Thinking bout buying my son a car, bad idea??

[NHCharger]

I have two sons. My oldest is 19, a sophomore at college with a academic scholarship and his own car. Still don't know where he got the smarts.
My youngest just turned 16. He's not allowed to even touch a steering wheel until his grades improve, currently has 1 F, 1 D. he's a bright kid who has no interest in school. Does just enough to get by. He worked for me part time last summer and tommorrow he's helping me stack a cord of wood so he's not that lazy. When I look at him I see myself 30 years ago, and I turned out..., well never mind.
I promised my oldest son I'd get him a car if he was an honor roll student in high school. I'm thinking if I bought a car for my youngest son with the promise he can drive it if he makes honor roll might be a big incentive for him to improve his grades. I'm really torn if this is a good idea or just wait to spring, school will be almost over by then. Talk is cheap , if I actually had a car in the yard he could see everyday it might be an additional incentive.  Have not run this by the wife yet. We already have 7 cars in the yard and she thinks I'm a nut.
Any input from the teenagers on the board will be looked at like this

[inhrmswy]

Any input from the teenagers on the board will be looked at like this

[andy74]

i actually am having the same issue,my son is 14,be 15 on new years day.his grades last year were terrible,but he has started this school year off great,hasnt had a grade below a 85! so i have a dart body that my buddy says i can have cheap,and i have a 360 that i bought last summer,good machine work,mild build.my thoughts are like yours,if i put it together,and i let him drive it if he continues to stay on the straight and narrow,but what the hell will i do with it if he doesnt?

[chrisII]

i actually am having the same issue,my son is 14,be 15 on new years day.his grades last year were terrible,but he has started this school year off great,hasnt had a grade below a 85! so i have a dart body that my buddy says i can have cheap,and i have a 360 that i bought last summer,good machine work,mild build.my thoughts are like yours,if i put it together,and i let him drive it if he continues to stay on the straight and narrow,but what the hell will i do with it if he doesnt?

if he dont shape up then after he is outta school ya sell it an put the $ ya make in the deal into your own project. but even if his grades dont improve the first semester ya keep it an keep the option open. make sure that you get to enjoy the car some while he is trying to earn it.
    my personal experence is when i was a kid my dad made me this kinda deal, however never bought a car to tempt me with...my grades always sucked. i think it may have ben different if i had the car there..

[Khyron]

I say get the car and let him see it.

This is my problem soon too, My daughter is only 13, but at the age of 15 i'll have the dart / Duster here in her face. She gets great grades, but her attitude is whats poor. So my problem is getting her to behave enought for the car.

But there was another rule I set for her, she MUST help fix it up. I want my daughter to be able to wrench damnit.

[RD]

i would bring in a motor and tell him you help him with performance parts and have him build it up.   Once the engine is done he will want something to put it in.   this is a baby step process that way he has a lot of ownership in the process instead of just giving him a final product.   The better he does in school, the more hp he is allowed to get from the motor (to a degree, you get to make the rules).

plus, if you help him, it would be a great time for you to spend together, talk, and get to know one another.  A great chance for communication about the cigarettes, alcohol, sex, drugs, and other peer pressure associated deviant based behavioral problems.

[bluesfool]

We went thru this same deal with my stepson. He is 17 but he doesn't have a permit yet, although he is taking driver's ed right now. His grades and attitude hadn't been very good for several years and he was even held back this past year. He was also diagnosed with ADD several years ago. When he turned 16 he was told he wasn't allowed to drive until his grades/attitude improved. Both he and his brother (16 yrs old)  have cars waiting for when they get their license. The past 6 mos. or so have brought a very noticeable improvement in his schoolwork, attitude, and fewer teacher conferences. I don't know if it was the fact that he had a car waiting for him in exchange for a little hard work, or if he was embarassed by the fact that his younger brother would be driving before him, or what...but whatever it was, we're glad to see the change.

[Steve P.]

I went through the same thing with my older daughter.. Only she had very good grades to start with. My deal was that she keep her nose clean and that her grades cannot slide or else the car will slide back under the 4-SALE sign...

Now she is nearly 20 and the car is in the front yard with the 4-sale sign on it.. 

NOPE!!! She is doing well in colage and getting on with her life.. The problem is an X-boyfriend that finds her by finding the car. Around here it is a one of a kind.. Now she is driving a one in 10 billion Neon with dark tinted windows... 

I knew I should have just crippled that little jerk when I wanted to!!


I would talk it over with both your wife and son. Let him do the work on finding just the right car/truck. (Involvement means allot)!!! If his grades go up let him drive it with restrictions. If they keep climbing give him a bit more freedom.. If they slide so would the 4-SALE SIGN............

[Silver R/T]

heres my suggestion, make him work for it, I earned every car Ive got

[General_01]

Sounds like your son is taking your Grandpa's advice NH.

You and your wife will have to decide. I don't know your son, so I don't know if this motivation will work for him. I would say that if you do it, make sure all the rules are stated up front. Nothing will unmotivate him more if he thinks you and your wife can make the rules up as you go. I would also agree that participation and input from him is a must.

Good luck and I hope you are successful in motivating him.

[mustanghater]

my dad said the same thing last year so this year I'm working harder in school to get good grades

[ChargerBill]

Could you take him for a ride in a car just like the one he wants? Maybe have a friend with the same car come by every now and then? I mean, make some sort of deal with him - he needs to hold up his end and you will THEN buy the car. You see, he'll figure it out that once the car is part of the family he may not have to work quite as hard. Give hime a semester to prove he's serious...possibly make him earn the car by grades and chores, etc.... Tell him that he needs so many points to "buy" the car. A's = 6, B's = 4, C's = 1, and D's = MINUS 2, F's = MINUS 4. Make the car worth 50 points and see how serious he is. Maybe let him drive it SOMETIMES at 20pts earned, give him the keys to drive it whenever at 35pts and give him the pink at 50pts earned. Hey, this is off the top of my head, but it could work something like that. Maybe also make chores a condition...you miss your chores you lose points, but you do them all without fail for a certain period of time you gain points. But here's one thing I would avoid: again, my opinion here, but you shouldn't award "good" deeds. Kids need to learn that doing good things should come from the kindness of your heart, not because you are expecting a reward. Doing something good for someone else should a reward in itself.

Good luck, let us know what you decdide...

[6pkrunner]

When my oldest was 16 I bought him a Civic - long gone. Bought my duaghter a Shadow - had it three weeks and wrote it off. Bought my second oldest son a Supra - figure that one out yourself. Was given a LeBaron ragtop that I will give my youngest. So three for three is quite the record. The thanks I have is that none of them were hurt.
And the Supra was one of those couldn't say no deals that would have been gone in minutes. Sort of like the warehouse of hemi engines for $1000 - NOW!

[nh_mopar_fan]

Brian,

I like your idea. What does he drive now? Do you let him take one of the family cars? I'm in the same boat with my son. He'll be 15 in Febuary and has NO problem with the subject matter. He just doesn't want to do the work. I'be spoken to a few people who have been through this with their kids and they all told me the same thing. The biggest stick/carrot you have is the drivers license. They told me they finally got what they wanted when they said, no grades, no license.

I saw it first hand. Guy I work with, his kid was cutting classes, daily cals from the school, grades sucked. The next year, with the license in the balance, A's and B's. I was pretty envious. We used to compare phone calls and now his problem was solved.

Suffice it to say, I've already informed my kid hat he can forget drivers ed and a license until I see grades. Period.

Honestly, it's a wonder that I've made this far in life being the moron that he thinks I am. I keep telling him to hurry up and solve all the world's problems while he still knows everything.

I told him that the older he gets, the smarter I will get, just wait and see.

[Badbob]

For a first car something like this would do, gas mileage and cheap insurance is critical. If the kid wants to save money and get something better that's up to him.

[Stormhammer]

I agree with the above - get a good affordable car, and let him see it and let him know its his IF he brings up his grades. D/C the ignition system, and have it parked there so that everyday before school he will see it, and everyday after coming home he see's it - when his grades begin to come up, reward him with him being able to drive it once with you riding shotgun. Thats how it worked for me - at 15 I was having a low B GPA - by my senior year I had significantly pulled it up to a low A GPA, as well as achieving a few outstanding scientific achievment awards 
turned 16 and I knew that I wanted something more... so I worked that summer and earned enough money to buy a '72 Charger - I still have it

Now graduated, and 18, I worked this summer HARD again to earn money to buy a nice 2dr daily driver, while putting any extra money earned into a money market account devoted to both college and my Charger

and I will forever thank my mom for doing what she did to me back when I was 15 relating to my car and my grades

[Lowprofile]

i would bring in a motor and tell him you help him with performance parts and have him build it up.   Once the engine is done he will want something to put it in.   this is a baby step process that way he has a lot of ownership in the process instead of just giving him a final product.   The better he does in school, the more hp he is allowed to get from the motor (to a degree, you get to make the rules).

plus, if you help him, it would be a great time for you to spend together, talk, and get to know one another.   A great chance for communication about the cigarettes, alcohol, sex, drugs, and other peer pressure associated deviant based behavioral problems.

As a father of a 19 yr old son and two younger daughters, 15 & 11, I could not have said it any better.  Good Luck!

[myk]

I'm sure that most, if not all of us, had to earn their own wheels when the time was right.  My '69 was the first car I ever owned, and I slaved away for countless hours at the local McDonald's just to be able to buy it.  My family had no part in that process and they shouldn't have-driving and owning a car is a privelage that should be earned with blood, tears and sweat....preferably at some fast food joint, so that my pain can be shared...

[NHCharger]

Wow, great replies here. Even MH had some good input, there's hope for you yet .
I cut a deal with my son last spring on a computer. He wanted a new one so I bought it with the understanding that he had to work for me during the summer to pay me back half the cost. 2 or 3 days a week he was up at 5AM to go to work with me so I know he is capable of holding up his end of the bargin.
BadBob, I'm not sure a 4 door K car would inspire him to get better grades. We have a 90 Astro van AWD that we use for a back up car. I keep telling Marc that when he gets his license that bad boy is all his. He said he was going to have MTV pimp his ride.
I talked to my wife about this last night, she agreed in principle to the idea, we just have to hammer out the details. I have several cars he would like to drive, 2 Chargers, Stealth AWD/TT, Firebird, only in his dreams will he ever drive them. He really likes the Firebird so I might look around for a older model with the 3.4L engine. My insurance company does not consider is a sports car because of the engine size. I considered looking for a Mopar project we could work on together but any car around here is a bondo buggie. I checked out a 73 Charger(318)  last week, guy wanted $1,500. and it needs 10-12k of work. My son does help me work on the cars when I need help so we do have a pretty good father/son relationship.
Silver RT, I also see your point of view. However, when I was a teen my parents were able to help me out when I bought my first car. I'm in a postion where I can do the same for my kids. I would never buy them everything, because they would then come to expect everything to be handed to them. I've seen this happen with some friends, their kids are in their mid 20's and still ask Mom & Dad for money to help pay the bills.
Darryl, On our Winni cruise was that your 15 y.o. son that met you in Alton Bay? If so ,holy $hit, sign him up with the Pats, he is one big boy.

[bull]

I've pondered this myself although my girls are very young. I was never handed anything by my folks, partly because we were very poor and partly because I was always expected to make my own way. My dad let me borrow a '74 AMC Hornet he got in trade for something but it was understood that it was not mine to keep. They did give me a few things here and there but nothing big. The most I ever got was a 100cc Kawasaki.

Anyway, I digress. Some kids are bored with school because they just get it and they'd rather spend time elsewhere. Other kids see it as a challenge to outdo others or push themselves, whatever. I'm sure your boys are very different in many ways. I think whatever you choose to do I think he should have to earn it in a way that compliments his style. But then if he's as bright as you say than he should be able to apply himself easily enough for the right motivation.

[greatwn73]

        I have an eighteen year old son and for the last three years my wife and and I have struggled with failing grades, ADD, and a number of teen problems that no parent should go through.We have never equated a car to good grades but were clear that he had a place to live and food on the table as long as he was in school. My son got his licence over a year ago and drives the family Blazer and occasionally the Charger but we only discussed a car of his own when he could afford it. I aquired an extra vehicle last Febuary with the intention that it would be his when he was ready and it sat until now. Over the summer my son got two part time jobs, a girlfriend and saved enough to insure and safety the car.
       Although car ownership was the most important thing to most of us and would have done anything to get one not all teenagers have it as a priority.
        Today my son drove his car to work for the first time. I'm sure that he will enjoy it more knowing that he earned it and it wasn't just a reward.

[beenaround]

nh i agree with the members who had to work for their 1st car.i think he needs to feel he earned/worked to get it in the end.it will make him a better person.

[mustanghater]

a geo! those thigs are popular at my school. their cheap 4-wheel drive and come in some cool colors.

[Stormhammer]

a geo! those thigs are popular at my school. their cheap 4-wheel drive and come in some cool colors.

those things are freaking death traps

[MoparYoungGun]

I know you said any intout from teenagers will be looked at like this but I'm going to give my anyway. I do good in school, I work had, I get A's and seldom a B. When I start driving (almost there) an incentive like a car would definitely make me want to get my grades up/keep my grades up. So, if your goal is to get his grades up/keep his grades up I think that this would do it.

a geo! those thigs are popular at my school.

WHAT?! I agree with Storm, those things are death traps. I rode in one once and NEVER will again. My uncle had borrowed one from a friend while he was visiting from FL one time. We we driving down the highway, doing about 4,000rpms at 60. We had semis passing us! Also, this one was a soft top model. Lets just say the top didn't last long on the freeway.

[Mopar440+6]

I know you said any intout from teenagers will be looked at like this but I'm going to give my anyway.

Same here. I say make him work for it. Use the license to get the school stuff where it should be but make him work for the car. If he works for it he WILL learn alot and he'll put alot more value where it should be...

[greatwn73]

Mustanghater; close but its a Pontiac Sunrunner

Stormhammer; I also thought these things were "death traps" but with a full frame and 4wd its probably safer than a cavalier or neon. Rust is its biggest enemy and this one was was garaged all its life with only surface rust around the wheel well. Cheap to insure and cheap to repair and gets 44mpg , its just what a young driver (working part-time) needs to start his driving career.

Moparyounggun; 4000 rpm at 60  your uncle should learn how to select the right gear, and how to fasten a soft top.

[Arkgl01]

OK I can relate here, when I was 16 and doing fair in school my dad said he would get me a car but nothing special...I found a 87 Buick grand national with 50,000 original miles and was actually owned by a older lady who got it after she got her insurance money...anyways my dad and I had a LONGGGGG talk and he said if I got one ticket it would be gone. I knew he wasn't joking. I took more pride in that car, I got up before school and washed it and wiped it down and never got a ticket. He took it away one time cause I wasn't where I said I was...over at a girls house of course!!! I think its between you and your son (or daughter), ever kid is different, my brother got a 78 vette with a 454 and after the first night was in JAIL!!! my dad simply didn't help him with cars and he rode the bus and with friends....

hope I helped!!

[SirNik73]

my situation was a little bit diffrent, i had good enough grades to get a car so my dad gave me his comuter toyota. it was crap. and i treated it like crap. on day i recked it. i was on my dads $hit list. he didn't want to get me another car because of the way i treated the last one. so after a few months him and i worked out a deal. i found the same car a wrecked and i i got it for a few hundred bucks, the new car barly ran and had tons of problems. i had to use the wrecked car for parts and rebuild the new car. by the time i was done with it i had tons of respect for that car. i still have it and i love it (and rememebr its a peice of $hit toyota) so my sugestion would be, give him a budget of $500 to get a car he really wants. don't let him get something just to have wheels. then tell him that for every A he'll get an amount of money tward fixing the car. in high school having a nice car is everything. he'll ether work his butt off getting good grades or get a job working (teaching him real life lessons) and by the time the car is nice he'll have learned a lot and he'll have respect for the car.

[hemihead]

My son turns 16 tomorrow( Oct. 11) and I am thinking about getting him a Dart or something just for a driver.

[nh_mopar_fan]

Darryl, On our Winni cruise was that your 15 y.o. son that met you in Alton Bay? If so ,holy $hit, sign him up with the Pats, he is one big boy.

Brian, Yeah, that was Josh. He'll be 15 in Feb. Last I checked, he was 6'6" 280.

FWIW, if he folloowed through, he's getting the wife's 2001 PT. It's small (can't fit a lot of pals in it)l, airbagged, and disgustingly underpowered.

That's a nice combination.....

[nh_mopar_fan]

a geo! those thigs are popular at my school. their cheap 4-wheel drive and come in some cool colors.

those things are freaking death traps

My sister got broadsided by a FED-X in her Tracker and walked away. That thing was toast.

[Charger500]

I'm 16 and I just got my first car...1970 dodge charger 500...440ci ooooooyeah. Tell him to bring up the grades and offer to split the price of the car that sounds fair enoguh.

[THE CHARGER PUNK]

i turn 17 on feb.17th and my dad told me if i want a dodge charger he told me to get off my ass get a job and go buy one (mind you my dads buddy knows where most of the 68-70 chargers are sitting in my town  :Dand can get me an R/T thats right an R/T for the small amount of $2500)sweet deal eh? im going for a 68 r/t to turn into a restored version of the blade car from the 3rd movie,thus guy owns a triple black 70 r/t 6-pack 4-spd car and is currently restoring a triple green 68 r/t ex-cop car and a 70 ex-cop cafury which he is loading with nitrous and a punched 440-MATT

[derailed]

i turn 17 on feb.17th and my dad told me if i want a dodge charger he told me to get off my ass get a job and go buy one (mind you my dads buddy knows where most of the 68-70 chargers are sitting in my town   :Dand can get me an R/T thats right an R/T for the small amount of $2500)sweet deal eh? i

what town do you live in again?

[BigBadCharger]

Don't get him an SRT-4. They are fast but very dangerious for young kids who don't know how to drive a car. I own an Infiniti and a WRX and both are fast but I know what im doing... make teh right decision!

[dodgeboy67]

well heres how it was at my house....c average to even think of drivers ed..................and if i was lucky enuff to go to drivers ed(which i wasnt.....so i can relate to your son)....i still wouldve had to buy my own car(77 vega wagon)

i wouldnt buy the car untill the grades improve.....if you buy it now , eventually hell sucker you into that drivers seat, bad grades or not.....if you tell him that youll buy a car for good grades...that really should be enough incentive(unless you have a habit of breaking promises to your kids.........and surely that isnt the case)

kids need to learn these days ....nothing is free..........good luck

and remember...opinions are like buttholes ...we all have them..this is just mine