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Chargers and divorce.

Started by lloyd3, September 22, 2018, 09:11:34 PM

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lloyd3

My personal life is a trainwreck these days.  My extended illness with Lyme's Disease did some possibly irreparable damage to my now 33-year old marriage.  I'm now at month 4 in trying to save it but.....it's not going as well as I would have hoped.  What should I expect if my world comes apart? 

JB400

Don't give up hope.  I know it's hard, but stay strong, stay positive

RECHRGD

There's nothing positive to say here.  Just be sure that you get a good lawyer.......
13.53 @ 105.32

Kern Dog

Sell the car to a trusted friend and hope that she does not stumble upon your receipts or an accurate market value of the car.

tan top

Quote from: Kern Dog on September 22, 2018, 10:50:52 PM
Sell the car to a trusted friend and hope that she does not stumble upon your receipts or an accurate market value of the car.

what KD said
Feel free to post any relevant picture you think we all might like to see in the threads below!

Charger Stuff 
http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,86777.0.html
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http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,97261.0.html
C500 & Daytonas & Superbirds
http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,95432.0.html
Interesting pictures & Stuff 
http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,109484.925.html
Old Dodge dealer photos wanted
 http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,120850.0.html

alfaitalia

Quote from: Kern Dog on September 22, 2018, 10:50:52 PM
Sell the car to a trusted friend and hope that she does not stumble upon your receipts or an accurate market value of the car.

Unless divorce lawyers (and divorce rules) are very different over there I don't think even the dimmest one would fall for that!!
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you !!

Todd Wilson

Depends on your state and how much of a bitch she wants to be........my life and marriage has been screwed up for 3 years now and I checked with different lawyers. In my state (Kansas) they are concerned with the value $ of the marriage and that's it. What I found out and it could be different in your state was any vehicle I bought when I was single is mine. I had bought my 71 Charger in the 80's and she couldn't touch it. Also my 1995 Dodge Ram. I bought the house we live in now when I was single and she could get half of it. We lived together for several years before we got married. Stuff bought then could under a common law marriage situation as half hers. Anything bought after we were married she is entitled to half. Lawyers I talked to said Kansas generally didn't show much concern about vehicles so if she didn't pitch a fit I could walk away with all my vehicles. If not appraisals would have to be had and then each vehicle sold and half given to her. Daily vehicles usually were left alone but if things got shitty could come down to half on those too. She get half of your 401k and retirements. Half the house profit if you own it/ Half of any other properties..........half half half!!! You may be able to wheel and deal and maybe give her all the house and keep the charger or what ever..............I decided to sell my 1969 Dodge Charger while we were still married so she didn't get half..............that money has since disappeared.........


Todd




Stevearino

Not having the issue myself but here in North Carolina they don't want to hear anything about who did what to whom . If you split she gets half of everything no questions asked.

DAY CLONA

Quote from: lloyd3 on September 22, 2018, 09:11:34 PM
My personal life is a trainwreck these days.  My extended illness with Lyme's Disease did some possibly irreparable damage to my now 33-year old marriage.  I'm now at month 4 in trying to save it but.....it's not going as well as I would have hoped.  What should I expect if my world comes apart? 



I hate to say it, but your illness wasn't the cause of your marriage woes, just the excuse your spouse needed, women are "planners", she was just waiting for the "right time", and it sucks I know, I've been there, done this...

No need to get into any details, that's your private life, but IMHO if your headed for divorce, your spouse is no longer your "friend"... divorce has a way of bringing out the nasty in people, on both sides... best to remain as civil as possible, any confrontations/arguments will bite you in the ass later, the court systems are geared for the women, so you need to be proactive now, the comments of "selling your car off to a friend" to hide your asset only to secretly retrieve it later, won't fly with a judge/lawyer/court, they've seen this all to often, and in fact using tactics like this will only hurt you even more when a judge/lawyer and your spouse divide your lives and assets...

It's best to find out exactly what she really wants to leave, fights/arguments/threats will only leave her to resort to wanting the things that can/will hurt you more emotionally more than financially (this is the way women really think), I found it best to pretend to be her "friend" with her interests at heart, all the while guarding my child, home, accounts, 401K, assets, etc from being attacked by hurtful demands... you can do this long before any shyster lawyers are involved, no need for lawyers either if both sides agree to an amicable division of their lives assets, the judge can be another problem altogether if he/she is biased, or feels the agreement favors one party more than the other, but even the judge can be challenged in their decision, as long as your armed with the legal facts/terms/laws in written form...

FYI, my wife decided after 20 yrs she needed to be with a "Mr Romantic", yeah it hurt, but it was better to cut her loose for my emotional and physical/financial well being than to try and deal/live with the aftermath of a broken/repaired marriage, I represented myself Pro Se, as well as her in court (judge didn't like it, but was powerless to deny it) I retained full custody of my daughter, the home we purchased, my 401K, and all my toys.... she walked away from all debt incurred free and clear (which was my selling point to the judge), a new vehicle, and the clothes on her back free to live happily ever after with "Mr Romantic"... Trust me I didn't have a lenient Judge either, he threaten me with alimony, house sale, 401 K division, etc, etc, but I stood my grounds and "threatened" him I'd just have the case dismissed and moved to another court/judge if the agreement wasn't accepted by the court, I saw many guys represented by lawyers utterly destroyed financially in court by the judge, even when the other spouse was in the wrong, and openly protested the judges final decision, don't be one of those guys! stand your ground on that day

best of luck
Mike    

Mopar Nut

Get a women lawyer, not Hillary though...
"Dear God, my prayer for 2024 is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don't mix these up like you did the last ten years."

Challenger340

My understanding is anything acquired during the marriage, is divisible upon dissolution of the marriage ?  Unless you can prove the Charger was yours before your marriage ? it is an asset the value thereof to be divided.
Only wimps wear Bowties !

Lennard

After all the misery is over... be smart and never marry again.  
You'll just give another chick a free pass to legally rob you.

Kern Dog

I'm not sure that I want to know the answer but.....
To the lifelong bachelors, anti-marriage types, etc: What do you do about your sexual urges? Jerk off all the time ? Search for prostitutes?
Buy a $5000 sex doll ?  :eek2:
I have had some time between women but not years and years. Wouldn't you forget what a woman feels like after awhile?

Todd Wilson

Quote from: Kern Dog on September 23, 2018, 07:38:34 PM
I'm not sure that I want to know the answer but.....
To the lifelong bachelors, anti-marriage types, etc: What do you do about your sexual urges? Jerk off all the time ? Search for prostitutes?
Buy a $5000 sex doll ?  :eek2:
I have had some time between women but not years and years. Wouldn't you forget what a woman feels like after awhile?


If I could do it again I would get a 5000$ doll!

Todd


Polygon

Get a sharp sharp sharp lawyer. Also, you become on disability due to this Lyme disease then a whole new, what would you call? Favor on your side. From my brief experience, if you become disabled while married, then the spouse has a responsibility for her disabled partner. Again get a sharp sharp sharp lawyer.
www.lostinspaceforum.com

If you like the old TV show, Lost In Space, check out my page

ht4spd307

depending how deep in you are into the divorce sell your daily drivers with her approval tell her you need some disposable income for bills ect  give her half of the sales all in black & white then start using the charger as your daily driver .i'm pretty sure daily drivers get left out of the picture as its your primary way of transport to and back from work.

fastmark

if you live in a community property state, then half of everything you have acquired since marriage is half hers. That saved most of my cars and real estate in my 25 years of marriage. If papers are filed, then don't sell anything. Judges get pissed about that. Get the best lawyer you can find. Be careful on that.  Talk to friends about their lawyers. Don't get one that wants to be vengeful. If there is a lawyer in town with a bad reputation for expensive and drawn out divorces, go talk to them. That keeps your wife from getting them! If your car is taken apart, it is worth less money. You may need to rebuild the motor right? My 70 Charger RT was valued by " their" expert for $3000 because it had the motor and interior out! Matching numbers with nice original paint to boot. They valued my wrecked parts car 70 challenger for $6000. It's just a high stakes poker game in reality. My best advice is to patch things up, though. My daughter will not even talk to her mother still after 7 years. It will wreck the ENTIRE family, forever. My kids will never get over it. I bet money she has been talking to some old bitter divorced bitch that is encouraging her. Hope it works out for you ,bud. Been there.

alfaitalia

Quote from: Kern Dog on September 23, 2018, 07:38:34 PM
I'm not sure that I want to know the answer but.....
To the lifelong bachelors, anti-marriage types, etc: What do you do about your sexual urges? Jerk off all the time ? Search for prostitutes?
Buy a $5000 sex doll ?  :eek2:
I have had some time between women but not years and years. Wouldn't you forget what a woman feels like after awhile?

Hell....I used to get much more sex when I was single. Picking up girls in pubs and clubs each weekend until I found Mrs Right!! Did not find her until I was about 35 (so that was about 20 years of bachelor fun!!) and got married (for the first AND ONLY) time when I was 40. Sex now is probably at usual married couple level....you know, Christmas, Birthdays, when she dings the car and is trying to calm me down!!!
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you !!

lloyd3

The car is the least of my worries. I have a 14-year old that I love dearly.  The rest of my family is now gone.  The thought of living alone now at 60 is pretty ugly. It feels like God has abandoned me.

Mytur Binsdirti

Quote from: alfaitalia on September 24, 2018, 08:19:29 AM
Quote from: Kern Dog on September 23, 2018, 07:38:34 PM
I'm not sure that I want to know the answer but.....
To the lifelong bachelors, anti-marriage types, etc: What do you do about your sexual urges? Jerk off all the time ? Search for prostitutes?
Buy a $5000 sex doll ?  :eek2:
I have had some time between women but not years and years. Wouldn't you forget what a woman feels like after awhile?

Hell....I used to get much more sex when I was single. Picking up girls in pubs and clubs each weekend until I found Mrs Right!! Did not find her until I was about 35 (so that was about 20 years of bachelor fun!!) and got married (for the first AND ONLY) time when I was 40. Sex is probably at usual married couple level....you know, Christmas, Birthdays, when she dings the car and it trying to calm me down!!!

I've been told that if you use your other hand, it feels like someone new is doing it.  :2thumbs:

303 Mopar

Quote from: lloyd3 on September 24, 2018, 09:14:50 AM
The car is the least of my worries. I have a 14-year old that I love dearly.  The rest of my family is now gone.  The thought of living alone now at 60 is pretty ugly. It feels like God has abandoned me.

Very sorry to hear.  From personal experience, divorce is ugly and worlds get ripped apart. No one wins and your boy will suffer the most not only now but he will be scarred into the future in relationships, especially in his own marriage. Just being truthful.

My advice, don't argue over the small stuff because you will not want the memories anyway. Get it over as soon as possible before the lawyer sink their claws deeper into your bank account.  Move on and spend as much time as possible with your son. Don't talk negatively about your ex in front of your son, she will always be his mom and you are only hurting him.
1968 Charger - 1970 Cuda - 1969 Sport Satellite Convertible

Ponch ®

Quote from: lloyd3 on September 22, 2018, 09:11:34 PM
My personal life is a trainwreck these days.  My extended illness with Lyme's Disease did some possibly irreparable damage to my now 33-year old marriage.  I'm now at month 4 in trying to save it but.....it's not going as well as I would have hoped.  What should I expect if my world comes apart?  

Sorry to hear you're going through that. The short answer is....there is no short answer. What state do you live in? From then on, there are a ton of factors that determine what happens to your property (how you got it, when you got it, how you paid for it, where the money for it came from, and so on, and so on and so on). But yeah, get a lawyer.  Best case scenario, you are able to save your marriage and move on for the better; next-to-best case scenario you and your spouse work out a fair resolution on how things get divided.

Quote from: fastmark on September 24, 2018, 07:27:02 AM
if you live in a community property state, then half of everything you have acquired since marriage is half hers.

not everything. Generally, if you got it as a gift, inherited it, or bought it with money/assets you already had before marriage (or proceeds from selling the gifted property), its considered separate property and doesnt get halfed. Usually only the things you acquired with your earnings while married are halfed. It gets complicated though when, for example, you had the car before you got married but you used some "community" money to fix it, etc. That's when lawyers come in handy. Either way, I don't think he's in a CP state...

Quote from: Kern Dog on September 22, 2018, 10:50:52 PM
Sell the car to a trusted friend and hope that she does not stumble upon your receipts or an accurate market value of the car.

As it was said before, even a mediocre lawyer can see through that. They can still get to the proceeds from the "sale". It also may be illegal in most states, resulting in sanctions or worse. So no, do not follow this advise.
"I spent most of my money on cars, birds, and booze. The rest I squandered." - George Best

Chrysler Performance West

lloyd3

I won't quit trying to save this marriage until I can honestly say I have no regrets.  It's been the toughest 4-months of my life, but I'm willing to hang-on for the sake of my son. I'm just so gut-sick all the time. It's like one of us died.  So so sad here, all the time.  I get to where I don't think I can't do it anymore and then I think of what I'd be throwing away.  I pray for healing and I live for little rays of hope everyday.  I was so sick and for so long. I know I put her through hell.  I guess my hell is now.

Just 6T9 CHGR

Quote from: lloyd3 on September 24, 2018, 04:52:10 PM
I won't quit trying to save this marriage until I can honestly say I have no regrets.  It's been the toughest 4-months of my life, but I'm willing to hang-on for the sake of my son. I'm just so gut-sick all the time. It's like one of us died.  So so sad here, all the time.  I get to where I don't think I can't do it anymore and then I think of what I'd be throwing away.  I pray for healing and I live for little rays of hope everyday.  I was so sick and for so long. I know I put her through hell.  I guess my hell is now.
So I guess the "in sickness and in health"  doesnt apply any longer?   Sorry you are going through this
Chris' '69 Charger R/T


Ponch ®

Quote from: alfaitalia on September 24, 2018, 08:19:29 AM
Quote from: Kern Dog on September 23, 2018, 07:38:34 PM
I'm not sure that I want to know the answer but.....
To the lifelong bachelors, anti-marriage types, etc: What do you do about your sexual urges? Jerk off all the time ? Search for prostitutes?
Buy a $5000 sex doll ?  :eek2:
I have had some time between women but not years and years. Wouldn't you forget what a woman feels like after awhile?

Hell....I used to get much more sex when I was single. Picking up girls in pubs and clubs each weekend until I found Mrs Right!! Did not find her until I was about 35 (so that was about 20 years of bachelor fun!!) and got married (for the first AND ONLY) time when I was 40. Sex now is probably at usual married couple level....you know, Christmas, Birthdays, when she dings the car and is trying to calm me down!!!

THIS. no need for whores or real dolls if you're half decent looking and have some good game. If you're ugly AF and have the charm of a Dateline NBC predator, then yeah...hookers and jackie are probably your only/best bet.
"I spent most of my money on cars, birds, and booze. The rest I squandered." - George Best

Chrysler Performance West

6pkrtse

Sorry to hear about your illness & your possible divorce. Don't give up. It takes time but everything will come around. I went thru a divorce & I guess I was the one of the lucky ones. She moved out, I let her take whatever she wanted (took basically half of the house). Once out she was on her own. My kids all chose to stay with me. I was able to keep the kids, house, cars, truck, toys & bills of course. I couldn't be happier. No lawyers. We went in to court, said she has what she wants & so do I. She pays me no child support, I told the judge I didn't want it & I would raise my kids on my own.... We walked out of the court room & went our separate ways. We do our best to keep things civil for the kids the little bit they ever go to see her.
1963 Belvedere 413 Max Wedge
1970 Charger R/T S.E. 440 sixpack.
1970 Challenger R/T Drag Radial 528 Hemi
1970 Charger 500 S.E. 440 4 BBL
1970 Road Runner 383 4 BBL
1974 Chrysler New Yorker 440 4 BBL
1996 Dodge Ram 2500 V-10 488 cu in.
2004 Dodge Ram 3500 CTD Dually 6x6
2012 Challenger R/T Classic

RiverRaider

I hope things work out for you.  As for your Charger can it be protected from divorce by putting it into a trust for your son where you are the caretaker/operator of the vehicle until he reaches a 21 or 25 then becomes his? 
My first Charger was a Stock Car.

DanielRobert

A little to help you get over this.

The son will be your saving grace as long as you keep a great relationship with him. Fight for 50% custody, not just 50% legal guardianship( just makes you able to make legal decisions,etc)

You will also be happier than you ever knew you could be in time.

A fun idea for the car.....carefully take off the front clip and tell her the motor is blown, too....lessens the value and good for negotiating.

1972 Charger
1969 Roadrunner
1974 Trans Am

Ponch ®

Quote from: RiverRaider on September 26, 2018, 08:31:53 AM
I hope things work out for you.  As for your Charger can it be protected from divorce by putting it into a trust for your son where you are the caretaker/operator of the vehicle until he reaches a 21 or 25 then becomes his?  

As a general rule, and regardless of the jurisdiction, trying to gift, transfer, or otherwise try to change the ownership of property that is subject to division while in the process of dissolution is not an efficient (and may not be even legal, depending on how/what you do) way to "protect" it.  Now, if she agrees to that, for the benefit of the son, that's a different story.

In short, if the OP has legitimate concerns about what is going to happen to his car, other assets, and more importantly his son,  he needs to not pay attention to the awful "advise" being doled out by these keyboard Michael Cohens and go talk to a local lawyer who is well versed in the jurisdiction's family/divorce laws.  
"I spent most of my money on cars, birds, and booze. The rest I squandered." - George Best

Chrysler Performance West

69wannabe

Sorry about how things are going, I suppose most of of have been through a crappy divorce. I got escorted out of my own house and had to hunt a place to live for 4 months until mine was final. I finally got my old house back which she did not want thank goodness and I had to pay her half of what the charger was worth at the time which was 10 years ago. Luckily my daughter which was 13 at the time was told that when she turned 14 she could live with me if she wanted to so the day she turned 14 she called for me to come and get her. She was with me til she left for college and now she is 23 and basically grown. I was glad to have her hanging with her dad tho. If he is 14 then he is old enough to understand some of what is going on but it's still not something that's easy for him or for you....

HeavyFuel

Quote from: alfaitalia on September 24, 2018, 08:19:29 AM
Quote from: Kern Dog on September 23, 2018, 07:38:34 PM
I'm not sure that I want to know the answer but.....
To the lifelong bachelors, anti-marriage types, etc: What do you do about your sexual urges? Jerk off all the time ? Search for prostitutes?
Buy a $5000 sex doll ?  :eek2:
I have had some time between women but not years and years. Wouldn't you forget what a woman feels like after awhile?

Hell....I used to get much more sex when I was single. Picking up girls in pubs and clubs each weekend until I found Mrs Right!! Did not find her until I was about 35 (so that was about 20 years of bachelor fun!!) and got married (for the first AND ONLY) time when I was 40. Sex now is probably at usual married couple level....you know, Christmas, Birthdays, when she dings the car and is trying to calm me down!!!

True that, Alf.  Got more pussy by accident when I was single, than on purpose after getting married.  (After the two year honeymoon phase of course).

Jees, Kern, you post some random sh*t.

Kern Dog

Try living with this mind of mine. I have random ideas floating around ALL the time. Resisting the urge to say inappropriate  things is a full time job with me.

XS29J

go out and take $100 and retain all the bad ASS divorce lawyers in your town before she does.

Derwud

Quote from: Kern Dog on October 16, 2018, 11:26:45 PM
Try living with this mind of mine. I have random ideas floating around ALL the time. Resisting the urge to say inappropriate  things is a full time job with me.

I like they way you think!!
1970 Dodge Charger R/T.. Owned since 1981

HeavyFuel

Quote from: Kern Dog on October 16, 2018, 11:26:45 PM
Try living with this mind of mine. I have random ideas floating around ALL the time. Resisting the urge to say inappropriate  things is a full time job with me.

:lol:

(Sorry OP for getting sidetracked.....it sucks what you're going through, and I mean no disrespect to your situation.)

lloyd3