
little Miss Muphet
sat on her
very large tuffet
squishing the spider
with the heel
until she realized
it made a
high pitched scream
which caused her
eardrums to burst
from the presure
rebounding around inside
her head which
had to escape
the hideous sound
reverberating around inside
his bongo drums
hanging from his
neck until dead
came walking from
the other side
Of the proportional
anti mater gate
it don't matter :nana:
what you do
in everyday life
as long as
you have fun :cheers:
as does everyone
when mushrooms are
ground up into
very magical surprises
illuminating the senses
of your brain
high on nicotine
and other things
dreamt up by
those in magicland
where Skip danced
around in glee
:wave: off to work
with unicorns and
Have a nice day :wave: Catchya later on in the evening :cheers:
his pink tutu
and cowboy boots
which made a
funny track on
the corral rails
as he slid
getting many splinters
in his Wranglers
and under his
finger nails from
scratching his big
long hairy beard
to untangle the
flies caught up
In the horses
lined up at
Hooter's restaurant, waiting
for their share
of the wings
that Pegasus won't
Begin to eat
because he needs
to say prayer
to fly safely
Before laying a
to the other
end of the
road to meet
The old mule
for a date
Over the moon
and back again
before getting caught
in giant spiderweb
created by a
giant spider wanting
a snow cone
to quench it's
desire to cool
his eight legs
that was burnt
from the tarmac
that had broken
glass in it
from the party
in the van
used for having
wild parties in
the back until
they run out
of much needed
party supplies for
the big day
and night of
camping with pretty
orange pop-up tents :icon_smile_big:
in shanty towns
on the outskirts
of Tibetan temples
where monks roam
at night looking
for bread to
butter with that
box of chocolates
left on the
edge of the
park while trowling
for tuna at
the local market
catching only scrod
and throwing them
to the dogs
of war because
it was an
family tradition to
tie a ribbon
around his appendage
on the 3rd
day of July
until after his
fireworks blew up
and untied the
strap holding her
left roller skate
that slid across
the hardwood floor
just waxed by
an overworked janitor
to silky perfection
clean enough to
eat sticky buns
off her smooth
wheels rolled effortlessly
around the grounds
of the roller
blader's domain and
silently up behind
the starry eyed
rollerblader and wham
she crashed into
her rear and
blushed in embarrassment
when asked if
she was skating
or falling gracefully
on her humongous
poker dotted mushroom
where the spider
was squashed flat
against the fly
of the guy
with his zipper
which she smacked
hard against his
forehead and said
please go away
before I go
so far as
to get you
all jacked up
which would mean
nothing to you
unless you were
Greek and headed
in the direction
for the nearest
olive groves to
make a stiff
martini for James
and the giant
Cyclops who lives
at the bottom
of the sea
in a damp
spot where little
crawly things live
amongst the fishes
and the eels
were coming ashore
and rolling in
their own to
Nip at the
toes of unsuspecting
Orangatangs out for
their morning walk
Sniffing the glorious
odours emitting from
Underneath their rearward
compartment of the
school bus that
went missing on
and forgot all
The red haired
little monsters whose
Stepparents went running
wild when they
Farted behind the
lounge that was
Smaller then a
three seater but
large enough to
Accomodate dancing fools
with sore feet
needing a place
to park their
Curly locks of
arm pit hair
that was plaited
like warm spaghetti
and ready for
using as shoelaces
for a group
hug desperately needed
at the slumber
party next door
that watched a
very blue movie
that made them
jump for joy
at the sight
of an angel
that presented a
new version of
"The Sound of
silence by the marx brothers
starring well know
Shirley Temple and
and pat benatar impersonator Cher
with Sonny and
his favourite tree
three word :slap:
time apple juice
I have done it too
to mix his
Dimple in a
bucket before consuming
the shots while
sitting on the
beach watching nude
old fat dudes
treading water like
very little ducks
waiting to feed
the very hungry
sharks just waiting
for tasty bite-sized
nuggets ready to
pop in the
cold so they
can freeze into
one big mass
of hard frozen
peas and carrots
to be used
for flinging across
the ocean for
birds to eat
for lunch before
feasting on fish
left over from
breakfast and then
disposed of so
much, they plugged
all the evidence
in a movie
player and then
invited the President
to go away
and [expletive deleted] himself
:smilielol:
or someone else
if so inclined
by the people
of the Kalahari
and the Serengeti
where the Zulu's
and the antelope
play bingo with
out any funds
and relying on
using sunflower seeds
seeds to make
a tasty damper
at the party
of hair club
in the backroom
with his pants
drying because of
an aversion to
the upcoming event
picnic basket raiding
by the conniving
witch who's sick
of frog legs
and gingerbread biscuits
so she concocted
a plan that
involved a unicycle
and lost children
in Sherwood forest
whose breadcrumb trail
glowed in the
eyes of ravens
:wave:
that were parched
:wave:
from lack of
bird seed left
over from last
feeding frenzying by
finicky cockatoos and
Fred's backyard birds
that follow him
because he whispers
sweet nothings and
winks until his
treated to a
bowl of water
to rinse his
feathers and feet
using his beak
to pick chiggers
off his chin
hair and a
razor for the
shaving down by
the river where
calling it a night. :wave: I think we're watching "The Birds" tonight. :icon_smile_big:
while fishing for
good night :wave: are you eating chicken with that?
treasure, they lost
:lol:
during the rain
down the drain
what a pain
that came from
the only insane
man on the
board of directors
to do it
right without any
government regulations and
social media networking
such as a
page on Facebook ;D
twit from twitter
or that other
useless waste of
networking space called
useless networking space
used by some
morons with nothing
better to do
but surf the
useless networking space
used by some
to search for
useless networking space
really bad porn
filmed by old
super 8 movie
that was really
dirty old men
and teenagers at
super 8 motel
where the small
dog ran around
and around the
merry go around
going in circles
and stopping where
no-one has stopped
before this came
upon us in
no body knows
by no body
who really cares
about nothing at
this very moment
about no body
and went on
to play games
for lack of
pro gamers that
are without pants
or lack of
knowledge as to
surf the useless
games online to
amuse themselves while
drinking spiked tea
and root beer
with little ice
fairies twirling around
ice cubes that
taste like chicken
but are made
from dirty water
cleaned in a
sweaty white shirt
and dark tie
stained from his
dripping all over
the clean floor
that just got
freshly mopped this
very morning at
sunrise with cloudy
ammonia for that
sparkle that comes
from toilet water
mixed with a
little sample of
super secret cleaner
and high strength
racing fuel for
racing around the
bathroom on the
bathtub rim wearing
a rubber fish
dangling from his
rubber suit that
fit like a
glove leaving no
wrinkles or stretch
room so the
suit felt tight
in the right
leg, but loose
in the crotch
and the buttocks
hurt after being
rubbed raw by
pockets filled with
tech screws from
across the street
picked up during
the last parade
left over from
Mardi Gras and
still with that
strand of beads
Posting too fast :brickwall: :lol:
that looked like
strings of fish
on fishing line
that also held
dried up worms
and cheese balls
with some little
fish flakes for
fish to nipple
on until they
feel nipple out
on high beam
cruising for the
first place position
at the local
drive in theater
before they go
grab a bite
at the local
county jail where
the hookers are
allowed on thursdays
do something surprising
to those without
the opportunity to
do it themselves
with help from
other inmates willing
to do yoga
while pairing up
socks in the
before one gets
lost in the
enchanted forest where
bear shit smells
like roses and
sweet honey buns
that make you
r mouth water continuously
like a running
water faucet in
the middle of
the empty bathroom
that has no
towel rack so
the towel lay
in a wet
mound making it
look almost alive
to the blind
persons dog who
yelped at the
sight and ran
like a fraidy
cat round and
bound for the
door with the
peep hole to
take a peek
at the naked
mannequin in the
shop front window
because the window
needed sprucing up
for Christmas time
when shoppers shop
for ideas for
next years novelties
that would appeal
to good boys
driving general lee's
with daisy next
to take the
mickey out of
bo because he
took a leap off the
Mile high cliff
top without his
sorry, I did it again.
water wings on
causing him to
hurt his tushy
after landing hard
on the bed
and wrecking the
footboard and the
mattress springs as
the bed couldn't
take the weight
of all his
bowling balls and
stuffed animals that
fell off the
planet during a
violent turn for
the worse before
it straightened out
and allowed the
proper mounting of
scaffolding so that
repairs could be
made to the
tall statue of
Henry Ford, which
he was holding
for ransom because
onto for safe
keeping until the
owner wants it
sold at auction
at the biggest
pawn shop known
to man in
side a glacier
at the end
of the world
by the North
shores of GitcheGumee,
where the dead
rest in peace
and are never
have to leave
its cold embrace
for fear of
thawing and making
Snoring sounds like
two hippo's humping
During a drunken
monkeys rampage through
the school concert
punching at cymbals
that get in
everyone's nerves and
entertains the neighbors
with obnoxious clowns
that frighten kids
that come to
trick or treat
during the summer
or around Halloween
and again in
the second round
of the Olympics
where fisticuffs became
out of style
in favour of
the very dangerous
potato sack race
up Pikes Peak
and down the
side of the
rather large anthill
that resided on
the edge of
sanity and morality
between the small
antelope and the
anthill, leaving the
anteater wanting more
hot sauce for
spicing ant flavor
for fire ants
that are especially
good in taco's
and breakfast burritos
where the fire
cleans the tastebuds
and makes for
a clean pallet
of coffee connoisseurs
so up themselves
with an intertesting
swizzle stick that
fits nicely into
the tightest hole
to pick out
whatever gunk is
inside the opening
causing bloat to
set in when
the temp rose
up and down
causing other things
to become brittle
like overdone and
half set bog
that's almost ripe
enough to really
send them running
up over the
the far edge
in the rain
for their annual
running in the
emu chasing competition
that usually ends
with someone's nulla-nulla
broken by the
head it struck
because of a
defect in the
manufacturer ;D that no-one
will admit to
thus causing a
safety concern with
quality control, which
no one really
care about but
everyone was getting
pretty worried about
people licking with
forked tongues or
sandpaper like tongues
or licking stamps
that tastes like
something the cat
would not touch
unless coated in
liquid cat nip
and sprinkled with
cat fish fried
I hit 6,000
up just right
:cheers:
and served with :2thumbs:
fries and lemon
and some Cajun
gumbo that cooked
way to long
and hardened in
the pan like
last year's jerky
we love Cajun spice.
which broke teeth
no spice for me :shruggy:
in the woman
leaving huge gaps
you don't like spices?
and bleeding gums
heartburn/indigestion
and a whistling
aaah!
Dixie while riding
do you like spice girls?
bareback through the
NO
bedroom with one
Gerri halliwell would do nicely :yesnod:
cowboy boot on
Never been fond of the Spice girls or even the Dixie Chicks.
the bed post
who said anything about listening to them ? :D
and the other
on his left
hand got stuck
while wiping his
bum after a
splash down in
the wading pool
with the kiddies
that ran screaming
because the bully
was coming on
one roller skate
and heading right
out the door
into the path
calling it a night, catch you again tomorrow.
of oncoming traffic
I was thinking that myself.:wave:
which could not
easily avoid the
roller skating bully
so bully pancake
and do the
twist and shout
advertisement for soap
on a rope
hanging from the
lowest position possible
almost touching the
orifice that controls
the wind speed
and the solid
:smilielol: :smilielol:
mass of unwanted
but useful fertilizer
for killing weeds
or health food
full of fibre
and totally tasteless
so nobody wants
to eat healthy
and be wise
cause its lonely
being the only
green thing out
of your mind
on blue moonies
with other loonies
that suck their
beer thru a
licorice stick and
sucking real hard
on a sucker
doesn't mean you
need to get
a sore throat
during flu season
or cold season
if you're careful
and stay away
from anything contagious
when licking anything
that tastes like
Lisa's cooking on
a silver plate
that burnt into
the forehead branding
a owners name
marked with a
for rent sign
leaving him stunned
at the outrageous
offer he was
forced to take
action he normally
reserves only for
that special time
in his life
when the planets
are aligned for
some boot scootin'
and hat tossin
with butt smacking
and lip sinkin
wanna bee popstars
are coming out
of the dirt
to stand tall
and block the
sun from shining
sea to shining
armour worn by
a warrior princess
from New Zealand
that was vacationing
at Ayer's Rock
before heading to
the north pole
via south Dakota
through the badlands
to the good
old days when
gas was cheap
than the dirt
on your floor
of an old
57 Chevy sedan
parked in a
derelict old barn
waiting for the
right buyer to
spring a leak
on the tires
to irrigate the
white lettering where
chocolate syrup had
dripped from the
little kids' favorite
Popsicle melting from
the sun gleaming
and little hands
trembling with delight
of a 69
model muscle car
painted orange with
a black stripe
and big wheels
being pedaled alongside
other wares from
the alien ship
that was just
waiting for skip
and Lisa to
climb aboard for
Thanksgiving dinner with
all and sundry
raisins and bananas
in abundance for
those that didn't
want turkey or
cranberry sauce that
sticks to dentures
giving the impression
that their gums
turned to sugar
between the teeth
of the world
of warcraft where
in the hell
is this thread
going to end
sometime today. Meanwhile
did anyone tell
the bus driver
close the door
there's a nasty
looking, eerie -eyed
wide mouthed frog
which are often
princes in diguise
in order to
catch flies that
contain hallucinogenic agents
to help with
struggles at work
where tripping helps
only if you
have a pillow
for the next
bungee jumper that
cord was too
far left, causing
excruciating pain to
the eyes of
:wave:
the law even
no power all day tomorrow here (Friday). catch you again on Saturday.
when they were
what do you do about frozen goods
shut tight so
They're replacing power lines and some poles in the area and it's taking forever. It was a real pain not being able to open the fridge all day for fear of food spoiling so we ended up getting a portable generator. They stopped over winter but it looks like they're starting up again now. And the worst of it is, twice they ran over time by 5 hours.
the boogie man
couldn't get them
from under the
bed where he
crochets doilies and
scares kids for
peanut butter crackers
and peanuts, plus
leaves them with
permanent psychological scars
that need mending
but the stapler
was jammed, so
sticky tape was
not adequate when
duck tape was
double wrapped and
tied with ribbon
to celebrate the
extra sticky day
from honey thrown
from up above
and dripping slowly
in the eyes
stinging very much
like a wasp
under attack from
a hornet nest
in its territory
surrounded by huge
swollen sacks of
rocky mountain oysters
just waiting for
someone to grill
and serve up
with hot sauce
that was aged
in a bucket
of white wine
in order to
add additional flavours
and remove others
and varnish to
to preserve the
special finish that
graced the surface
really perking up
the antique carvings
and other erect
buildings to create
a movie scene
for Charger's to
come alive and
show off their
poor braking ability
to the world
currently spinning out
control over the
the great divide
ski area to
make their way
to the top
to slide down
the slippery slope
because walking is
so dam tiring
for us old
folks, they've given us rollerskates
and walkers to
replace the rollerskates
for new iceskates
that do not
allow for smooth
and straight runs
or crooked curves
to grandma house
where no-one goes
because there's not
a friendly wolf
or red riding
hood to play
while the boys
watch the girls
walk by wearing
sheep suits for
the cold weather
is really hard
to hide from
the chill breeze
stiffening up their
hand warmers for
no good reason
but to massage
their aching temples
and running fingers
that won't stop
running even when
they get tangled
in your hair
being blown about
because your head
was hanging out
the charger window
while doing speeds
that make the
sound barrier cringe
at being beat
of a drum
stick on a
turkey that was
to quick for
dinner and then
came home after
the big game
all worn out
and ready for
a good nights
sleep but steroids
keep you ticking
long after the
batteries wear off
and that tingly
touchy feeling that
comes only with
little tiny hands
belonging to a
little French maid
who needs milking
because her knockers
have started to
pop out of
their hiding place
like a weasel
on a mission
to capture a
paparazzi style photgraph
of the ever
popular gossip magazines
that are sold
around the world
wide web, to
embrace us all
with the wisdom
of the ages
as well as
all the other
missing pieces of
the jig saw
that made a
interesting puzzle and
torture the young
that torture their
brain trying to
solve the mysteries
of the missing
ring of power
attached to the
person wearing it
until they lost
the car in
early morning traffic
at the diner
on the corner
next to the
nunnery where penguins
preen and mate
with door handles
that are polished
to an unnatural
finish that repels
anyone looking at
the small crevice
tucked deep into
the warm, moist
soothing bubble bath
to clean thoroughly
those dirty socks
stuffed up the
chimney for safe
keeping when the
others run out
to buy beer
to quench your
desire for beer
that leaves you
hungry for a
burger and fries
making you fat
and very happy
until you find
you hear arteries
exploding from all
the fries you
covered in chili
and hot peppers
leaving you feeling
bloated, causing you
fart like a
flame thrower that
can BBQ dinasaurs
till golden brown
chunks fly everywhere
making them extinct
from the other
flying pieces that were rather
pulverized into mush
moon over the
the left over
the sky so
birds could fly
as high as
the mountain peak
before being pummeled
to the bottom
of the trench
to catch minnows
and tadpoles so
that mosquitos can
eat us alive
, the little blighters
can ruin your
date with the
prom queen from
coming to fruition
by her showing
us the door
to the sorority
sisters that will
break in new
brothers that are
not yet broken
down. which comes
from drinking beer
from a tub
meant for stomping
but used for
grapes for wine
making vinaigrette that
tastes like wet
pussy willow leaves
not fit for
stirring wine in
an old bucket
out of straw
berries that came
out of the
in days late
that tasted sour
as any lemon
pie without whipping
good night :wave:
cream and sugar
in a nice
plate with some
added special toppings
like some tasty
buffet of flavors
to please the
masses of hungry
pie eaters waiting
for that very
special pie with
all of the
added flavours and
topped with a
real tomato sauce
with red habaneros
and cheese with
holes as big
as a big
head of lettuce
that had been
diced up into
burger fixins for
late night tacos
guaranteed to keep
everyone else awake
and sheets floating ;D
with warm air
and the aroma
:smilielol:
of used taco's
caressed the noses
and corrupted the
silence of the
bed partners laying
together in the
fog holding hands
hoping that nobody
would hear the
sounds of their
previous taco excesses
at the local
billabong where the
birds rest until
the crocs come
over to visit
with the swagman
with lamb on
the spit and
a slab on
the barbie that
that really needed to go in the fridge but never mind. :icon_smile_big:
exploded once hot
sauce hit it
splattering everywhere except
in that one
place where wanted
:wave:
fellers gather up
:wave:
to lie low
out of sight
out of mind
with not knowing
who's lurking behind
the green door :icon_smile_big:
with slim sipping
of hot cider
from a mug
that previously had
a rubber thingy
that girls use
to clean their
dirty high heels
the 7" stiletto
black ones that
are lethal weapons
in the hands
?
on the feet
of angry centipedes
that were agitated
with the puddles
of murky water
soaking their feet
after the long
dry summer months
have since passed
by the wayside
on the long
road the sun
shines over the
long strait blacktop
that was begging
Charger's to race
just for fun
and show off
their shiny tips
polished to gleaming
in the sunlight
and in darkness
where fire roared
in the hearts
of loved ones
to see the
rippling of pavement
caused by the
pounding of horsepower
from massively overpowered
Hot wheels cars
on the super
duper double looper
that defied gravity :2thumbs:
and awed the
I had one :2thumbs:
audience of kids
with hot wheels
inside their cases
waiting their turn
to race the
car of choice
that won best
loop last time
now to win
the stash of
hotwheel topped trophies
that was donated
by the largest
mom and pop
corner store for
the big race
called Hotwheels 500
that features drivers
of various sorts
from all over
the back yard
where grass grows
in large patches
that on-one mows
cause the dog
bares his teeth
and bites ass
in order to
protect his yard
full of buried
homework that kids
desperately tried to
get done in
less time than
it takes them
to have supper
and do dishes
without breaking any
of moms' favorite
Lalique glass ornaments
that she acquired
Not very cheap stuff :o
by selling herself
ridiculously pricey.
and her sister
without any thought
at what might
happen to the
chickens left to
chase the roosters
back to the
slaughter house, leaving
the eggs empty
of the wholesome
extra bit in
the center that
tastes like fresh
omelet served with
cheese and bacon
and hash browns
for a complete
and wholesome breakfast
ready for the
start of the
morning of sunshine
and snow blindness
from snow bunnies
exposing such white
skin seeking a
playmate to play
hopscotch and jump
through flaming hoops
all for nothing
to lose your
left thong (flip flop) during
a game of
tag in the
neighbors swimming pool
while trying not
to expose one's
fungal toe infection
for fear of
being shunned by
their Amish brothers
who came to
learn about it
first hand so
now everyone has
tea and crumpets
instead of strumpets
unwinding after a
brisk walk in
the wet sand
before collapsing with
an English maiden
who spoke French
toast and Greek
salad for everyone
to enjoy by
the relish tray
full of carrots
and celery sticks
dipped in peanut
butter or ranch
dressing with pickles
and black olives
topped with shrimp
not easily seen
because of the
shrinkage after cooking
too long over
really hot BBQ
Texas style with
lots of hickory
smoke and parsley
basted with brandy
until golden brown
and dripping with
good old fashioned
caramelized onion rings
that melt in
your mouth like
semi sweet chocolate
in warm cookies
fresh from the
Easy Bake oven
from last Christmas
from Mrs. Santa
to the little
baker in the
corner drug store
waiting for the
new supply of
uppers and downers
to prescribe to
all the other
reindeer that couldn't
play nice with
the snowman visiting
the outdoor spa
to get his
body warm by
dipping his feet
in polar bear
pee turning them
yellow, causing him
to melt just
after the first
joint on his
left middle toe
because he never
took enough time
to get shoes
to fit his
split personality and
twelve toed extra
foot. Soon after
this the sun
went out, causing
concern world wide
and mass panic
as there was
no leftover cake
to keep for
after work snack :drool5:
for the hard
labor and headaches
gotten while at
a visitation with
a chupacabra from
Tokyo that destroyed
mothra's resting place
forcing Mothra to
battle Godzilla again
which destroyed Tokyo
again and everybody
just gives up
and take off
to other islands
leaving rubber suits
and mittens laying
around for anyone
to stuff into
their anorak and
kept throughout the
long cold winter
until Spring sprung
and the bird
took one mitten
and left a
marble in its
shoe where the
couple had been
sneaking around from
behind the barn
find of muscle
cars just waiting
to show off
their chrome plated
valve covers and
grease nipples for
the lovely lady
with the grease
saturating her white
gloves as she
massaged the oil
off the dip
stick from a
red hot hemi
too fast for
all comers for
the night out
with the girls
that resulted in
multiple pregnancies for
those involved with
rubbing the fertility
goddess statue that
was on the
podium in the
middle of the
atrium of the
moon over by
the local pub
called the sign
Of the Times
by two equals
which was rather
high compared to
other pub signs
that lit up
the night sky
and blocked out
all the horrors
that could be
-come reality if
we shift into
a parallel world
with a new
outlook on life
and nowhere to
park the camper
cause here campers
have pet cockatoos
the size of
California condors that
pull said chariots
of the Gods
that was really
Alaskan snow sleds
with Rudolf attached
at the lead
with hopes of
leading the way
with sure footed
prancer stashed in
the bag o
ver in the
sleigh, next to
the venison order
for red noses
there's nothing like
imitating Rudolf to
pretend the cold
is much liked
by the North
Southern Pole residents
who eat the
Kentucky Fried Penguin
deep fried in
seal blubber and
motor coordination is getting better :lol:
wet whale poo
:lol:
that floated up
from Moby dick
and his buddies
who crapped a
bit cold over your way
pleasant dinner for
Not really. Your lows at night are equivalent to my temps during the day. At night, it does get really cold. 15* F
those into fried
to a crisp
whale poo fritters
that get washed
down with lots
of prune juice
for the older
siblings of the
last generation from
the one before
the last one
that was the
first to be
copied for posterity
and left for
dead on the
river's edge, before
being eaten by
the one eyed
cookie monster from
the new Godzilla
versus king kong
on the big
mountain located in
the middle of
nowhere where inbreds
and two heads
are better than
the little head
on big shoulders
and then with
three heads are
better then one
big red head
better than one
little red head
and a medium
well done steak
which wasn't done
very well at
all and was
a little pink
being an understatement
that tasted like
raw and bloody
fresh from a
roadkill that was
left on route
66, by the
last power tour
before being scavenged
by the cook
to BBQ with
the other roadkill
collected over by
the side of
freeway where the
game piles up
due to a
90 mph speedlimit
and no hunting
resulting in excess
hunting parties at
certain times of
the month where
the term PMS
is clearly understood
by all of
those not affected
by the zombie
that used to
sharpen pencils for
fun at school
throwing them up
to stick in
the ceiling, unnoticed
:whistling:
by the teacher
or anyone till falling and
falling asleep while
looking up and
Did someone forget what game they were playing? :lol:
seeing five words
instead of three
:slap:
that we all
do from time
to time which
just go's to
show how fun
we're having tonight
playing games with
three or five
people at one
time trying to
post in the
quickest time to
see who will
be the last
saying good night
Good night :wave: :icon_smile_big:
:wave: To those who
just cant get
:wave:
to sleep tonight
or today for
I had too
have a colonoscopy
performed by an
dentist using a
really long straw :icon_smile_big:
before using it
for lunchtime slurpy's
with her date
still around the
the corner from
that hole in
the wall near
where you threw
the big rock
and made a
little dent in
the cops hood
resulting in a
huge ticket for
the thrower and
a old lady
that hindered the
investigation after she
started to swing
her handbag at
the investigating cop
causing grievous bodily
harm to his
delicate glass jaw
and knocked out
his hip doing
irreparable damage to
his shoulder also
destroyed by a
blow from a
brick laden handbag
my older sister used to actually do this
made with canvas
and nylon macramé
that matched her
I'd hate to be hit by it
halter top that
was meant to knock you out at the time girls were going missing . has never been proven but its common knowledge that the belangalo killer ivan milat http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backpacker_Murders was working on the local roads/highway at the time
barely covered her
enormous back fat
that was unshaven
with infected pimples
that resembled a
pizza with some
anchovies and mushrooms
with some mold
in the shower
curtain that was
there for good
until the room
is demolished and
rebuilt using non
toxic, fire resistant
metal that will
deteriorate when hit
hard with a
brick of cheese
old enough to
know better but
to young to
care unless you're
humpty dumpty sitting
on a wall
trying hard not
get a hard
or woody to
whittle away the
head on the
bust of nero
while breaking his
bank playing monopoly
buying the railroads
and Park Avenue
before running out
of gasoline at
a very crucial
side road so
we'll have to
get back to
regularly scheduled programming
in a few
years, after we
give up on
Obamacare, and start
throwing mugs out
the window at
an obnoxious cat
that wont stop
chasing the dogs
from the windowsill
until it gets
knocked out by
one of a
hundred shoes thrown
in honour of
those who could
not make it
to the party
and will miss
the opening of
the envelope addressed
to the lady
in the front
row sharing her
latte frappe with
anyone willing to
lend an ear
to her adventures
of huckleberry finn
and Tom Sawyer
sailed the mississippi
in a punt
that leaked badly
enough to lose
momentum without any
assistance from obstructions
to block their
path to the
stairway to heaven
to meet St.
Thomas by the
Nicholas for Xmas
pudding in a
tupper ware bowl
normally used for
porridge in the
great porridge contest
for best building
a mountain of
bricks stuck with
bubble gum and
porridge :slap: for extra
holding powder to
allow bowel movement
in a confined
tin can located
to the left
on the bottom
of the chow
wagon next to
the tucker box
speaking of which..........got to go and have some tucker. Catch you later.
and some Twinkies
what's a tucker, a car :shruggy:
that sparkle like
tucker is Aussie for food. :wave:
gold dust from
good night :wave:
a pile of
tucker from tucker box http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog_on_the_Tuckerbox
Silver which bells
are made from
to ring in
the new year
for 2014 and
the happy future
for all. In
God we trust
on our currency
that's worthless than
the dirt beween
someone finger nails
but still more
than the air
over a loo
that's full of
before being ignited
by a spark
from the smoke
caused by a
fire fly that
collided with some
fly high on
top of the
great pile of
slippery, slimy, smelly
leavings from the
Bears running from
the slippery, slimly
leavings from Goldie
Hawn's party that
everyone saw heathers
little brother take
the last pappadum
and share it
with everyone else
making it a
group effort to
gather nuts for
winter for crippled
squirrels and chipmunks
down on their
luck or without
the means to
keep their nuts
dry and safe
and out of
the way of
other predators looking
for a meal
or a nibble
of cheese ball
s from tasty squirrels
that hogged all
the nuts from
the poor chipmunks
who had empty
cheeks and bellies
and sacks as
as flaccid as
old hanging melons
ona Danish nudist
MELONS WITH DANISH ???
licked and rubbed
till a high
polished shine developed
making them fun
to dazzle the
spectators while bouncing
very, very quickly
on shinny funbags
controlled by the
hot air coming
from the source
through a tube
and valve arrangement
made up from
tubes and valves
ending with a
bouncy funbag ready
and controlled by
the devil himself
luring unsuspecting fanbag
away from safety
and into a
deep muddy looking
world of funbag
whatever that is
or where it
originally came from
that someone made
out of clay
using their finger
paints to illustrate
big bold smileys
where least expected
from just anyone
Can play miniature
go home now
and pick their
lent from their
flannel night gown
to prepare for
a good nite
on the rocks
with plenty of
body oil and
sun flour seed
cake to satisfy
I think you mean flower
the hungry parrots
camping out front
you're right, I did.
and waiting for
Santa to come
to the mall
for a clambake
dinner's served.
and gumbo brought
:drool5: :drool5: :wave:
by those that
love Cajun food
and heart burn
brought on by
wedding expenses for
the new couple
and six kids
make egg roll
expensive on treat
night with movie
with no popcorn
just choc top
ice cream cone
to share between
friends with some
NEW YEAR MUNCHYS
NEW YEARS COTTONMOUTH
new years celebration :cheers:
WHERES THE HOOKERS???
IN THIS FLEA BAG -------- CANNONBALL MOVIE
Where's the beef?
ad was on
check the hookers
Can't,wife wathcing
for exterior stimulation
or cavity search
in the local
proctologists lounge room
in front of
assembled interns and
one old lady
there by mistake
thinking it was
tea and cookies
blue bonnet party
where no one
expected to see
the lone ranger
and his horse
ed with a
big, long, raging
hand up his
very, very tight
ever so puckered
and tensed up
ready to drop
it's contents on
a passer by
unlucky enough to
prod the protrusion
and release the
nicely wrapped package
that burst like
Jack in the
box and erupting
in every direction
to the surprise
and great astonishment
of the prodee ;D
AND the prodder
who had just
got clean for
the bachelorette party
and their date
had covered them
in Vaseline and
peanuts with a
spare tooth brush
stuck up their
sleeping bag until
they got out
from under the
spray from ed's
loaded orifice and
peanut butter just
like mother used
could not fix
the after taste
or during taste
buds that will
cringe from memory
from the last
taste of the
grilled fried rabbit
jerky for the
elderly and picky
who didn't like
loud mopars and
horses with no
name in desert
you can remember
the sands of
time and other
time pieces that
keep track of
how long it
takes to read
dead sea scrolls
after you find
cooties in your
man bag worn
Stylishly low on
the front of
the handle bars
with your jeans
dangling from the
ankle of yours
passenger with the
scary face like
witchy-poo off of
a famous and
OK.....whats a witchy-poo....and what is it off of? :shruggy:
feared citizen of
Guess Winny the poo? :scratchchin: those guys down there are weird :nana:
the living island
HR stuff-n-puff :slap:
(http://i1324.photobucket.com/albums/u619/polywideblock/witch_witchiepoo.jpg) (http://s1324.photobucket.com/user/polywideblock/media/witch_witchiepoo.jpg.html)
of misfit toys
That's a bit strange.
Think you down-under guys do this intentionally to confuse us :scratchchin:
with cling -n clang
was real popular with stoners and hippy's and those weird people that ate magic mushies and wondered around in a world of their own
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H.R._Pufnstuf
(http://i1324.photobucket.com/albums/u619/polywideblock/kfhgj.jpg) (http://s1324.photobucket.com/user/polywideblock/media/kfhgj.jpg.html)
(http://i1324.photobucket.com/albums/u619/polywideblock/ytgfh.jpg) (http://s1324.photobucket.com/user/polywideblock/media/ytgfh.jpg.html)
doing their thing
Thinking about it......have heard of H+R Puff......but didn't know anything about it
just like smoky
and the bandit
that had just
about finished doing
their bandit run
streaking across the
southern states hauling
next years load
in hope of
change that's good
for their bad
habits that cause
more heartache then
they are worth
$5 and 17
for a gallon
of rocket fuel
to make their
prius explode and
be done with
all the crap
that gets said
over and over
on the internet
about saving the
whales and other
furry critters that
live in your
basement Apt.[apartment]
or between your
garage and shed
in the space
most revered by
things from small
beginnings wanting to
seem bigger then
their onscreen heros
who saved the
dinosaur from extinction
as well as
stopping mount Etna
from spectacularly spewing
forth it's innards
to make them
come out the
biggest hole for
"other " purposes that
boggles the mind
less, resulting in
absolute clarity and
perfectly cut diamond
to be presented
to the fairest
in the land
by a bumbling
honey bee heading
back to the
hive for a
quick sip of
honey mead and
a sticky bun
before heading off
to have his
stop work meeting
rescheduled for next
week of fun
and games will
excite everyone that
practices until they
can't stand to
practice it again
in front of
a large audience
that was dressed
for a party
for one involving
dancing and buffet
rubber sheets and
ropes, chains with
kinky furry handcuffs
that got confused
with kinky furry
spaghetti past the
wet and slimy
stage and well
on into the
turning to glue
sticks and tape
to keep it
from being stolen
by the monkey
that danced the
street car line
doing the difficult
hoki poki while
tap dancing the
Cups Song by
the side of
the moon sung
out of tune
while whistling dixie
and playing taps
on the wall
between the other
celestial objects that
orbit elliptically around
uranus hanging from
a hook made
from twisted hair
in a scrunchie
enabling large ones
to look smaller
and hang more
on the edge
parting the center
patch to reveal
the center of
the bald bit
that's kinda puckered
from a damp
humid day at
under his toupee
that he doesn't
wash very often
preferring the natural
aroma of manliness
over perfumed wussyness
that can't carry
a tune well
because it weighs
less than a
paperclip used for
pulling my chain
in all directions
instead of asking
for some help
hanging a picture
on a stone
fireplace laid up
with smelly coal
and soot that
covered his face
after cleaning the
rear porch and
pouring a glass
of cool clear
champagne for his
feet to soak
while chugging beer
eating salted peanuts
with dirty hands
taking a dump
to relieve the
the golden egg
that was swallowed
whole to help
cure his constipation
which worked very
poorly, it just
stopped all movement
and causing air
and other stuff
to make him
so gassy that
blow away in
never never land
that was ruled
by a clown
prince that forced
back the 70's
to the 60's
cars that run
on corn syrup
diluted with water
to give a
stomach cramp or
constipation to the
unfortunate soul who
tried to syphon
the mixture from
the gas tank
but getting some
down his gullet
and choking like
a snake that
ate a huge
crocodile with it's
tail in a
bench vise, screaming
blue murder to
anyone who would
listen to the
radio announcer who
talked down to
those lower than
a snakes belly
even though he's
totally deaf and
focused on naked
females who's showing
bits to passers
while begging for
pennies and attention
to benefit the
lonely and desperate
who yearn for
a Charger that
runs sweet all
four seasons long
which so rarely
happens here in
mopar land where
run freely till
the snow flies
and then garaged
till the sun
brightly shines and
the roads clear
of chevys/fords
left from last
nights chevy-ford fest
at the local
chevy/ford fest spot
down by the
junkyard [chevy/ford spot]
the great last
hurrah until being
chevy/ford to death
in the crusher
as people cheered
at the arrival
of more crusher
but why hate
the crusher because
Just kidding. Don't really hate Fords or Chevys. They just are not for me.
he's made for
crushing everything it
crushes while compacting
cars into pancakes
to be turned
into smart phones
for dumb people
some people do not realize a smart phone does not mean they are smarter
driving while texting
proving they are
not so smart
texting and driving
a rare Charger
endangering a classic
muscle car from
Dodge and then
storing them to
baffle the next
on lookers who
look in the
window to see
what that glint
of rare beauty
and automotive delight
that still fascinates
even those that
were too young
to know V8
was not juice
:lol: but a mode
powering a vehicle
to excessive speed
where happines lives
with or without
worrying of the
Days to come
and the lack
of electronic crutches
to help guide
you around the
latest addition to
the family of
Mopar, king of
the highway and
car shows worldwide
that gawkers jaw's
drop and drool
when the curtain
goes up, showing
the newest and
most outstanding of
all new cars
on the market
causing a massive
outbreak of a
pandemic of new
and rare diseases
with no antibiotics
and no cure
for the common
mans need for
speed and adrenaline
good wholesome fun
like bouncy castles :lol:
And water slides
fill the need
to stop me
going out bungy
jumping without a
elastic bungy cord
for the next
Bridge I find
to jump off
for no fee
for the next
3 days only
after that you
pay 150% sales
plus GST and
add two dollars
and carry the
luggage onto the
room for the
young couple from
under the bridge
that had just
been flooded out
during the heavy
snow storm at
the lower reaches
of the ghetto
in hell where
it's frozen over
like the lakes
in the north
arctic circle by
Frosty the snowman
standing next to
A forest fire
enjoying his last
marshmallow on a
skewer poking a
hot dog afterwards
realizing that it
was poor Bambi
and Rudolph pulverized
and inserted into
a plastic wrapper
before boiling for
a minute and
sticking in a
combination of egg
noodles and orange
marinade that brings
the colour out
of the table
top pool game
into the stew
creating an instant
hit with those
well cooked venison
and chicken lips
left over from
4th of July
celebration when no
sober people left
without a date
and fig bread
protesting again animal
rights which is
a load of
ineluctable laws because
no one follows
the hunters into
the marshy swamp
where the giant
Where's Fred been? shruggy
He was last active on January 07, 2014, at 12:20:22 AM
swamp rats eat
think he's having a hol. :scratchchin:
stroker knows whats going on :shruggy:
the swamp cats
:cheers:
with swamp dogs
catching crawchie's for
their wives' mother
And hot sister
to make gumbo
for release of
for lunch sunday
If anyone comes
they'll need a
A diaper and
a bib because
Uncle Billy makes
such a mess
Under the table
cloth at Thanksgiving
when he has
had enough, but
they keep shovelling
everything from everywhere
onto his plate
even left overs
from dog dishes
packed for lunch
with the relatives
egging him on
to move out
before the inevitable
happens or something
blesses the family
with a quiet
afternoon delight from
the football game
keeping everyone at
peace until the
full time whistle
blow to let
everyone know that
work is over
and its time
to enjoy the
smell of sunshine
watching the playoffs
from the sideline
with the cheerleaders
sitting on their
laps, waiting for
the crowd to
throw flowers and
cheerleaders pick them
up, sticking them
in their teeth
and their hair
y but cheeks
smelling their flower
covers the smell
of the players
and spectators' farts
that fill the
air after chilli
that curdles the
gut and makes
the stomach empty
in an instant
very, very violently
from both ends
that causes total
evacuation of the
complete digestive system
arena until the
sun come up
out the back
from behind the
dumpster in the
road behind Walmart
waking the bums
and their dogs
To the club
where everyone was
poor but intoxicated
and very obnoxious
by peeing on
the coffee table
while drinking beer
thru a straw
from his nose
to the beer
keg for the
quickest way to
flow the juice
filling up his
mouth and stomach
not dropping one
single little drop
all his focus
was on the
knot in his
somewhat flexible little
member that was
tied in a
double Windsor overhand
using bungee cords
instead of string
secured with duct-tape
which caused a scream to
wake up the dull neighborhood
only to find a knotted
rope around the
child molester's neck
where it belongs
tighter than a
limpet on a
pint of beer
whats a limpet?
Quote from: Ram07 on January 21, 2014, 06:37:46 PM
whats a limpet?
You know what they say,google is your friend :pity:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limpet
if I don't like to google, would you explain?
:nutkick:
Haven't i ever? :spank:
Meanwhile, outback by
the river canyon
in the middle
of nowhere there
where grandma lives
in the woods
a pretty girl
was skipping along
whistling a tune
when a wolf
came up behind
asking for directions.
but really wanted
to look into
the straw basket
that was full
of ripe, delicious
cup cakes ready
for frosting and
red star sprinkles
but the girl
had licked every
"johny" she met
and the cakes
That she had
finger holes stuck
in the top
. Trying to hide
the hang nail
on her left
pinky, which hurt...
when she wiped
the sweat from
under her arm
With her little
hankie that she
carelessly tossed aside
but warned to
pull out a
Desert Eagle to
make a mess
of old wolfie
creating another problem
of what to
do with the
thick sticky stuff
running out of
the long shaft
sunk by the
rocket propelled grenade
hidden in the
over grown bush
and not "Brazilian"
rainforest which would
have hidden the
family jewels in
the under growth
under the jewels
in the dank
dark and dreary
place that no..
sane person would
would dare to..
put a hand
down someone else's
mother in laws...
:icon_smile_big:
wet Depends that
really need to
be changed, but..
no one wants
to get close
because they forgot
to look down
at the puddle
Gleaming beside the
her right foot..
Trickling precariously away
her new shoe
While adhereing to
the principal of
Crap runs downhill
as always and
Don't stand at
the foot of
the bed with
a dressing gown
Caught on the
bed knob from
the neighbors house..
caught there when
hubby walked in..
helped you understand
which bed was
the wrong one..
for you to
visit, when you
are looking for
Toby, your dog
who chassed a
Cat, that Fred...
went looking for
but couldnt find
cause it had
not been spotted
so no-one knew
if there really..
was a cat
did he make..
a lunge at
the fast sprinting
cat look alike
that went woof
instead of meow
so must have
been hit upside
the head with
a foam bat
making it go
all over the
place due to
the cold temps
blowing from the
polar vortex that
froze the foam
making him look
like the bat
that just $hit
icicles, that caused
frostbite on tender
parts of organs
making them fall
into a barrel
where they quickly
disappeared from the
sight of mortal
men, reaching for
them through the
dark murky water
when, it happened...
a pickled bats
that was swimming
instead of flying
around the big
elks head hanging
from upside its
rear end behind
the pointy bits
that extend out
from its head
causing a massive
headache with resulting
very bad temper
that was expressed
by lots of
cursing,swearing and
shoving horns up
and middle fingers
where they shouldn't
giving false signals
because that's wrong
and upsets everyone
making PIAs everywhere
which hurt your
sensitive soul causing
grief, that can
build up & up
like a big
zit and then
someone will pop
out into their
otherwise boring but
extremely ugly green
Pinto, that they
were given for
a broken wrench
which seemed fair
considering the economy
is down the
wrench did not
loose any value
until someone smacked
the starter motor
with a hammer
Causing injury to
the pinky on
his buddies left
hand from the
hammer slipping from
the shelf, over
their heads and
bounced over the
wooden crate by
the shelf and
through the window
with the glass
chandelier near by
that was always
bumping the heads
of the inhabitants
that were busy
remembering to duck
every time the
y sat down to
dinner at the
pancake house that
opened 24 hrs
except on Sundays
when it was
making hot dogs
a foot long
served on 6"
buns found on
the bench out
side soaked from
K9 urinary practices
causing a stink
and a soggy
piece of bread
doesn't hold a
bit of chance
at keeping a
slice of butter
from making contact
or tasting good
due to the
mold under the
edge of crust
hidden by some
over hanging foot long dog
without mustard and
double relish with
a dab of
sauce and cheese
from the pot
of off casts
of iron from
the local foundry
located down by
shanty town near
the rail tracks
abandoned long ago
when the mine
collapsed and trapped
the whole shift
without food and
only one DVD
of captain nemo
to watch on
a small 22"
black and white
relic from the
last century from
a large island
off the coast
of the continent
in the southern
pacific ocean where
all those crazy
people with the
funny accent and
really cool tans :icon_smile_cool:
hunt defenseless whales
and are hunted
using only slingshots
and little rocks
by the whale
tail mounted on
a really big
black ram van
showing toughness and
attitude with style
while towing broken
branches out of
moonshine country where
fire wood was
burning too hot
which meant the
alcohol burnt off
and caused an
extremely hot fire
singeing the beard
Uncovering my discise
so everyone could
could tell I
was really a
Ford and Chevy
owner hiding from
the awesomeness of
the light generated
from the glow
from under the
dash of the
best car ever
of mopar family
the one and
only true muscle
unless on steroids..
when fake muscle
has no go
just lots of
farts coming from
fart cans on
Mustang's and Camaro's
that really wanted
to sound muscular
but really sounded
like someone spitting
and coughing after
A big breath
of hot air
released from someone
other than Betty
boop who does
sings like a
chipmunk with asthma
sniffing cocaine with
a table spoon ;)
full of crack :shruggy:
would kill you :o
or brain cells
that never were
used anyway so
they won't be
missed by those
chipmunks stupid enough
to start singing
when they should
be collecting nuts
even though the
snow will be
thin on the
Spring morning of
warm sunshine and
the clear sky's
to melt all
remaining ice chunks
to make the
channel safe to
little swan boats
full of lots
of daredevils that
don't mind chilly
winds or frozen
toes, knee's and
other appendages that
should have been
tucked away out
of harms way
somewhere warm and
very dark like
to hide from
crabs and seagulls
flying over by
their right shoulder
to find out
if anything's up
for grab's or
trying to grab
the thingy that
fred lost made
in China by
very skilled workers
with at least
a basic understanding
of some extra
cash for 48hrs
but didn't, instead
taking a credit
card from his
pocket that was
not his to
use as he'd
Stole it from
the jolly green
martian, that was
Sand man with
bad skin, but
Hair was fine
like goldilocks from
the strip club
down the street
but, was she
a real blonde
easy enough to
check very closely
while watching the
short curly little
guy in front
cover his eyes
and run from
the really huge
black hairy mass
built like a
Biscuit eating bulldog
with no teeth ;D
but huge gums
but no lips
and no tongue
just a throat
but no tonsils
unless something's fishy
smelling you would
look between their
three toes to
looking for excess
unknown stuff, because
you never know
what tastes good ;)
might pass badly
in the night
in the sheets
without noticing how
wet it's getting
outside over by
the opened window
that won't close
due to the
fact that it
was propped open
with a piece
from a Hemi
that was as
stroked as a
hemi can be
topped with a
huge pile of
goodies for mopar's
but not for
the newer engines
cuz, that's silly
as they won't
fit on mopeds
that means walking
to the closest..
or coming out
of the closet
to admit to
secretly loving GM
and fondling Ford's
and generally being
too embarrassed to
be really useful
for making sandwiches
with white bread
Bacon lettuce tomato
, must be tosated
whatever that is :icon_smile_big:
must be toasted... :icon_smile_big:
I don't know whats wrong with this keyboard... :brickwall:
whatever that is
It's window 8 :brickwall:
with a side
still got 7 :icon_smile_big:
of deep fried
I sure miss XP, didn't mind windows 7 :2thumbs:
ice cream balls
made from cream
from mountain yaks
milked by elves
that are professional
fulltime yak wranglers
who graduated from
yak wrangling school
with a degree
in yak cheese
making process with
a credit in
fermenting toe jam
into head cheese
that must be
eaten by Midwesterner's
because no-one else
in their right
mind would put
bacon, lettuce, and
head cheese on
a piece of
moldy bread left
over from last
years thanksgiving feast
to be used
for bread pudding
and stuffing for
lactating Canadian parrots
which only roost
during a certain
time of year
to specially breed
in the moldy
fur balls of
hairy mountain trolls
letting them hang
off bridges from
their extra hairy
mountain trolls arms
just like a
ape man from
out of the
lowlands up by
the highlands near
the sidelines next
to ma's café
where they serve
croc burgers and
Chocolate covered grasshoppers
every Thursday afternoon
with bug juice
to wash it
down before cake
and ice cream
sandwiches melted all
together for added
Stickiness between her
fingers while eating
peanut butter from
the jar with
with a rusty
piece of tin
found metal detecting
in bobs backyard
that was left
of the bit
that was broken
up when bob
pressed too hard
on the accelerator
of his Mustang
while parking in
rented swamp land
where swamp monsters
lie in wait
for unsuspecting victim's
to leave their
their jalopy's unattended
so they could
sneak up and
Urinate in the
gas tank so
the car will
be running on
low octane until
it get to
the high octane
additive that was
sitting on the
bottom of the tank waiting
to be shot
through the front
:slap:
of the supercharger
s bug catcher so
It would catch
big bad bugs
And small birds
and spit them
out all over
the pavement behind
the new brothel
the best place
to get some
rubber on the
little thing hanging
out the back
that should be
kept in front
for taking a
things off low
shelf and put
in your pocket
for safe keeping
hoping no one
will wash it
before someone see's
Where's Maxim? :shruggy:
what is hidden
Don't know. I know at one point he hung out on the CGLFC. Just happy I ain't being called inferior or whatever else he called everyone.
in the bottom
seems to be lots of players MIA at the moment :shruggy:
just waiting to
I haven't heard from Fred either. Might have to drop him a message.
be found by
the long awaited
king of pocketses
and some more
drinks for everyone :cheers:
with chips and
peanuts for all
who also bring
something to put
into the kitty
poor poor kitty
that was left
bow legged and
tailless from a
n interaction with a
unknown unseen object
running over and
going through the
neighbor's freshly cut
Brazilian hair cut :D
That looked for
grubs and worms
long enough to
poke their heads
through the hole
in the end
of the tiny
little appendage that
will later be
stuck in his
little back pocket
kept just for
that special occasion
on lonely nights
when warmth is
laying next to
you cause you
goofed up and
sh*t the bed
while dreaming about
building a brick
boat, hoping that
it wont sink
before they reach
the shallow water
of the pond
in the back
woods down from
the beaver dam
that caused flooding
where it was
being reinforced by
more rodents from
the hi-way to
the outer road
there were millions
following Ben to
visit Michael at
his ex-boyfriend's condo
in downtown east
LA under the
pollution from the
out of tune
Honda's, Toyota's and
other assorted trash
that needs compacting
before being turned
into toasters or
microwaves for the
next wave of
new home owners
that can't afford
a free lunch
and bottle booze
living on the
bread line with
a repo'd truck
and no other
transportation to help
get them to
Sturgis for bike
week and all
the knockers you
can look at
until your eyes
go blood shot
and your seeing
monkeys with paddles
around every corner
throwing poo everywhere
And laghingly taunting
as they run
naked in the
streets causing panic
throughout the city
as poo flinging
was hitting everyone
in their Sunday
Go to meetin
outfits that revealed
just how vain
they can be
when it comes
monkeys jumping on
a jumping castle
full of helium
making it lighter
to float the
messy hairy yobo's
to Fred's island
in the middle
of the pond
in the back
behind the cathouse
falling apart due
to lack of
whale poachers that
write 5 instead of 3
letters home to
whoops
mum on her
think everybody has done it :cheers:
birthday to tell
all from the
big surprise that
was waiting around
the corner by
the back door
locked by the
cleaning lady last
night after she
did her duty
and quietly slipped
out the hidden
servants entrance around
by the bar
so that no-one
would see who
really did all
dipping into the
sauce while no-one
else saw her
hook up a
electric bong app
to get fried
on new wave
weed from the
organically grown and
harvested by hand
and carefully packed
for later use
or sold to
local clothing manufacturers
or sweat shops
for that extra
cheap pricing on
the street market
on Friday night
at the big
adult book store
that just opened
next to the
Vaseline factory near
the rubber trees
used to make
tires and some
other prophylactic products
that sometimes don't
keep the stuff
from going into
where you don't
THINK THEY SHOULD
causing troubles for
the new parents
who had unexpectedly
Pooped their pants
when the stick
was pulled out
revealing a blue
ribbon long enough
To tie their
ears flat against
their hat so
prevailing winds blowing
past don't cause
ear aches or
cause a whistle
That would attract
unsightly creatures from
all over the
park to scramble
in the hole
and rub the
hair off their
little fuzzy wuzzy's
in your ear
allowing them to
leave a sticky
feeling under his
left ear lobe
where the ring
left an impression
from the pressure
from the other
piece of felt
hanging down on
the left side
with a feather
stuck in her
hat worn at
the gathering for
disadvantaged teen aged
yak herding trolls
specially trained for
the running of
hairy mountain trolls
who don't normally
eat chocolate covered
bunny's but will
when the moon
is over Miami
beach on Saturday
while pigs fly
north by northwest
guided by a
yellow homing pigeon
equipped with a
rocket up his
little tiny tight
fitting flying vest ;D
with extra pockets
for some extra
bubble gum for
sticking under the
seat while waiting
for Darth Vader
and the stormtroops
to sit down
for afternoon tea
in the company
of the black
haired, green eyed
long fanged codswallop
that took over
from big bad
And wtf is codswallop???
daddy bear and
codswallop
/ˈkɒdzwɒləp/
noun
Brit.informal
noun: codswallop
1.
nonsense.
"I think that's a right load of old codswallop"
little Ms. Muffet
playing with her
Thanks. Had heard it before......just wondered if it was Aussie for something else.
three blind bandicoots
don't know about aussie how about grandma ;D
who were easily
seduced into doing
something that only
can be seen
in the dark
with certain equipment
that snap on
and let you
keep hands free
while breathing heavily
and leaving sticky
buns for those
that come after
the work is
set to begin
but before the
caterer could deliver
the chopped liver
It turned green
And melted the
handle off the
heavy frying pan
that fell on
the floor burning
hearts of desire
are easily broken
into shards and
there really sharp
like shark teeth
that sheared the
flesh from passing
illegal immigrants that
cant speak English
when spoken to
and just look
dazed and confused
after being hit
with a fry
, a heavy pan
for cooking goose
and chicken lips
in red wine
fried cricket wings
is a rare
delight for nudists
who happen to
dip their wick
in the bushes
in the end
of the 7th
appendage in the
phony looking mannequin
with to many
pairs of suspenders
wrapped around its
multi coloured, life
sized yellow squirmy- magigit
that grossed out
all that saw i
it after it'd
threw up some :puke:
left over lunch
on a Ritz
with chunks of
blue cheese from
last nights snack
just after that
and before the
episode with the
really weird little
yellow thing in
his monkeys butt
that slowly emerged
over 14 days
. In other news,
little red riding
hood winked the
local yokels out
of a free
monkey slap by
seeing no evil
hearing no evil,
but speaking sh*t
about 4door Barracudas
that never were
but will be
like 4dr Charger's
at the next
open ceremony of
you build it
before the deadline
or get ragged
by the monkeys
who are in
next to the
animals that bite
Where's Fred? :shruggy:
like big mosquitoes
Haven't seen him on here......hope everything is well.
with jet packs
and a saddle
For their big
hairy mountain troll
had gearbox problems and is fixing them last I heard all was well
riding competition that
requires thighs of
extraordinary strength and
fish net stockings
made of wire
and bungee cords
to hold them
onto a huge
hairy mountain troll
form fitting saddle
for riding competition
dressage for trolls
ogres , leprechaun's, dwarfs
had their own
toothbrushes for the
pointy fang bit
protruding like buckteeth
from the back
of his lips
on his misshapen
broken jaw bone
that belonged to
the wicked witch
with flying monkeys
that were slinging
monkey muk at
anyone who ignored
the wicked witch
who talked like
she was high
as a monkey
with a snoot
rocket dangling mercilessly
out the other
window of the
old out house
down behind the
big old garage
filled beyond belief
with old leaven's
and other big
knobbly bits that
get your attention
on their way
from nowhere towards
somewhere at extreme
dreaming by smoking
hot umbrella babes
while drinking some
hot coco from
a fancy mug
designed for beer
attracting looks from
anyone that holds
everyone at a
distance of about
about six feet
and 4 1/2 inches
is not much
if you're looking
at how much
dirt it will
hold compared to
concrete to fill
up the massive
trench dug to
let the water
out of the
massive hole dug
for hot Hershey's
to run down
the left leg
and the other
type of fluid
could go where
no one had
let it go
into something else
releasing pressure from
the lower parts
out thru the
gap between the
rims of the
glasses used for
sniffing between the
ears of low
hanging, big round
faced dancing bats
and small prancing
performing field mice
that were cute
until the cat
became hungry and
mice were on
borrowed time and
soon on the
school bell rang
in the dream
of the elder
the future was
bright and cheerful
then he woke
up screaming about
holes in the
ceiling where some
things were crawling
That looked like
they had been
up underneath the
ass end of
one of the
dromedaries from over
across the big
salt water pond
That he swam
across before breakfast
Where he caught
a crab nibbling
on someone's toe
jam sandwich with
rocky mountain oysters
served up rare
on some ice
with a big
slice of raw
spicy hot peppers
to make your
spicy hot sauce
to dip your
choice of big
toes or fingers
cleaning them as
you lick them
from sticking them
where they aren't
suppose to go
you feel guilty
in your dreams
of hot burning
hot pepper fingers
dipped in ranch
dressing with pickles
crushed into relish
canned for future
generations to study
maybe if there
nuclear meltdown occurs
and buries everything
the walking dead
is about zombies
called walkers that
walk :scared: silly show
and stiff like
a Viagra addicts
wanting more and
not being able
find some because
the third leg
was broken off
in the wall
and hooked on
the knobbly bit
causing BIG trouble
cured by a
shot hopefully and
a big sip
of Dutch courage
And puff of
wacky tabacy before
licking a acid
covered day old
moldy crab cake
that he found
on the cartoon
about the beavers
after sponge bob
did the dishes
and scrubbed tables
for minimum wage
so low that
he sold himself
for a dollar
to the local
miss county pageant
for use as
a super model
foot stool and
back support for
those with none
or missing backbone
jelly fish really
taste better with
a slice of
vegemite and some
peanut butter and
mayonnaise with some
honey to make
a tasty sandwich
to give to
JB400 and Fred :shruggy:
or maybe teddybear
and burnout dog
who have all
went their separate
ways but maybe
they will show
that their secretly
looking on while
hiding in the
damp dark basement
just waiting to
scare the socks
off an unsuspecting
cellar dweller so
beware of the
dog out front
that's drooling rivers
to fill the
planter boxes with
all that gooey
and juicy saliva
good for trapping
small and tastey
titbits for latter
when everyone else
have passed out
on the lawn
leaving the house
belonging to the
partiers empty so
the kids can
freely stuff their
nostrils with various
candy straws or
m&m's resulting in
a plugged up
hose, which eventually
caused a massive
blowout of the
very precious materials
normally out the
small rear exit
under pressure resulting
in a big
banana split for
an interesting affect
to the lower
extremities not covered
causing some pain
on the inner
most part of
what you'd expect
to be low
range frost bite
on the hanging
bits left out
swinging in the
warm summer breeze
so chaffing wasn't
noticed until you
pulled out your
TV Guide to
look for a
free movie ticket
to take to
the movies to
watch a free
Animated adult film
for the kinkiest
and the weirdest
of them all
shown at the
three bears house
till the pigs
waded through the
hoarder's house with
the bears following
carrying some honey
to help the
maid make some
sweet treats for
little red riding
a pogo stick
bouncing up and
higher than a
geriatric can jump
over weasel turds
on top of
a blood moon
equals bad mojo
for seven years
so lookout for
anything that resembles
weasels crapping in
chevy glove boxes
explaining chevy smell
wafting from the
messed up driver
side open window
where the monkey
was off like
a shot in
a burst of
methane gas from
the back exit
lit by a
small pilot light
producing blue darts
of flame like
a torch cutting
through steel plate
covering a treasure
that time forgotten
to let out
for everyone to
grab a handful
of :popcrn: before
settling in for
a Friday night
to watch dirty
Cartoons with big
vines and monkeys
(http://i1324.photobucket.com/albums/u619/polywideblock/vbye.jpg) (http://s1324.photobucket.com/user/polywideblock/media/vbye.jpg.html)
carrying stolen stuff
hidden in various
places around fred's
shed out back
where he keeps
his beast amongst
his collection of
native birds and
poo throwing monkey's
with paddles to
keep his birds
out of the
way of his
elephant which don't
care for mice
that could step
with a heavy
mouse inspired imprint
like a robot
squirmyrooter that is
laying low to
surprise the owner
of a new
squirmyrooter whether you
like it or
not as it
will always be
with you now
like it was
always meant to
be from days
and weeks of
the constant bickering
from co-workers about
the raw onion
left in the
fridge making unpleasant
odors growing green
scum on the
crisper and the
milk smells awful
as you drank
last weeks leftovers
before vigorously tossing
in the towel
on top of
the old chair
left on the
roof of the
dunny out back
that was clearly
in no condition
to take the
added weight of
Santa clause landing
with his reindeer
carrying many gifts
in his sack
that had to
be emptied every
time he saw
an outhouse with
a roof for
napping and taking
a peek at
who's taking a
tinkle under their
reindeer powered sleigh
which would be
slathered with bacon
fat to make
it more enjoyable
for sensitive noses
that crave the
smell of well
cooked meat located
on the BBQ
with some hickory
for that lovely
hickory flavoring and
a hint of
seasonings from a
itchy spot just
below the belt
line but slightly
where my little
finger fits perfectly
inside the tiny
little space left
open by a
totally unsuspecting candidate
of no good
use to anyone
so we'll let
them and their
total useless skills
go somewhere where
someone will appreciate
a skill that
is no longer
thought of as
asset to the
one and only
building of a
a place to
see the greatest
show on earth
starring the famous
wobby headed duck
and his brother
a one eyed
cyclops without a
cup of sugar
to make a
sweetened iced tea
to go with
some coffee cakes
and scones for
that morning break
known as 11ses
where everyone has
tea and scones
for breakfast before
lawn bowls for
the upcoming showdown
between the old
timers in their
sensible shoes and
hoveround electric chair
with the really
fast turbo option
to mow down
the tallest grass
in one pass
without a hesitation
to worry about
or even considered
last years sprinkler
that broke from
being run over
by a crazy
lawn mower driver
on turbo boost
equipped with nitrous
so he didn't
decide to get
"happy" it just
happen to fall
over and roll
next to a
great big hairy
salamander that was
trying to get
back home to
the lower circle
where it keeps
the Hotwheels from
under the fridge
with dust bunnies
caught in the
crack of my
butt left there
dark skid marks
and crusty bits
of things called
back from the
grave where some
thing crawled up
to scout out
for zombie killers
and have lunch
in the park
while hunting for
the keys lost
for the lowrider
broken down over
by the bar
which was handy
for thieves to
get a shot
or three before
stealing from friends
who had 6
little monkeys sitting
on the dash
waiting for someone
to try and
knock off with
the cigarettes that
were left from
sat nights cruise
from years ago
from days gone
when it was
a memorable moment
to go to
and stand around
while having a
ice cold Coke
and a cheese
ball leftover from
the last time
visiting Fred's backyard
for fun and
a big BBQ
with snags for
the long weekend
as everyone loves
Fred's bunk beds
and watching birds
takes your mind
off missing members
that are not
here any more
or don't like
to play word
games or post
for months and
not letting friends
know where they
are all right
or where they
Might have gone
to play with
Chargers all by
themselves. Meanwhile, back
in the day
when you could
buy American made
knowing it was
done correct to
the standards of
the original quality
even if it
doesn't look like
a whole lot
compared to some
things that are
cheaper to duplicate
using cheap Chinese
machines or inferior
over the border
stuff massed produced
by those that
don't care about
anything except their
own or other
workers break time
while smoking weed
before during and
still waiting on
someone with a
big enough hammer
to make the
original part for
it fit right
with some persuasion
with the universal
tool called a
boilermakers best friend
used for making
anything fit anything ;D
on any model :icon_smile_big:
with no argument
from the bystanders
with hands on
experience in the
extreme use of
forged hand tools
to make things
better and to
demonstrate to all
who's best overall
at making a
useful tool that
can persuade anything
to fit in
everything or be
the thing fitted
but loose as
the hole is
open to try
to attract the
weirdest thing from
the other side
you can imagine
some weird shit
going on between
hammer and hole
is his head
called a mouth
big enough to
swallow gold fish
whole without a
dab of tarter
sauce or lemon
juice squeezed from
Florida's best grown
super sized crop
fertilized by a
giant honey bee
on a mission
building the biggest
honeycomb known to
the bee keeper
but no-one else
can find out
cause its all
hidden beneath a
big blue tarp
on property owned
by someone other
than the thieves
or their bro's
who will share
in all the
glory of the
final hunt for
the giant cone
to finish off
and then sleep
for three days
before having a
swim in the
bowl whilst going
bare naked with
Vaseline to aid
from cheerios scratches
received while rolling
off the spoon
onto your legs
via other regions
causing some rashes
and itchy bits
of raised bumps
and oozing lumps
of stuff with
green threads of
ham. Dr.Suess said....
some really weird
things going on
in the armpits
of Harry and
his girl sue
ellen who lived
three streets over
from bob and
silent jay at
Enmore in Sydney
the hatted rival
group that always
steals the shows
because they have
the greatest actors
anyone had ever
been called a
poor little sport
because of a
mishap that happened
while standing on
a street corner
waiting for someone
to buy a
joint made from
cedar chips that
look and smell
just like a
real one only
made from a
pile of chocolate
ice cream with
coffee syrup on
top with marshmellows
with a cherry
and strawberry syrup
followed by a
huge shot of
butt chugged vodka
followed by some
nasty bathroom experiences
at gas stations
on the way
to see the
giant yarn ball
located next to
the biggest cat
fireworks stand in
that place around
by the hostel
at the back
where the trash
cans are kept
safe from hungry
trash divers who
want a place
where fussy people
pick through the
main course but
leave the tasty
bits on the
outer side of
the plate for
someone else to
scavenge from the
tasty leftovers of
previous meals waiting
and rotting until
some lucky scavenger
stumbles over them
and has a
blue plate special
slightly soiled from
dirty fan blades
dropping dust bunny's
in every direction
covering all in
dust bunny poo
which sticks like
molasses in January
attracting fly's like
bee's to honey
that bears like
to coat their
face and paws
with peanut butter
before running naked
into the forest
chasing Goldie locks
where she dropped
her spoon and
bent over to
make ready for
a little mess
and a lot
of fun with
all sorts of
little electronic gadgets
that vibrate and
reduce stress to
the point of
distraction that will
be the downfall
of modern civilization
with every cross-eyed
gyration and moan
caused by the
that vibrate and
oscillate, and pulsate
making it very
entertaining to watch
whilst having a
:wave:
small pint of
cherry flavored lube
applied to your
soon to be
well used oversized
ego that didn't
work any good
the last time
someone tried to
stick their finger
to plug the
hole in the
bottom of the
upper hole between
the two small
peach looking things
that vibrate when
touched or moved
which causes it
to loosen up
and fall off
making a mess
when exploding on
the special moment
that only comes
at the moment
of absolute final
season finale without
any chance of
producing another greatest
hit for one
of the greatest
that ever was
to walk down
and put a
spin on it
so that it
rock the world
with groovy tunes
of classic rock
echoing off the
canyon walls near
to the parking
lot where the
back of the
elevator sat which
lead to the
really weird situation
that nobody wanted
but everybody got
all over them
dripping off their
lower hanging and
dangling bits that
stuck to their
shorts due to
the cold weather
freezing all their
inners and making
a very tough
time walking down
stairs as their
sometimes too steep
and taking large
steps will cause
the frozen bits
to fall from
baggy leg of
the skinny dinosaur
trying to find
Barney the purple
people eater who
liked Minnesota Vikings
cause their tasty :shruggy:
little treats served
The Minnesota Vikings (football team) were known as the purple people eaters
http://www.vikingupdate.com/history/historyprofiles/people-eaters.html
at half time
with a cold
one where its
needed to help
ease the burning
from eating spicy
food that causes
blisters in your
stomach and on
the cheeks of
the lower body
back bits that
are sat on
when sitting down
in a Lazyboy
while eating popcorn :popcrn: :popcrn: :popcrn:
and drinking beer :cheers:
and peperoni pizza
with extra cheese
and crispy crust
for dipping later
after you have
left some sauce
in your beard
hanging just below
with the other
bits kept for
snacking later tonight
after you've gone
to see fireworks :patriot:
and had a
foot long hotdog
for supper as
dessert wasn't available
and everyone wanted
a piece of
what they couldn't
get else where
which meant they
got creative to
see who could
have the biggest
and the baddest
most awe inspiring
wedgie known to
modern man. Then
after untangling his
shoe laces and
crying, Maxim yelled
for all to
stop helping him
as help isn't
what he seeks
as the challenge
isn't to get
people that upset
they call for
in this forum
for a lynching ;D
by good folks
who don't like
know-it-all wannabe's
who correct everyone
on his threads
right or wrong
like tuner guys
who know-all but
rev their weed-eaters
with fart cans
big enough for
people to spot
and laugh at
while telling stories
about Chargers and
the ricers they
regularly humiliate with
their massively overpowered
big block engines
shredding rubber as
they launch from
the starting line
leaving them choking
from smoke rolling
a big fatty :D
made from weed
grown in the
highlands of Colorado
which makes it
legal to purchase
medically in some
cities located near
to the source
where it's grown
picked and dried
to categorize by
taste and buzz
light year brand
ready rolled scoobies
meant to last
at least a
little longer than
the last pack
made in China
from weed grown
hydroponically without any
help for the
watering system that
dave built for
growing lettuce and
now its being
introduced to medical
students as the
new paycheck of
the new age
where failed education
leads to no
reason to study
as there are
nothing to learn
at school that
know it all's
haven't got off
the interweb search
youtube how-to videos
revealing and explaining
all the wonders
of performing a
radical tonsillectomy on
a billy goat
named Billy Bob
the billy goat
needing tonsillectomy because
eating tin cans
with opened lids
will do that :o
much damage and
make the poop
sharp as a
chewed up tin
soldier that went
through side ways :scared:
leaving a scare
from his ass
along his side
and back to
his belly button
which is really
a surgical opening
used to remove
a little bit
left from brother
tom and sister
suzie with her
monkey on my
motorcycle, doing wheelies
while throwing bananas
up others tailpipes
causing a huge
explosion that decimated
the exhausts weakest
link the muffler
without a warranty
which meant that
time for TTi
develop a massive
new exhaust system
that sets off
car alarms when
tested out properly
by driving fast
in first gear
and chirping second
from 6 grand
blowing by Fords
in top gear
leaving dust everywhere
making them cough
and jaw drop
before realizing that
Mopar does rule
without any question
as they watch
your taillights disappear
into the cloud
of tyre smoke
and burning rubber
made by massive
tire warming displays
that intimidate the
Ford and Chevy
owners who don't
know a thing
about anything other
than paying someone
to slow down
to make them
look like they
can keep up
with the big
powerful mopar motor's
in our awesome
cheby eating machines
leaving others jealous
while watching taillights
disappear into the
distant far ahead
so fast that
made them frown
thinking how did
mother do it
in the backseat
spreading the most
wanted thing around
also known as
hair pie or
a fluffy cookie
good enough to
savior like fine
wine aged just
before you indulge
those animalistic urgings
while drinking a
gallon of her
favorite vintage grape
Boone's farm beverages
that hits the
spot when needed
the most just
before falling asleep
and sleeping the
day away until
they woke up
to find someone
with their hand
slowly moving down
into parts unknown
to find a
large surprise waiting
that was lost
as quickly as
your first girlfriend
who was shocked
at your news
that Stanley's size
was unacceptable for
humans and more
so for consumption
of edible rubber
dog toys called
a big Kong
made of tough
durable reinforced rubber
with ridges for
dental hygiene in
between tight spaces
near the back teeth for
that cleaner feeling
when bitten by :slap:
the love bug
leaving Herby herpes
happily scratching away
at the rash
while wondering what
that crazy VW
connects rash to
a big bite
of tainted meat
from the left
thigh bone with
the drumstick still
attach by some
left over bubblegum
with broken teeth
on the saw
blade from cutting
something that it
wasn't designed for
thus rendering it
Useless for all
but cutting butter
to top pancakes
with syrup for
that afternoon snack
which will spoil
the night away
when heart burn
hits like a
knife in the
chest just missing
supper time striking
out while playing
duelling banjo's on
the movie called
what was it
could be Deliverance :icon_smile_big:
squeal like a
pig in shit
hot ecstasy at
the sunrise motel
for just a
simple hot bath
with toast and
a hot chick
for breakfast, after
some hot tea :drool5:
to go with
peanut butter toast
without peanut butter
that was left
off the menu
by a unknown
office worker who
knew a good
place to sleep
under the stars
watching the moon
as it rose
over the East
making the countryside
eerie from fog
especially in the
heat of night
way down south
in the louisiana bayou eating
crawdads ;D
with coleslaw and
Whoops, I had five finger up at the time :icon_smile_big:
cobs of corn
grilled over a
charcoal grill with
karaoke attachments for
real hot tunes
at the next
crawdad cook out
with in house
plumbing to amuse
those used to
dance around nude
and use a
rubber duck like
it wasn't meant
to fantasy about
ducks and olive
extra virgin oil
oven set to ;D
bake the feathers
and crisp the
duck lips with
Pasty crisco oil
which is also
use to help
an itchy scalp
high and low
from those pesky
jiggers that bite
and itch and
suck your blood
like female mosquitoes
leaches with wings :yesnod:
and big teeth
all the better
To bite with
to make a
huge bite mark
left by huge
buck teeth like
Bucky beaver and
wet loosey lucy
is lucy juicy
in her panties
getting ready for
the big night
at the football
game between the
best LFL teams
and NFL teams
which was confusing
of the rules
and the bra's
that players wear
to keep their
man boobies from
upstaging the girls
without any big
boobies to get
in their way
which streamlined things
and sped up
playing the ball
while the cheerleaders
were scratching themselves
with boredom because
the men were
watching LFL ladies
out play themselves
and actually doing
better than other
people give them
credit for playing
a serious game
called strip poker
where a full
figured amazon woman
can do anything
even wrestles alligators
which is good
if alligators attack
when no one
else is around
except the alligators
and big amazons
man eating woman
is only natural
when served with
special sauce and
shaving cream because
no-one likes hairy
especially when down
on your luck
and scraping the
wallet to buy
replacement clean undies
to replace soiled
units that were
left out years
ago and weren't
ready for competition
judging in the
panty eating contest
was obviously rigged
He ate only
well laundered undies
with holes where
the material was
worn thin from
the protruding thing
on her left
arm called a
elbow in most
normal human beings
but where she's
going, it's called
next weeks much
over rated news
about the tennis
love match by
You paid what
for that ford
to do what
you could have
got a mopar
and be happier
with life choices
if only you
knew now what
Tomorrow will bring
instead of waiting
for sales on
nos parts that
prices keep rising
faster than the
the national debt
with no end
now in sight
for the coming
of the second
round of disaster
just around the
bend next to
that nice little
lemonade stand with
the cute blonde
wearing daisy dukes
short shorts that
had a opening
in a certain
area called a
tush to some
heaven to others
pleasures to most
all who looked
down in between
the sweet buns
or up from
those cute feet
you are into :D
the middle bits :yesnod:
called toe jam
by Ethel's sister's
and uncle dad
who knew it
before playing with
a ball of
cheese and crackers
rolled up from
A green plant
that tastes like
chicken and fish
so it must
Be moldy cheese
on toast for
you to eat
for a hearty
breakfast to start
the bowls working
to pass dinner
Lunch is soon
so make some
room for dessert
made special for
Juilus Caesar and
Cleopatra and Antony
and Cleo's asp
to make the
toga party rock
leaving them without
Any clothes on
covered in yogurt
and needing a
sponge bath from
the nearest slave
and feed grapes
as they relax
surfing the interweb
for likely suckers
to give a
sales pitch to
The unlucky victim
buying a bridge
over troubled waters
when they arrive
on a ferry
that's a one
hour ride to
hell and back
when they meet
the Wolfman and
his bride that
eats garlic cloves
before breakfast so
she can blow
garlic kisses at
vampires next door
waiting to take
a dirt nap
as flea control
may be useless
if they smell
garlic eating vampires
making out with
abandon in the
dark hidden caves
left from the
cave woman of
the Australian outback
searching for kangaroo's
for some fun
and games with
aahhh.....just what kinda fun with kangaroos are you talking about? :angel:
their furry partners
wouldn't you have to ask the aussie cave woman that's rolling around with the kangaroo :icon_smile_big:
going all out
seems if you filmed it........epic Utube vid!
to fulfil their
or 6 years inside :scratchchin:
kinky desires and
ride this all
into the lower
lands of oz
to take a
look at the
big bright rainbow
of delight and
wonder that will
show up her
amazing hair style
hanging down to
her knee's while
she grabs your
wallet while your
pants comes undone
leaving you feeling
totally helpless and
in a really
strange, weird way
liberated from all
sorts of restraints
and hangin' low
swinging in the
very dense vegetation
ticks and leaches
licking their chops
leap for the
unprotected, yet tender
bits dragging through
a perilous group
of non tendered
but about to
be happy chiggers
in case of language differences http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trombiculidae
when the sun
goes down and
the cloths get
left in the
insect infested brushes
of mighty jungle
where shame swings
and grown men
have scared sheep
in the land
of fruits and nuts
I can't count
the nuts so
hard like a
I can't count either
frozen piece of
yak discharge waiting
to be devoured
with great gusto
and frosty mug
of apple cider
so cloudy that
rain must surely
be overflowing with
great big huge
puss filled postule
covered racing tadpoles
to the end
of the large
mud flat that
held a puddle
of poodle pee
which splattered on
everyone near enough
watching in horror
, retching and gagging
coughing up bile
all over the
exhausted racing tadpoles
that were waiting
for a starting
sound coming from
the ass-end of
a dodge charger :icon_smile_big:
loud enough to
scare away nonbelievers
in mopar power
that no Chevy
or ford can
ever duplicate or
even get close
to our beloved
chariots of the
Mopar goddess known
for comfort and
sometimes an occasional
blast of speed
that leaves your
pants filled with
great big gonads
that hinders your
speed shifting abilities
due to friction
between your legs
and those huge
thighs on top
owned by the
person on top
with the deformed
head that looks
a bit wonky
like uncle dad's
back home at
the farm where
my sisters cousin
looked so hot
my brother had
to toss her
in the hay
to cover her
firm large ripe
melons from grandpa
who just loved
large firm melons
while Grandma loved
unsupported though sagging
preferring a firm
groin muscle with
ultra staying power
but settled for
what she could
find on her
pantry shelf, resulting
in a gigantic
misstate of some
proportion involving a
strangely titillating little
bottle of hot-sauce
to garnish the
tasteless dinner with
extra special attention
applying the hot
sauce that grandma
whip up from
down under her
Australian regions that
would be Tasmania :icon_smile_big:
:smilielol: :smilielol: :smilielol:
where Tasmanian devils
Ahhh.....never heard that particular area of the anatomy referred to as Tasmania.
are well fed
map of Tasmania ,looks like :scratchchin: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=map%20of%20tasmania
from the little
context......it's all about context isn't it?
crawly things that
can cause itching
and can jump
an incredible high
at least six
of the big
yards left by
jumping things doing
their exercises outback
of the woodshed
where firewood was
broken without an
ax woman dressed
as a lumberjack
complete with all
the pointy bits
of sharp unshaven
hairy spider legs
with Kevlar chaps
to unprickle the
the big one
so that contact
can be made
and et can
finally go home
cause Drew's sick
from all the
super sweet little
lollies she's been
daintily sucking at
whilst enjoying glowing
praise from the
crowd that were
clapping and cheering
while sitting in
a nice comfy
plastic fold up
white lawn chair
brought special for
early Christmas present
to tired butts
by the democrats
Who lost :woohoo:
which were kicked
is this presidential :shruggy:
out of their
comfy chairs by
the republican party :woohoo:
Senate seats
who partied all
thru the night
With politicians, there's no guarantee.....but it could be the start of something good......
until tea time
then start all
the same crap
over again that
made the public
switch seats so
to confuse everone
they took away
their best reason
to sit down
or get up
so they stayed
where no one
would notice and
go ahead with
back-up plan B
called morning after
make up nookie
which created irritation
from sand stuck
to the sausage
and not cleaned
before it was
inserted into the
bit that was
not ready for
the irritation that
was sure to
follow an uncleaned
opening called a
very tricky situation ;)
found only on
those without a
clue of what
a bucket of
sand will do
when thrown into
very sensitive area's
with wet paint
and scented candles
to entice romantic
thoughts whilst doing
the front stroke
and the sideways
whilst holding onto
your seat so
you sit tight
and don't fly
off the rocker
cause granny will
give you grief
if you break
any glass that
she just washed
and put in
the rack to
beer jug later
as granny chugs
her moonshine from
the bucket just
before the big
bad wolf huffs
then whistles at
granny chugging a
bottle of Ensure
before doing cartwheels
before the ambulance
arrives to take
granny to the
wakjob hotel where
doctor Frankenstein performed
frontal lobotomy's with
a rusted scalpel
and a soup
can that will
be inserted where
no man has
put a soup
can and a
feather duster into
the void created
in the right
corner over by
the small opening
next to the
smaller opening so
small, one needs
to look really
hard, with a
brush cutter to
find your way
through the undergrowth
to find the
long lost valley
of the dolls
in down town
around in back
and below the
belt line and
above the water
mark left by
the flood last
spring run off
made in the
high mountains of
the kingdom of
leaping pink dragons
where real men
are men and
be merry while
leaping pink dragons
blew purple smoke
up everyone's ass
that asked for
a yellow lollipop
doubled dipped with
sweet and sour
sauce with crunchy
bit of roasted
sherbet for that
crunchy sherbet craving
so bill oddie
BILL ODDIE:
Recreational or indeed hallucinatory drugs were integral albeit, replaced by sherbet, which Bill used to ingest in order to have "visions".
used too much
Never liked sherbet....was I missing something? :icon_smile_big:
and slept for
:scratchchin:
3 minutes, then
got up and
ate like a
man possessed by
the spirit of
his choice on
cheap hookers who
should retire soon
to rest up
to surf the
tide coming down
with the flu
giving it to
all the johns
on this earth
and those that
wish they were
but aren't because
life's a bitch
and ain't easy
when you've got
a life like
a battery hen
or street dweller
which is one
of many who
wonder after dark
in dark clothes
dodging cars as
they were tossed
about by Godzilla
and Stay Puff
the magic dragon
until it all
went up in
No man's land
before coming down
I'm calling it a day. Night night.
in a blaze
:wave:
of glory before
exploding in a
tin can with
a slow fizz
and a surprize
for those that
behaved the last
time I looked
But, that was
so long ago
in a galaxy
far far away
with the canaries
and budgerigars for
friendly pets that
crap on your
head and car
on purpose the
expected result being
a large white
sticky type of
secret little mark
from a little
friend on your
hidden livestock farm
in the basement
dungeon, where I
wear chaps and
Mexican silver spurs
to bed, not
to lose them
and to ride
on the merry-go-round
and round ;D
until hurling a
big lump of
dogs turd at
the front door
of the Grinch
because he stole
all the good
gifts, but left
the monkey crap
and broken bits
of the big
bang theory on
comedy night and
choked on peanuts
swiped from an
already obese chimpanzee
that refused to
stop throwing monkey
paddles at unsuspecting
Marx brothers, bunk
.......ing at Fred's
due for unexpected
sterilisation because they
mistook a coffee-grinder
for a bidet
making ground nuts
out of perfectly
good unground nuts
so remember always
bidet's are for
cleaning nuts and
tacos so don't
use the coffee-grinder!!!!!
or get better
directions to use
the left hand
because the right
is always busy
handing over money
and playing with
whatever's at hand
or in hand
if lucky enough
to have payed
a kings ransom
for the services
of a gardener
to trim bush
with a hedgetrimmer
while carefully missing
the tender areas
so as to
give best presentation
while bending over
gripping the ankles
ready with anticipation
of what is
coming up next
(http://models.teenyb.com/galleries/lindsay/brazilian_bikini_india/08.jpg)
to those firm
and tight buttocks
just screaming for
a perfect massage
while my left
nut hurts like
having blue balls
and throbbing like
a hammer struck
left nut and
slowly turning a
deep purple color
before dropping off
and leaving the
whole idea of
a matched set
of book ends
shaped like koalas
but made from
dynamite and cotton
for that explosive
but snuggly effect
that is quieter
on the ears
from the cotton
being blown into
the weeds and
causing a mess
for the maid
in the cute
French outfit without
much material used
to cover the
big wet melons
and moist melon-patch
to be viewed
(http://www.kaydenkross.com/galleries/dirty_french_maid/01.jpg)
again and again :drool5:
until a new
miss melon patch
takes her place
cleaning while undressing
slowly to reveal
what Victoria's Secret
(http://raredelights.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Alessandra-Ambrosio-to-Wear-the-Victorias-Secret-Fantasy-Bra-2013-1.jpg)
looks like when
at close range
with lights on
without make up
the morning after
pill wasn't used
as lack of
Enough Brain cells
to fill a
pencil eraser or
maybe a thimble
without a needle
to match the
finger nail polish
on her left
foot, which was
odd having three
legs on a
milk maids stool
used for milking
Siberian racing yaks
to make cheese
for the table
at poly's house
does yak cheese
and wheat crackers
make for a
very sticky mess
that smells very
much the same
on plain crackers
going in or
on the way
out, so eating
is an adventure
in breath holding
and taste sensations
equal to none
and a true
love long dead
feet smell that
lingers in the
nostrils long after
you leave the
opium dens behind
and look for
Sherlock Holmes to
find where your
left toe is
at, before that,
because the right
mind is in
the wrong head
board, causing a
mixed signal when
the color blind
one eyed ogre
looked at a
hairy mountain troll
and turned himself
right around and
into a roadside
bar for beer-goggles
and beer maids
that didn't look
near as bad
as horrible hairy
mountain woman roaming
the countryside looking
for unsuspecting innocent
inebriated fools waiting
to crash into
the basement of
your house and
throw up on
themselves over and
over leaving the
obnoxious odor until
the lady from
the cleaning service
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VkpQ43rCq0o/UJH6jrnGr5I/AAAAAAAABgg/jZI-OqHLaAg/s1600/French-Maid-Cleaning-Service.jpg)
starts to buff
the stripper pole
from top to
bottom until she
gets it just
the way it
needs to be
tight and tidy
just like her
tool hidden under
the little piece
you want to
lift up and
phone home with
all the details
of the trip
from front to
the last little
bit at the
very end of
the most exquisite
and very talented
Mr. Ripley and
that's a funny
with a strange
squiggly bit on
it to titillate
and to tempt
and entice with
a little honey
on the end
on the pole
with grease all
up and down
the other bit
to give it
the lubrication for
squeak free use
with no binding
or chaffing on
bits that might
be very painful
if rubbed raw
or chewed on
by pit bulls
helped by a Rottweiler
with an identity
crisis caused by
being raised as
a sheep dog
in cow country
where cowboys chased
sheep for fun
making sheep nervous
and men bold
enough to grab
some wool and
hold on while
moving the tail
to one side
for easy access
and convenient use
of the appropriate
anatomy your smelling
while dreaming of
the goat next-door
frighten from being
next to the
chicken coop with
chicken pluckers plucking ;)
every small bit
of pluckable chicken-flesh
that can be
plucked by a
very experienced plucker
who's extra fast
plucking the pluckable
leaving unpluckable unplucked ;D
yet plucking small
spots in between
the unpluckable bigger
chicken's being plucked
by chicken pluckers
perfecting their plucking
ready for the
annual plucking competition
the grand pluckoff
, plucker vs plucker
with duck pluckers
doing exhibition plucking
showing how Brazilian
pluckers plucked and
handled their duck
with a Brazilian
twist to everything
to keep in
trim while plucking
the Brazilian way
front to back
same to wipe
if your chicken
likes it that
way but ducks
want it differently
because duck dynasty
has shown everyone
how to make
cold duck soup
with chicken lips
as a side
with frog legs
for all to
spice their own
gumbo ,hot'n'spicy just
the way that
some like it
hot or without
any sea food
or "see" food
[open mouth chewing]
so no senses
like nothing else
that has been
experienced by newcomers
who have not
posted on forums
to be picked
to be winners
of a new
and improved contest
for those with
natural abilities to
whistle while having
a nude physical
workout at the
no-tell motel
rooms at hourly
rates with sheet
made of rubber
for easy cleaning
and baby oil
for that feeling
like your slipping
and sliding into
a huge puddle
of warm jello
ready to wrestle
in the famous
jelly wrestling challenge
with no rules
against removing their
tight bondage restraints
protecting sensitive little
nerds sitting in the corner
covered in lite
beer from the
wrong thread again :slap:
the keg that
easy to do :yesnod:
was tapped next
to supply the
wrestlers with a
drink for breaktime
so they could
refresh themselves during
a spell in
a spelling bee
a very unusual
sight with wrestlers
and bees in
in the same
hive created by
a blow up
naked woman carpenter
worried about splinters
that get lodged
in uncomfortable places
waiting for unsuspecting
and very small
little crawly things
that itch badly
causing them to
be scratched regularly
shedding flakes of
the embarrassing nighty
crusty, smelly, secretions
released during slumber :fart2:
in periodic emissions
making sheets float
over the mattress
making space for
little crawly things
to get in
and crawl around
causing a strange
tickling feeling under
the skin as
they dig in
and rummage around
until they find
a tasty nerve
to savor as
you dance around
trying not to
scratch and make
a big mess
with flaking skin
under your fingernails
from scratching so
hard on your
itchy bits that
are burning from
all the itching
from long fingernails
and a ballpoint
while pouring alcohol
on to stop
the itch, but
not the severe
pain from alcohol
getting in where
alcohol hurts to
have it get
into open wounds
where it stings
and hurts too
requiring a Band-Aid
and medicinal :cheers:
calming frayed nerves
and other frayed
bits still smarting
from the stinging
effect of the
disinfecting alcohol applied
to the frayed
nerves with shingles
which aren't very
easy to tolerate
as the itching
and stinging is
impossible to ignore
no matter how
distracting what your
neighbor looks like
(http://cache.desktopnexus.com/thumbnails/1862484-bigthumbnail.jpg)
you just can't
wait to borrow
some sun screen
and apply some
to exposed parts
that should be
protected from the
damaging affects of
harsh spring sun-light
keeping them soft
and supple for
those pleasurable events
where being soft
and supple can
be a drawback
not a plus
Flaccid........has got to be about the cruelest word in the english language. I can only think of one thing to use it to describe......
when it needs
to perform properly
to go too
the very end
to perform perfectly
and penetrate the
the real goal
not the alternative
though a possibility
during nocturnal fun
or afternoon delight
the question is
better in light?
if your allowed
at the table
with all the
disgusting eating habits :eek2:
where all the
woman smoke cigars
before ,during , after
the special performance
made suspended from
the ceiling with
extra bouncy elastic
and very strong
duct tape securing
plus cable ties
to keep your
cables tied to
your extra long
hairy bits down
next to the
short curly ones ;)
and long, skinny
fingers reaching for
that perfect spot
to make you
respond to the
single slightest prod
that will excite
those into prodding
excitable spots and
making others jump
left and right
For the chance
to be prodded
Again in the
latest online craze
elderly are into
knitting and stuff
mittens for kittens
get the picture
she sent you
with the ginger
snap cookie recipe
handed down from
generations as old
as the proverbial
sands of time
falling through the
cracks in the
very large glass
causing major leakage
on the floor
with resulting mildew
and slip hazards
that may inflict
multiple injuries to,
the funny bone
which isn't very
comical since the
funny bone connects
to the sensitive
bit at the
Tip of the
joint making it
throb in pain
instead of throbbing
from being frozen
solid to the
inside of the
school flag pole
leaving it exposed
but who seen
wasn't going to
going to fall
:rofl: I started this thread almost 3 years ago just to see if it would keep you guys busy and it worked. :rofl: :rofl: :smilielol:
You guys will post in any thread no matter how pointless it is. :nana:
Love, the skipster. ;)
wrong meds today
:scratchchin:
No, just the
roofie colada kicking
Quote from: skip68 on June 22, 2015, 09:12:22 PM
:rofl: I started this thread almost 3 years ago just to see if it would keep you guys busy and it worked. :rofl: :rofl: :smilielol:
You guys will post in any thread no matter how pointless it is. :nana:
Love, the skipster. ;)
Hmmm..........I thought it's main purpose was to boost one's post count. :yesnod:
So the reaction when someone reads your post is to think...."he's got 5 stars and over 4k posts.....he must know what he's talking about!" :angel:
who cares about
What skip post
from previous experience
its all just
words online that
Make no sense
until you decode
the "secret" message
decoded at DCforum
Written with crayons
on loo paper
That smells funny
and feeds over
rather then under
so everyone is
really mad for
the cat got
the best part
now on the
floor in a
shredded soggy mess
she found her
car keys in
the dead boys
kitchen while looking
for a cold
but getting the
orange slimy fluid
in- between her toes
Like red mud
in the crack
By the washita
dried out in
The Oklahoma sun
like deer jerky
at indian camps
just waiting for
the next train
to pass through
the Mississippi darkness
pushing all before
five hundred miles
latter they wake
To fade into
the oneness that
got the disappearing
bug early on
in spite of
The perfect shape
to blend in
with beer drinkers
and Texas cowgirls
at the rodeo
On a bull
riding machine nude
much to our
delight at the
size of their
counter rotating super
important thingamajig that
is kept in
the trunk of
a Chrysler Imperial
Left for days
at a time
all alone with
A rebal yell
playing on the
front porch with
giant speakers making
glorious obnoxious noises
to drown out
the silent alarm
in your head
Where the voices
direct you to
do the dance
or else you
go internally berserk
as well as
loose control of
All bodily functions
making quite a
need for new
Confederate flag rallies
.
call Robert E. Lee
To save our
chewy gum from
them dang yankeeys
that drive a
long way to
Screw things up
because they are
really good at
Starting something from
nothing causing everyone
a lot of grief
that ends
with a bang
so everyone is
Still not happy
until something else
goes bang and
and thump with
a squishy sloppy
sickening silence that
reverberated around the
stone walls of
the canyon of
ancient secrets that
kept everything ever
away from those
who would use
the secrets for
Sex, money, drugs
all wholesome things
For a rockstar
to over indulge
and forget all
that ever was
for a night
Of pure bliss
Swimming naked alone
in a tub
Of grape jello
that will be
a sticky situation
For all involved
making peanut-butter and
Spreading it all
over the wrestling
Ladies of the
200 plus club
requiring lots of
hugs and kisses
for combat trauma
Under the sheets
of slippery latex
Gloves that are
that were used
during the rectal
Examination and the
turkey carving latter
as well as
Pie throwing contest
where hair pie
, best dessert known
gets eaten slowly
Savoring every moment
carefully licking the
pie dish clean
of every drop
Of pure goodness
,natures gift to
Anyone who can
get some for
nothing, but thinks
Its a deal
to end all
arguments a comparison
for which no
equal could be
defended without a
complete taste test
involving connoisseurs from
both sides of
the better part
of the big
Man himself that
Faught for it
free pie for
Everyone in the
hot tub with
no clothes on :D
a cold November
day up north
Shrinkage down south
can be a
Problem when she
doesn't have her
Mittens on tight
enough not to
Completely cover her
unmentionables which were
mentioned earlier by
someone who shouldn't
have seen them
but wanted you
to know that
no matter what
slime sticks forever
unless you can
use the proper
Teflon coating to
slide easily in
the slime compound
That makes friction
only a memory
or maybe mammarys
are better slimed
For some crazy
fun between the
redheaded neighbor's daughters
comparing twin peaks
to other interesting
mounds that attract
attention like the
boy who called
for more of
that soggy orange
joy juice from
the McDonald's dumpster
, proving his masochistic
tendencies to all
who looked and
could not fathom
his thirst for
such unusual tasting
Back woods whisky
dumpster brewed for
those that like
"cooties" in their
"natural" blend that
is far from
most peoples tastes
unless mixed with
fried road kill
surprise for afternoon
hor d'oeuvres and
greasy fun after
a long week
of rabbit food
and stale beer
a strange diet
without equal anywhere
guaranteed to make
a dog gag
but the weight
is enough to
fill any gut
making hunger just
a lost memory
for many days
without the slightest
bit of bowel
left to find
the ragged end
covered with the
slippery yellow goo
that never dries
,just gets sticky
and smells like
that green oozing
from the sandwich
in the window
of the old
sandwich van out
near the curb
that smells like
roadkill surprise on
your mothers back
doorstep waiting for
more tenderizers so
tuff chewy bits
soften in the
sun making them
glisten like your
forehead after a
long marathon in
the mud with
Cowgirls wearing skimpy
outfits that would
not stand up
, a good feature
found in jeans
shorts with little
seam between her
delectable round assets
and looking like
a million dollars
would not get
a friendly date
With an overly
curvy stuck up
Man of leisure
the one and
Only guy who
uses his toes
to serve Jello
for added flavour
to round out
A three course
toe jam soiree
guaranteed to make
everyone want to
cough up hairballs
and other disgusting
particulates and liquids
stuck to the
yellow front teeth
of the pet
of the month
from far north
central Texas near
a scenic spot
known to only
a few intrepid
Dodge's that were
not possessive of
that smooth piece
Which moves up
and down with
Great speed that
one doesn't feel
Untill an explosive
reaction take place
Which results in
excess energy expelled
Followed by some
Abundant tire smoke
during the getaway
to parts unknown
at warp speed
in an old
flat bed pickup
powered by a
Massively Over Powered [And Respected]
218 flat head
with peak power
levels of almost
unprecedented torque for
pulling tree stumps
for later use
in gator wrestling
using them for
propping open the
gate so that
no blind cats
will blunder blindly
into the path
of waiting gators
becoming cat food
or kitty entree's
or bite-sized snacks
for hungry gator's
needing nourishing type
live bait for
catching that illusive
"big one" for
that "trophy" feeling
as well as
entertaining your friends
with tall tales
that can only
be found in
the trunk of
A beat up
sixty eight Charger
bought on craigslist
and restored to
Somewhat better condition
than when it
went on craigslist
the seventh time
in 3 years
unloved and molested
like your childhood
if you were
one of the
unloved and molested
disassociated malcontents that
dredge through the
bowels of the
city, looking for
New Old Stock
seat cushions for
the dicky seat
to finish the
the 34 coupe
Hemi-powered of course,
with chrome plated
grease nipples and
pink tipped with
double reverse overhead
adjustable vacuum diaphragm
for sexy nights
adjusting your diaphragm
so that she
take the keys
to the truck
that was just
about to be
painted with Krylon
black board paint
and pinstripes using
mixed colour crayons
and magic markers
to colour in
and around the
outline of the
spots of rust
skilfully drawn onto
every square inch
of lower panels
giving an illusion
to rat rod
or not to
be taken to
a desolate road
and put in
the driver's seat
of an old
and powerful Mopar
,pointed down the
drag strip ahead
and ready for
making glorious sounds
of awe and
engine power at
8000 rpm doing
speed shifts while
looking deep into
the bottom of
a coke can
that is crumpled
on your forehead
leaving a round
marble below the
balance point of
setting off the
hair trigger on
the mechanical secondaries
giving a sudden
kick in the
seat pants dyno
causing orifice oscillation
and escaping gaseous
fumes causing nausea
and lightheadedness which
can only be cured by
oral
and three words
at a time
fully spell checked
forwards and backwards
:yesnod:
including proper pronunciation
syntax and diction
for correct etiquette
at the table
and under it :icon_smile_big:
where you see :angel:
the dog waiting
for some free
goodies passed to
the guest sitting
across from the
other ,intercepted skilfully
without crumbs dropping
to be licked
from the fingers
cleaning the little
sticky bits from
the interesting crevices
between sticky fingers
oozing with cinnamon
and other secretions
loved by dogs
especially hound dogs
that haven't been
trained politically correct
and will lick
enthusiastically and with
much excess moisture
with reckless abandon
till all lickable
morsels and bits
have been licked
and sucked up
leaving only squeaky
lean fine chinaware
ready for next
week's family reunion
a most unpleasant
Smell in the
bathroom caused by
overconsumption of legumes
and the resulting
rapid expansion of
gasses produced in
agonizing abundance with
-in the guts
soon to exit
with loud bugling
to call every
one to lunch
for miles around
running with cutlery
instead of scissors
but just as
sharp and dangerous.
if used incorrectly
and without regard
for what's under
the child's bed
that is slowly
growing into a
" thing "under the
pretense of being
a long forgotten
annoying purple dinosaur
still with annoying
all his friends
with that song
you can't stop
bouncing around in
your head that
makes you want
to do this :brickwall:
whilst inserting knitting
needles attempting to
stop the voices
giving special instructions
on purple dinosaurs
that sing terribly
and make the
young kids vomit
from eating and
eating and eating
and then doing
it the way
barney does ,resulting
in this weird
hypnotic audio quality
like the pied
piper that used
his "flute" to
attract attention with
a vigorous waving
Of his rude
finger to attract
Someone from the
moral majority to
bury Barney and
stop that torture
of cleaning erasers
thrown from the
129th story balcony
with a long
chain of monkeys
with paddles for
an attempt to
paddle against the
effect of gravity
like pushing excrement
across shag carpet
with your fingers
and your toes
for that "muddy"
artistic appearance for
a "pro hart" look
carpet that needs
magic carpet dust
to fly it
to the Moon
to gather moonstone
and moon dust
To make a
high energy drink
to give to
the cow when
it makes milkshakes
That brings all
manner of flavours
except the favorite
chocolate because its
Poison to the
small green frilly
tree frogs with
coconuts and skirts
which makes hopping
a delicate endeavor
so flashing bits
of bare skin
unintended for all
to see with
unexpected results for
increasing the surprise
at viewing naked
bare skin that
really should be
savored in private
up close and
blurry without spectacles!
for those with
nothing better to
observe while doing
what they do
with reckless abandon
with the light
shining down on
the whole scene
so you can
see what your
bought at the
local corner store
run by the
local chapter of
Boy Scouts, so
girl guides were
enlisted to sing
for their supper
and their dinner
but breakfast was
kill and cook
, roadkill surprise "fresh "
and tenderized by
all 18 wheels
of a heavily
over loaded big
rig hauling ordnance
and KY jelly
for the most
smoothly lubricated projectiles
to grace the
loading ramps of
an enclosed trailer
that was enclosing
Hemi four speeds
ready to run
down the highway
at extreme speeds
between gas stations
which are impossible
at night during
black out conditions
caused by a
previous practice pass
knocking out power
as well as
phone and internet
causing grief with
the lost media
no tweets for
the foreseeable future
causing social media
addicts to collapse
having conniptions while
foaming and frothing
making a zombie
blush with a
full on woody
full of splinters
from rubbing it
trying to smooth
out the larger
knot in the
débutant's silk dress
caused by doing
somersaults over the
prize for the
most original display
of underwear on
the hood of
the christened car
owned by multiple
users, all wanting
the telephone number
stuck on the
side of the
drivers helmet where
medical personal could
see it plainly
and act accordingly
applying restraints as
needed to restrain
the unrestrainable for
long enough to
do the unmentionable
clearly warned about
in the book
predicting a great
amount of woe
unto those who
do not believe
in the power
of fancy-dress
and tuxedos to
throw off pursuers
and confuse friends
looking for the
cheapest ride home
in the trunk
full of manifolds
for the swap
meet next month
and adding traction
like a sandbag
for better balance
and comfy ride
your grandmother loves
in her rocking
high back bucket
special ordered from
hand crafted Amish
woodworkers singing with
pitchforks in their
toughened, weathered hands
working up to
use pitchforks to
burn the witch
using enviromentally safe
accelerants and restraints
to please enviro-masochists
a very rare
event needing a
protected viewing platform
with full rollcage
and fire suppression
bottles fully charged
ready to put
into emergency use
when the sh*t
contacts rotating air
caused by losing
a fan blade
at high speed
with disastrous results
when the sh*t ;)
hit the fan
with the missing
blade throwing it
behind instead of
through the hood
where it would
make for a
big splatter of
shi*t on the
freshly waxed firewall
with the resulting
aromatic mess sticking
to everything within
splattering distance with
globs and chunks
filling every orifice
and narrow crack
to the point
of needing more
sh*t for the
next door neighbor's
hidden "vegie" garden
replete with guard
geese and a
mature billy goat
ready to butt
bite and kick
any would-be "veggie "
that is undernourished
and not fit
for consumption with
a nice baked
salmon and curry
ice-cream with extra
pickled anchovy pâté
for a hot
caramel sundae float
with a difference
unparalleled in delectability
and bowel turning
ecstatic gas emanations
released silently to
run off unsuspecting
"sensitive types" who
need to barf
in a bag
already dripping from
a previous effort
of violent proportion
from both ends
both ends simultaneously
requiring good aim
time after time
while holding a
PISTOL GRIP SHIFTER
the only real
knuckle busting fun
to be had
WHILE DRIVING A
MIGHTY MOPAR MISSILE
the way they
should be piloted
driven like you
just stole it
with lot of
valuable contraband in
the back seat
hidden from view
under a blanket
protected by dogs
in the back
under a quilt
made from extra
thick lama wool
tied down with
raw hide straps
decorated with pink
bits for everyone
to feast upon
, clam chowder for
the affect said
to be quite
the penultimate delicacy
in far off
PAC man instan
next door to
Goat-man love instan
which was where "Abdul the
(3 word thread this one is)
Bhaaaad dhaaad man
was allowed to
:shruggy: :rofl:
To marry a
half dozen goats
Because they dont
all know how
To run away
from potential molesters
Because they like
the rough stuff
That polywideblock does.
:smilielol:
with terrible fury
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sE9HiMfUDxs :angel:
Little innocent defenceless
fluffy bunnies need
Tobe grilled slowly
for the tenderest
Meal to share
with bunny connoisseurs
And rednecks alike
all enjoying a
Burning prius while
toasting marshmallows for
The stripclub girls
to wrestle in
mud drenched bikinis
easily removed by
one gentle pull
or accidently catching
My finger by
a loose loop
With a broken
thread holding a
shiny pearl button
that's very distracting
on her blouse
when you really
should help her
to slip into
something more comfortable
nice warm mud
better than cold
French onion soup
that dribbles down
the chin of
your next little
project , down in
the south of
the main processing
plant of kangaroo
sourced dog food
packaged into handy
cans for domestic
distribution and consumption
making happy pooches
because of tasty
inner roo bits
fried in koala
Wrapped in bacon
making eucalyptus flavoured
crocodile liver Étouffée
a very strange
but yummy concoction
sure to impress
the most ardent
French crocodile liver
known to mankind
as rotten meat
that falls apart
when prodded by
Long sticks of
celery , rabbits won't
taste very good
without the tater's
or the carrots
already stuffed up
to the gills
not leaving room
to fit needed
protein from the
2 reservoirs below
the castle on
the way to
the basement in
the defunct morgue
full of old
glass jars full
excess body parts
that nobody wanted
to use and
kept pickled for
annual clearance sale
held at carlisle
swap meet for
when you can't
get a hand
with six fingers
to fit in
the tight space
between the shelves
getting jammed and
causing great pain
during the extraction
process that gets
you all teary
eyed and wishing
to be elsewhere
enjoying a cold
bath before bed
wouldn't be enjoyable
without a tall
red head to
heat the water
and keep it
ready for you
to enjoy with
"the water warmer"
or the cooler
if "off base"
with no other
way to get
back "on base "
back to base
basically, to get
home undetected and
safe with the
"water warmer" sitting
next to Helga
who will scrub
your back until
the itch is
not itchy , leaving
it alone is
the best way
to get better
attention from the
hungry horse flies
buzzing around your
poop shoot , looking
for a place
to park and
open their lunchboxes
made of steel
with mopar's on
the body with
yummy's waiting inside
hot and cold
each individually wrapped
for unmatched freshness
and serving temperature
perfect for taste
like old socks
so cheese with
sock drained macaroni
an appalachian delicacy
served over fried
fossilized Twinkies with
vanilla custard and
carmellised worm stool
that tastes like
used socks and
undies were mixed
in for effect
on pumpernickel bread
with peanut butter
and watercress mustard
stuffed Polish pickles
with lotsa mayo
to help it
go down smoothly
and leave easily
through the backdoor
without touching the
neatly placed doormat
to avoid slipping
on slimy afterfood...
left on the
floor under the
over worked refrigerator
next to the
equally overworked refrigerator
that has a
leaking evaporator coil
and noisy fan
keeping everyone awake
and sucking electricity
making for bad
power bills that
get higher every
time one comes
to the fridge
wanting cold beer
but finding warm
warm curdled buttermilk
yogurt in the
bulging Tupperware container
thats about ready
to explode with
a fierce explosion
of biblical proportions
spreading it contents
throughout the kitchen
causing everyone to
run for their
chairs ,being first
when the music
stops giving them
reasons to die
when so much
is seated on
their weary shoulders
burying their head
like an ostrich
all the way
to their shoulders
making it hard
to sit down
with a head
buried very deep
in the posterior
up and locked
onto the inside
of the lower
left rib cage
with pitbull like
grip and determination
leaving no other
place to hide
from the pink
to the stink!
is only a
hand in the
wrong hole for
for the right
way to do
the hokey 'pokey'
with eyes wide
and hands in
pockets to prevent
interlopers with sharp
fingernails and rings
from tearing a
Gasket or something... :cheers:
soft and tender
making it painful
for the receiver
to receive their
expected due dilligence
from those that
provide due dilligence
when due diligence
is the only
thing keeping you
up all night
worrying about your
Charger waiting for
the parts for
my new stroker :drool5: :cheers:
to be delivered
by mid June :yesnod:
ready to be
a tire roasting
mobile land beast
with fuel injection
and nitrous oxide
just for laughs
for those watching
the antics from
the cheap seats
at the back
over by the
beer stand waiting
very patiently for
a couple of
beer wenches to
hustle up and
encourage a reaction
to their action
so we inbibe
of some tasty
delectable Spaten bier
my favorite supplement :cheers:
for the most
delicious after burps
of digested sauerkraut
that's just sick
in a bavarian
motor works cabriolet
spraying the windshield
on the inside
:puke:with putrid chunks
getting wedged in
the defroster vents
to set hard
the crusty afterfood
in the moustache
of the small
hairy mountain troll
that feeds gremlins
to mustangs for
the sheer spectacle
of feeding mustangs
a steady diet
of really smelly
used up gremlins
, reducing the tendency
to feed good
about oneself being
slightly addicted to
threads on weird
3 word games
that keep your
attention all night
forgetting all else
that's getting done
or not ,depending
on your motivation
and time frame
to get to
other things latter
that somebody else
could do for
less motivation and
smaller bribes to
pass along information
on hemi muscle
cars and parts
hidden in barns
unlit and darkened
until discovered by
nosey mopar fanatics
out for sunday
afternoon cruises in
search of something
for a craigslist
buyer looking for
a quick fix
for mopar addiction
with a quick
dip in the
rusty colored pool
of rain water
with wood floating
past ,on its
lichen covered bark
with a bird
wading through looking
for something more
than what was
initially intended to
be carried off
post haste into
the vast wilderness
for a quick
look around the
deep collection pond
with a frog
lying, saying knee-deep
in some muck
is better than
an eagles belly
with the other
incontinent bears roaming
the woods looking
for wayward rabbits...
with non-stick fur
slicker than teflon
for ease of
shit flying extracation
after use by
the state coroner
sing that song
bunnies to tight to mention ;)
of heavy metal
,head bangers nightmare
and fleeting illusions
of life before
the lonely road
of secret rabbit
stew smothered in
gravy made from
Jessica's secret recipe
including large amounts
of delectable sorts
of sticky stuff
only meant for
special people who
like to dive
in sewerage pipes
looking for golden
treasure in the
deepest, darkest places
lubed up and
ready for action
dressed as fish
sticks in batter
ready for the
smokin' hot oil
anticipating the burn
after the fact
feeling just as
disappointed as usual
that nobody cares
about the effort
put forth therefore
why put the
effort out in
doing anything for
a mere pittance
per hour and
no free lunch
from the girl
behind the counter
of the food
court mall area
down around the
Bass Pro Shop
next to Wendy's
and Taco Bell
obviously the good
the bad and
the very ugly
to the core
of mall life
in the suburb
of any-town USA
or Washington, D.C.
corruptions seat of
the free world
run by a
dumb muslim lover
,thumb sucking mama's
boy who forgot
where his balls
were to show
to his wife
OR HIS HUSBAND...
sorry, caps lock
the door and
see the new
way of being
a homeless person
living on a
handout and cardboard
would taste better
if it were
stewed in sump-oil
from a shipwreck
of an impala
exposed to a
never ending stream
of hooligan pirates
from the karaoke
singing parrots trained
to harass tourists
on the bus
that passes through
the Disney World
alligator infested lagoon
L\looking for morsels
left from the
careless tourists from
all over the
world vacationing in
beautiful sunny downtown
away from alligators
and their nasty
habit of eating
people and pets
between meals, spoiling
peoples whole day
planned out for
the weekly festivities
before its time
to go swimming
and disappear under
the murky waters
looking for leftovers
and a place
to store them
on their back
while whistling Dixie
for josey wales
coming to breakfast
at granny's place
to surprise her
with lots of
Texas Pete sauce
fresh from the
secret kitchen behind
Texas Pete's place
known only as
For Pete's Sake
a very exclusive
concoction blended in
that secret place
protected by armed
rabbits with big
pink floppy ears
all the better
for making slippers
at Easter time
(http://i1324.photobucket.com/albums/u619/polywideblock/slipper.jpg) (http://s1324.photobucket.com/user/polywideblock/media/slipper.jpg.html)
for the grandkids
sakes I hope
and not for
an unusual entertainment
for those disposed
toward unusual amusements
using Chevy powered
vibrating twisty things
into tight knots
caused by contortions
that break bones
quite painful for
a long time
after the incident
known to only
those privileged few
pledged to secrecy
for the sake
of protecting the
the secret that
all men are
really hiding inside
their wives pocket
Where's Fred?
in their purse
:shruggy: haven't seen him in months
or overnight bag
prepared for the
three day weekend
in the middle
of the holidays
while the kids
waited impatiently for
their turn at
telling Saint Nick
what they want
Mom and Dad
won't get because
prior felony convictions
prevent the purchase
of the best
gifts that money
can not buy
only obtainable by
diligent search of
grocery store dumpsters
for damaged packaging
without any stains
or broken contents
leaking and seeping
making soggy packaging
permanently painted pink
just like that
flamingo yard ornament
the dog pisses
on and around
on its morning
walk while wives
chat oblivious to
the impending storm
from the owner
of the Vega
who's flamingo is
in need of
a good wash
using steel wool
and smelly disinfectant
that stings when
it gets in
suddenly noticed cuts
caused by the
paper, grass, etc.
while cleaning the
junk yard dog's
small and filthy
surprise package left
under the Vega
and the fence
surrounded by suspicious
oozing yellow liquid
that randomly pulsates
in spurts that
come and go
ebb and flow
like the tide
against the shore
of the bay
filled with crocodiles
, very hungry crocodiles
and hungry hungry
hippo's, natures flatulence
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSKQ3ZNQ_O8
masters , now if
that amount scares
global warming proponents
out of their
cow hating stupors
brought on by
Q: Mommy, where does milk come from?
A: Milk cartons, sweetie.
tree hugging greenies
with splinters in
bits that shouldn't
hurt too much
but are hard
to put away
without first checking
your seat is
covered with armour
preventing unauthorised entry
without proper lubricant
to prevent chaffing
, galling, and abrasions
to tender extremities
susceptible to extreme
usage ,forced into
repeatedly performing feats
that a crowbar
is used to
beak open boxes
by breaking the
seal on the
box using crowbar
as intended to
demonstrate their prowesses
flexing massive muscles
lifting things up
to prove it
can be done
using one hand
and a crowbar
to make a
crowbar induced dent
in the sponge
head belonging to
old frumpy débutantes
with lapdogs and
preforming lap dances
for lapless audiences
in the standing
room only section
of the Pontiac
silver dome ,watching
TV reruns of
The Twilight Zone
California girls episode
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GMoLENWsSk
that may be
the best yet
for long legs
in 80's swimsuits
with properly proportioned
midriffs showing extra
lovely muscle definition
allowing one to
run for office
of social director
showing everyone their
social skills ,doing
gymnastics during breaks
in the activities
room while eating
pickled oysters and
crackers while drinking
hot sake with
a groovy geisha
that loves Mopars
even though she
has never driven
or even heard
a legendary hemi
screaming through the
gears pro like
a super stock
Stage III with
stick shift manual
3 speed trans
quick shifted expertly
like Big Daddy
or Herb McCandless
after drinking a
cool cup of
brisk ice tea
with mint leaves
which Herb normally
poured down on
a hot day
into the carburrettor
to aid combustion
with reduced detonation
and carbon reduction
until the damn
cat jumped out
right into the
middle of the
son's birthday cake
causing much consternation
...about grabbing them..
......proclaiming fake horror
at pussy prints
marking their territory
right in the
pussy until it
escaped ,causing quite
A big stir
among pussy watchers
with societal norms
unlike bogan norms
pejorative and self-deprecating
total losers, unlike
Dodge Charger owners
who know mopar
inside and out
topside and under
the radar , speeding
with reckless abandon
on side streets
as Hemi powered
mopars run riot
over what ever
fronts for the
local car club
go cart team
running nitrous oxide
for pain relief
from dental work
long left overdue
due to the
lack of insurance
paperwork, lost in
the post because
the new wife
censers all the
looks weird pictures
of overdue dental
care and procedures
including root therapy
without anesthesia for
the thrill of
practicing to be
a medieval torturer
for Halloween next
Monday ready to
trick or treat
load up on
spiders and snakes
to stuff pumpkins
and miniature gourds
for dwarves to
take to the
food bank where
they'll carve a
scary Halloween face
in miniature for
tiny little people
to wear during
the eat me
contest at the
miniature horse farm
next to the
small ant farm
selling ant milk
to support there
and back again
for the fun
run that everybody
turns into competitive
naked porcupine wrestling
a very perilous
entertainment for brave
wrestlers with no
aversion to pain
or being pricked
right in the
tender winkle remover
applied using hot
massage oil for
old, sore muscles
that have had
much better times
with a tub
full of hot
babes barely dressed
and ready for
your wildest dreams
all year long
with no charge
for free even
though tips will
always be appreciated
as it helps
to pay for
massage oil and
fine California wine
to make the
Texas cowgirls tipsy
and easy to
karaoke Willie Nelson
at the new
Cow Town venue
were all the
big belt buckles
glitter in the
cowgirl hat band
while bobbing around
like lost puppies
in the pen
without any milk
to keep them
happy and satisfied
and full as
the average person
loaded with turkey
stuffed with stuffing
drowned in drink
recipe concoctions of
a deranged madman
from down under
where the aboriginals
think sniffing petrol
is tantamount to
heavenly nectar dispensed
to get them
to go in
the secret room
TO GET A :D
loose kangaroo for
dinner lateron with
the portly constable
with busted thongs
and no shame
going barefoot to
(http://i1324.photobucket.com/albums/u619/polywideblock/thong%20tan.jpg) (http://s1324.photobucket.com/user/polywideblock/media/thong%20tan.jpg.html)
(http://i1324.photobucket.com/albums/u619/polywideblock/thong%20broke.jpg) (http://s1324.photobucket.com/user/polywideblock/media/thong%20broke.jpg.html)
the grocery store
to get some
double pluggers that
are on sale
next to the
sun screen and
lube for your
rubber fish suit
stretched tight over
thanksgiving turkey gut
like spandex wearing
women of WalMart
on display for
college biology lab
experiments for extra
time to go
the donut shoppe
to meet the
next ex wife
and start paying
out the nose
for her expanding
leopard-print spandex covered
Volkswagen Microbus seats
that smell like
uncle Otto's boots
that haven't been
cleaned in years
after tromping through
the cow paddock
looking for something
miles underground, but
still easily identifiable
by the shiny
polished chrome plated
grease nipples and
the weird shapped
protrusion from the
torn underbelly of
a monster turtle
gamera strikes again
for the third
time in Tokyo
drifting around the
apartment building looking
for a urinal
To take too
the monsters ball
to use when
the line up
gets too long
and the urge
to purge is
quickly becoming unavoidable
so just slip
out the door
to find a
dark corner to
discharge gelatinous, gastrointestinal
pods ,for latter
usage at Halloween
making "pod people"
in every flavour
of the rainbow
just like Skittles
and prisms
and moonbeams......and.....
and kaleidoscopes and
accordions with accompanying
monkeys with brass
instruments hanging below
before being frozen
in an upward
draft of polar
winds in Antarctica
causing polar bears
to head north
where they circle
around artic circles
tracks getting faster
approaching its prey
on the back
of a large
pterodactyl holding a
Dodo bird in
the ready position
HO,HO,HO ?? ?? ??
HOE,HOE,HOE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
HAPPY NEW YEAR ?
very very bored ?
to the point
of multiple posts
Auld Lang Syne
funny name for
inebriated people to
get a opportunity
to sing loudly
and off key
causing ear damage
to German Shepherds
left out to
protect their master
race from the
trembling ankle biters
who will ruin
everything in sight
with their gnawing
and incessant scratching
of bums on
ribs and belly
rubs delivered by
the women folk
before the big
ice cream social
jelly wrestling tournament
with bodacious babes
in birthday suits
buffed and tanned
ready for action
in the back
room before the
detailed exam of
every orifice for
six pack manifolds
slyly smuggled ,stuffed
into every corner
of the pickup
truck engine bay
making the cat
and the mice
happy with the
extra hiding places
to store extra
rations ,making prepping
for an emergency
of biblical proportion
involving some rain
and long nights
to spend in
reflection of what
40 rainy days
does to your
mental and physical
well being making
all moments precious
with group hug
and belly rubs
from well oiled
and pleasant smelling
fresh clean shaved
sensitive to pentrataion
by extra large
ravens and crows
looking for a
good meal that
comes easy because
they are scavengers
,lazy good for
stripping flesh to
see what's underneath
the heavy overcoat
and leather chaps
dried out by
the noonday sun
burning, baking, and
splitting the grain
making chafing a
painful and unpleasant
side affect from
pinching and pulling
all the pubes
that the cowgirls
forgot to shave
very, very carefully
with a bowie
made in China
with a serrated :o
edge for getting
down and dirty
when cropping jungle
roots and overgrowth
in the lower
Mississippi River Delta
where lots of
mud cats dwell
until their time
that comes monthly
as the moon
shines down on
an incredible sight
lots and lots
of mud cats
serve fish sticks
to all and
with hush puppies
in their pocket
and squishy butter
between their toes
smells like cheese
tastes like chicken
finger lickin good
to the Labrador
licking your toes
with reckless abandon
getting all the
assorted flavors there
were to get
making a pleasent
candlelit evening dinner
so very special
to all Labradors
and German Shepherds
scaring some with
cross breed experiments
like guinea pigs
or hamsters with
Kardashian-like proportions
of glutenous maximus
making huge turds
Very Hard to Flush
the first time
without somehow chopping
and splashing them
trying to soften
the roughage before
before the Labrador
and the Shepard
nab the treats
for good dogs
that share treats
with their owners
when they're good
and not sharing
their donut with
the skinny constable
with the overweight
pooch begging for
more greasy tidbits
and tasty little
dangly bits hanging
from his mustache
handy for afters
snacks that tease
and tickle the
delectable lady parts
with gentle, seductive
brush strokes as
you awaken from
a roofie colada
with a splash of
Bacardi 151 to
use as aftershave
treatment for all
the nicks and
deep razor burn
that can hurt
with the slightest
touch by a
sheet of 2 ply
no matter how
well lubed your
gentle touch is
lotion might help
soothe and soften
the foreskin on
the tiny member
belonging to the
blue footed boobie
floating in the
shallow pool of
viscous genetic material
naturally moved along
by gaseous emissions
pressurized by beer
bottles inserted in
a relaxed orifice
trapping compressed air
in the bend
near the navel
666 :naughty:
where the sun
shines not at
all , leaving a
person to wonder
if the sun
will ever shine
on the pale
parts perpetually pale
from lack of
sun tan lotion
which stings when
in your eyes
making it hard
to walk straight
or find the
Charger car keys
lost last night
in the backseat
of the sheriff's
patrol car while
checking out the
local wildlife , sometimes
spotting a rare
blue footed boobie
wearing wingtip shoes
on its blue
feet that stink
like a skunk
rolled in bear
feces with a
sprinkling of rabbit
for the Fury
https://youtu.be/v11RyneFSHo
was jacked up
beyond all reason
ruining the handling
at all speeds
but looking cool
but ridiculous and
making everyone look
and run for
high ground , getting
nowhere fast, slipping
and sliding in
all the big
cow pats left
in precarious places
ready to fall
for the oldest
trick there is
but never fails
to catch the
gullible and unwary
boldly going where
perhaps one shouldn't
but boldness dictates
a reckless penchant
for risky inadvisable
activities undertaken by
underintelligent overly bold
wannabes who really
can't handle painting
pretty picture on
hollowed out stumps
and small stones
wriggly tin and
rusty barbed wire
for a rat-rod
with a difference
in the basic
trashy world of
ratty rat rods
cobbled together from
fluff and nonsense
and rusted parts
with rounded bolts
and rusted tight
cross threaded screws
including left hand
screwdrivers for left
Philips head screws
a funny name
like metric vise-grips
or box-end wrench
or monkey wrench
or pipe wrench
or a podger
or channel locks
last used when
needed to grip
an Allen key
firmly because it's
easier that way
saving time and
busted knuckles on
either hand with
a uni glove
proudly made in
the republic of
North Korea in
subterranean missile installations
sporting strange hair-cuts
making the bowl
a hair-cutting tool
that will cut
thick numb skulls
in a stylish
and un-stylish
cut for fatboy
who is delusional
and proves it
by murdering whomever
will disagree with
whatever take his
side believes right
at the moment
of coitus interruptus
during mutual high
altitude air bursts
making a mess
On the floor
and all walls
for fat boy
riders to see
such a spectacle
put them off
so badly that..
they stopped eating
and drinking the
effect was very
disturbing to witness
them losing their
collective minds as
the trips took
too much time
to kick in
before law enforcement
came and ruined
Mommy's flower beds
and the party
was just beginning
to get psychedelic
from a controlled
substance in the
hopes of a
far out time
with all of
the spaced out
experimenters of this
small neighborhood assembly
merrily eating mushies
anticipating a positive
outcome from life
like dreams of
cheap leaded fuel
induced brain wobbles
and other malfunctions
of cranial functions
needed for performing
suggested menial tasks
like pumping gas
, walking + chewing gum,
simultaneously while poking
someone with a :poke:
in the eye
with a blunt
rubber screwdriver handle
or Louisville sluggers
which will cause
blunt force trauma
without any scratches
that will show
on the surface
for very long
range viewing from
an undisclosed location
way off yonder
Over the mountains
near Area 51
in an underground
secret government installation
known only to
the few who
go inside to
maintain the saucers
by checking the
unknown glowing disc
proper oil level
with their dipstick
then carefully wiping
off the stardust
so no grazing
cattle herds will
mistake it for
a resting place
for lonesome doves
and assorted other
old goat ropers
and sheep gropers
making sheep nervous
shivering with anticipation
because of crazy
sheep dogs that
hump anything that
will hold still
long enough for
the hair grab
and positioning the
humpee under the
location it goes
on the sofa
will need cleaning
with a stiff
tool using proper
scrubbing motion removing
certain fluid stains
and sticky substances
left during vigorous
exercise leaving spent
mounds of bodily
surplus stuck to
absorbent fibers that
are used for
the doggie bed
matching the couch
in the living
room by the
polished brass spittoon
waiting to receive
anticipated well derserved
award for best
spittoon polishing caterogery
in the local
polishing competition held
behind Larry's diner
rain or shine
every second Sunday
starting after church
for those that
want to in
trude into others
private areas that
should be camera
shy because it
is always under
a large protective
covering of frilly
lacy type of
undergarments worn by
enticing females of
the opposite sex
that have your
attention by using
a big smile
and a sexy
posture with all
items at attention
standing tall and
sticking straight out
indicating a intense
case of like
ing certain attributes
which are obvious
to casual passerbys
who see it
as a challenge
not to be
caught staring at
what everyone else
wants to see
and talk about
on talkback radio
with Golden Tonsils
from gargling with
cadmium colored medicines
that taste like
rotted salmon eggs
specially fermented for
radio talkshow hosts
to get wasted
and have a
whale of a
'next morning' affect
on United Airlines
where passengers are
arriving worse than
they should with
out their pets
a sad state
for the pet
making rabbit fricassee
and fur clothing
to keep warm
and very comfortable
in bunny undies
fitting snugly to
hide the wrinkles
and any unsightly
protuberances caused by
something tucked in
the wrong crease
or fold in
instead of dangling
out for all
the fresh air
and biting insects
that like your
(http://i483.photobucket.com/albums/rr198/DeltaVplus/Mobile%20Uploads/IMG_20150906_214517_zpslskvask1.jpg)
tender parts to
be fully exposed
like a buffet
on the roadside
in plain sight
for the bears
to leisurely consume
the best bits
of park rangers
and tour guides
without their equipment
which causes upset
ursinologists undue unsettling
everyone's efficient effluent
flow , following flatulence
pushed powerfully putrid
colossal clouds condensing
around air arriving
amid acrid agreements
cause condescending creations
accompanying 'air' activity
disturbing delectable dagmars
repeatedly repairing rips
stopping subterranean sucking
taxidermists telling terrorists
totally tall tails
found fairly fast
that terrible toxic
truths told tenaciously
by bipartisan Bulgarians
corrupt communist commitments
nefariously negotiated nepotism
in isolated instances
of obtuse occurrences
to cause undue
pain and suffering
to Dr Seuss
who should be
able to do
all this rhyming
whilst watching whales
pursue playful porpoises
wobbling wallowing walruses
cranky crocodilians catching
preciously pompous pachyderms
stomping several small
slithering slimey serpents
simultaneously scurrying speedily
towards tumultuous terrible
tourists taking tambourines
to totally thrust
unsharpened utensils under
an anonymous anesthetic
using unique ukulele's
tuned to totally
baffle bewildered buffalo's
into intestinal injections
causing caustic crap
splattering sad spaniels
cowering completely covered
disgusting distributed discharge
effluents evenly everywhere
covering cowardly cretins
to the top
completely covering crevices
with woefully windswept
putrid pearlescent particulates
permanently plastering previously
viewed vexing variables
knocking knowledge known
as assisted assets
and android accredited
and all associated
actuarials already anticipated
by bipartisan bigots
belligerently buying boots
for Fridays family
out of obvious
things that take
Tic Toc Tach
totally telling time
taken to trip
down memory lane
a gravel driveway
a beaten path
from nowhere to
the gas station
and on to
another gas station :icon_smile_big:
cause chargers drink
Like a Fish
but not 'Cudas
they are just
not large enough
to swim with
the big boys
and the sharks
circling causing curious
collaborative commotions, circumventing
timid taste tests
motivating momentous movements
avoiding avaricious adversaries
until undulating Ukrainians
gamely grapple gnawing
tawdry Teutonic teens
tossing temper tantrums
like lugubrious lilliputians
dreaming doleful daydreams
while wallabies waddle
with wombles while
crocodiles crush crankcases
on others outboards
whilst Wobbles watch
irate individuals initiating
innocuous insults irrespective
of obscene overtures
from fascinatingly fun
loving lovely ladies
licking luscious lollipops
bitten by bad
bad Leroy Brown
the baddest man
in the whole
because he fits
the music lyrics
poetically describing a
big man in
southside of Chicago
named Leroy Brown
known as 'sir'
to cell "mates"
Jesus, Hector, & Julio
who take turns
heckling the guards
that they find
watching Jessica Simpson
in the next
incarnation of the
Dukes of Hazzard
dancing in boots
in short shorts
looking really sexy
and very enticing
and nicely tanned
from a day
under the sun
with appropriate sunscreen
applied with care
to all exposed
lovely curved surfaces
for better aerodynamics
of the rocket
Sears–Haack body
built to prefection
by blind dwarves
and Amish craftsman
traveling by horse-drawn
snow sleds with
bells jingling all
the way down
to the corner
soda fountain parlor
that went bankrupt
selling ice-cream in
the Arctic circle
to walruses and
silly Siberian seals
,perhaps preoccupied penguins
, or obstinate Orcas
with wailing walruses
with wild waifs
randomly ridding reindeer
rarely ridden recklessly
rudely ridden roughly
over the logs
making squeaking noises
that sound like
faulty brake squeal
without the spring
making sprung noises
with a soft
aahh afterwards , making
drugged bank robbers
comfy cossie sweetpea
purists partaking pancakes
formed from foam
rubber mattresses found
at the tip
of the neighbor's
bear fertilized flowerbeds
from the last
thread about bear
poop by polywideblock
that has restarted
in all earnest
leaps of joy
over piles of
bananas and cherries
to be used
before the next
ice cream social
that auctioned off
antique wooden indians
for charity, benefitting
marvelous, monster Mopars
that freely roam
freshly paved boulevards
that surprisingly lead
to winged warriors
gathering together to
make a massive
hole in the
slower moving traffic
clogging the lanes
that are exiting
where they shouldn't
but do anyway
because it's fun
to relentlessly taunt
the unsuspecting tourists
running amok because
someone let out
the dogs from
Hades run loose
without sat nav
or a map
keeping them from
going into the
dirty little grotto
with all the
evidence in hand
to save the
rockmelon from extinction
by a lone
wolf in disguise
that wants pickles
with his burger
beer, babes, and
a comfy bed
and soft pillow
to bounce on
when there's nothing
else to do
with your life
in a box
when no one
is looking and
the puppy dogs
look so cute
in the window
smeared with slobber
and paw prints
, just waiting to
be let out
to scamper around
looking for truffles
and buttered croissants
to share with
hungry, hairy hobos
always ready to
accept crusty gifts
providing they are
wrapped in a
bullet proof vest
no longer used
by the French
water polo team
that cannot sing
at karaoke bars
without a permit
to go naked
in the privacy
of their shower
stall, with no
hot water available
in Puerto Rico
making it impossible
to call for
room service without
first, being last
in line for
the cold scraps
of the leftover
meat lovers pizza
with extra cheese
to clog the
arteries with cholesterol
left over from
grandma's cast iron
branding iron logo
trademarked last century
but brought back
To the amazement
of all the
little elves and
pixies living happily
at the bottom
of my garden
Conversing with oneself
while waiting for
Someone to reply
:yesnod:
and going grey
in the procees
Of staring at
total solar eclipses
from Martian soil
used for planting
poppies and marijuana
on cloud nine
by the Volkswagen
Audi group therapy
provided by the
diesel emissions analysts
that can't see
his own nose
or anyone else's
for that matter.
So, they jumped
Straight into the
bilabong full of
very hungry, yet
very content Martians
hiding inside pyramids
where scarab beetles
await unsuspecting souls
coming around to
look for treasure
left behind by
jewelers with little
shoes and belts
calling themselves cobblers
but they want
to be politicians
without being elected
Or having multiple
personalities bordering on
the edge of
reality by Elvis
Costello in drag
racing firesuit with
cross-threaded zippers
Old McDonald was dyslexic, I-E-I-E-O.
that stick in
the open position
when least expected
making it interesting
Delta.....thinking of this? :lol:
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=oldmacdonald+was+a+poor+speller&&view=detail&mid=9952A25809BB1193A74F9952A25809BB1193A74F&rvsmid=131339E3CFEBEEF767D6131339E3CFEBEEF767D6&FORM=VDQVAP
every time I
think I'm correct
turns out I'm
arguing with myself
in a funhouse
and losing badly
and winning spectacularly
at the races
between old friends
with an old
and very decrepit
housekeeper that flirts
in the hope
that Fred's neighbor
can persuade him
to double clutch
and grab another
cold adult beverage
from the waitress
that looks like
a model from
the pages of
the encyclopedia Britannica
before the librarians
declared them unfit
for lighting fires
by the homeless
nomads that roam
Walmart parking lots
searching for camels
with two humps
and four legs
with camel toes.....
looking like debutantes
ready for a
opportunity to show
off the latest
footware for December
after the podiatrist
prescribed the latest
nerve agent proof
is needed for
Some strange abnormalities
that don't belong
to anyone else
willing to take
them out to
the ball game
Buy me some
nacho cheese hotdogs
so that I
may regret it
with every burp
and bump they
expect you to
decorate the house
on a budget
owned by a
little old lady
and her SS-Dodge
driving in Pasadena
terrorizing the boulevard
by showing her
three wheeled scooter
to Wheeler Dealers
in hopes that
a fourth wheel
would make it
to the next
intersections traffic lights
after she runs
a 5k marathon
in silky shorts
and bikini top
oh my Goodness
gracious me, it's
a wonderful sight
to see such
a menagerie of
gum drops and
strange little elves
that are slaves
to commercialized holidays
serving a big
agenda with no
redeeming social value
in hopes of
saving all mankind
from alien invasions
that come for
Happy Meals and
vigorous exercise that
burns off calories
and fat, making
unidentified flying objects
identify themselves as
oblate spheroidal vessels
landed peacefully in
flooded rice patties
floating with turds
left by giant
caterpillars, in the
late afternoon sunshine
while we drink
moonshine in secret
garden that everyone
is looking for
but don't recognize
the road signs
that lead you
through the brambles
over the dell
and past the
dilapidated red barn
sheltering a Hemi
from prying eyes
but not from
hordes of rodents
flying into the
wild blue yonder
only to regret
not having trained
for emergency landings
along skid row
where hard times
will find you
without a penny
or a pot
and pan placed
to catch some
spare change from
eager people lining
the edge of
reality where dark
glasses are required
for Elvis lookalikes
driving pink Cadillacs
down memory lane
to the next
door neighbours house
looking for a
unused garage to
park their big
Chrysler Lebaron Imperial
next to their
Mini Cooper that
shakes with fear
when it hears
the Chrysler starter
wind up the
big blown Hemi
6 with Webers
calibrated for optimum
performance, only to
scare small children
to tears, running
to their parents
asking for lollies
and taffy, until
they fall asleep
tightly grasping the
foot of the
big soft stuffed
Sasquatch driving the
bright pink Rampage
down Rodeo Drive
That would be a sight. :smilielol:
with high beams
flashing psychedelic colors
reflecting off of
the shiny chrome
plated mud flaps
from the orange
plastic highway barrel
that was tipped
into oncoming traffic
for tractor trailers
to drift sideways
through the ice
in my whiskey
barrel, tumbling end
over end until
landing on the
over and over
I'm back, but I trouble with spelling & stitch. i't been 8 months have I,m all there but taking one at a time
until it rolled
end over end
down the river
over the dell
until it landed
sunny side up
with whipped cream
on the upper
left hand side
going down the
laundry shaft at
after just one
attempt at it
is all over
the carpeted floor
making a mix
for the party
and bottles of
holy water hanging
over the mantle
bedecked with garlic
and pickled liver
to ward off
girls selling cookies
to help gremlins
drive their little
car to feels
like Summer here
or winter here
and over there
around the corner
stood a big
fat lovely wobbly
chocolate blancmange waiting
ever so patiently
for the cops
help me down
rapunzel's tower before
preparing Polywideblock's Plymouth
for lunar exploration
of Saturn's moon
to the left
and the right
I saw a
rare purple feathered
pink throated spotted
baby dodo bird
chewing bubble gum
in the nest
resting before the
tail feathers grow
on the hatchlings
to be plucked
from the nursery
You changed it on me :brickwall: :rofl:
woods where Goldilocks
paid the bears
to eat her
own recipe of
bangers and mash
sweet potato pie
not baked through
making for a
very sticky mess
in the driveway
making it dnagerous
for the mailman
to ride his
way down the
giant slalom course
and into Mary's
little lamb which
wandered onto the
minefield with intentions
of peacekeeping instead
of ringside wrestling
in a mud
hole fit for
a white rhino
and it's mate
after a long
and winding road
suddenly opened into
a kaleidoscope of
shiny shooting stars
with blinding brightness
that blinded Princess
and Prince alike
as they kissed
the glistening crocodilians
that roam the
tourist filled beaches
stealing bikini tops
and beach blankets
before running to
get laffy taffy
candy to share
on sunny days
and balmy nights
before hurricanes named
there new born
Gusty and Breezy
in anticipation of
becoming famous and
rich when discovered
on the beach
wearing flip flops
and nothing else
to hide the
old fading tattoos
that remind them
of times when
things were cheap
and really well
better off than
a drowning rat
in a sea
that even Neptune
thought was impossible
to predict the
rising sea levels
from the tsunami
caused by an
elderly grandmother singing
her lungs out
on a nude
coloured arm chair
in a surprising
celebration to all
of a sudden
aliens flew down
at street level
using their tongues
to sip soda
from a bowl
sitting atop Johnny's
head and shoulders
teaching him balance
before toppling down
and hitting the
dinner gong thus
calling everyone for
canapes and champagne
perfectly served by
barefooted pygmy waiters
in camo waders
getting ready to
serve luncheon to
all their pygmy relatives that
occupy the swamp
next to the
oops! I did the 5 word in the 3 word.
spooky, forbidden woods
I guess I can let is slide this time, and every time afterwards. :cheers:
where limbs have
You're the man! :2thumbs:
made entry impossible
except for short
people on knees
looking under the
wool door mat
for creepy crawlies
writhing in salt
because it helps
them taste better
with bourbon and
a drop of
coke with ice
cream and chocolate
chip cookies for
a fantastic treat
instead of wages
but just as
before, they weren't
deep fried in
barbeque sauce, or
cod liver oil
with added special
effects to delight
even the pessimistic
grumpy old man
down the road
(John Fogerty came to mind)
watching the movie
but not seeing
the ending because
they fell asleep
in the saddle
riding thru the
Glen with his
very merry men
singing and dancing
while Rumpeltiltskin watches
straw turn into
gold to trade
for horse feathers
and frogs hair
and hens teeth
and flying pigs
and other useless
stuff tucked away
at the bottom
of the ravine
littered with skeletons
and inferior vehicles
from other manufactures
whose standards are
lower then optimum
Corporate quarterly dividends
leaving shareholders disappointed
plummeting the stock
to new levels
only seen by
someone with binoculars
and four eyes
checking all directions
for alien activity
behind the shed
with the girl
dreaming of a
sublime flying saucer
full of chocolate
Easter eggs for
a joyous Christmas
in outback Australia
where many of
the country's kangaroos
dress in drag
:slap:
to keep away
the randy camels
wearing the latest
Coco Chanel sunglasses
and Valentino designed
velvet smoking jacket
with patches or
hand embroidered initials
written in Cyrillic
therefor not understood
by most people
except for Slavs
drinking my Stolichnaya
then shooting flames
out their noses
and setting alight
the dry underbrush
of their nostrels
causing cauterized tissues
to burst open
causing great pain
and disfigurement to
a face that
already looked ugly
to their mother
but heaps of
potatoes and sprouts
solves all problems
providing they're not
on the various
plates of suffering
ill effects from
/ ? ? ?/
cryptic question marks
with enigmatic overtures
meant for lonely
housewives in need
of vegemite sandwiches
and corn chips
made from corn
cobs pickled with
Red wine vinegar
and stale formaldehyde
causing a reaction
To the smell
by connisseurs partaking
of cheese and
crackers, while parrots
gleefully mimic Mopars
Hemi exhaust note
at idle or
The dead silence
of the lambs
chops deep fried
And served with
spicy pork rinds
and gopher guts
stuffed with Mom's
Thanksgiving giblets gravy
That's just irresistible
in warm weather
When friends gather
wood for a
overdue barn fire
and hay ride
Complete with monsters
anxious to get
A hug from
the grey thingy
under the table
That escaped from
the town council
meeting scheduled for
every other month
But gets postponed
by the mayor
to show how
powerful he is
in his mind
of chasing women
Into the bathroom
where slippery floors
are the bane
of fourlegged animals
Prance joyfully around
The totem pole
in perfect harmony
to "Die Fledermaus"
Until the record
skipped a beat
during the lightning
Strike, chilling with
the mayor's daughter
At the masquerade
party attended by
Everyone who needs
help with geometry
Trig, calculus, and
home economics for
A chance at
stealing a kiss
behind the sheltershed
But got caught
up in nettles
By her brother
who thinks that
Golf is entertaining
when using croquet
balls out of a cannon
Pointed toward pesky
rappers in Hondas
And Toyota Supras
illegally tinted windows
And stove pipe
for Santa to
fly away with
Into the sunset
without his sunglasses
Or some tanning
oil on his
Back, which she
squirted all over
Herself, showing off
all her curves
that have warped
In the heat
of the night
When the moon
encouraged werewolves to
Play hop scotch
with the locals
wandering aimlessly around
the dog park
Until they find
misplaced Easter eggs
and forgotten pieces
Of the jigsaw
which nobody could
Find the box
for, so they
Went to town
in a wagon
Looking for someone
to talk to
That could help
solve the problem
Of finding a
nice dry place
To polish the
stolen silver candelabra
that was pawned
To buy a
Communist Chinese rifle
cleaning kit with
a lifetime supply
of fried grasshoppers
, chocolate covered ants,
and honeyed locusts
stuffed into fricasseed
Stir fry, served
with plenty of
sun dried tomatoes
and Greek olives
To feed the
hungry street urchins
On their way
child labor camps
where they were
Given lollipops and
sent home laughing
At the funnies
printed upside down
and reverse order
rorrim on htiw
:D
on the wall
beside the big
Armoir that had
highly polished brass
Stolen from its
not so secure
Front drawers, feet,
which walked away
Into the night
and got stuck
Having to carry
the bath tub
all the way
up the embankment
Only to trip
and slide back
headlong into the
Poor groundhog's den
thus blocking out
an escape route
until such time
the alligators come
clean and admit
They swiped a
couple of chickens
And a cookie
in celebration of
hot summertime temperatures
When lemonade flows
over the lips
with great ease
Until the ice
in the tumbler
Waters down the
malted whiskey leaving
watered down drool
For the old
parrot to sip
Until a cracker
is given him
By his friendly
leather clad model
T chauffeur after
The dust is
left to settle
in every little
nook and cranny
filled with spider
webs and big
is better than
Bigger when it
comes to balloons
Filled with water
and bursting when
overfilled and thrown
At any unaware
policeman on duty
That was caught
with his pants
pockets full of
rye, fresh from
Bakery back door
to the supermarket
closed on Sundays
And Wednesdays for
removing lice from
parents whose kids
sleep with goats
In the barn
with no hay
but plenty of
second hand cud
In the loft
where exterminators haven't
dared to enter
while wearing tutus
And pink ribbons
with brass bells
that weigh a
Lot more than
one would wish
Upon a star
before falling off
The edge of
the Queen's settee
Watching the knights
in white satin
gathering their hordes
of pumpkin spice
And baking powder
combined into a
Large copper pot
normally used for
Washing dirty laundry
before washing machines
Become affordable to
one and all
making clean clothes
Disappear in the
wink of an
Fish's eye, since
it started blinking
At the site
used for collecting
Everyones' lost marbles
that were lost
In the sofa
with dog biscuits
And chew toys
looking very chewed
out by the
Kid's new puppy
starts training for
grabbing the legs
Of local fowl
eating grass seed
That was thrown
instead of confetti
during the parade
I saw a
Very large Barney
Rubble look alike
Handing out little
BammBamm dolls and
leather covered seats
For untamed dinosaurs
roaming Martian valleys
As far as
they can run
With their hands
filled with doughnuts
and large coffees
Until lunch time
ordering servings of
Scalloped potatoes, cole
slaw, potato salad,
With barbeque briskit
perfectly charred on
both sides with
the best rub
Anyone could ever
come up with
On this side
of the Mississippi
where Huck Finn
And Tom Sawyer
built a raft
But it sank
right near Hannibal
next to the
elephant enclosure where
Barnum and Bailey
were buying their
new trailer home
Park for performers
that are injured
After feeding the
Tyrannosaurus by hand
Powered trolley car
that travels through
The space time
Which leads to
Little miss muffet
sitting on her
Legendary Auto Interiors
orange seat covers
Wishing they were
lipstick pink instead
because she likes
To match her
shoes and bag
To the stripes
of old glory
So she could
wave her arms
to the rhythm
Of a drip
from the downspout
on the corner
Of the courthouse
where Boss Hogg
Stashed a camera
to catch Daisy
bending over while
Cleaning up spilled
beer that Roscoe
Had knocked out
Of Coy's hand...
While reaching for
His pea shooter
that had fallen
From his holster
and discharged into
his patent leather
Sequened cowboy boots
with Mexican toes
of hammered steel
And scroll work
chiseled by elves
Fired by the
jolly old man
Who made shoes
out of cement
For the town
bent nosed ruffians
Who went down
to the river
To pray for
a new mopar
To come from
anywhere ,as long
As it is
dodge ,Plymouth ,Chrysler
cars found in
inside under cover
And ready for
a good time
When the weather
fines up and
The temperature is
good and hot
And ready to
go off line
And set a
bomb under a
Load of manure
for a laugh
To those who
like to blow
Up balloons with
confetti inside of
them as well
To please the
great crowds of
Shoppers anticipating a
huge surprise ,when
The doors open
and they find
The shelves are
incredibly empty nothing
except stale Twinkies
at the end
Of the checkout
ready to receive
A free gift
if they could
Throw a ringer
in one throw
Which turns out
be more like
a bowling strike
a huge ten
Ten times straight
in spades cards
Much to the
horror of those
Professionals who thought
that hearts would
Not get broken
by the rampant
Yet timid little
stallion still made
Clouds of dust
as it approached
The distant oasis
with horses everywhere
Except near the
fence near the
Mopar salvage yard
That was void
of rabid dogs
just rabid cats
With bobbed tails
read to rip
The fuzzy balls
from anybody stupid
Enough to wear
Pink fluffy bows
around rabid cats
wearing underdog capes
and chewing hemp
And catnip twists
for a real
Showdown at the
ice cream social
with 52 flavors
and drizzled caramel
dripping from their
Beards and mustaches
Like ice cycles
and icicles too
making frozen eyeballs
for martini glasses
Served to ogres
who love the
Way light bounces
of the little
Red bow adorning
the tall stem
of the oddball
Little white daisy
with the yellow
ribbon around the
Neck of a
one eared leftover
boar's head that
that was stuffed
with things that
explode when cooking
to the delight
of the waitress
Who just quit
from the fire-brigade
that had been
Using water guns
full of vodka
to party on
the streets while
those that don't
drink had to
whistle in their
Sleep to the
sound made by
Indian battle drums
being played for
the benefit of
The marching band
who got form
From all the
baseball card collectors
under the floor
that decided to
sing Christmas carols
even those are old now
But still loved
by
woops wrong thread
one and all
:lol:
so that it
Can live on
in every one
that sings loud
too loud for
little bird ears
who fly away
At the sound
of thunder with
Rain in the
delayed winter forecast
even though frost
was always on
The October pumpkins
and collard greens
taste terrible with
pickled brussels sprouts
that were sauteed
with stale mushrooms
soaked in whiskey
And served on
stale toast for
unwelcome in-laws
that always get
the shit stick
Stuck between their
noses while they
try not to
Blow milk from
their eyes while
drinking at least
2 glasses of
turpentine from the
Tupperware with a
snap tight lid
That was warped
from the microwave
so it leaked
onto the chips
making scrumptious little
morsels of tasty
Pieces of plastic
with a smothering
Of white gravy
to go with
your buttered muffin
and a cuppa
hot steaming joe
of tea if
hot chocolate doesn't
do it for
The kiddies and
those that don't
Get an extra
spoon full of
fully synthetic oil
To put in
their sore pieces
That rusted up
while soaking in
a strong pissy
mixture that cost
More than a
a weeks pay
50 years ago
to the day.
in other words
unaffordable to the
everyday peoples pay
of peanuts and
Who eat waffles
for tea time
In the afternoon
during the thunderstorms
that occur everyday
after washing cars
down with gasoline
To remove the
sticky bits stuck
in blind cavities
and really hard
Bent nails that
are so totally
rusted together and
make a mat
Good enough to
hold cracked corn
And wheat flower
making a delicious
Loaf of bread
with things in
between the rafters
That poke through
water logged insulation
like it wasn't
securely stapled when
Installed by the
old quadriplegic mime
Wearing pink suspenders
and green pants
matching his hat
That he bought
because it looked
Like it would
wake the dead
and could do
sufficient economic damage
to destroy everything
known to man
back when parakeets
blacken the skies
in which planes
produce chem trails
which swirl abound
Like tornadoes west
mark their path
In the dust
which we breathe
When we don't
eat scrambled eggs
Without french toast
with our fingers
we tighten bolts
in the dark
because that is
Too scary for
the uninitiated students
who wander aimlessly
Without glow sticks
we cannot see
Until they are
right upon us
With paint ball
and ready to
Charge into battle
wearing dark sunglasses
And flip flops
to fool everyone
Into thinking that
they are really
Pajama wearing platypus
looking for friendship
in all the
warm cozy places
looking for sexy
black fishnet stockings
As a mask
for robbing banks
and other things
that are illegal
but fun doing
like taking a
ice cold shower
At the mayors'
ice cream social
Where you paid
in raw coins
And oyster shells
for uninhibited sex
With a bunch
of lonely sheep
Dogs, back from
yelping at the
White tailless squirrel
who was himself
indeed a fireman
In need of
something truly rare
for all that
Extra space in
in his trunk
full of coins
of every denomination
That wouldn't buy
you a pass
on a two-bit
fishing boat going
through the foggy
waters of Erie
Canal headed to
a secret place
That only a
mad bad ass
clown with a
psychotic amazon monkey
looking to pickpocket
everybody and anyone
attending the event
of a lifetime
Supply of boxed
mealy bugs for
The song birds
performing live at
The nearest water
skiing championships downunder
witch is starting to get
Exciting when Sharks
lurk around aimlessly
And the event
is really something
The crickets would
chirp all night
With the frogs
they were mimicking
Petitioning for a
single night off
To go to
the drag strip
Match race between
Sox and Jenkins
And eat the
hot black asphalt
During a heat
stroke resulting in
many broken parts
All over the
sticky starting line
leaving a piece
of irritated steel
hanging off their
Rusty front bumper
which needs a
triple chrome plating
and some panel
Alignment to match
up with the
edge of the
Wrinkled quarter panel
that apparently was
Covered in a
layer of "bog"
That was there
in the swamp
to scare everybody
away from the
really really big
hungry saltwater crocodiles
made into a
Zombie statues for
your shooting pleasure
As pictures need
to be made
For the year
ahead beginning with
A pic of
a slender young
Blonde with blue
skin and fuzzy
teeth which could
skin a watermelon
to it's core
Leaving only seeds
As a snack
to maximize postcount
Without a Mopar
now or ever
ice cream cone
For the kid
that has everything
But an antique
vacuum tube radio
that cannot receive
Signals from Voyager
spacecraft zooming away
Without a boosted
radio signal transmitter
that can extend
To the outer
limits of our
Over active imagination
fueled by forecasters
Who wish they
sexy super models
As news anchors
that weigh as
much as ten
Flies on a
Baby Ruth shaped
Serrano pepper oozing
Soothing sweet music
through the Klipsch
Sub woofers as
fine Scotch whiskey
In a glass
that's half full
Of french vanilla
ice crea glass
Topped with a
Madagascar hissing cockroach
Covered in chocolate
flavored Easter bunnies
Hidin in the
neighbors garbage can
At the curb
near the mailbox
That belonged to
the quadriplegic mime
With a red
hat and scarf
which were found
On a rainy
Mojave desert safari
That was won
By the Egyptians
In a chariot
Merry Christmas Skip
Full of lovely.....
Same to you JB :cheers:
I found it
Next to old