Same rules, but for those that might not know 'em: Five words only. After you've posted someone else must post before you can add again.
Now you know the game.
I'll start.
And then there was light...
..ining and his funky Diplomat...
...was Mr. Creed drawing Chargers...
on the playschool drawing board....
....saying that two doors cars....
do not market well, while..
while drache our post hore... ;)
was getting ready to start...
an anti-Creed campaign when...
they realized it was a....
irrelevant without the proper antidisestablishment
Drop The Candy Old man!!!!
You can't chew without teeth....
...and your fly is unzipped..
step away from the kid
..put your hands behind your...
..back Michael Jackson, you are..
a didler and not welcomed
and whap!! there it goes....
so keep stepping freak beast!
, but I like how you
grab your nuts and scream
why is my car still
putting and spitting black smoke
that's caused by the big
...big'ol potato up the tailpipe... ;D
of a crapy looking mustang
or was it a chevy
...no, it's an 06 Charger....
.......why no, its a Magnum....................
...Mojos' purty '74 planter box?... :lolexplode:
or maybe it was a
big brown turd on wheels.........................
it's not the new toyota
..but its Jenna Jamesson who.. :yesnod:
...posed nude on my car.... ;D
and I haven't washed it...
but the hood smells funny
like a tuna fish sandwich
but it tastes more like...
chicken salad from this Denny's...
..share it with Jenna Jamesson...
..and to return favor she..
puked on my new wheels....
while mojo debates on posting
.. posting in this thread or..
feeding my dog a hamhoc
I'll be cleaning up the...
bathroom after i had an
egotistical moment that only subsides....
long enough to grab another...
..round with Jenna Jamesson and...
..eat some more chicken lipps.. :P
i wish my mother still
cleaned my laundry, 'cause it's.....
..full of stains left after..
I lost control of my...
butt muscles holding things in....
including things I never seen..
Damn hot wheel really hurt....
now for something completely different...
spam, spam, bacon and spam.....
who loves bacon and spam...
baked beans, spam, sausage and.....
spam,spam, and baked beans
beans, beans the more you......
...meant beans, beans, the magical...
fruit the more you eat
the more you puke on
remembering to read the rules...
... is necessary if you plan
.. to date lovely Jenna Jamesson...
who is in the back...
sitting on Tom's johnson outboard
..singing im in heaven and..
dusting off her rug with
..long oversize shaft found by..
..Jenna in my boxers and...
hard for her to put...
..the lollypop in her mouth..
with the chili dog cookin'...
..heatboiler is about to pop...
all over her ham sandwich...
..but wanting Corn Flakes with..
milk and honey with alot..
...sugar but just enough to...
to get some of her
..sweet girl friends to join...
cleaning up the potato salad...
..and open the vine bottle..
for a couple nice stiff...
..biceps that made the women..
scream for more. Her kitty
sucked the life out of
me when i was just
..about to make my move...
on Jenna Jamesson's fine little
..lips, but I forgot how..
to get my pants to do
The dirty little monster dance
on her miserable little head
while she is screaming for
more ice-cream, then she
deserves, but i still would
find time to pull the
ice cream cone from her...
i think you are sweet
. . . is what she blurted out . . .
before her teeth fell out
and i picked them up
and put them in the
freezer so she can use
to perk up her pionty
little sweaty and round perfect..
toes, that kinda smell funny
when she soaks them in
hot chili sauce for an....
red hot chilliepepers fan to
jump off the rafters into-----------
the chocolate pudding wrestling pit...
cause MeFirst loves Jenna Jamesson
the crowd screamed yee ha
because they all had crabs
,then the biggest woman ever . . .
...Jumped over the General Lee...
and landed on Drache's face
and smothered him to death
Then RD stole his charger
and rammed it up his
where the sun don't shine
After removing it he drove . . .
south on buckah duckahlucka street
heading directly in the path...
of one of ChargerRT440's thugsters
searching for King's Kong and
his can of Bear Mace....
to save Jenna Jamesson from
the hoodlums in ChargerRT440's neighborhood
and would-be ravishings of
his studebaker with charger emblems
smothered in green peppers, tomatoes
and bear droppings smelling like
Kong's breath on a hot
day at the mopar nationals
while standing next to none-other-than
Godzilla!
Jenna Jamesson ran into
the two fruits IBsmokin and LahTera (hehe)
who kicked RD's Studebakers tires
and proceeded to launch into
one of RD's childish rants (ha ha)
about how mustang owners are
the ones he fantasizes about
getting their tires blown off
Trevor creed is a jackass
who farted in Wakko's face
Wakko promptly cuffed him upside ...
the melon and said TC........
. . . you have the right to . . .
..take your new Chagnum and..
stick it on the wall
all because Troy said so,
Troy who , oh , the boss
I thought he said maybe?
i said it could be
it could be what? huh?
a while before we post....
..we love Jenna Jamessons boobs...
. . . about as much as a . . .
set of nice, round, firm...
..muffins with a pink cherry pop...
. . . and a full can of . . .
whipped cream, just waiting for...
this thread to be locked :D
because of the boob talk
what about blue footed boobie?s
Then the blown Charger accelerated . . .
towards the growing light at...
the end of her street
awaiting the moment to smash...
through the pile of fords...
i wish i was taller
so the pile of Fords...
..making out with Jenna Jamesson...
what did ME just say...
. . . the collision sent the Mustangs . . .
..towards a journey to hell...
which distracted Me's attempts to...
..have premarital XXX with Jenna...
Then Jenna floored the Charger . . .
and did a smokey burnout.........
all around the beer joint...
and lost clothing to which...
i paid big money for
to look like the BeeGee's
:bump:
i would pay to see
andy74 buy mustanghater a beer.....
but that would be illegal
so the nameless thirsty drivers
WENT TO CHUCKY CHEESE!
and Greenpigs was deep asleep....
because the search showed nothing
...so i searched for greenpigs ...
..on the best forum board..
i thought i ate that
corn last week, but there...
was still some left in
......like sawdust in hlpag's transmissions....
i said what the hell...
is this corn or sawdust . . .
cause it's itching me between...
..my legs so I need..
that someone be so kind...
..and get me cold beer..
To pour on Jennas tight
and perfectly shaped to my
don't know what that means...
had to start it up again :D
Quote from: RD on May 19, 2006, 10:43:13 AM
don't know what that means...
since you failed English class.....
because you were to busy.....
thinking about your teachers wonderful
hairy mole. The bell rang.....
... but then i woke up ...
and had to take a
...flight, to meet my beloved...
Jenna before Ron Jeremy took
advantage of the situation, and
(geez Johnny, how far back was this thread buried?? :icon_smile_big:)
Get a life because Troy
knows that we're keepin' clean
until the heroin arrived late
...again. Suddenly, hookers underneath my
.. ("my ass under", he meant)....
to find the Beaver for...
...that "dam" Camaro driving idiot....
Tufcat wants to go to
the Playboy Mansion party and... :icon_smile_big:
Rub lotion all over the....
your head can fit well
Quote from: skip68 on September 25, 2008, 09:52:00 AM
Rub lotion all over the....
:shruggy:Â (Hey, what happened here moparstuart?)Â :shruggy:
Quote from: moparstuart on September 25, 2008, 09:56:25 AM
your head can fit well
inside your ass, but you...
need your head to see.....
:'(
Stuart, .....I thought we were close to moving our relationship "to the next level" ! :smilielol: :smilielol: :smilielol:
decided that it might not
edit: damit tuf ok um disregard that he beat me to it
if you can really get
tickets to the playboy mansion....
perry mason can do it
in a wheelchair while rolling
the San Fran Hills screamming :o
that his brakes are out :cheers:
with a black charger chasing
its straight pipe HEMI blarring
as tuner owners shake in
their fiberglass covered four bangers
when suddenly the beave says..
gee walley whats that noise
,is it my Hanson records
...oops! It's a Ford Fiesta!
with cragar rims and two
big cherry bomb glasspacked mufflers :icon_smile_big:
Alternate:
speakers blaring Johnny B. Goode :punkrocka:
with twin turbos and nitrous
then BOOM it took a
wicked turn for the worst
there was a cowboy doing
a reenacted brokeback mountain scene....(you knew it was coming)
starring two of the forums
:rofl:
members that really needed haircuts :nana:
who soon became famous for...
riding bareback in the rodeo
but during one of their
Rodeo tours found a HEMI :D
under the hood of one
mustang that was rotting along
a charger with a 428CJ
ford torino, which rhymes with
Dan Marino the quarterback for
dolphin who blew a seal
because he needed the money...
to start a race team
that only lasted one year
since selling the car was
inevitable, he turned to the
sleesy little crack ho for
a shoulder to cry on
And a little "some some" :icon_smile_cool:
but all he got was
big round red spots on
his shirt from an exploding....
Sharpie marker. The loud noise
made cinnamon run away yelling
now Walter, your being hard
to look at drooling like
WingCharger reading the chicks on
pedal cars thread at www.moparpedalcars.com
when he got his new
1980 Dodge W200 318cu.in. hauler
...with Richard Petty mud flaps...
and a Hemi hood scoop
dark tinted windows hide the
porn on the front seat...
that manfred318 begs to buy :D
with his money from selling
his Charger because he's desperate :icon_smile_big:
like drunks licking deposit bottles.
Then suddenly what to my
Shakespeareian thoughts I ponder, but...
a cop, doing an illegal...
(You know, you kinda screwed my idea up :brickwall:) Still funny.
360 at Donutland's drive-thru for
(oh well, it is 5 words, not 5 sentences....lol)
the third time, suddenly the
brakes failed , a tire blew
and woke up the old...
guy sleeping on his huge
wife's, never been used, exercise
Quote from: Old Moparz on September 26, 2008, 10:09:46 PM
wife's, never been used, exercise
machine she bought to shrink
her huge jiggly butt, that...
Looks like it should be.
fat asses really should be
not big enough to crush
her husband when she sit's
on his lap during football :nana:
Quote from: WingCharger on September 27, 2008, 08:29:26 AM
on his lap during football :nana:
games when the neighbors are
outside washing their rusty cars
with naked lady mudflaps and
a fiberglass jcwhitney.com body kit
like the semi in maximum...
"Overdrive" movie when they become....
possessed because Stephen King's freaky
Plymouth Fury runs them over
after he kissed the girl
and made her cry , then
found out she's pregnant with
Scank or Gutterboy's cretin child
Moochy gets killed by Christine
but the wrath will live
unless the Tall Man gets
with the monkey at the
wheel while his girlfriend is...
(PG-13) rating
sitting there looking at you
drinking the embalming fluid fast
while listening to AC/DC soundtrack....
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
licking every last drop :slap:
meanwhile the Beav is wondering
why Mom was wearing a...
Smile from ear to ear....
since Mr. Cleaver's Viagra money
Was stolen from the cookie.
jar Eddie Haskel was seen
patting the Beaver with the
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
strangest looking glove that was
William Shatner bought for him
from the Michael Jackson museum...
that TUFCAT wants to visit ::)
because its a nice place...
if you don't bring kids
to smell the famous glove
and resell on eBay for
money to get car parts
or OJ's memorabilia. Stocks today
can be used to wipe
the blood stains from the
Man on the grassy knoll
who got his ass kicked...
while singing Neil Sedaka's new
version of, "ice, ice, baby",
(Mrs.Skip68 ;))
to Heather Locklear in jail....
and she is looking like
she had a rough night...
With Skip68 and the TUFCAT :cheers:
she ate the tequila worm....
And got sick in the.
back of the squad car
and after she was booked
charged with "being a hag"
she halucinated about desert snakes
And then was booked again
for showing her dark roots
that weren't on her head.
but even looking bad, tufcat
Quote from: moparstuart on September 29, 2008, 09:46:28 AM
but even looking bad, tufcatÂ
still decided to "hit that"
we all knew he would
since it's been 27 years
since Heather had an orgasm
with william shatner her true
lover that'll even hump green
little men wearing space suits....
that came to abduct tufcat
and brought tribbles with them
After Old Moparz shot them
for tresspassing while he was....
sitting on his outdoor toilet
reading the latest MCG issue...
then ripped out page 5
because it tasted like chicken
and the burrito was coming :o
from out the back door...
with expediency seldom ever seen
so I taped it shut
with his fancy duct tape...
but it didnt hold it
The tape fell off his
big old fat white round
rotten cadillac NOS whitewall tire
which is his toilet seat
last used by Jenna Jameson.....
in her newest movie, called...
"Using A Tire Toilet Seat"
meanwhile, the stock market also
shit inside its mess kit
right before a man started
to climb out the window
to jump to his death...
after looking at his 401k
while listening to orson wells
burp & tell Martian stories
when he hit the ground
from too much bad cholesterol
and a wife that won't
hit it like tufcat does
but sometimes watching TV can....
make you miss getting some
FUNKY COLD MADENA, TUFFCAT STYLE ............ :yesnod:
or Cubs fans waiting for
the curse to be lifted
meanwhile, the Cincinnati Reds kick
soccer balls until spring and
still beat the NY Yankees ;)
even though they really couldnt
play full force against them :icon_smile_big:
because they were distracted by.......
tufcat streaking across the field :eek2:
with "I love WingCharger" written.....
(PG-13)
on the stands by Claire
(Claire is my girlfriend :icon_smile_big:)
Oh, TUFCAT, you changed what you wrote too... :icon_smile_dissapprove:. I am dissapointed. Just Kidding. :icon_smile_big:)
riding on tuffcats shoulders shouting
Quote from: PocketThunder on September 30, 2008, 04:11:35 PM
riding on tuffcats shoulders shouting
DC.COM!!! DC.COM!!! DC.COM!!! DC.COM!!! DC.COM!!!
(I hope that's only five words) :D
IS THE BEST INTERNET SITE!!
(This is making absolutly no sense anymore. :rotz: But, I will keep posting for the fun of it. :yesnod: ;D)
for girls into old cats.... :icon_smile_big:
when William Shatner came running
in to the room wearing...
nothin but leggs panty hose
protesting this William Shatner topic....
because TUFCAT loves his movie
trivia and hot chicks on...
the SCI-FI channel at 1am
When all of a sudden
I saw that Hotwire commercial
but i checked priceline instead
and felt a hotwire in
my pants until I saw...
plumbers butt on Rowdy Rody
(WingCharger thinks this thread is actually supposed to make sense) :rofl: :smilielol: :smilielol:
with 36" hair. The fried
green tomatoes movie was about
to make me puke when
I realized that I had
a lasagna in the oven....
that was slightly over done
and it smelled like rotting
skunks that had just finished
Eating a bowl of hot
wings made with giant turkey
feathers and cheese doodles that
Are the size of a
really big, steamy pile of
(doesn't this remind you of the Austin Powers movies with whole Johnson reference?)
ranch dressing and hot sauce...
So I puked my guts
and downed yet another beer
so she looked better than
Anna Nicole Smith, post mortum,
(Yes, I am gross & Bad)
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
looked better then j howard :smilielol:
but certainly not Eliza Dushku :drool5: :drool5:
with a stake in her
heart from Buffy Summers who...
thought she was filming when
ice fell from the sky
Cody, Tuffcat and the Beav..
we're personally invited to her...
nude party, but declined. Regretfully,
because other hotties needed them....
because they played D&D instead
as moparstuart watches Howey Mandel...
hosting deal or no deal...
i'll take suit case 15
held by the hot, semi-naked (its one word, just hyphenated)
bimbo with David Layson's haircut...
that cost him a lot
that stole PocketThunders Hillside Hemi
because he thought it was....
a hemi cut in half
so i settled for the
440 Hemi you found yesterday ::)
but he didn't tell us....
That it's registered to a
a crooked member on DC.com
who remain nameless, meanwhile the
then the check finally arrived
but it was bad, so...
ravens knocking on their window
(Yes, The Raven, by Edgar Poe)
thus quote the am radio
Quote from: moparstuart on October 01, 2008, 08:19:18 PM
thus quote the am radio
wasn't "knocking" on heavens door.....
It was pounding with hammers
thor had them made from
platinum, just like my ring
that you wear on your
ring finger! The birdable is
such an awesome concept but
hasn't seen much road use
with an in-dash radio photo
factory am 8 track radio
that works better being installed....
in Lonestars Winnebago with the
shag carpet, jacuzzi, mirrored ceiling,
while cruising down to mexico
to get away from the
Federal agents looking for motohomes.......
While the local authorities try
head 36" socket off of
that was wired for 220
which vibrated the steering wheel...
so it shorted out his
bionic arm and bionic pelvis...
which almost crippled Vida Guerra
so the low life was
below the belt and exciting...
just then, the motorhome swerved
boot glued to the gas
pedal at Bob's Country Bunker....
Quote from: TUFCAT on October 02, 2008, 02:11:24 PM
pedal at Bob's Country Bunker....
heard the good olds blues....
they have both cinda music
band played "country and western".....
but they love chicken wire
and the bluesy Rawhide theme
and stand by your man
with a bottle chucking crowd....
now for something completely different
"Rocket 88" by Ike Turner :punkrocka:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gbfnh1oVTk0
or tina's proud mary rollin http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54XRNQ2C2x0
because the boat flipped from...
Ike beating Tina's hot ass....
after the cooler became naty-lightless :nana:
WAIT! ... I drink Natty Light! :'(
Even though the aftertaste is... :D
is better coming back up
after drinking that bad zema :eek2:
makes ugly chicks look better
like beer does for bill
Clinton, chasing homely interns like,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
Monica, who takes care of......
All of Bill's polishing needs
she would like a cuban
flag to fly high up
her blue dress from Gap
old navy would have looked
slimer on her big fat
ass. :D
She was driving her
fat friends to a party....
at linda tripp's new condo
after boating with Gary Hart....
Quote from: TUFCAT on October 03, 2008, 12:37:01 PM
after boating with Gary Hart....
and dreaming of jennifer flowers
posing slutty on Birdable's hood.....
but she dented the nose
then blew his engine again
but he didnt know so...
he tried to start it
and a rod blew through...
his pants, his mechanic thought....
it he was excited, but
found an "emision control" leak.....Â
where the government got involved
and decided to plug his
but, he would not let
let plug his money maker
like a rump shaker, all
(i wanna do is run a zoom zoom zoom in a boom boom) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKKONgfNONU
the kings horses and all
The kings Men wanted to
"hit that" one time again  :drool5: :drool5: :drool5:
but the trailer-park was burning...
and an arsonist was loose
going by "Frank the tank" ....
big & fat & stank
like high hell, making people
when his feet came out
and hit him in the
nads, which hurt somethin awful... :nutkick:
and turned b five blue
into black balls!! Oh Snap
(Brian you cant post two in a row, you have to wait till someone else posts.) :nono:
they fell into the dinner
line at the soup kitchen
where Kato Kalen was dining,
On Mountain oysters and a
chinese sum yung gye soup
that had a lead taste :slap:
to it, just like chicken
that PocketThunder sold to TUFCAT
for his coop. TUFCAT'S other
kitty likes to eat steak
at Outback steak house, just
it is way too expensive
especially with all those Foster's :cheers:
that get the cats loaded
seeing double and feeling single
Singin' blues while lady cats....
run away from the smell
of a jealous skunk who...
that looked like pepe lepeu
speaking "the language of love".... :icon_smile_wink:
also sometimes known as TUFCATenese
But just then, The Cat's
out of the bag, so
TUFCATS back in the doghouse :shruggy:
which gave him time to
devise a master plan to
Take over the world and.
complete his evil plan too
takeover a cathouse in Nevada
he'll raid it under moonlight
and throw out the dogs
except for the Tufcat quality
:cheers:
...called "kitty's of the evening"
his clientele list is impressive,...
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
lots of rocks stars flock
like seagulls and run so
far away to get some...
satisfaction or just some sympathy
before the "Bad Boy" avatar....
Was seen on the local
broadcast of America's Most Wanted, :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
Now he's out catting around
with some of Tuffy's castoffs, :nana:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
In a part of town
that was less then desirable
with no cable or internet
only drawings being shaken by
the earth quake that came
From Brock's Hippy friends dancing , :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
at haight and ashbury street
...or hate 'n ash bury...
(http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:05dEkY3rR_BcHM:http://www.bbcamerica.com/media/216/gene_anthony--_hippies_on_the_corner_of_haight_and_ashbury,_1967.jpg)
(http://a458.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/64/s_95bfc17621776dd7f5252a4cc2520431.gif)
(http://is0.okcupid.com/users/156/664/1566642811609810544/mt1114812131.jpg)
(http://msnbcmedia1.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/070621/070621_summeroflove_bcol_3p.standard.jpg)
jerry gave him a box
it contained stuart's new dashiki
1. Dashiki 1 up, 25 down
When you're smoking weed specifically from a bong and someone passes it to you without clearing all of the smoke. Basically a command to tell a person to finish that shit up!
c'mon man! dashiki! or dashiki, dashiki, dashiki!
by Charlie Hustle May 13, 2005 share this add comment
2. dashiki 31 up, 9 down
Swahili for Doggystyle
(see The movie "Don't be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your juice in The Hood)
Yo I bAnged Dat Ho Dashiki, Dat Ho From 24th?....Yeah Thats Da Bitch
by PudgeMasterFlex Fool, betta Reconize May 4, 2004 share this add comment
3. dashiki 22 up, 5 down
1) A loose fitting, colorful African garment.
2) A loose girl who uses men to get things they want.
1) Stewart was wearing his dashiki today to celebrate Kwanza.
2) Look at that dashiki over there...hey, didn't you get with her?!?
brocks frock looked much better
than a new set of
plugs from the napa store
where Stu spends all his
money on new parts for
the birdible that never runs
keeping tuner owners happy. Everyone...
(Hey Brock, I have a dashiki somewhere, just haven't worn it in so many years.....) :lol:
wants Old Moparz dashiki pics, :lol:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
driving his VW micro bus
with the peace sign on
his a$$ screaming and jumping
:smilielol:
because it was branded on
him when he went to
tree hugger bull's secret eco-rally
wearing his dashiki of course
with his ass fully exposed
and eating tofu burgers with
FLG in his Charger panties
washing Moparz charger just like
...he needed a "special" favor...
Moparz screamed when BigRed went
with 60 grit sandpaper to
the front of him best
suited for a gentle "mangroomer"
that wanted ricky to shake
Julian's and Bubbles' Big Dirty
chicken and bangin that's nice
stealing coins because they're untraceable.....
to the common man but
We know where they from.
the Denver mint because they
...love April Wine and Helix...
but I'm so very confused,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
cause April Wine's way better
than the crap that Tuffcat, :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
spewed in his last post. :cheers:
then he covered it up
Hi Jackie, I love you.............not part of this thread but thought I'd throw that out there :icon_smile_big:
and :icon_smile_wink: I luv you too
yay, god bless us everyone
I laughed so hard after that one I almost peed a little. NOW THAT IS SOME FUNNY STUFF!!!!
oh you want five words.......................................(there it was over there to the left... 5 words)i can't stop giggling.
Mikepmcs is needing some depends, :smilielol: :nana: :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
To soak up the wet.
The Russian speaking Mexican said...
take the gun and hide
in the back of my
Chevy van, and it's alright
with me. Now it won't
(for the youngins:)
Like a picture she was laying there
And moonlight dancing off her hair
She woke up and took me by the hand
She's gonna love me in my Chevy van
And that's all right with me
settle the fact that you...
keep on rolling, Mississippi queen
... "you know what I mean" :icon_smile_big:
not really, but Ill pretend...
I didn't hear zippers when
blazzing saddles sherriff said excuse
me while i kiss the
sky I rode in on :shruggy:
all four flat tires today,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
on my 4x4 golf cart
that is a replica of
a giant pigeon with two
crazy looking "Gene Wilder" eyes...
as opposed to Betty Davis
or kim carnes crazy smile
and Betty Davis's eyes on . . .
a freakishly weird ghost owl....
that waits on your roof...
readying to pounce the kitty, :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
I'll remember that line next
time I go shopping for,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
new matching carpet and drapes
for the "boom, boom", room,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
shag would look really keen
http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/871459640.html
...in Lucy and Sarah's trailer...
but totally narly in motorhomes
With the walls painted like
paint balls shot all over
Ooops, call the painter again.... :icon_smile_big:
I WANTED "PIMPED-OUT" PURPLE!!!,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
but i got pumkin patch
sized rash from eating too
many bad schrooms or whatever
they serve in Minnesota at
Dairy Queen by my house
and around the corner at
"Cheap Smokes and Cheap Beer"
unless you want to drive
WingCharger's peddle car. Downtown Nigeria...
so visit his web site :lol:
There ,You can learn how
to do the hokey pokey
and turn yourself about thats
how you make yourself dizzy . . .
like Tin Lizzy and gettin'
busy, while showin' Izzy, how
to make, slow, gin, fizzy's,..... :drool5:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
or martinis, shaken, not stirred...
with wiskers from Old Moparz, :nana: :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
or a harry legged woman
walking on the beach with....
Jesus, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny...
carrying a cooler & lots
of southern comfort with limes
hand picked in South Florida
by migrant farm workers from
some shithole country that smells
like teen spirt. Just then.....
Immigration showed up and deported
18 drywallers inside Dodge van
called the fox box or
shaggin wagon with shag carpet
like stu has on his
birdibles trunk floor to remind
him of the good old
days when Hee-Haw was on
and a good comedy show
Quote from: WingCharger on October 09, 2008, 03:16:14 PM
even though he has all seasons on tape... :icon_smile_big:
and 8 words in total.
He should be spanked throughly, :nana:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
by Ponch dressed in his
tight little "Chips" uniform, getting
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
the point across that this
thread ain't his. Cubs fans...
can cry them selfs to
the next century, but they'll
wished they'd used drano cause
the furball was larger than
a night of Chewbacca partying.....
or rob schneider as cha-ka
But little did they know.....
Troy has been monitoring all
because Geico wanted him bad
that they let play his
Quote from: moparstuart on October 09, 2008, 08:55:43 PM
or rob schneider as cha-ka
   :smilielol: :smilielol: :smilielol:
. . . 1979 synthesizer demo tapes of . . .
"Whip it, whip it good,"
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
crack that whip! And then
he leaped & danced joyously
dressed in moparz dashiki, while
:nana:
flying through the air singing
"Its raining men" and playing
with his "Clay Aiken" doll, :nana:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
that came with a baby
much like Britney's little brat
dropping F-bombs like a pirate
ship sailing through the Bermuda,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
followed by an angry Barracuda....
running dual carb 426 hemi
munching on wimpy marlin ass....
when suddenly, the engine blew...
in five words this time
:D
"Dam, that's really gonna cost,..."
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
more than my unemployment check
AND THIS WAS MY 1,000 POST!!!!!
....... or Joan Rivers face lifts .........
even though a rod blew
out the side of the
thankfully, it wasn't a seal :icon_smile_big: :icon_smile_big: :icon_smile_big:
song, playing in the background
   that reminded me of the . . .
engine in "Hot Rod Lincoln"
that Jim Varney recorded in
His hot rod Lincoln, With
permission from old Charlie Ryan
but the most recognized version
was "Commander Cody"......dont confuse
this with our beloved Bronzy,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
a former member of Hanson...
(kind of like the 6th man in the Jackson 5)
who left the band because,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
P.S. We love ya Cody so take no offence, take it as flattery! :yesnod: :2thumbs: :coolgleamA:
Michael Jackson offered him a
job feeding giraffes at the
never never land ranch, but...
just then,...F.B.I. agents rode,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
in on the backs of....
to seize the hanson cd's . . .
that the Jonas' brothers stole
for future listening in rehab
even though they suck already...
out of water pipe daily . . .    :eyes:
using their teeth as strainers
to prevent seeds coming through
so a field of dreams
could be built in iowa
So that all the people
will come after its built...
for the first annual DC.Com,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
softball game with a picnic
with burgers, dogs, and beer...
that Jackie will get you
while singing and dancing to
"Thriller" by Michael Jackson, and...
(Wooo...1000th post)
then again "NOT" said EVERYONE
"we want old school rock",
:2thumbs: :coolgleamA:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
like Skynard, Boston, Zepplin, ZZ Top, &
Journey, Van-Halen, Bon-Jovi, Aerosmith, Rollingstones, :coolgleamA:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
said tom cruise in underweari
trying to impress Ms. 71ChallengeHer,    :nana: :rofl: :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
Meanwhile, back at the Batcave.....
robin is changing oil in
the turkey fryer so that
Batman doesn't get the runs
Alfed won't clean his dirty...
bat thong, batotards, or whatever
he'll need lotsa bat wipes
for the gooey substance on
top the bat pole ,because
Robin doesn't have workman's comp
to cover any losses sustained
from cleaning batman's depend's that
were soiled because of what
spilled using the Batbungee. Batinsurance
rates have gone up so
Time to end this thread :nana:
but not before Batman gets...
the joker out of his
casket or Brokeback Mountain image.
now that is really harsh :smilielol:
but he won't complain. Gilligan
had the hots for Ginger
Snap Cookies since the Skipper
really liked his little buddy
to hand feed him while,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
patting his head and rubbing
that gold sequin Ginger dress
on the moooovieee star. With
the Professor and MaryAnn doing
each other off the set, and
Ginger was so damn hot!
got named because a 440......
was confused with a 413
and put into a "Pinto,"
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
P.S. I know this is cheezy, but I want to get a pinto and restore it!!! :shruggy: :yesnod:
so a ford can fly
like a pig in the, :pigsfly:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
middle of a big tornado...
caused by Obama's hot air
balloon was inflated by Palen's, :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
blowing to no where fast
so change the topic or
the lock will be in :dancinglock: :dancinglock:
Because this one time at.......
at band camp she kissed
seals because she's in Alaska
but her braces got stuck
on whiskers. Once in Brazil....
harvesting of the coca leafs
to make sweet taste of
Swiss Miss hot chocolate with
loads and loads of marshmellows
whipping cream and foam also
that comes from cows milk
native to NYC & LA
but what about Wisconsin the
land of cows and rowdy's
who kick and punch their
Favre dolls now that he
acted like a true whussy :baby:
wearing pink panties during games
while crying like a girl
at a Hanson concert with
the Jonas Bros. opening act
featuring a Randy Rhoads cardboard
cutout held up by cody
wishing he was in the....
band ,but had to roadie
and keep the groupies from
climbin all over 'ol Brock :D
because brock really loves hansen
but not more than Cody...
So They all went to.
ride the Van Ness trolly
then they were going to
clean Brock's shag carpet in
the road runner's parcel tray? :shruggy:
which is full of dead
birds. Brock took the feathers
for his Y.M.C.A. Annual party, :nana: :nana: :D :D :rofl: :smilielol: :lol:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
and glued them on his arms
So He could fly like
eagle to the sea, for
sandy beaches and ice cream
brock wanted price is right
$2 for Double D scoops
then he went postal in
a record store because they...
didnt have his ABBA album :smilielol: :smilielol: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REElUors1pQ
Having the time of his
retirement to ponder, he thought
Hey! this ain't about ME! :eek2:
all the time singing fernando :smilielol: :smilielol:
valenzuela's my favorite picher. Watermelons
feel really good on your
feet when you have no...
freaking shoes because you're poor
like a new york banker
but you get 250M for
running a bank into the ground
and playing abba records backwards
and forwards like some cult
They remind Me of the
days i worked in idaho
six pack being a maverick
and loving to hunt moose
which is really code for
through some spandex hot pants
with see through cheeks and
fish net stockings up to
The camel toe that looks
like the camel toe cup
you should wear for sports
is a pair of new
Wrangler's that fit like a
shoe OJ was wearing when
of the bloody glove conditioner
and left. The train arrived...
late but he got away
without buying a ticket and
told Kato "ignore the noise" ....
its just a really large
hunk of crap that needs
to be cleaned up before
you can sleep in your
must sleep all day when....
you come down from partying
The crazy train called, OJ's
white slow moving Ferd Bronco
while being chased by a
convoy of California Highway Patrol
dressed in their best pair
of pink heels and a
fluffy pink boa wrapped around
there necks , blowing in the
blowing in the face of
death while protecting & serving
their coffee and fresh donuts...
driving a 440 with cop
hubcaps with polyglass F-70/15 redlines
it's got cop tire and
since they broke the mold
That They were holding for.
pb&J sandwich for lunch, to
opens up next door in
next to the field of
dreams, that included rabid midgets,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
and gigantic rabbits that were
laying Cadbury eggs filled with...
but the government found out
that THE70RT was the leader, :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
not to be confused with
don't let your Dick Trickle
or docbrown and his flux
Capacitor, That He uses to
pick up hot young babes
instead of using carwash vacs
to clean himself up from
The night before, Because He.
creating life size bobble headsÂ
of Kevin Costner and the
whole cast from the movie
even the camera guy and
porno chicks from the next
set over in studio 54
with the disco ball of
fire coming straight at the
center. The pimple cream commercial...
with jessica simpson was playing
With Tony Romo as the
guy who gets to pop
fly balls for outfield practice
but he can't hit $hit
thats why playing football is
what attracts hot blondes with
no brains and really big
like the girl he is
going to be after getting
his operation in sweden , after
he rides a big plane
because dallas fired him for
telling Jones to stick it
Where the sun don't shine.
doctors tell him the operation
is performed by Mexican landscapers
with little pruning shears , and
weed whackers and leaf blowers
after they get sloppy drunk...
slamming shots of tekillya and
then heading back to the
Home Depot for more supplies...
to caulk the huge crack
the doctor left in his
window sill so the rain
water can produce hydropower for
for his oversized blender to
make margaritas for the ladies
paul said, but really hymns
wine make stuarts replies better
but now with the new car
Quote from: The70RT on October 23, 2008, 06:05:32 PM
but now with the new car
dreams of gathering parts for
Jed Clampett, who's a millionaire....
so move away from there
they loaded that P.O.S truck....
And headed out to the.
beautiful state of mass confusion
with critters and a cement
pond full of good looking
hookers, who love to play...
because bingo hall was shut
Down, Because of the Lady.
in red by Chris Deburgh
song is so unlistenable.... the
song dont pay the fairyman
his pound of flesh due
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
they were selling horses cheap
because of the new invention
that tenderized the meat ,so
so into the grinder they went
so yummy in the tummy
grinning ear to ear , and
he had a bbq party
cause that pill doesn't combat
the side effects of eating
but it really does help,
skid marked and RACING STRIPED.....
on your honeymoon in beautiful...
downtown burbank where you'll see
who expresses necrophilian desires for
long dead off topic threads
where all of us post
except the areo car snobs :icon_smile_wink:
drinking champagne behind velvet ropes....
Quote from: Old Moparz on November 06, 2008, 12:57:00 AM
drinking champagne behind velvet ropes....
we all are not snobs !!!!!
Mabey not, But I hered
their where were too two
in california , because of all
areo cars never get driven :-\
buy the fruits flakes n'nuts... :shruggy:
if mine ran it would :smilielol: :smilielol: :smilielol:
give a bush a hug
glass provided 2.7% drag reduction
but like other areo cars
it smoked that pontiac and . . .
and they all got outlawed
Thats why you never see.
. . . aeros versus pontiacs in movies . . .
or on any nascar tracks
because Pontiac bottom ends are
total pieces of worthless crap
that the chinese can't make
even C500's with a hillside....
hemi will do, unless a
rod blows or a crack
out the side of block
hill billy vacation to branson
that ends with C500 impounded
by the revenuer's for hauling
Moonshine that was found in
underaged Mopar lover's closets. Trouble
soon followed, but Old Moparz...
decided to troll the Chebbie
but the line snapped, sending...
thousands of dollars worth of
good booze to the ground...
but Manfred had a plan
to call in the mighty
Mouse and all his pals...
To drive the Rally Charger...
to Dartmouth, Nova Scotia for
fish and chips cause they
were all out of donairs
bread had gotten really moldy
.....so he drew his gun....
..and shot poor Jim Lahey
ruthlessly and repeatedly, completely shredding . . .
all evidence in how the
Sunnyvale Trailer Park was overtaken
by the zombie horde that...
driving his scary fast Dragula...
buring through the witches and...
and goblins with neck break
Dead I am the pool
(for you, Manfred)
of blood coagulating on the
$12.00 Walmart hubcaps moparstuart bought
that cost an American's job
so Walmart can sell more
quality chinese made goods to
unsuspecting Americans that really need
Quote from: WingCharger on November 15, 2008, 07:38:25 PM
unsuspecting Americans that really need
baby formula that is tainted
not with melamine, but with
peas, carrots, and lead based . . .
octane booster for a hemi
That already needs new heads
pistons, rings, crank and money
but the economy is so bad
that all he could get
was antidepressants and hotrod videos . . .
featuring blown foxbody Ford Mustangs
and how they get crushed
by mopars on pinks, The
baddest muscle cars
always say Dodge or Plymouth
but really plymouth makes it :naughty:
even though Chrysler is there
or at least in spirit
but here today gone tomorrow
Yes, tomorrow the chevy Charger
NO! Bite your f#*king tongue...
Loaded and ready to shoot...
but blanks don't do anything
unless you have a scary,
;)
mother in law who can
posi roastem' through all gears . . .
can't make sense of this
anymore because my brain capacity...
has been cut short because...
smoking to much Maui Wowi :smoke:
and way to much beer
along the canals of Amsterdam
so boat rentals were denied
due to holy boats and
No Life Jacket to float.
paul was rocking the boat
dont rock the boat, baby...
sit down your rocking the
boat that shouldnt be rocked.....
don't tip the boat over...
and the people all said
Give peace a chance, then
that never works so destroy
all the boat oars Now!
And buy a big ship.
and start paddling fast with
without a clue where to
find the missing tanker ship
that the pirates stole for
tipping the boat over again
Causing a big oil spill.
in alaska for whats her
bridge to nowhere is for
even though it wasnt finished
and it caught on fire...
because of the shoddy work
govenor palin hired for construction
because she needs extra money
so she can run for
For the Boarder and hide.
not hide, but shoot Canadians
in thier skimpy barges
and topless dance for them :drool5:
Free of charge of course
since she needs the experience...
like BK & HLPGA restorations
since they "by all accounts"..
dont know anything about restorations
and buy bondo by the..
(Make this a good one boys...)
truck load ......so much ! they mix it with help of a concrate mixer :yesnod:
but tantop lost word count
but thats ok because he...
can't count either (tan top)
Really got me mad tonight.... :RantExplode:
he painted his top green
and the body Corvette orange
And is still not home.... :brickwall:
from the drinking and the
crazy thing is, that it's
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
stuck in a ditch far...
Out of Town, In the
boondocks with the squidbillies who...
watch "Deliverence" reguraly to keep
their Chargers from rusting over
I don't understand this thread? :shruggy:
you can only post five
nothing that this thread represents
but that is no secret
that i cant count to
twenty without my shoes off...
i run on the beach
like wading through cement because . . .
the quick sand pulls you
deep in the seagull poop
that won't wash off, but...
it feels good. Larger nipples
on Zerk fittings lubricate the . . .
Now I get it, dumb.
thing would not fit right
So I beat it in with
a big F&*#in' hammer that...
the head was shaped like
one of my previous boyfriend's,.....
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
in his hairy nether regions
Thank God skip is shaved!
he even waxes for good
measure and a brilliant shine
by using Turtle Wax and...
spit and a loaded diaper
that wreaks in the desert
Sun,When the air is
hot and heavy , just like
the smoke from CB's tires :scratchchin:
Quote from: The70RT on December 03, 2008, 08:50:46 PM
the smoke from CB's tires :scratchchin:
when chuck blew it up
by mouth & passed out.
Then awoke, and floored his . . .
family announcing his sex change
Quote from: Old Moparz on December 04, 2008, 11:24:18 AM
family announcing his sex change
chuck is headed for sweden
with Ponch for group discounts
group buy from dc.com and
The Tits-R-Us store
At the local strip club....
Lexus stole his hemi charger . . .
while he asked for donations
As He shook His bells
Tits are us store? HAAAAA :smilielol:
is the swedish surgical center
that will give you a
new gender , for the price
of some gas, movie, and . . .
a Cheese burger & fries .........
With a side order of
a Boy George CD and
a kd lang poster with
dance lessons with Ru Paul
By the Nuclear Power Plant
that gives chuck that glow
Similar to watching granny porn :eek2:
You know, The granny's with
big knockers are still hot...
flashing their Victoria's Secret Depends
with the faint, yellow stains
please dont make me barf :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :scared:
I cant really promise anything...
Except to save the vinyl...
5 picture disc set worth
More than the Pantera set...
...on Metal Magic Records label...
featuring Pat Boone singing Metallica
while dancing in a green
shamrock outfit, drinking from a
Half empty Keg of warm
milk, with a picture of
Deborah Gibson posing nude in
Playboy magazine and was a
little tipsy when the camras.
Since they can no longer...
keep the "youth" from posting, :nana:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
and wanting wingcars and snow
cones with that special flavor
that tastes shockingly like sublime, :smilielol: :eek2: :smilielol: :eek2:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
but is really more like
Statutory Grape with Top Banana...
Sold it for more money.....
than mrs skip69 spends on
a motorhome 440 for my
Tufcat would hit Debbie Gibson :drool5:
who wouldnt tuf cat hit
Mrs Claus, on a cold
plate full of rotten stinking
.....underwear left by Mr. Claus :smilielol:
after he hit debbie gibson
his girlfriend showed up pissed :lol:
on his head and left
a turd as a tip,
:eek2:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
but the corn and peanuts
Quote from: mikepmcs on December 14, 2008, 06:37:54 AM
but the corn and peanuts
disappeared into Rosie's black hole
Quote from: WingCharger on December 14, 2008, 09:18:20 AM
Quote from: mikepmcs on December 14, 2008, 06:37:54 AM
but the corn and peanuts
disappeared into the Rosie black hole
edit....
disappeared into Rosie's black hole (keeping it to 5 words) :icon_smile_cool:
of calcutta. it looks like
the peanuts will be eaten
by OldMoparz' wild animal avatars, :icon_smile_big:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
with side of free chili :eek2:
Quote from: TUFCAT on December 16, 2008, 11:42:19 AM
with side of free chili :eek2:
cheese fries and nice warm
home made tootsie roll casserole
Isn't enough to satisfy O'Donnell
because she's a fat F*&^*N
lesbian, no talent, man hating......
cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit she is. Hallelujah. Holy sh%$. Where's the Tylenol?
I couldn't resist. :icon_smile_big:
And not only that, She
is too ugly for Tufcat
but he would do her
so Tuffcat stabbed his eyes
and tried to "hit it," :drool5:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
but he missed it and
thought if he only had....
his shots up to date, :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
he could work off the
The extra pounds in the gym...
so he could look like
the quite impressive "Puss-n-Boots",
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
Quote from: skip68 on December 17, 2008, 07:04:50 PM
the quite impressive "Puss-n-Boots",
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
but we know that wouldn't
keep him free of furballs
unless he kept himself shaved :scratchchin:
:D
Which TUFCAT is incapable of
So he jumped in his
coronet and crashed into a
store full of chia pets
No one saw him, So
he sells them on ebay
to fund his catnip habit
he needs a SERIOUS intervention, :yesnod:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
but the catnip attracts, Kitty's
from all over the state
AND HE HITS THEM ALL :drool5: :drool5: :drool5:
so Tufcat is paying kittysupport
Quote from: 71ChallengeHer on December 18, 2008, 11:38:11 PM
so Tufcat is paying kittysupport
because he loves kittys from
the red light kitty district
especially transexual, deep meowing, kittys.
while listening to White Lion...
and the stray cats ,strut
around with the PussyCat dolls, :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
listening to their famous song
that suck like the rest
Of the little Kitty's that.
"need help and a home"
because Tufcat's not paying
for their kitty support and
has become a "dead beat cat" :icon_smile_big:
living off a dead dudes
stolen pension checks he got
from a burnt London Drug
but still no modtop daytona
is in his future, unless...
he sells all his sinsemilla
to the ballerina named Cornelia.
who just got fired from
her dancing job at the
London Drug with photo problems
because she got caught with
Quote from: 71ChallengeHer on December 20, 2008, 10:06:35 PM
because she got caught with
Chargerpunk's Moptop Daytona pictures that
are illegal in Canada because
Bigfoot is wanted for rape
But They lost the evidence.
since the daytona ate it
and bigfoot is free to
rape and pillage another day
in the ratty Trailer Park
with all the hot chicks...
Dressed like Santas little helpers.
which turned on tufcat who
who ran to the alley
said dude I'd hit that
but his hitter was a
quitter and fell into the
hands of a trailer park
cop, who told him to
stop flashing the trailer park
hottie with a tramp stamp
she only has one good
"arm to hold you with,"
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
(P.S. Name the movie and you win a brewski!)
the other one she chewed
(Tombstone) I like budwieser
:cheers: :cheers: :cheers:
Quote from: 68coronetGLwannabe on December 23, 2008, 02:58:38 PM
the other one she chewed
cause her foodstamps never came,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
Now She can't traied them.
I still don't understand this? :eek2:
because of your unknown condition
your head will swell up
and have very painful consequences
Both Eye's will pop out.
dangle like spagehtti and meatballs
and your hair turn green
with envy of such a
nice gift Santa had left
on the front porch, burning..... :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
hoping you would stomp it :nana:
and ruin your new boots,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
but it smelled so funny
you wiped it on the.... :scratchchin:
Very scary looking mean Grinch.....
who got it on cindy
who wiped poo on her
third cousin removed named bubba :slap:
who sells fresh shrimp to
small blue people that eat
those smurf berries till they
complain of bad stomach cramps
and start hallucinating badly because
they all live in mushrooms
That is growing in poop!
Married people go 90 days
without having any kind of
discussion that they should talk
more about Mopars and having
a bigger garage built to
park their Mopars and have
poker games the third Tuesday
of every month and drink
Yegermeister to excess and then
he said "slaap lekker allemaal" :icon_smile_big:
obviously he's not from here
and is not familiar with
the lingo from around theses
areas since we are all
dont understand any Dutch and..
are a bubble off center
because the level is cracked
and the ground is subsiding
and a sinkhole is developing
under a chevrolet dealers lot
and GM is falling into
the third ring of hell
were both my ex wives :lol:
went, but the third ex-wife...
on a side note, wouldn't you learn the first time not to get married again? >> :icon_smile_big:
ended up in Kansas alone
with nothing but a dog
Im a slow learner :'(
and a tub of BONDO
she moved to texas and
poor bitch got no bone
so she got a job
working for HLPAG applying Bondo
to rotted general lee clones
with floppy quarters and fenders
her work was shown all
up and down the rust
So stop her we must
so lets start a thread
before we go to bed...
About fast cars and broads!
which shant be a fraud...
Because big blocks and hemi's......
have horrible gas mileage and
we like it that way....
except for daily driven bigblocks
with headers and big exhaust
our tires are smoking and
so are the babes there
who are out looking for
the cops and there radar
But the radars quit working
and the AAR Cuda got
passed by a 70 charger
that was 318 three-speed equipped
going 130 in first gear
just as he grabbed second
The cops redar started working
and the 318 scattered itself
all over that AAR Cuda
causing the BONDO to work
free, hitting the police cruiser
causing a '73 New Yorker to
go spinning out of control
and rear end a Honda
causing a huge explosion of
plastic and aluminum to fly
through the bedroom window of
broke GM executive living in
a beat up old Camaro
with a for sale sign
saying I need 14 billion please
being towed by a smartcar
driven by a Chrysler executive
who is excited about getting
a color photo of bigfoot
sunbathing on the beach in
a 273 Powered ModTop Daytona
with Wing posting every other
time to increase post count...
even though I don't care
if its the last thing
he does before moving to.....
someplace with more mopar projects
and less girls to distract
from doing his nose hairs
and moparstuart tripping on acid
batteries laying around his shop
dropped 8 bucks to 3
But the piggy bank has
been broken into by PocketThunder...
who left incriminating evidence of....
being under the influence at
Champps tonight! :yesnod: Makers Mark was
his drug of choice but
but a cheap bottle of
Mad Dog 20/20 was his
girl friend for the night
since she was too wasted
but sober this morning baby!
after waking up in the
doghouse, but a hot shower
to rinse off the sludge
and smell of those Ho's
at the Hooters down in
South Texas, Where the Girls
have no teeth, but give, :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
up their number for a
ice cold beer and some
cheap hair spray since they
want to "impress" at Dollar-General,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
in their pj's and slippers
begging for a brand new
12 pack of bud and
11 wrestling tickets since theirs
been eaten by the dog....
who he had not fed
since the last time he
got drunk on Boones Farm
Wine in a box that
makes the prettiest colored snow
when filtered by the human
who had to relieve himself
of a quart of the
Bubbly, On New Years eve
watching the Bob Saget show
who is a complete DORK, :D ..................................... :shruggy:
Mrs.Skip68
and likes to say bad
things about the Olson twins
that Tuffy "Claims" he hit,............... :icon_smile_big:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
over the head with a
big blue ball pien hammer
when he should have used
his other tool for hitting
be still was arrested for
impersonating the pimp Huggy Bear
when he looked more like
a drunk old man from
the Andy Griffith show
which is actually four words
(Hey, I like watching the Andy Griffith show. :icon_smile_big: Funny crap.)
which is actually fifteen words
and b5blue misread something himself
You people need a purpose.
But beyond that I just
dont get you crazy youngsters...
we are not suppost too :brickwall: :smilielol: :smilielol:
pull up our baggy pants
and wear a damn belt... :rant:
I don't want to see
Wings buttcrack or tidy whiteys
with those nice skid marks...
...and your hat on crooked...
because no instructions came with
your pair of tony hawks
and FUBU's you wear ,for
impressing the girlfriend, because she
dumped PocketThunder two nights ago
for a DC.com member named
Skip68. He's really quite the
ladies man with his strange
vegas swinger pad , for wayward
men in rusty Fords that
just can't seem to resist
guys with chargers from foreign
Country's, And their multied colored
hair extentions , that look like
something that you just can't
George Clinton because he's on
damnit, one post too late
lunch all over your charger
right after you buffed out
That scratch, left by the.
400lb stripper from the
big vegas club chuck hangs
Out in, When the Skip's
wife is not around to
make sure he takes his
viagra that he bought off
dodgecharger.com's online swap-meet section, but
the viagra was expired so
he fired up the Charger
and took CB'S car out
to eat some rice tonight
and then go to the
car wash to clean off
the smell of cheap women
and fine whiskey and cigars
but not even the soap
could rid the ricer smell
he got general out instead
and jumped some police Chargers
but when he realized it
was a felony, he ran
back to his garage and
called a wrecker to give
them a piece of his
Dukesfest memorabilia that he lifted
from Cooters garage in 1976
when it was a bar
and before Boss Hogg had
bought out BKAuto and started
building butch-job general lees for
more than the federal reserve
has hidden in Fort Knox
but as the motto goes,
BK Auto loves their Bondo
just like Boss Hogg likes
lulu's underpants riding up the
heavily wooded abyss of her
heavenly aromatic manicured back side
as they go happily motoring
in a bondo covered Cadillac
dripping some kind of gelatinous
creature that will eat you
when the ashtray overflows onto
the chrome skull shifter from
autozone, and bullhorns from a
good old boy's texas pickup
that got rear ended by
a flying delorean going 88
times the speed of light...
thus crossing the time-space continuum
and boldly going where no
chicken has ate corn before
but fear not, we will
make some sense of this
Nay, I say. We shant...
come through this with our
intelligence intact. I'm afraid this
has no intellectual value for
the fact that we are
easily amused by shiny things
that sparkle in the sun
Oooo...shiny things...sorry what?
Sorry, I skipped my meds
so did 500 hp 440
and his 1000 HP rocket
(i been waiting for this)
powered Charger that goes so...
so fast the earth reversed
and Alaska becomes visible from
Putin's plane flying over Palin's
back yard where she is
laying down on the grass
rolling around with her old
memories of what could have
been a profitable lipstick venture
as she cornered the market
But now she thinks about
McCain way too much, it's
Tufcat she really loves, especially
when he purrs in her
ear, causing immediate loss of
her inner pussy cat instinct
and lays trembling on the
hood of Skip68's charger and
MrsSkip wondering which trailer park
this lady came from. It's
certain TUFCAT would hit Palin :drool5:
with a rollling pin while
jacked up on cat nip
and chasing the pit bull
that run away , eating the
entire subframe of the Coronet
but that didn't stop it
from running over a cliff
as it was trying to
use all its 500 horsepower
I must check "500hp_440"'s thread..... :icon_smile_big:
to jump the Adriatic Sea
and end up in Bolivia
hot on the trail of
a 440 Hemi equipped ricer
with one sweet turbo wing
And curb feelers on all
four rusted out frame rails
repaired with fiberglass by BK
who didnt tell the owner
they used cheese to fill
the trunk so traction was
going to shake the Bondo
loose from the quarter panels
causing the car to implode....
into a big pile of
overcooked quater-pounders with rusty fries
with cheese that once filled
my four rotted frame rails.....
for hockey moms and pit bulls
and lipstick on a pig
in a blanket with a
side of spicy barbecue sauce,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
because Tufcat likes it spicy
but the catbox is nasty
Because no one wants to
clean out the furballs or
scoope out tufcats last dinner
of rust flakes and mice
that gave him catscratch fever
causing ted nugent to sue
and get half of his
rusty pinto, and his catbox
Back from his ex wife
and her cuban lover, now.....
appearing in Las Vegas with
27 Elvis impersonators, all wearing
sparkly tight leather cat suits
Quote from: 500hp_440 on January 05, 2009, 07:44:28 PM
sparkly tight leather cat suits
I LOVE them on ladies!! :drool5: :drool5: :drool5:
I LOVE them on ladies!! :drool5: :drool5: :drool5:
[/quote]
said tufcat as he watched....
One of the Elvie leave
his shirt as he continues
Undressing in front of him
as he puts twenties in
The little black box on
the cubans backwards fanny pack
And then slaps him on
before taking him up to
the desert, for an "experience", :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
he made him a man..... :eek2::smilielol:
when he could have been
a woMAN all this time
starring in a Las Vegas, :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
show girl show thats called
"Clay Aiken's Playground for Pussycat's", :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
acting as clay aikens boyfriend
but really nailing his wife
:leaving:
she was really a heshe.... :eek2:
that looked like Saline Dion :eek2:
with long whiskers, and fur,......
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
and smelled like an old
bottle of wine that was
left on the side of
my counter from the 70RT's :lol:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
personal stash that came from
Quote from: The70RT on January 06, 2009, 06:35:55 AM
personal stash that came from
kansas , home of the mafia
boss who was looking for
a cup of expresso, then
decided to go on a
rampage running over muscle cars...
realizing monster trucks are for
real men that don't want
to have there manhood questioned
(hey same with muscle cars!)
causing most of the male
population to go buy a
case load of Viagra pills,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
and a General Lee clone
built by BK Auto for
a monster truck show in
the Netherlands, but the bondo
fell off in the humidity
and the gas tank fell
off at baggage clame, causing
a backup of imported bondo
headed to Texas for the
international convention of hack shops
where HLPAG and BK Auto
will proudly display their latest
technological designs in hiding rot
on clone general lees, and
taking people's money for these
jars of mayo called bondo
is prime color for jerkoffs
Ok.. I'm stumped... :popcrn: :shruggy:
Quote from: The70RT on January 06, 2009, 07:54:37 PM
is prime color for jerkoffs
hillbillies and Bondo go together
like chargers and grease monkeys
flying out of your "ass" , :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
while racing the 89 Mustang . . .
with a four foot wing,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
with a fart pipe and
big ass spinners, fuzzy dice,.....
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
And a blue light under
the piece of crap Ford :D
Quote from: 71ChallengeHer on January 06, 2009, 09:22:33 PM
the piece of crap Ford :D
Least she didn't say "Camaro," :slap: :D :nana:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
she should have said pinto
or more like a Gremlin,...
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
or my favorite the Pacer
because the camro doesnt run...
Quote from: 500hp_440 on January 06, 2009, 10:36:48 PM
because the camro doesnt run...
out of gas as fast, :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
P.S. Remember the spell check button kid! :brickwall:
as it caught fire and
burned to the ground leaving
the mold for a Vega
which shouldnt have been used
since it had a V8
I stole the hatch for
my Daytona clone with posi
oops I mean Sure Grip :slap:
locking and non-locker works also
, unless you decide to go
full on four wheel drive
climbing the rough terrain looking
everywhere a place where you
can find the legendary bigfoot
appearing on the Howard Stern
for one final episode about
buying and selling foreclosed realestate
in Iraq to China for
science experiments on extreme terrorists,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
using hamsters and spider monkeys
jacked up on Mtn Dew
at 30,000 feet with some
carrying a brand new set
back where it came from
Quote from: 400/6/PAC on January 07, 2009, 07:25:22 PM
Quote from: quapman on January 07, 2009, 06:53:41 PM
at 30,000 feet with some
Jack Black to chase it
thats not the way the thread works man...whatever...its all good :2thumbs:
Jed's a millionaire. Kinfolk said......
they say he's very lame...
almost as lame as FDR
You guys still doing this?
Moochie gets runover by Christine.....
and Christine's engine seized because
someone put sugar in the,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
engine oil because their sweet,
tooth got them hopped up
on what tasted like cocaine
but it was actually acid...
reflux, so see a Dr.
to get some Prilosec and...
I finally fiqured this out.
This builds your post count.
but your sperm count stays :lol:
all high and mighty and
you say "I'd hit that" :smilielol:
but tufcat hits them all
cause he's one horny little, :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
cuddly, cute, kissable, purr machine..... :icon_smile_big: :icon_smile_big: :icon_smile_big:
" I think Im gonna hurl," :eek2: :eek2: :smilielol: :smilielol: :rofl: :rofl: :nana: :nana:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
please......not on my pillow :icon_smile_big: :icon_smile_big: :icon_smile_big:
do it on the seat
or in the big litterbox,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
which has a big hole
in the side for tufcat
to make his hourly "deposits," :D :eek2: :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
no wonder he has low
blood sugar despite his enormous
appetite for illegal, expensive, and
potent catnip grown in thailand
where it is actually legal
To eat cats and dogs
as long as you have
a permit and a 3
legged dog named biff, but
you still need a grill...
burning a green fuel called
wasabi which burn all the
nose hairs if not careful
and dont forget to plug
in that fancy rotisserie attachment,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
that's rarer than Hemi, sunroof,
that is pink and green
with a factory Trailer hitch
with blue leather bucket seats...
A/C and a four speed
not to mention stock slicks...
that are flat on the
left side of the right
-handed lug nuts, cross-threaded
when HLPAG tried to mount
the chicken wire rear quarter
with bondo and duck tape
BK Auto advised them to...............
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
make ten gallon bondo containers
but it needed a barrel
of bondo to cover up .....
Quote from: tan top on January 09, 2009, 08:18:00 PM
of bondo to cover up .....
the sweet custom rear window
full of cheesy quarter pounders
Quote from: 500hp_440 on January 09, 2009, 09:20:25 PM
full of cheesy quarter pounders
"Dam, that sounds so good,".................... :drool5:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
said the owner as he
was selling it on eBay
for 42X what it was
worth, seller fees are high
and motor oil is cheap
considering the ridiculous expense of
new bondo, used will have
caused me to drink too
many Mezcal shots, with worm
chasers but he still couldn't
cure his bad breath, he
had to drink his tank
which was filled with ethanol
and reacted with the expanding-foam
he had snorted that morning
had no bondo dust left
so the dogs started to
run around inside the Charger
tearing up the new seats,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
and chewing the steering wheel
Quote from: CB on January 10, 2009, 01:37:13 PM
and chewing the steering wheel
chuck had sold on ebay
to Mang-Chung in Japan for
so one dude became furious
so jacky chan threw nukes
at bk auto but he
forgot about hlpag because of
the guy showing his thong
Quote from: CB on January 10, 2009, 06:51:55 PM
the guy showing his thong
:eek2:
"Screaming, get that Belgium outta-here!", :nana:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
while burning general lee clones
and lynching General Lee Clowns
that unfortunately were not informed
that tufcat's litter needed cleaning
and it gassed them outta
new charger, which was wrecked
On the main strip of
Detroit, with GM executives living
off of wellfare checks and
inside rusting ugly Cadillac Cimmarons
because congress thought it knew
Quote from: oldgold69 on January 10, 2009, 10:37:08 PM
because congress "thought it knew"
[/size]
More than the American People, :yesnod: :yesnod: :yesnod:
Mrs.Skip68
and how to stimulate economys
by having lear jets, and,..........
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
General Lee's crushed to save
Quote from: WingCharger on January 10, 2009, 10:51:10 PM
General Lee's crushed to save
EDUCATION for little morons, EVERYWHERE!!!!,..... ::)
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
that are not named WingCharger
:icon_smile_big: :icon_smile_big:
or Ryan 500hp_440, they messed
up in the planning, so
I have to pay for
an edamacation all by myself
but spelling can be difficult
bcouse me no learned schooling
Quote from: 500hp_440 on January 10, 2009, 11:53:22 PM
bcouse me no learned schooling
because 500hp_440's always posting on
on randome threads 69bronzet5 likes
Quote from: 500hp_440 on January 11, 2009, 12:08:35 AM
on randome threads 69bronzet5 likes
to have the "T" capitalized, :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
but noone cares because lola....
(no jk we care T there you go bud :2thumbs:)
Quote from: 500hp_440 on January 11, 2009, 01:04:36 AM
but noone cares because lola....
(no jk we care T there you go bud :2thumbs:)
is sitting in my garage,..... :drool5:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
with her ladylike man parts
that you could never afford,............... :nana: :nana: :nana: :hah: :hah: :smilielol:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
And Lola being abused by
chuck like CB was , but
I'm not in this loop
and just moved from Mexico
because mom threw me out
the living room window into
her garden full of crap
Quote from: CB on January 11, 2009, 01:08:19 PM
her garden full of crap
dragons, and her pot plants,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
spread all over the garden
and this thread has reached
far beyond the climax so
lets just keep posting until
my 1971 Barracuda sells or
the Bengals win the SuperBowl
Lets hope that is next year. :yesnod: :yesnod: :yesnod:
so they say Lola is
not really anything but painted
rusted frame rails off a
1972 mustang found in Vermont
full of bk cheese burgers
and economy quality Bondo ordered
in 55 gallon drums for
BK Auto so they can
mold bondo into bodies for
Knight Rider and GL clones
with david Hasselhoff behind the
whole plan. He is trying
to get sober when hearing
he didnt make the cut
for the next American Idol
so he threw a chair
and it hit a GL
and one one cared because
it bounced off all the
bondo that the owner bought
to fill 102 pages of
rusty pointless posts made by
buddies like 69bronzeT5 and others
wishing they had something better
with their lives instead of
picking on GL clone owners
and becoming DC.com post whores :poke:
who should be wrenching on
a 1980 Chrysler K car
and drinking kool aid instead
of gassing up on Vancamp
but hey, whos complaining, noone
thats for sure, but why...
would they this is funny
Quote from: 500hp_440 on January 12, 2009, 10:06:15 PM
would they this is funny
to you. This weekend i'm,.......
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
getting lola and skip to....
lay some serious rubber down
down on the strip in
cold and windy Vegas because
she NEEDS to be driven,........ :D :drive:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
was hard with no steering
wheel, but that's been resolved, :icon_smile_big:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
with a pair of vice grips :yesnod:
and a quick wrist action
sling shot just like the
one the comic book cover
of the first issue of
the national inquirer and they
found aliens in the trunk
of Ryan's Charger project car
but realized it's distant relatives,.....
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
of a mutant tad pole
that 69bronzeT5 had eaten and
spat out and thrown at
a see thru Duster trunk
with a rusted out floor,
a set of 24" donks
and the loudest open exhaust
that a Cali will allow
is none, so stock will
not even smoke the tires
but smoke came out of
both tail pipes as the .............
cops threw up a barricade
and arrested 500 hp 440
for driving while blind , and
being covered in bondo dust :yesnod:
while doing stoppies and wheelies
on his shiny bmx bike
with a retarded hockey helmet
that has a big crack
Down the middle, From being
thrown over the handlebars one
too many times, with a
nasty bruise right on the
Post Whore's Retarded Helmeted Head.....
because his friends dared him
to jump his car but
It won't run yet so
they started pushing down a
Romano's Macaroni Grill Dessert Ravioli
because it gave him gas
not that kind of gas
the natural kind. Ricardo's Cordoba
smelled like Coppertone suntan oil,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
but now smells like death...
and coconut to cover up
because he loves pimp oil
to show off his stiff
arm from 500hp-440 sandblasting his......
undercarriage, which might have some
rich, Corinthian leather, due to
being rode hard and put
Using leather for sandpaper
To sand his hard wood
to the best possible finish
lola used both hands and
Lola was a he, so...
at the copa, copacabana, music
of Barry Manilow is not
allowed :D, so "LoLa" the Car!!!!!,
Mrs.Skip68
Quote from: skip68 on January 15, 2009, 09:53:59 PM
allowed :D, so "LoLa" the Car!!!!!,
Mrs.Skip68
a stick and balls hanging
decided it needed serious therapy,....
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
Or maybe some serious Surgery
to fix his shrinking manhood
Then we'll call him LOLA :rofl:
or Michael Jackson, but maybe
a Queen for a day
Tony sailed across the bar
and then the punches flew
chairs were smashed in two
blood and a single gunshot
Was heard from all around
the mulbery bush, the mulberry
bush, Ring Around the Rosie
o'donnell that fat hairy pig
Quote from: mikepmcs on January 15, 2009, 11:11:23 PM
o'donnell that fat hairy pig
man hating, beligerant, ignorant, opinionated......
Rosie and her five sisters
were rough on Donald Trump
hoped to get hired for
the rocky 12 movie as
as lola the ring girl
with 12 rings in her
back that will string her
across a tight rope if
the rope holds her fat
Friends, that are there to
Spray on the Donald's hair
with can of spray paint
by numbers is not very
likely to have the desired
effect to make him pretty
who needs pretty when you
have your hands greased with, :rotz:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
with 90 weight gear lube
and synthetic doesn't smell as
bad as animal fat based
rosie o bigmouth can when
She is blowing Hot Air
Balloon Pilots are some crazy
people, but not as crazy...
as our one and only
Ponch or was it Bronze :D :nana:
baby shoes weigh a ton
but not as much as
bronze elephant shoes or crankshafts
from the engines that powered
the blimp that is heading
your way like speeding bullet
boys was a hair band
but not as hairy as
the guy in this picture
who resembles our darling lola
Folona but that was many
strawberry daquiris ago which left
bad taste in your mouth
rinse claims to kill bacteria
that has been known to
take the paint off of
of new cars causing the
people to wonder why the
engine has so many wires
used to bear mechanical loads
and unneeded heated Windshield Fluid
That wont melt the ice
off a frozen piece of
work of Art Mopar Masterpiece
that was hidden in the
archives of classic works from
the legendary 500hp_440 and his
Strange looking girlfriend named LOLA
L-O-L-A Lola
is a racing car engineering
student who works nights at
local Burger King flipping Burgers
and wearing the king costume
which is very creepy and
should run for Illinois governor
:smilielol:
cuz the other options might
make him buy a ford
or even a toyota prius :eek2:
but he allready owns a
METRO because he's a metro
driver. The Useless Information Thread
never seems to be enough
and it needs revival immediately
http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,4251.0.html
and who better than chuck
woolery, the game show host
who has a secret life
As Transexual known as Lola
who is apparently 500hp_440's girlfriend
(see previous page :smilielol:, idk if that was intentional or not haha :lol:)
who lurks in the trunk
of a small elephant named
silver. This elephant is famous
amos real name is wally
the wild walrus because he
was found on the beaches
of Arizona trying to fly
his yellow submarine across the
cosmetics counter at Rite Aid
while singing hey jude like
Raving Lunatic at Wally World
looking everywhere for marty the
the gooze who flew into
Dr. Evil's secret underground lair
looking for the Bondo stash
but instead, finding large flapping
ears like Will Smith, but
I think you are Hallucinating
because those are quarter panels
are from a Pacer and
I prefer Gremlin quarter panels
put on a mustang fastback
1969 with 429 boss Hemi
with MORE than 500 HP
with three on the tree
and DVD player mounted in
the birdible under the dash
where no man has gone
before, and no one want's....
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
to stick his tongue into
like that big old stinky
(what is a birdible???)
thread that will explain that
http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,32617.0.html
or just look at this
kick a$$ wicked nice car
And then what happens now
we put the top down
and pray it doesn't snow
and hit the highway looking ..........
for Fords and Chevy's to
blow the doors off of
(thanks for birdible pics)
but the infamous explosion happend :'(
causeing a Pinto to win
the indy 500 for the
danica all girl race team
after oil spilled all over
There Beautiful nude body's, and
I had all the towels :icon_smile_big:
they had holes in them,............................... :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
in all the right spots :drool5:
but the Krispy Kreme girls
are very addictive, one isnt
enought , you must have many
except they weigh three hundred
pounds a piece, waxing off
unwanted backhair, and spraying disinfectant
they blew the tires out
of that Pinto, Then had
to start stripping for money
to pay for tow and
were begged to put clothes
on to hide that 300
pound hairy flabby cottage cheese
for yummy cream donut filling
high on calories but who
cares when it tastes so
flabulous, my arteries are clogging
and my bloodsugar meter is
actually a tic toch tach
and worth over $400.00 in
.10 cent returnable beer cans
That are still half full
of cigarette butts, from partying,....
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
all night with The Skips! :ricky: :ricky: :ricky:
But morning came too soon
" we're still Partying in Vegas :yesnod:,. :METAL: :METAL: :METAL: :METAL:........".....................
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
echoed through the jail cell :icon_smile_blackeye:
next to the shmuk who
just left that huge turd
on the hood of the
Pinto driven by transexual Lola
who is bigger than most
crispy creme calendar girls who
smoke Winstons in Old Salem
while driving a Chevy LUV
(Those diesel LUVs are amazingly reliable.)
which has been repainted by
a guy behind Home Depot
Using a Brush and Roller
because he forgot his mop
and his Swiffer batteries died
causing lola to find a
new game to play ..... and
Doc Brown flew the Delorean
Joey Rowdy Gowdy is building
but the car's flux capaciitor
had acid reflux and melted
and Mcfly comes to Rescue
by driving a crappy useless
Prius, which runs on AAA
batteries filled with jello and
horse manure from Biff, who....
didn't even own a Horse
his 1946 Ford was full
of rotting leaves by sitting
under the shade of the
biggest oak tree in all
of Central Park, filled with
Quote from: WingCharger on January 24, 2009, 06:32:14 PM
of Central Park, filled with
tree huggers protecting spotted sparrows
from all the crazy pigeons
and crazy clay pigeon shooters
who reloaded their shotguns with
"GET OFF MY PORCH" load
of crap I've heard before
and it sure did work
because I ran as fast
as they did, and thus
I must cry in shame
because you shot your Grille
and now the hide-away headlights
have one eye open and
the other one completely missing
So don't drive at night
unless you run out of
Daylight and need some more.
Quote from: 400/6/PAC on January 25, 2009, 08:07:12 AM
Daylight and need some more.
adult depends for your problem
clocktower of the courthouse that
has a big timex instead
instead of the old Seiko version
I'd prefer a Rolex myself
in the 24 hour, Montoya
where jaun problem crashed into
everything but the pace car
because thats what he does
when he thinks no one
is watching him get drunk...
on cheap magaritas and worms
With a beer chaser and
twelve peanut butter cookies that
were pulled due to salmonella
and causing explosive flatulence that
Was extremely flamable and caught.
fire like a 73 pinto
driven by transexual named Lola
who has the driving abilities
(darn this Lola is everywhere :lol:)
Of Juan Pablo, in a
Wal Mart shopping cart that...
had square bearingless wheels and
hit a pothole in the parking
that bent the rim and
sprayed chocolate milk and beer,.....
the lot cop in his shiny
mr skip 68 won't share?
motor scooter with flashing lights
mounted on the challengers roof
:popcrn:
dropped his donut when he
saw her half chocolate covered,
bag full of expired meat
hanging from her half open
car trunk , for the world
to see Lola's roast beef
shining in the warm sunshine
come on back another day :whistling: :whistling:
Said Lola and Her Sisters
as she lifted her skirt.....
:D where will this go?
steak, is a beef steak
Said Lola, But the sisters.
of the traveling pants movie
all ended up in jail
And the jailer's wife was
not a fan of pants
so she just rants about
Pants and likes to Dance
with ants in her pants
sucking up the government grants
making prisoners wear pink underpants
as they do the can-can
while sitting on the can
drinking out of a can
man, what a big can...
of worms this has opened
and Chuck Norris jumped out
causing instant death to everyone...
who were wearing see-thru pants
inside out because everyone knows
it's better for your hose
Like Chuck Norris, it's uncanny
whoaaaaahhhhh, hold up time out. Quapman, did you just disrespect the almighty Chuck Norris. How about a nice roundhouse to the face nutkick. :nutkick:
Time in.....
Chuck be kickin your fanny
right around his BA Dodge
Parked out at the lodge
with the guys catfish fishing
when a huge catfish swallowed
Chuck Norris head first but
The fish spit him out
and he had two handfulls
of fresh catfish guts while
Kicking that fish in head
singing take me to the
river, drop me in the :whistling: :whistling:
water bed so i can
bite chuck norris in the
backside of his torn camouflaged
parachute pants which he purchased
on amazon.com along with his
ten cd set of walker
Texas Ranger, Then take A
-team, you know Hannibal and
murdock, and BA are in
that crappy black van with
BK bondo all over it
and dripping oil everywhere it
left a really big, nasty
stain on the new cement by
The paint and body shop
next to Hooters, forcing everyone
in the van to find
a way to explain the
stain that was just ozzing
out of ever crack and
orifice of our favorite hero
duck dodger and 21st century.... :icon_smile_big:
you have to be a kid in the pre-90's to continue with this one......
Also Known As BK Auto
who's side kicks name is
Guido the killer Pimp, And
(name the movie thats from)
and his famous wonder dog
Bob, who just ate a big
Mac, asked the lady at
McDonalds for Fries and Coke
but it was spilled on
his fancy new pokadot dress
which he purchased for the
super bowl with his date
Brett Favre, who really likes
throw interceptions and you crazy
if you think he's playing
Football Today or any day
that the sun shines on
forget it, he's watching from
the sky box , because he
can't find his rubber lined
Gloves, But He does have
his cup, and helmet, and
garden tractor that he rides
Quote from: oldgold69 on February 01, 2009, 11:03:02 PM
garden tractor that he rides
John Deere has same colors
as jet favre and the
poor greenbay cheese eaters from
the land of beer and porn
I hope its KITTY porn
since my cat's giant, furry
tail has been up since.....
He ate all the Viagra
laced catnip he got from
The Neighbor Lola next door
who gave a lap dance
to a mopar loving boy
named Bart, who has three
children who also slept with
their mouths open, attracting flies
and had monsters sleeping under
Their Bed, Then one Day
A good gun show deal.... :icon_smile_big:
ak57uziheatseekingarmorpiercingshotgun misfired when the kids
were dropped off at pool
using a Toro turd cutter
to block the bullet and
preceeded to pee in the
bucket of the piss boy
who dumped it on the...
mad kitty looking at kitty-porn :lol:
But the Dog's came in.
Who let the Dog's out
was the sudden cry of
catnip induced porn fed kittys
dog on cat hardcore porn :coolgleamA:
that never ends very good :D
so they yelled for count
chocula and frakenberry to give
Capt. Crunch an ass kickin'...
while john lafeet looked on
dude where is my car :coolgleamA:
at the bottom of the
lake filled with unfiltered sewage
and garbage that came from
the toilet under GM's financial
im not drunk your drunk :2thumbs: :coolgleamA:
division, in charge of developing
grab life by the horns :lol: :coolgleamA:
and... "honk if your horny"
beep beep beep beep beep :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :coolgleamA:
car horn. It was quite
Hey, 69 Charger 500, they need to make sense with each other!
sorry that is my fault :coolgleamA:
disturbing to parking lot milfs
that answer to the name
LOLA!!! who owes me money
of the one who did :coolgleamA:
front wheel opening molding for
seven pounds of wet fluffy
snow from my driveway and
a shovel to push it
In the Neighbors yard, where
it melted, rusting the pinto
into big pile of POS
When someone offered to trade
a hemi daytona and was
beat to a pulp for
bringin a old chevy chevelle :coolgleamA:
which looked like it had
been an old cop car
(I had a 70 Chevelle SS that was used as an undercover cop car at one time, I sold it for 1200 :brickwall: Weird color combo - grey / silver exterior and dark green interior :eek2: )
that Barney Fife lost his
Rusty knife in, But He
lost his Virginity in backseat
to his bestest friend gomer
"WELL GOLLYYYY" Pile, That was
gay as the day is
long this made lola mad
as Hell, She wanted Gomer
but queers and steers are
from texas and it is
best to stay in the north
where you are sure to
avoid pantsless cowboys with snow
bunny's hanging out of their
chaps instead of their pickups
they drove their new Yugo...
roof of a body shop
that was full of Yugo's
as material for fender patches
for pintos and rustangs that
are Found On Road Dead
F O R D
could be gay mans chevy
g m c
probably just a dump site
for old delapitated rundown Yugo's
sitting there since the day
they came off the line
made from recycled Pontiacs and
the leftover cardboard from the
coffee cups, recycled beer cans
and parts that fell off
old maytag washers and dryers
that get turned into chinese
made repop quarter panels and
toasters and weapons of mass
Destruction, And then more Yugo's
were found in an old
disused body shop in Texas ............ :yesnod:
making total garbage General Lee's
from the greatest body shop
on their block, so they
decided to call themselves BK
and sold Whoppers, fries, and
happy meals filled with bondo
toys. The woman behind me
asked me if i could
Dip Her Fries in Bondo
and then hardener was discovered
under the king's rusty crown
Along with a few Munchkins
we followed the orange bondo
trail to the salad bar
where the creepy King drooled
on the kids happy meal
So the Kids decided to.
kick the King in the
crown jewels that had been
Long over due, after that
bondoed up charger incident , that
has pi§§ed off people like
Rush Limbaugh and Brett Favre
who play with each other
telling everybody that two guys
sharing banana bread, aint wrong...... :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
in the privacy of the....
the back seat of a
sweaty, smelly locker room in
The back of Tufcats house
that looks like a pinto
but should it be wrong
it is actually a Vega
That's roomy with all that
trunk space without the hatch
that was used on Daytona
and the Vega got V8'ed
but tomato juice rusted the
Aluminum Buick V8's oil pan
fried chicken is the best
when eatin with your best
enemy so you can see
Under his hood, No Hemi
just a greasy qaud 4
that no longer goes roar
for its missing a few
head bolts but still runs
Like a Snapper Lawn Mower
and does the usual smoking
meat takes a long time
to cool down when heated
so its the best for
Lola to smoke the meat
:scratchchin:
t
i
l
l
i
t
s
c
r
u
n
c
h
y
a
n
d
s
w
e
e
t
LEON clear out your mailbox
That is What She Said
while sitting on the head
trying to squeeze it out
You dirty mexican rat thing
talking me into a fling
Take a ride on a swing
(mike, mailbox is cleared out)
ring the bell for him
so he can play his
freaky one man show so
he can afford to go
to his home on the
Range, said ZZTOP as they Rocked
the kasbah though they should
cut holes in the wall
in the woman's shower at
the end of the day
when the party gets started
and the booze gets carted
(or the underage get carded)
and the girls get freaky
and can't get enough of
Bobbi Billard is extremely hot
food burns your mouth fool
so go lick an ice cream
You guys are both tools :icon_smile_big:
that girls think are cool
EPIC FAIL EPIC FAIL FAIL
by bird67 was the funniest
Ha Ha Very Funny Captnsim
so glad you think so
You are a smartass giggity :icon_smile_big:
Somebody fell off the train
, the midnight train to Georgia
peach if I may say
I HATE TROJANS WITH EVERYTHING
:brickwall: :brickwall: :brickwall: :brickwall:
getting all caught and snarled
In my Under Wear, Then
no fun with my girlfriend
which is a good thing
if avoiding the kid scene
you wouldn't be here now
What you Talkin 'Bout Willis?
not working before claiming unemployment
What Choo Talkin about Willis
Archie Bunkers that lives next
door to the jefferson's who
are moving on up to
the east side to that....
subprime mortgaged to the hilt
cause where to dumb to
have a down payment. instead
we give to Jerry's kids
which are really our own
because Jerry spends the money
so. what happens in vegas
stays in vegas ! just ask .....
skip68 and vegasMike because they
are the way for the
chuck has warped them , so
space is really the final
home for Dick Cheney and
trouble with tribbles are all
over the place in space
where the fumes from the
farts are no match for
My flying hemi powered moped
which has a force field
that repels Ford's and Chevy's
and attracts furys and satelites
to wage war on heathen
body shops like the famous
but soon to be disbanded
kings of bondo dust who
screwed Brian and Jeff too
within an inch of their
Uranus has 27 known moons
but dodgecharger.com has 6,130 members
who have seen 6130 moons
praying to Artemis not Helios
not to hunt us down
all 6130 to the last
screaming i want my charger
but now we have 6131
and still growing like a
Hemirhoid on Uranus, That is
just like a body shop ..............
that enjoys buying paper mache
And pasting it on Your
Avatar, as Cody changed his
must be a bored kid
just needs a new hobby
that is not too costly
and is totally legal now
it is time to go
and say goodbye before he
buys another gallon of bondo
to nicely 'restore' or better
yet, make a GL replica
thinking to become rich but
nobody wants another GL Replica
what where we talking about
turning all chargers into gl's
Why would we do that
because its the wrong thing
because everyone wants a gl
but more want a GF
that doesnt charge by the
minute at a fleabag motel
but by how much she .....
can bring a smile to
TUFFCATS fuzzy, wuzzy, kitty, face,............ :D
Meow!
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
what if you have both
the pickle jar and the
ice cream with hot fudge...
and sprinkles , nuts ,and whipped
cream rubbed over my fur...
rays clams are the best
way to change the subject :icon_smile_big:
about licking off whipped cream
, cream spilled all over Lola's
port and polished smooth intake
how much for lola please :cheers:
Lola's not for sale kid
everyone has their price so :drool5:
don't turn down the dough
the government will soon hand
all of the FAT CATS,......................... :brickwall:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
except Tuffcat a new proposal
has been made with Foreign,.....
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
countries to help free Lola
from the oppressive GL owners
but our grasp is strong,.....
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
can it last that long
if your singing the song
dont get the words wrong
or Chuck Norris will find
hunt you down like a
duck on a june bug
round house kicking you from
here into next week then
you can forget about Lola
as Norris just stole her
and is driving a General
military AM General that is
powered by CLASSIC AMC I4's :METAL:
which make great boat anchors
and so do Chevy 350s...
when used as alfa one
but who cares when you
blow one up. Their expendable
a dime a dozen they
make half the 273's horsepower
and worth 1/16th the value
of a Lincoln copper penny
found heads up on the
ass of a fat chic
where it left a stain
but their is no shame
playing that stomage turning game...
of rolling in the hay
and playing a Poker game
Texas hold-em style that is
but pennies are now zinc
cause the government are finks
copper was worth more than pennies
Quote from: The70RT on February 28, 2009, 07:59:39 PM
copper was worth more than pennies
which is actually six words ::)
six in a five thread
is like a HEMI Valiant
ya just can't have it
up your sleeve and in
your hand at the same
time, but in the end
It's all about God's whim
so don't piss him off
or he'll ship you off
to the gates of Hell...
in a Fury with Satan
not a Fury a Pinto
while it's burning. Nothing says
hell like a burning Pinto
you could spend eternity driving
in the middle of nothing
because nothing from nothing leaves
something from somewhere thats why
your in the middle of
Iraq in a burning Pinto
wondering why those long bearded
crazy jibberish talking "sheet" heads
are coming at you in
droves, trying to put out
as many post counts as
you can in one day
with the bunny jumping penuts
anybody know what penuts are
sure, nuts made of pe...
anybody know what pe is
yellow liquid that taste horrible :sick: :coolgleamA:
how do you know it ....................... :scared:
alternate 5
on second thoughts i don't :leaving:
:2thumbs: :icon_smile_wink:
he proably ate yellow snow
or maybe brownies for breakfast
is that what you had
No he ate a cricket
t'was recommended by Davy Crocket
the king of the wild
Willie Borsch in his Bantam
and bondo, lots of bondo...
brand filler. Nobody wanted the
and the bondo king BK
hand formed and applied with
a piece of the hood
from a air grabber charger
which is definatly a crime
that will get you lots
of middle :fu: from several
of us here at Dodgecharger.com
and a 12 gauge wound
That will leave You feeling.
like you shouldn't rip people
like bubba did to you
in state prision while you
bend over to pick up
the thong someone left in
your boxers last night while
you was passed out drunk
on commode brewed white lightning
while you dreamt of lola
folona but that was many
Hangovers ago, So now you
think about your coca-cola supply
that is really somthing illegal
Cause its just a supply
Bubba forced you to buy
so that he would not
do things better left unsaid
thank god I would have
If I wasn't a agnostic
of the things to come
like the "Vengeance Lee" is
going to change the world
of how bondo buggy pushers
get found in a crusher
style grip of cellmate Bubba
while he helps you pickup
the pieces from the shattered
model charger made out of ........
swiss cheese and a little,......
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
toothpicks from when you got
out of jail when Lola
was Polishing the Helmet, And
...and dreaming of Jenna Jameson...
wearing a smile and a
and drinking a cold one
"sounds really good right now",....... :cheers: :yesnod:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
.....half and half with Tracy
You mean Donna don't you
because if you don't the
Donna will spank your butt.......
while tracy watches from behind
the shed she is hiding
her shiny red superstock dodge
but is blonde and can't
join me to Vegas tomorrow
but can ride that pole
like the pro she is
and she charges so much
for a dance on a ....
table top in the corner
so if you want a
Lap Dance from Lola, You
you have to pay guido
Or else there will be
severe consequences for anyone who
cantalope donkey kicks zebra toes :shruggy: ;D
even though that made no
sense unless you're a chick
what are we talking about
is a very common question
Cody is coming after you
Do not drop the soap
:rotz: no two in a row :slap:
Yeah, A big NO NO :nono:
no,......... OUR Cody is straight,......
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
With his long beautiful locks
-Frank (FLG)
that he washes with Pantene,..... :icon_smile_big:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
THOUGH MY HAIR IS BETTER :nana: :D :coolgleamA:
he gets more young chicks :icon_smile_big:
than a toilet seat gets
crabs at a fleabag motel
In downtown Hollywood on Saturday
or any other day there
as Tracy strips the gears
in his shiny red yugo
and wonders why he is..
not getting a peice of
pie from the bakers daughter
her custard pie is so
delicious as it melts in :smilielol:
Where is the nearest bathroom?
Quote from: BIRD67 on March 16, 2009, 02:57:03 PM
Where is the nearest bathroom?
third door on the left...
but ignore the large sleeping
women lying in the corner
stall wearing mens underwear and
with beer spilled all over
My Buddy Ray and his
hot girfriend that is looking
more like bigfoot in drag
figured they'd check out the
fridge to see if there
is any Pabst Blue Ribbon
from your old man's stash
or maybe some Pabst Bock
"THAT WILL GET YA DRUNK"
or smell like a skunk
weed,...Tuffy's playing around with,......
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
catnip, at least that's what.....
Lola's Pussy has to say
(cat)
catnip is a helluva drug
because all of the weed :coolgleamA:
was burned by the aliens
at the last trailer park
far back in the woods
I seen Big Foot Walking :o
and he was totally stoned :smoke:
chanting, "I want Belgium Chocolate",...... :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
dripped all over my fur
ran up my pants, And
made my edible thong disappear,....... :shruggy: :D :lol: :smilielol: :scratchchin: :rofl: :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
EDIT: Damn Belgium didn't log out AGAIN! Sorry! Posted on his name!........ (But, it's MY computer! :brickwall: I guess Chuck will have to take him to the BAD MOPAR FRIEND CLOSET FOR A SERIOUS TALKING TOO!!!!! LOL! :rofl: :smilielol: :nana:) Lisa :icon_smile_big: ;)
^^ doesn't speak english that well..........lol
I know I screwed up the thread continuity, so here's my real entry
with a big tough mouse
chuck will bad touch him
it's too late for that...
spreading of Belgium Chocolate over,....................... :D :slap: :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
over the salty belgian nuts
which then are cracked with
a ten pound sledge hammer
Lisa had me at thong :D
Quote from: TUFCAT on March 18, 2009, 09:35:03 PM
Lisa had me at thong :D
"is what most men say",....... :D :D :D :icon_smile_big:
Mrs.Skip68
when eating bearded clams and
all of a sudden bigfoot
announced he's gay & lonely.
all started when chuck bad
touched bigfoot's blank in woods :icon_smile_big:
in a soft loving manner
But Bigfoot did not like
to have his blank touched :flame:
he got some beef jerky
and kicked his ass instead
of attending the MATS show,...... :'( :'( :'( :'(
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
because Mrs. Bigfoot liked blank
who the hell is blank?
that's the stare you get
the stare I get alot
"better than the Chuck touch," :D :smilielol:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
which can really suck for... :coolgleamA:
the entire sand paper industry
fells just like tuffcats licker
or the dirty Chuck sticker
what's a dirty Chuck sticker
wouldn't you like to know
no, id rather be told
the Charger has been crushed...
Chuck's blank turned to mush
just as bigfoot grabbed his
Chargers pistol grip four speed
and stash of vintage porn
And ran to seven eleven
to buy latest Mopar Magazine
for sale next to the
large slurrpys and moon pies
surveillance cameras got his pic
of him playing with blank
While he was wanting to
talk to the babe standing
by the vinyl clad weirdo...
punk rock purple haired freak
who made Liberace look like...
he stepped out of gq
just a few days ago
after he seen the new
BOX OF LUCKY CHARMS AT
Mother Bigfoot's, featuring marshmallow shaped....
twigs and sticks that taste
like the forbidden pleasure of
sticking your foot in your
your ear while it jumps..
over a seahorse's yellow tail
light fandango turned cartwheels 'cross
I'm feelin' kinda sea sick
just lean over the deck
and abandon ship !!!! before the .....
yetti jumps over the dolphin
ice sculpture and lands in
a great big puddle of
Bigfoot Poop, Just wipe your
hot dog bun on it
and sell it as sloppy
Yetti seconds on a bun
with side of yetti chilli
while whiping butterfly poop off
:popcrn:
your nose like Indiana Jones
when he kicked the tar
out of little short round
bondo slingers that look like
Yheti fur with bondo filler
and smelled like six figures
not to be confused with,.....
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
that six finger bigfoot smell
that came out of the Yettis
and when the time came
to stand up, we took,.....
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
off like a bat out
of fourteen over thirty two
compounded daily until the taxes
are more then your pay
for my one hundredth post
:cheers:
hole that I have dug
to china only to find . . .
six people who were electrocuted
because people will not leave
any leftover Kung Pao Chicken
for that weird burger king
Le royal with cheese please
or was that at McDonalds :scratchchin:
Quote from: hemi-hampton on March 30, 2009, 12:42:56 AM
or was that at McDonalds :scratchchin:
has some really tasty "FLY"S",... :drool5: :eek2: :smilielol:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
i think that was burgerking
maybe crack in the box...
whoever it was, they are
out to get my intestines
Like White Castle Gut Grenade
White Castle is nasty stuff :eek2: :puke:
I really love belly bombers
that drop nepalm bombs over
The table for You to
vomit all over your plate
and slap your orange banana
julius with a side order
of hot juicy supple succulent
large breast of a young :o
Maid, Dressed like a French
Poodle, and looking for love
FROM A SICKLY AND DYING
exhaust and intake manifold distributor . . .
who eats lead paint chips,
and lives under power lines
on her face, life in
the fast lane, only she
will decide if life has
become reality when she
down cat inspired because towards . . .
(influenced by mikepmcs style writing) :lol:
my house over seventy two
:lol:
fluffy cats pooping in toilets
(no real trick to mine, mostly song lyrics. :lol:)
while reading their copy of
playcat mopar muscle and licking
things that can't be said
or seen most times without
a parascope and a clear . . .
bottle of gin without the
ability to stand or speak
after tufcat making 2,000 posts :icon_smile_big:
to fence his sheep that
are scared of bigfoot getting
Drunk, And chaseing them through.
spelling bees with many members
who steal General Lee's from
from a April fool prankster
THAT HAD A MASSIVE ANXIETY
attack of the killer tomatoes
came when the aliens landed,
in a boiling pot of
marshmellow oven roasted creamy smores
Oven...no way...over FIRE :yesnod: :drool5:
GRILLED AND GARLIC ENCRUSTED PRIME
pale blue dolphins in nets
is why I use ST130's :D
to do illegal acts outback
of the local hooters restaurant
with the manager named alfred
the butler, who likes to
polish the family jewels with
40 grit , like rubbing bondo
all over his pale body
WITH HONEY, BACON, SYRUP AND
feeding him to a hungry
like the wolf, strut on
said the guy on LSD
I mean in a LTD
while at a red light
district in Amsterdam trying to
avoid the stroke that caused
WOMEN THAT TRY TO LET
me have my way with'em,
No way Jose said the
little voice in the back
seat from the "stowaway" wife :eek2:
when the pedal hits metal :D
....the "cast iron" fry pan
burns TUFCAT when he starts
to let off some farts
but that long butt fur
silence the noise ,just like
Those big ear muff thingys..
:cheers:
that go behind your big
ten inch....record of her
doing some pretty wild things
at burning man while she
Sucks on my 10" ..... RECORD
palyers not used much anymore...
Quote from: Manfred318 on April 08, 2009, 09:55:14 AM
palyers not used much anymore...
what exactly is a Palyers,
to find out i asked
I think he meant player
learning was tough because that
tumble down the stairs kept
him from watching sesame street
he watched barney instead so....
:girlfight:
so women still have nasty
cravings to shine things up... :thumbs:
like chrome plated trailer hitches...
and this should interest TUFCAT...
Quote
RARE HEMI CAR!
http://seattle.craigslist.org/tac/cto/1114010847.html
All offers will be entertained as long as they're reasonable (I wont accept $20 and your sister's blind cat, Moppy)
:nana: :nana:
If you need your Bumpers
polished like bright shiny pieces
Of triple plated chrome, And
some solid gold nipple rings
that teamroth has experience with
only every other week so....
break out the lube, and
grease up your palms 'cause
this may hurt a little
red corvette, baby you're much
TO SLOW FOR THOSE MOPAR
fans that want to see,.......
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
JEFF GORDON GET NAILED IN
the keister, wait that's normal
if your a bit abnormal
but Ingrid is so smokin
the fire needs a poking
with a Marshmellow on Stick
, gramcracker, and chocolate stacked thick
instead of hotdogs, popcorn and
I will get the beer...
I will get the grill
We'll need Charcoal and lighter
to warm up the jetfighter
before the death star reaches
that big hole in the
front of your head is
where a small bird lives
With Cobwebs and big Spiders
and a pet wallaby kangaroo
so watch how you chew
bacca is one hairy bastard
just like big foot , the .....
the fabled character in the
mod top daytona photo shoot
certain to bring more revenue
but not to BK auto :smilielol:
who already have shares in .....
those damn pirates who struck
a deal with the reaper...
and totally lost thier asses... :2guns:
stupids dumb idiots dildos jerkoffs
though revenge they have swore
to faithfully execute the office
idiot who does TPS reports
......did you get the memo
what memo do you mean?
The one concerning your transfer
i knew that Mike...lol
and Satellite Sebrings are Chargers? :-\
http://cincinnati.craigslist.org/cto/1119962300.html
HAVE YOU SEEN MY STAPLER?
I will burn it down
to free the oppressed staples
of the beautiful red stapler
all praise the allpowerful stapler :bow:
staple remover is his undoing
I smash the staple remover!
while your girl smashes your
face into her large reaking
Face against her left knee
your jewels with her right...
as you scream like a..
rubber door knob sucking, limp...
clam after you scared it...
(http://www.motleycrow.com/ImageHost/Post-Crap-Clam.jpg)
now that is just wrong
please don't scare the clam!
you lily livered, limp wristed
pretty pink "mauve" Charger driving :icon_smile_big: :icon_smile_big:
miss daisy, morgan freeman says
get up your burning daylight
even though daylight doesn't burn
come burn that mother down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5DLMBmj8xY
my name's John Wayne sonny
bono got killed while skiing
idiot couldn't see the tree
it just wanted a hug!! :'(
like tinky winky on teletubbies
Who wear's a Bearded Clam
chowder bowl with raunchy bratwursts
say "hi" my little friend
Said Al Pacino in Scarface
While chomping down on a
great big slab of rare
Broccoli with cheese on it
You mean ROYALE with Cheese
I mean British Royal Marines
not the French, they're hiding.
and won't come out for
Leons quote from pulp fiction
which scared the hell out
queintin who wrote it for
The whole World to hear
when what to my wondering
eyes should appear but eight
crazy nights with adam sandler
And eight legged blood sucking
teenage mutant ninja turtle who,
see a cop doing illegal
thread hijacking while eating dougnuts
stupid donuts always getting him
to Fat to fit into
the tight mini skirt that
Tuffcat loves to wear while,...............
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
singing along to Barbara Streisand.
Also, I love to take
My Black High Heeled Shoes
that I slip on at
night, dancing at gay disco,....
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
where teamroth is a regular...
which seems irregular to me
I'm not really that regular
although you frequent it often :D
teamroth try some dietary fiber :shruggy:
to help controll your problem
i tried some fiber one
and bad, very bad things
happen to wing if he
doesn't find a car soon :icon_smile_big:
you don't wanna be around
because of several different reasons
like that one hoobastank song
and who is that please?
the group in this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Q30-2QpZVc
OH, I remember that Tune
...i mention that it sucks...
more than a donkey's butt
they picked a great name
AND STILL ITS A SHAME
that the band is lame
worse then weird croc shoes
But better then a Kick
in your new rocker panel
homes started to get popular
Maybe for Squirrels and mice
and men often go awry
over beer and their coke
and strippers that cost way
:cheers:
too much over normal sandblasting
and drunken one nighters with
:cheers:
an ugly, gross, long, naked
fire hose toting son of
A Fireman on a Holiday
road, holiday road, holiday road
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQc8vRfld8Q
five word thread my ass......
trade a van for Camaro...
http://cincinnati.craigslist.org/bar/1127647478.html
nah, keep the van dude
who knows if that van
might exceed 20pm's per hour
what the hell is 20pms?
who cares lets just continue
Personal messages is my guess :shruggy:
who is coming to dinner
'Flounder, Flounder in the sea,
is pretty tasty for me
if fresh from the sea
it may be, we'll see
what jigging bottom may bring
fish has mercury, sound delicious... :lol:
True, but it's crazy delicious!
mercury...not just in fish :flame:
but also a planet that
is inhospitable to human life
so we stay on Earth
cuz women are from Venus
so we can't go there
cuz we're not allowed to
cuz our wives said no
(I was on a roll)
noobs can't follow the rules :D ::)
same person cant post multiples
So why are you doing
i had a hot dog
yummy! im hungry! mmmm hotdog!
I dont like Hot Dogs :puke:
yeah, it's dead now... :P But...
I'm still tasting hot dogs
Thats the worst...reburped hotdog :eek2:
I hate repeating hot dogs
hotdogs are good with chilli
Say's Who, That Milli Vanilli
hotdogs gotta be red too :yesnod:
hebrew national are the best
no way ball park franks
Jordans red snappers for me
what are jordans red snappers?
Ball Parks Plump when cooked
guess its a Maine thing
http://www.cakeandcommerce.com/cake_and_commerce/2008/08/in-maine-red-hot-dogs-are-red-snappers-are-neon-red.html
There all mechanically separated chicken :eek2:
nope...reds are pork filled
HEMI powered air raid sirens :o :o
(Check the new issue of Mopar Action!)
prevented overtaking attack forces from . . .
rallying for the final push
into Detroit, and Chrysler prevailed...
stuck to the outside wall
http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,10461.0.html
http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,50423.0.html
http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,43517.0.html
http://www.dodgecharger.com/forum/index.php/topic,10461.msg123267/topicseen.html#msg123267
and it was a great dog... :yesnod:
Here's a Dog for you
what a nice looking dog...
:smilielol:
nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset-stomach, diarrhea.
maybe you should get Pepto...
Nazi Brock can't follow rules :o :shruggy: :-\ :rotz: :eek: :nono: :ahum: :cyclops:
a giant alien bullfrog-imposter dog . . .
a giant what??? bullfrog...dog :o
:smilielol: :smilielol: :smilielol: :lol: :lol:
Yikes, too close stand back :icon_smile_big: :icon_smile_big: :icon_smile_big: :icon_smile_big:
oh maii godd soooo cute!!!!
Wow, I didn't expect that
Wing, you don't expect much......... :smilielol:
as long you keep washing
My Pug, She'll Lick you :-*
while doo-dooing on your new . . .
Fiat Charger hybrid Pea Pod :eek2:
which sounds as gay as
Fiat Challenger Hybrid Pea Pod... :scratchchin:
with 1.2liter electric hemi and . . .
20'' rims, mega spoiler and
I'm starting to feel sick... :puke:
have another Ball Park frank
and beans, franks and beans
just don't fart this way
cool junior, which was sung
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2nprx0jMZs&feature=PlayList&p=5A9473743F22A589&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=10
by RATT, But I prefer
non hair bands I bet
that shave their whole bodies
and eat salads for dinner
While wearing fuzzy pink tutu's
with Chevy logos sewn into
the butt, saying Chevy's are . . .
slower than pregnant buffalo in
in molasses on a cold
day in hell where only
the lonely, was written by...
the wild and crazy "Royster"
who drove a Hemi Roadster
(Sorry for mispelling, Temporary Synapse misfire)
While soaking in the jacuzzi
filled with pig brine, and
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
cleaned out the wrinkles that
Alien bullfrog dogs face has
tried to botox out if
he had a "special" operation
is hard for a drunk
Alien that drives a little
green car with yellow pinstripes
That looks like a Yugo :eek2:
but really is a "Le'-Car",
Mrs.Skip68
made from unused french rifles
all those "Frenchies" never used,......
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
french fries are yummy, indeed.
french biocar runs fries grease . . . :lol:
but don't add mayonnaise before
mustard or you will have
to drive in tird gear . . .
with a sloppy 3spd shifter...
goin sideways down hershey highway
where control was lost. OH...!!
We're in deep crap now!!!! :o
very deep, and can't swim
Is Hershey Highway in Pennsylvania :rofl: :smilielol:
it is near teamroth's house
wing, you should stop by...
some time for a Beer
should be back thursday night
thats not long at all
then it's off to NED
for some needed counseling on...
why you don't put bondo ....
in very private automotive places
or your Girlfriends very private
jet headed for the island
to be greeted by Ricardo
Montalbán with soft Corinthian leather...
thong, and shiny purple fishnet.........
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
with hot pink high heels
with Pentastars, not bows. Sand
between his toes and SUN
shine cleaning service cargo van
makes me happy as long
It's got a 426 HEMI
and many hot chicks inside
the custom Corinthian leather interior
will give you carpet burn
so make sure you're not
Running around in your Speedo
I have heard stories about
speedo's pegged at top speed
and others at no speed
but cone shaped, aerodynamic jock-straps
Tend to be extremely painful
if you wear them backwards
or wear as a Chinguard
to protect against swine flu
Or from a upper cut
delivered by the burger king
can I have Fries with
fake blood ketchup instead of . . .
severed finger in my chilli
from wendys that wasn't true
so I took a bath
iron works is in maine
and potatoes are in Idaho :shruggy:
thought ida was a ho
ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas
said the cop to C-Stripes
and no Dusters allowed here
hanging on my Christmas Tree
air freshener !! that smells like .....
"scent of sum yung man," :eek2: :smilielol: :smilielol: :smilielol:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
oh man that was nasty
and everyone was grossed out . . .
sorry, got a dirty mind,............... :D :D :D
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
what happens in vegas shhh
shouldn't have, because then . . .
SeattleChargerDog's PM box is full
Yeah, So now what happens :scratchchin:
Well, we move on and
empty box and write about . . .
Quote from: oldgold69 on May 17, 2009, 10:00:13 PM
what happens in vegas shhh
Charger cringes at your avatar...
Yeah, Wasted a good Train :nana:
but Kyron's Enterprise vid is . . .
hurting my eye balls so
just pack up, go Home
...and take your barf bag
And Butt Plug with you
'cos we don't need visual
stimulation to get our load
of Laundry done by sunday
afternoons are great for sleeping...
that's what most men do
pop open a cold bottle
and dance the night away ;)
on the top deck of
a party boat at the
Playboy mansion grotto with babes
And then I woke up
..to find out that I..
am a playboy model already
In a past reincarnated life
where i got lotza tail
wagging at the other dogs
its better than sniffing butts
but snuffing butts in ashtrays
Is just plain old Nasty
like +35yo old bondo holding
onto a sack of nuts
that a Squirrel has buried
in the trunk of a
'64 chebby Impala with Mexicans
Crossing the Texan boarder to
sign up vote next year
for the smelly guy with
the name Chastity Bono. Once
again this reply means so
little it's a wast of
time and interwebs space time
that can be retrieved only
by smoking herbs grown in
between the rows of corn
That get picked at midnight
on days ending in Y
not roll it, pass it,
on to your silly looking
buddy getting stoned on corn
music for you head bangers
are really good with mustard,
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
sometimes theres corn in my..... :o
corncob pipe, which smells like
teen spirit recorded by nirvana
Nevermind, Come as you are
Who else would I be?
Take your time, hurry up...
...the choice is yours, don't
bogart this corncob pipe dude
thats some good corn silk
worm, larva of the silkmoth
who gives women support hosiery
and fancy neckties for men
or silk teddies for wife! :drool5: :drool5:
then you get in trouble
if worn by the girlfriend
which would get you shot
beaten, kicked and left for
Quote from: CB on June 24, 2009, 10:46:08 AM
beaten, kicked and left for
Divorce lawyers to kill me
deader than a christmas streudel
What is a Christmas Struedel?
she makes it with your
nuts, actually it tastes like
"banana nut" bread, :D only Crunchy,...... :eek2:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
but TUFCAT doesn't care because
he's on a High Tuna Diet, :smilielol:
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
puts lead in my pencil
and spring in his step
plus stink on his finger
sandwiches are good with cucumber,...
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
is good in california roll
in the hay with your
Best Friends Farmer's Daughter, Named
Billy Jack Bob Jimbo Dewayne
Johnson known as The Rock
could smell what was cooking
if the flame was high
down at the Carlisle Fairgrounds
the place where chicks play
In the mud Wrestling Nude :o :drool5:
while us dirty old men
sit and watch with enjoyment :popcrn:
and plenty of cold beers
said by a New Yorker ;)
to a norwegian who stole
your pretzel from Building T
while you drewled over the
Marie Juanas' undercarriage while she
was uncovering that Dana 60
made from toothpicks & glue.
Fix me a Ham Sandwich
And give Tuffy the bill
which gave him a fit
Like Hemi fitting in Dart
with a blower and slicks
that I slipped on after
I threw that Banana Peel
onto the 1/4 mile track
that was all up hill
just like walking to school
in the pouring rain without
shoes, in 5ft of snow
in the dark carrying my
lunch box still full of
of the rocks i would
give to Trick or Treaters
ending in jail and singing
and whining like a little
baby sitting on guido's lap
to 'bump' the threat up :D
because if it dies we
will all be very sad
and start a new one
Was that Thread or Threat :scratchchin: :shruggy:
wouldn't you like to know
why you ask about burritos
Y tacos es muy bueno :yesnod:
the taco bell dog died
start thread about the dog.
(R.I.P Taco Bell Dog) :engel016:
he was a fugly thing
I heard he got fired
I heard he got FRIED....
when he smoked a chulopa
under the counter and choked
on those fake tacos they
make out of horse meat
the Beatles, they're the new
ones since two croaked. Paul
who needs two gallons of
whatever Madonna is taking in
place of his geritol shakes
rattles, rolls and falls on
down the hill crashing into
a big pile of..................shaving
cream covered up the best
place on earth to be
Is the Woodward Dream Cruise
but you find you're at
Taco Bell, Eating tacos and
crying about the dead dog
parts in your combo platter
when you only ordered the
Hot Dog, Not That Dog
that craps in your yard
two pounds of smelly soft
Taco meat that taste like
chicken, but doesn't everything? A
dog by any other name
would not taste the same
as cat at pei king
or their poodle with noodles
smashed up and ground into
Oblivion. Where are we going
to find such a delicious
change of topic before we
continue to drive ourselves nuts
Trying to change the Topic :brickwall:
of discussion is officially changed!
The next reply is Gay!
gay means happy doesn't it?
"Happy" if you are Gay!
can we change topic again :scratchchin: :shruggy:
I can make that jump! :nana:
to a more heterosexual situation
I am rolling with laughter :smilielol: :smilielol:
and almost being laughed at :nana:
In a manly man way! :lol:
by squirrels in the yard
Who's big nuts get dragged :popcrn:
down the road by a
big red tractor with a
Hot Blonde named Amy Driving
I used to know Amy
The Farmers Daughter of Wrestling ?
Hey! How did you know?
everybody knows amy! She gets........
to body slam you on
my Charger that runs again.... :icon_smile_tongue:
after i checked the gas
and made sure I lubed
The rear end with KY
Then the brakes went out....
but who needs brakes when
Doing 110 down a hill
with all that KY leaking
out of the rear-end of
I thought we changed subject....... :smilielol:
we need hope not change
which would be a change.....
If it were Bob Hope
we would all be dead
on the road to Morocco
I bought myself a taco
...That i stole and ate! :coolgleamA:
while i was hot-wiring your...
pinto for my date with
The queen of Dunkin Donuts...
and She is named LOLA
LO-LO-LO-LO-LOLA :D :D :D :D
And her Dunkin Donuts hole'a .... :smilielol:
sat on me and broke...
Can't get the tach working.... :icon_smile_dissapprove:
I still can't understand this. :coocoo:
Quote from: 1969chargerrtse on August 30, 2009, 08:43:47 PM
I still can't understand this. :coocoo:
because Bmoto messed up the
Rhythmic flow of the donut...
Lady, Who sat on the
Wall like Humpty Dumpty and
the mad cow scientists' other
toe nail scratched his $5000
Mustang that sucks a huge..
Rusty Ball Sack Bumper Charm.....
or was that Bumper Chrome :scratchchin:
Dripping on to the ground
so that Marianne from Brooklyn...
Quote from: BigRed66 on September 11, 2009, 03:14:43 PM
so that Marianne from Brooklyn...
and Fezzy Offenhiemer took some
more Orville Reddenbacher Pop Corn
Just before golfing 18 holes
hitting the balls over the
parade of marching midgets with
Stilts and wearing tall Hats
and dancing the macarana while
I thought this thread died :scratchchin:
Quote from: hemi-hampton on September 22, 2009, 06:49:23 PM
I thought this thread died :scratchchin:
Like Kurt Russel In Death
Quote from: hemi-hampton on September 22, 2009, 06:49:23 PM
I thought this thread died :scratchchin:
Nope,it goes on and...........
yet to live another day
it's like a song you can't get out of your head
like Lady Gagas' newest song
:slap: :lol:
Quote from: CB on September 24, 2009, 03:23:03 PM
like Lady Gagas' newest song
:slap: :lol:
cover picturing he's got junk
in his trunk which makes
Rocking pneumonia - "boogie woogie blues"
brothers car is a mopar
which can only lead to
courtney love gang banging chihuahuas :eek2: :lol:
on Jack and Rod's show
I never heard of it
because monkeys stole my television
from High Pitch Eric's Apartment...
Now Jackie and Donna are
Doing the Funky Chicken in
Lace and bannana pudding with
Maraschino cherry's up the wazoo!
Don't forget the Whipped Cream
put in your pantys by..
one sick pervert, pulling his
Big Shiny Wood Pistol Grip
...in front of Sal Governale...
Quote from: BigRed66 on October 08, 2009, 12:01:39 AM
...in front of Sal Governale...
I start eating my borrito
when chuck norris's x-wife says, "
don't pull my Pistol Grip
like chuck realized too late . . . :smilielol:
so he bumped it up
And then what happens is
that the story develops into . . .
another chuck's movie with the
Campbell's Dinosaur Shaped Condensed Soup
That he eats with a...
a big front end loader
painted b5 blue with a
white bumble bee R/T stripe
And fuzzy dice hanging from...
the new superbird wing mounted
just behind the new Hemi
passing massive torque through the
throbbing, pulsating, twisting, shaking, redhot.... :o
1000 cubic yard scoop shovel
...operated skillfully by George Takei...
wile he reaches around and.....
slams his pistol grip shifter...
Into back of your Head :-*
as you were performing actions
your mom wouldn't be proud
to say she taught you . . .
... if you really had one.
... That enjoyed the chicken dance
at night by the old . . .
Boat House on the Lake
where Jason hangs out waiting
Ok different idea, how about when someone posts they put up a relating pic?....hey just an idea to spruce up a dull thread :shruggy:
Quote from: The70RT on October 24, 2009, 06:08:34 PM
where Jason hangs out waiting
Ok different idea, how about when someone posts they put up a relating pic?....hey just an idea to spruce up a dull thread :shruggy:
for campers to murder and..
(http://scifiwire.com/assets_c/2009/02/Fridaythe13th_JasonWindow-thumb-550x285-12885.jpg)
don't see this catching on
Moving like a slow Turtle
wax which can give stains :D
(http://images.thetruthaboutcars.com/2009/04/d1387turtle-wax-posters.jpg)
(why would you wax turtles?) :nana:
because they look like this :smilielol:............ :nana:
THAT IS WAY TOO FUNNY!! :smilielol:
How? What's funny about it?
Are you talking to me? :D
Yep, me and willis jr. :smilielol:
your tone is all wrong
What you Talkin about Willis
allready on page two so:
(http://www.breaktaker.com/albums/pictures/signs/Bump.jpg)
The ugly stick strikes twice...
HOLY CHRIST GOD IS EVIL!
(http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/uncyclopedia/images/2/28/Do_not_want_cat.jpg)
said the orange-rejecting cat who. . .
...just smelled Richard Christy's taint... :eek2:
Ewww. who is Richard Christy?
then the cat jumped onto . . .
the air as if something.....
stuck it's ass with a
Al Pacino shooting his gun
balloon boy please come back
Howard Stern needs to interview
Ted Nugent and see about
some bullshit arrest in Cincinnati
Ted is a good man
:hah:...so says his probation officer... :smilielol:
,the venison, potato,s & gravy
train, is made with horse,......
Mrs.Skip68 ;)
are we talking horse taint?
I don't know he hunt's.... :shruggy:
any thing with a tail :2thumbs:
except a jackass like this
or a jackass like this...
(http://msnbcmedia3.msn.com/j/ap/whcd10703202230.grid-2x2.jpg)
The real jackass - Kanye West
and your ass taint kidding! :eek2:
Kanye can bite the BIG
one. Rude to poor Taylor . . .
who has a crush for
Wayne Newton and his big...
keyboard doesnt type any '
'cause Taylor ain't so swift
as that kanye west dupe
what were we talking about
how we resurrected this post
to lure Ponch into posting
or maybe just going postal
or maybe going to MATS.
or maybe his charger running?.. :lol:
Now, will Brock un-retire to....
become king of the posts
Or Queen for a Day
wait, he isn't queen already?
no, lady in waiting for
someone to trade a 70
VW that smells like something
Quote from: greenpigs on April 17, 2010, 08:24:01 AM
VW that smells like something
fishy that tastes like chicken
Are we talking Frog Legs :scratchchin:
Quote from: hemi-hampton on April 19, 2010, 06:20:57 PM
Are we talking Frog Legs :scratchchin:
do they taste like chicken?
if their pickled in formaldehyde
or packed in a Turduckhen
This thread lives once again :o
You guys are killing me
With unrelated crap you should
be nice to each other
before things get out of
control, but first you must...
...acknowledge Gary's 121 IQ score...
to see how much he
...covers himself in things that...
....can't be discussed at the....
time of being there with
Bannanas in his dirty old
Moparz costume, complete with all
tin foil hat ! with rubber .......
...plunger to repel all the... :shruggy:
damn rats running around here
which is good only when .....
the cat is away for
dinner and laying around on
oh shit i loose sorry...
That I got off track
when Jimmy Johnson ran right
into Shaq vs the Valcano
Save that for another day
so when it rains it
will be purple rain like
.... never seen before this moment ....
or will see ever after
I poke my eyes out
after watching that movie purple
Rain, with that No Talent...
... skinny, corvette singing, waste of ...
A singer Morris Day and
Ponch decided to post finally. :D
Someones gotta do it, So
it's broadcast sheets for everyone!!
Yippee kai yeah they screamed
transforming junk into rare and
valuable NOS parts for the
Pink 71 Hemi Cuda Convertible
with the ultra rare option
of fishey smelling passenger seat
Quote from: TUFCAT on August 13, 2010, 10:49:06 PM
of fishey smelling passenger seat
and factory manual column shift
Don't forget the Power Ashtray
for those power trips that
leave you chain smoking some
Mexican Purple Kush that Snoop
Dogg wouldn't smoke even if.....
Quote from: TUFCAT on August 16, 2010, 01:30:10 PM
Dogg wouldn't smoke even if.....
Beyonce was a human bong...
.....can anyone prove she's not? :apimp:
Quote from: TUFCAT on August 16, 2010, 02:34:17 PM
.....can anyone prove she's not? :apimp:
I'd use her as one
get me excited, Then I'd
really in trouble for something
I was Smoking, Then I
might smoke some Froot Loops
then get alittle fruity tootie
Reminds me of Devils Rejects
Part Two, where ballerinas and
Fairy's danced all night long
while rubbing bondo down on ..........
each other's supple and voluptuous
coke bottle shaped rear quarter
....while their chrome bumbers needed.....
some Polishing like my Helmet
first appeared in New York
City on April 1st, 1969
when cool things rolled around
Like Alice Cooper and Iggy
and then came Richard Nixon :nixon: :misbehaving:
......saying I'm not a crook!
I'm just your Average Bonehead
dummy that wants to be
as honest as Lyndon Johnson. :lol:
Quote from: squeakfinder on August 22, 2010, 10:51:09 AM
as honest as Lyndon Johnson. :lol:
Who had John Kennedy Assassinated
For stealing his depends that
He wears on his Butt
,but landing on the moon
is harder when you can't...
make the moon people understand...
why your ship had to
I don't understand this thing?
Pull on handle to land
but the sceptics cried bullshit
we are not men, we
lied about the whole thing
but only a little bit
like being slightly pregnant so...
until the doc said triplets
we thought she was just
Having a big litter of
Puppies. What a waste of
and ball licking. The morning
After woke to a Hangover
,chapped balls, but better than
the ex ever made them.
dogs have all the luck
and should play Lotto. Vegimatics
Transmission :scratchchin: Never heard of it :shruggy:
or want to use it
like you would a rockcrusher
....or even a ball buster
not me she cried pitifully...
I want a cheese log,
I want A log cabin
with a ten car garage
on a big ass lake
and a credit card with
no prostitute charges on it...
Bathroom I can play Baseball
swing batter batter swing batter...
far back in the hills
ran the purple Hemi Charger
that ran just like a
girl I knew in Pittsburgh
who's legs were as big
as 100 year old trees
with brittle bark peeling branches
but it's worth the climb
to top of Mount Everest
... hoping to see Dalai Mopar ....
cleaning his fouled plug because
the cylinder was too wet
to be dry. Pete Rose
never bet on baseball games
And Pink pigs fly :pigsfly: And
bears don't shit in the
garage next to the oil
but the woods are full
of Camaros that fell off
cheap made restickered two posted
lift for your sagging man
AND LIVE ON TO LIFT
another day another dollar, Or
or be enslaved in the
corrupt governments greed to screw
us when we are not...
ready to grab our ankles
full of chigger bites from
doing it in the Woods
like a couple of goats
but the electric fence blew
every fuse in a ten
mile radius of that big
pile of disgusting and nauseating
pile of whatever it was
It was a Ford Pinto
flaming like a Roman Candle
someone had torched it with
coleman lantern fuel and a
exploding gas tank full of
C4 explosives put there by
Little green men from Mars
and their midget droid army
led by Marvin the Martain
and the spiders from mars
that suck out your brain...
with a straw, sell the
and sell the goo for
Bodyman to make more bondo
that sets up so fast
hans can sand them quicker
with his bondo internet express
like a rocket sled on
Episode of Dukes of Hazzard
in those tight daisy duke
cha cha little shorts she
is 56 now so shorts
....from those days really smell
Just like in the 80's
when she was super hot
but now she looks like
she could still be a ..........
Bendable MILF. If not then
at least easier to catch...
Now on the other hand...
younger men might give her
an oil bath with sae
to lube her for
Ride on my Hot Rod
p.s. last comment was only 4 words :scratchchin:
which is a gold tri-cycle :D
fuel injected turbo charged mega
with baseball cards in the
spokes !! to make it sound ....
like you're cool enough to
to ride next to a
small block Chebby camero with ...
chrome fart can mufflers spewing
Blue smoke and a bad
Bent intake valve and spring
that clatters like a noisy
monkey in a banyan tree
while speading bondo on a .....
plywood fender in the heat
while your beer's getting warm
and has a bump sticker.....
that says honk if you're....
An Idiot. Then I drive
and honk like I'm horny :smilielol: :smilielol: :smilielol:
only if to state obvious
That dirty old men need
loving four times per year
so they're aware seasons change
By how it hangs so
near and dear to my
american express card dont leave
home with out it ! because .......
you never know when you'll
be stuck without your favorite
pair of pink underwear thongs
That Mefirst sticks on whatever
not touching that with a
sublime green g-string and sequenned...
pair of leather boots ! that ....
have dingle ball fringe and...
Elton John over-sized sunglasses
remember, everything tastes like chicken
except chicken. It tastes like
a pair of red ball
Dingle berries hanging from your
rear view mirror with a
pink fuzzy dice next to
a sunpro tac !! thats bolted .....
on the deck-lid so drivers
can see your whimpy shifts
... in your girly man chevy ....
four door front wheel drive
eco - tech four bangin' pile
of massive power Briggs/Stratton
wind it up and let
it go down the preverbial
Hershey Highway, Located in Pennsylvania
where Amish buggies can outrun
the local ! hot chebby camero
with only 0ne horse power
but one is the only
no horse power simply pure
oohey gooey syrupy sticky dripping
from your chin, So just
get off your knees and
tell the Jets they suck :drool5:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOzYzC7EBsE
fresh air through the open
Hemi hood scoop on your
Lumina APV van that looks like
loafed bread that hit a
Quote from: The70RT on September 18, 2010, 10:40:01 AM
loafed bread that hit a
wedge of wisconsin cheddar cheese
that smells and tastes like .....
roasted rat which off course
is like chicken in Belgium :lol:
There is no more syrup....
to dip your chicken in
but who needs syrup when
you have the most tasty .......
breast meat you could lay
your chicken fetish hands on
before you go home to
your nagging hen at home
to hear that sqwakin' melody
normally called the chicken dance
which makes you feel like .......
being the only guy with
a two inch long pecker :D
standing in front of a .......
red hot torrent of percolating
go go chicken java juiced...
then wondering if the blisters
will ooze with yellow puss
(You guys are getting Disgusting) :puke:
Like Videos from Joey Gowdy!!
riding a donkey in the
wannabe valley of rusted out
.... freak mobiles with hippies and ....
flowers and rainbows painted on
1968 VW Flower Power Van
powered by a blown 440
with a double shot of
espresso like a scalded dog
with a shaved ass that
walks backwards and looks as
bad as the Denver Broncos
on a windy ice covered
lake ! right out in the ......
howling, stinging, blinding blizzard of
sugar frosted flakes with generous
amounts of sugar coated strawberries
that taste soo good !! just ......
just close your eyes thinking
Tony Tiger tucking you in
at night as you count
your lucky charm leprechaun doing
several magical dances that bring
DJMIII
Count Chocula and Frankenberry doing
A disturbing dance that sorta
Reminds me of a
DJMIII
Monkey
DJMIII
tap dancing to the tunes
of skinnypete's five word posts?
the man is kicking smokes
no more takin his tokes
there are alternatives to cigs
but all those calories in
everything you'll find to eat
will not count as long as
exercise your butt off, Then
smoke bowls of Froot Loops
because Kellogg sponsors this thread
with dollars raised from doing
donuts with the grocery getter
full of chips and beer
And Lola in back seat :o
after some premature white bullets
shot her in the eye :o
from Ralphie's Red Ryder BB
Gun. That's not to funny
unless it ain't your eye.
because not everyone wears glasses
or goggles, peepers or specks
polished toenails in lovely, bright....
sublime with a hint of
raspberry tart with just a
detached retina. But movin' on.....
was a good tv show
along with the Benny Hill
"cant lookin for the sheepin- :smilielol:
BJ and the Bear was
only lasted 3 years because
BJ always spanked his monkey
while pulling his road ranger
I liked the Brough Twins :o
with the fuzzy cute pussys
and their big white cats
That purr when you rub
the furry part down under
Quote from: adauto on October 20, 2010, 09:46:09 AM
the furry part down under
the holiest of holiest places
Butt you taint go without
a little high octane sticky
Quote from: The70RT on October 19, 2010, 10:42:11 PM
with the fuzzy cute pussys
Wrong Twins, Here they are
Hmmm, wow four that alike :icon_smile_tongue:
need to be seen again
to be enjoyed by a
It lives yet again!!!! :lol:
whole new generation of readers
Just looking for some trouble
to cause but, not interrupt
the flow of the tide
in the cosmic stream of
make belief and wishing it
would all just go away
leaving a blank canvas for
everyone hopes and dreams for
striking it rich in lotto
then realizing they had all
forgotten to buy a ticket
and their numbers came up
so they had a good
time drinking the rest of
their beer before crying in
each others arms and yelling
angrily how unfair it is
that we are sore losers
while others are always lucky
at finding loose change under
the back seat of the
best muscle car ever, a
68 dodge charger that goes
second behind a 69 Charger
followed by all the other
wannabee muscle cars like ford
Shelby Mustangs and Chevy Camaro's
that lack styling like our
extra nice 71 dodge chargers
Because scrap is up today
and their looking for those
undesirable muscle cars that everyone
thinks looks cool, but doesn't
seem to fit the bill
as what is hip and
highly desirable amongst the true
lovers of stylish muscle cars
and young stylish women who
prefer a 69 Charger over
a real warm bodied man :shruggy:
because men in fact are
real men who own Chargers
what ever model it is
, a good spanking will help
rev up the old engine
and get the juices flowing
which will ultimately leave a
skid mark from the dana
for me to clean up
with the 409 spray bottle
and a really good rag
from the trash pile in
the shed out the back
of Burke by the black
stump which is really just
left field and the right
side up on the big
mound made from dirt higher
than a lot of mountains
but softer than marshmallows after
the storm hit that blew
the walls down without so
much of hitting the chimney
with smoke still coming out
but there was no fire
that was left burning from
yesterdays cook up
Quote from: Fred on September 17, 2013, 11:47:43 PM
yesterdays cook up
that's only three words fred :icon_smile_big:
of duck and marshmallow soup with a
I fixed it :icon_smile_big:
crispy crust of bread and
:2thumbs:
a frosty mug of beer
onions fried to a caramelised
sorry I'm getting my 3 and 5 word games mixed up.
apple pie fritter made by
You know what they call that right?
three Russians in Cossacks and
I'd hate to think. It's just that my IS has slowed right down and I'm trying to hurry to get a word in.
mail order brides paid with
money stolen from the mint
of China who owns most
of the chop sticks ever
produced in the united states
and shipped to them in
six wooden crates binded with
several chinese dragons puffing smoke
through their long hairy nostrils
after having their wings clipped
by flying red monkeys with
all the way to the
five and dime super market
to get a packet of
are you running slow to fred I thought it was just mine :brickwall:
sea monkeys to raise for
their prowess at rowing home
to fend off the little
pigs and three blind mice.
mine's so slow I can't stand it.
who had turned pirate and
ship into small pieces of
kindling that was good for
starting the town on fire
but really hard to sail
on pirating expeditions around the
local town duck pond because
because kindling doesn't float well
when its on fire from
burning down the town and
Not to mention the pond
where ducks swim in rows
while practicing their figure eights
following their mother who was
ever so proud of the
babies, but three ducks seemed
to have gone missing and
mama was forced to waddle
ashore and over an incline
looking for the three little
pigs to ask them if
they had seen three ducklings
but they hadn't seen them
since the day of the
roast duck festival yesterday at
at the old quacks place
where they demonstrated making Peking
their new home due to
the delicious cuisine that focuses
on all manner of strange
things to do to ducks
before Jim catches on and
get's his ducks in a
little bundle and takes them
to his grandma's house down
by the river nestled peacefully
in the dark cove where
all manner of evil is
playing cards with his buddies
and holding the winning hand
which meant he won at snap
of the wrist and his
cronies come running because they
didn't want to miss out
on playing cowboys and dollies
and using real live ammo
out on the front porch
of daddies house while mommie
was out the back doing
dirty deeds with the next
door neighbour on his front
of his beautiful ford mustang
to the utter horror of
his wife that was so
upset she went and played
strip poker and the local
cowpoke joined her with great
delight while stunned that they
finally found each other in
the heat of the moment
before things cooled down again
so they could dance the
to the funky music being
played coming from the daughter's
new transistor radio with dolby
digital plus and mp3 player
bought recently at the fair
along with cotton candy and
clean underpants in case of
an unexpected trip to hospital
to remove the dead gerbil
From mustang guy, because we
know how weird ford owners
can be about their buts
being beating by our beloved
mopar or no car that is
However a fried SPAM sandwich
to big for a monkey's
hand to hold
would not fit up its ass
So the monkey went hungry
and used the fried spam
as a Brillo scrub pad
and later a bath time
rubber ducky before being tossed
on the floor to be
so it won't get thrown
as a frisbee because that's
what little brats do to
left over fried spam sandwiches
because they do not like
fried spam instead of ham
without green sunny side eggs
served up for the grinch
for his daily serve at
the tennis court on a
glorious sunny night in June
, july through the end of
a piece of rubber hose
to whip the snot out
of any unruly young punks
racing around in their little
suped up jappers before running
against the mopar big blocks
and embarrassing themselves by losing
their pink slips and running
shoes on the tarmac because
their moms were out for
revenge after they sprayed letterboxes
with silver Chrysler pentastar emblems
from one end of the
neighborhood to the other side
of the tracks where junk
ricers are stacked
5 deep cant count to five
being disposable cars that will
I have a hard time counting too
end their lives as beer
slurping robots that don't get
no respect no matter what
shape of car they transform
themselves into , they just can't
therefore have given up entirely
and just stayed as a
gopher chocking fart knocking honda
and be done with it
in case anyone comes looking
because he overcooked the rice
burgers and turned them into
great green globs of greasy
nuggets that everyone really liked
to throw in the garbage
because they smelled really bad
and tasted even worse and
they sold really well in
the underground where mutants lived
dirty old rotten lettuce wrappers
next to the zoo at
at the expense of the
fordham road and the bronx
rate paying public making them
ukulele players and folk lore
such as the old man
and the sea who caught
frogs for a living so
so that he could court
the swamps beauty down the
laneway and make her his
frog hunting partner in crime
and getaway driver in case
the police discovered the case
of moonshine in the trunk
under the couple of dozen
pounds of "tea" destined to
make green dragon for the
Puff and his friends to
drink and go tripping for
a few millennium in space
before walking on the moon
looking for the cow that
jumped and the plate that
full of swiss cheese crumbs
left out for the birds
who were actually hawks waiting
to peck out your eyes
if you looked up their
Cazaly's, in there and out
side the front door he
showed them his might before
blowing it all over the
ocean where his bonnie lass
cabin pigeon forge to spend
way to much money on
camping on a short wooden
bench in the middle of
the beach on the pier
where the waves break right
below the lower window of
the main bedroom so every
candle was blown out by
the sea spray from the
great big whale that swam
by the huge pirate ship
where the monkeys tried hard
to throw their hard earned
brownie points to the wind
where the big bad capt
swiped at them with his
long rubber sword that could
good night :wave:
bend in the middle so
:wave:
he could use it as
a very nice back scratcher
to get a spot that
his pet monkey could not
reach his hand inside of :eek2:
his pocket to play with :icon_smile_dissapprove:
his dingle dangle any time
the Capt. wasn't paying attention
to what the monkey was
doing and before he knew
it the monkey had shoved
his handful in his ass
and pulled out a plum
and stuck it on his
other hand to show off
before swallowing it down whole
with tea and coffee cake
to disguise the rotten flavour
of rotting food like cabbage
left in the dumpmaster for
all the little kids to
make cabbage patch dolls from
to sell off to buy
Fred's fully restored hemi charger
and give the hemi to
the elephant who lost it
somewhere under the rainbow while
Lucky the leprechaun stole his
treasured shalalee to use as
pocket money to buy his
very own pot of gold
from the gold diggers in
in them thar hills who
stoled their moonshine making
for a fast getaway from
the guys in thar hills
armed with pick axes and
sawed off shot guns with
cork stoppers so as not
to hurt their uncle dads
and their mothers brothers sisters
at the family reunion next
to the old Texaco station
where all will be revealed
about who all their father
went out with before marrying
their redneck sister and having
to learn to play banjo da da da duh duh :nana:
while her/your daddy would
slap his mud skipping feet
on the front porch of
the pink two hole outhouse
located on the highest hill
over looking the biggest swamp
in the FL. everglades by
golly by gosh its big
compared to the other swamps
but only tinny compared to
the great coral reef by
the weir up the creek
down near the lowlands by
the big bend in the
autobahn where driving fast is
necessary due to all the
high powered cars pushing you
to move over so they
can meet their maker sooner
and get to their destination
before the queue gets too
thick and start moving slower
in the direction of hell
way below the crust of
scum two miles deep with
everything that's rotting like the
left over from last month
chicken dinner that I won
at the local salvo's bingo
to benefit "to save our
late last century mail box
from the everyday hurricanes that
Do you guys see these
ravage the east coast from
they used to call them cyclones now they call them east coast lows :yesnod: Google pasha bulker storm
high winds pushing a wall
over the side of the
great big hairy kangawallafox from
that was so huge that
it couldn't be jumped without
three to hold it down
by it's little tiny short
stumpy ears so that someone
can take it home to
have some rough and tumble
warm cuddle time without being
molested by onlookers wanting a
peek while they were doing
eaten alive by the fleas
that live deep below in
the woolly under fur so
soas not to be disturbed
while munching on tender young
shoots just starting to sprout
from the under arms of
magilla gorilla and his associates
Mr pebbles and his not
so clever partner in crime
who did all the heavy
drinking to get over his
being used for heavy lifting
of those heavy 20 ounce
cans of his favourite brew
made from the good stuff
like hops yops and rice :cheers: :cheers: :cheers:
so everyone gets happy quick
no matter how rough the
silk sheets are in the
masters bedroom only he can
change them because all the
servants have taken the weekend
off and gone to watch
NASCAR drivers race around the
lake in row boats from
dawn to dusk in search
of the lost starters flag
that lay at the bottom
of a row boat undiscovered
species of star fish from
mars are taking over ugggg
so be prepared for the
invasion from the planet X
that sprout up out of
the old bath water from
washing last years dirty dishes
up and around the s
.....is for schnitzel and salad
and salmon sandwiches swilled down
with sweet wine or stout
or glass of iced tea
to put hair
where hair should not grow
and make that which should
be left undisturbed into a
I'm getting my 3 and 5 word games muddled.
long braided red pony tail
frothing wailing demented very nasty
hanging out over the wet
edge for Rapunzel to swing
and spin it into his
favourite brand of cappuccino ready
steady as she goes off
balance and falls flat on
the slippery slope to nowhere
before realizing what had happen
And that it was just
pointless to grab for a
Set of keys for a
ride off the slippery slope
as that rides for free
for us older non retired
persons but the line is too
long for us impatient people
so we're going to the
saloon and belly-up to the
bar where the one legged
man stood staring at the
three legged fellow wondering if
he had a spare glass
eye as his has gone
out for the day with
the bar maid carrying the
receptacle it lay in so
as to not loose it
behind the couch when they
snuck back there for a
look at the hidden marbles
with no idea that poly
had rehidden them in the
Hippo pond with the ducks
where he thought they'd be
undetectable among the duck eggs
but was sorely mistaken as
some nosy bastard was watching
like a pervert peeping in
through the key hole and
drawing pictures of what he
saw to prove a point
to his lady friend from
the other side of town
he could do it better
if she would let him
but she was always on
her knees to beg for
the right to use the
frying pan to cook his
birdie num nums instead of
that boiled oat crap again
but he was being stubbon
as his mother always said
to eat everything on your
plate and don't hide it
under the dinner room carpet
that needs a good clean
cupboard to be placed in
the kitchen for storing oatmeal
to be used as confetti
during a welcome home celebration
for the yankee doodle dandy
marching band that played their
way down Main Street dancin'
and kicking up their heels
till one lost a heel
in the head of another
marching band player who wasn't
very happy with the outcome
because his hair piece fell
to the ground and was
messed up and the curls
lost their bounce and went
strait as it got wet
so now he has to
go home and put it
in the microwave with curlers
wrapped in tin foil so
the forks will spark better
unless they're plastic forks which
will be much less fun
to use afterwords because of
hair melted unto the tines
that will get into your
teeth and help you floss
certain to please the dentist
but the backwards hairball boogie
is beyond gross! and should
be left for those disgusting
trolls under the London bridge
which is burning down and
the poms just don't care
because they're all living in
Australia where the weathers much
more conducive to leaving the brolly
at home because it rarely
rains for more than a
minute or two at a
spot in the middle of
the damp rain forests of
the southern highlands of northern
Australia and the netherworlds of
the north grasslands of great
North Dakota where it nevers
see's super hot days like
like in the middle east
where dust storms cover most
of the living dead and
the five legged camels that
that trip over themselves when
a lady camel comes by
wearing nothing more than a
big smile and a hump
and painted camel toes for
the upcoming Carnival where she
is vying for the title
of miss spit beauty 2013
and hoping to take home
the second runner up to
have made into a spittoon
with camel covering for added
decorative emphasis for a contest
to win a free toaster
to make sandwiches for lunch
for every one at the
picnic at hanging rock that
was about to go horribly
sideways because their compass
fell down a hole so
deep, no-one was going to
go down and get it
out of the crack where
the hair hasn't been wiped
recently due to lack of
any hygienic standards what soever
and hard to reach places
right between the shoulder blades
where he's itchy as hell
with no tree around to
climb in case a bear
comes looking for a blue
assed baboon that wouldn't fit
through the keyhole so had
to get a wrecking ball to
open the door into the
other realm so he could
change his blue ass to
a new purple one that
could walk on walls to
avoid the oh so rough
fly paper stuck to the
high heels belonging to the
other blue assed baboon that
turned its ass purple for
a chance at that lovely
juicy moth that's stuck good
to the rough fly paper
with no chance in hell
of getting to the ball
or the purple ass of
courage award at the civic
reception specially in their honour
for saving the very rare
herd of miniature lice that
like to swarm in the
short and curlies for a
little night time action before
heading south for the winter
Olympic games that were held
Antarctica for six months straight
due to bad light and
blowing drifting snow and ice
the lice all got frostbite
from their orange cream cicles
on their tender pink circular
computer mouse pads that were
used as place mats when
the ice castle opened for
the gathering of the nations
united to legalize growing pot
in the jungles of amazonia
and other nicer places like
the great northern grassfields of
many great countries around the
sunny side of the house
which is the northeast in
the land of oz and
the great lowlands of north
western china where the giant
one eyed monster ran free
laughing at all it saw
that had eyes in excess
positioned in every cranny of
of their faces so they
could see in all directions
but still missed the big
ugly critter coming their way
so they had to hide
far away in the hills
of the great highlands of
the lowland to the east
of the land of oz
where the wizard left his
magical things to perform his
latest magical illusion to the
munchkins, Dorothy, scarecrow, tinman and
lion, tigers and bears that
walked the yellow brick road
carrying sawed off shot guns
for effective self protection from
the zombie flying monkeys with
a real bad attitude and
yielding long sharp spears with
oh so sharp pointy bits
intended to spear bananas for
but instead were used to
scratch that bit behind their
hairy little tails after swinging
to the music playing at
American bandstand where the jackson
Browne gave a brilliant prformance
with his lady friend dancing
through a hoola hoop with
only their tu tu on
which ripped after getting caught
running over the short fence
and not jumping high enough
because their jeans were loose
and catching around their ankles
impairing them from traveling too
the rodeo without their horses
in the trailer that doubles
as a submarine after floods
so the horses were seahorses
and they were sea monkeys
preparing for a wild rodeo
in a glass of water
destined to be drank by
the cowboys from the great
outdoors that were bitten by
rabid coyotes while tending to
not look where they're stepping
as they crept up on
the cowgirls bathing in the
in the sticky gooey slime
oozing out of the green
pond of natural spring water
flowing out by a spillage
caused by a wrecked dump
of human waste that was
slowly floating to the top
out by them thar hills
to be bottled and sold
to the city folks living
on the raged edge of
the lowlands by the grasslands
populated with bison and antelope
and all other roam free
critters like wolves and coyotes
to make mischief at will
playfully chasing the lone roo
up to the rolling hills
and out across the plain
to granma's house we go
looking for a good time
with little red riding hood
,Goldie locks and the three
little piggy's and of course
that was running from the
biggest badest wolf of the
lower levels of the pits
far below the mines of
northern Angola so that if
you go down take your
sleeping bag as you won't
be sleeping on a bed
of lettuce more likely some
river rock warmed by the
hot springs of northern Angola
upon which to warm the
nice new sleeping bag of
the only person to have
Quote from: nvrbdn on September 30, 2013, 01:26:46 PM
the only person to have
fun. While knuckle deep in.....
sewer from the spill from
ancient overworked sewer pipes in
the catacombs under the city
of Paris where skulls stare
for all to see at
tourists who come to gawk
and rub the heads for
good luck and great fortune
for the future and beyond
for generations to come they
will never learn unless we
learn how to pass on
the secrets to buying and
selling all the things that
really count in this world
while preserving and keeping hidden
treasures from all of the
ancient libraries of the world
including the priceless piece of
crap piled up in my
neighbor's front yard next to
a rusty old impala that
was a lowriders dream machine
30 years ago but now
is a bed for petunias
that rusty away and returning
to dirt, ashes to ashes
besides, it's a Chevy, who
other car enthusiasts love as
a trophy car that's not
suited for dodge car lovers
but for people that settle
for another piece of American
muscle that includes the real
rusty chevs and fords that
wished they were like our
rusty dodges and Plymouths that
overshadowed the other cars at
the only local wrecking yard
for rusty fords and Chev's
that was severely over stocked
because nobody wanted to be
seen in a rusty chev
anyway. Meanwhile at the ranch
the cows were munching happily
on next doors prized geraniums
And chrysanthemums which really upset
the rancher's wife and his
Seven daughters who got their
feelings hurt by being ignored
by the happily munching cow
thinking they were also cows :D
when in fact they were
Fat chicks in polkadot dresses
to be used as scarecrows
hanging on posts outside in
all kinds of nasty weather
wearing only a rain coat
and flip flops on their
ears for added effect on
newest trends of accessory jewelry
for the optically challenged scarecrow
hanging outside without his hat
wondering where his glasses are
while the miss scarecrow looked
for them in the duck
muk down by the other
end of the corn field
where children of the corn
play silly games with the
corn stalk's by throwing them
into the cooking pot for
boiled corn seed oil for
lighting the lamps at night
to help guide them into
the dark cave where all
old bats, I mean hanging
gardens of Babylon were abuzz
with the honey bees swarming
to get away from the
people with the Smokey lamp
incase a genie popped out
like I Dream Of Jeannie
who wouldn't obey her master
by rubbing him with a
emery instead of massage oil
causing a burn worst than
a giant bull ant sting
where the sun don't shine
and shouldn't be scratched because
it could cause a infectious
smile on the bystanders faces
who really like to watch
tourists with bull ant stings
where the sun don't shine
Who is that masked man?
could it possibly be Zorro?
have we turned this into answer the question with a question?
are you asking a question?
Has this thread ben hijacked?
Or has ben been hijacked?
:lol: yes, when he went to
scratch his nuts one was
still on holidays with no
mumps to be found by
any body close enough to
find any gold with a
pick and shovel is worthy
as long as we find
a place to bunk down
deep under ground to dig
up our heels and bootscoot
or boogie the night away
at least until the whiskey
went dry and the women
went back to there husbands
who were home knitting socks
for the squirrels this winter
because the cold temp. reached
dinner time, be back soon :wave:
under their fluffy fur and
turned their squirrel nuts blue
so to prevent them from
falling off ,they had to
blow really really hard through
a straw to get the
balloon to inflate big enough
so we could sail off into
the sunset over the clear
turquoise sea, home to some
of the rarest creatures
from outer space that hide
among the Mayan ruins of
Washington state disguised as strange
extinct volcanic mountain plateaus of
a long lost world where
no man dared to walk
on the moon after Armstrong
said his world famous words
........I've got an itch, help!
my groin is on fire
from those nasty crabs that
I caught being with a
hooker from a livestock farm
running like animals in heat
on a cold winter's day
whistling Dixie to the thumping
mump humped by a big
cow grazing in the grasslands
totally unprepared what happened next
when a big bull walked
across the parted sea and
started to shake the ground
good nite :wave:
with a thunderous stamping of
:wave:
feet, can't reach the scratch...
or thump the mump because
the bull was a steer
and had no balls required
to play rugby but had
the makings of a good
pair of patent leather shoes
elevated 3 inches so they
add height as well as
intimidate to scare off other
wannabe basket ball players lining
with cheerleaders playing rugby nude
wearing only coconut bras and
fig leafs down on their
huge size 11 feet that
stop them from falling over
in strong winds and squalls
letting their hair flow like
jungle vines twisting and turning
while monkeys swing around looking
for paddles and someone to
throw their wet poo at
through the bars of their
prison confinement high in the
tower of London where they
could not hear them yell
while abseiling through the night
playing Twister with the other
love monkeys getting off using
and abusing each other while
all the little children were
egging them on to fight
and bite and roll around
instead of sleeping soundly in
little boxes made special for
wrapping up Christmas presents so
the monkeys missed out again
because of the bad little
brat who wouldn't let them
play with their toy legos
to make giant anacondas that
was over six feet long
and ready to swallow anything
like little mean monkeys with
love in their hearts for
evil things that monkeys do
while the lady monkeys show
aunt gladis around the new
cave and cook her dinner
banana bread again how yummy
that was without nuts and
berries because those naughty monkeys
hid them in their butt
so as to make sure
no body took their prized
cow to market and sold
milkshakes to the crowd at
as a profit because he
used cheap flavours that tasted
like crap, but it was
just as well because no-one
wanted to pay that price
today after realising yesterday was
washing day and they'd all
don't forget tomorrow is daylight savings day :yesnod:
have to grin and bare
whoopee!
children for the good of
you don't sound enthused
:rofl:
mankind even though the thought
of doing that thing with
the lights out is still
just so wrong because lights
need to be on when
keep losing my internet now and when it's working it's extremely so, I'm watching time tick by. bloody pain.
watching time tick by the ;D
minutes of the hours of
the rest of the night
:wave: dawg
is for sleeping so that
the day can begin again
one hour early tonight because
the time changes in Australia
...but not here till November 3rd.
because they're first at everything
thanks dawg, i'm one month too early
making us leaders to be
followed by us damn Yankees
reckoned with as long as its
over in less than three
hours with a break for
changing the mop water with
fresh suds for soaping up
the school rooms and the
cheerleaders after cheerleading squad practice
where they left their panties
no one knows not even
the boys that removed them
good nite :wave:
because they were all blindfolded
for more practice at the
:wave: night
legionnaire's outpost in south Sudan
:wave:
were play can be bad
and water very scarce but
the night life is great
as long as you don't fall asleep
in the middle of the
cheese sandwich filled with pickles
hello? :scope:
hola`
Served with a side of chips
and a dollop of spinach
without vinegar or salt but
plenty of mustard for added
spice, but was too hot
so started a fire and the fire brigade had to come and put it out.
it's ok, I did it in 25 words or less. :icon_smile_big:
But, they forgot to look
:2thumbs:
1, under 2, the 3, bed 4, for 5, the
boogey man that was waiting
to gobble up all the
dust bunnies and right socks
that were laying under the
bed from where they were
suppost to be kept in
a chest of drawers but
the little dirty monkeys played
hide and seek in the drawers
with torn pink panties and
stockings on their heads so
no one could see them
when they threw poo at
the fan to see what
happens when it flys threw
the keyhole and out into
the eye of the spy
who came for dinner and
looked in through the keyhole
to see shit flying everywhere
because it hit the fan
belt and stopped dead without
making any noise or sign
of recovering any time soon
from the non fatal fall
from Olympus where zeus was
washing his draws because it's
Sunday and clean ones are needed for church
where he was giving a
head job to Adonis who welcomed him with open arms (or something)
and a nod of his
dingle dangle and great anticipation
he was sweating like a
man who was about to
come down from a high
fever which might have killed
a brown dog but he
jump up and started to
jerk around the room like
he had ants in his
glass jar instead of fireflies
which meant that later he
couldn't see where he was
sticking his fingers which meant
they came out brown instead
and stank to high heaven
like digested food with bits
of cotton balls dangling from
brown kite string soaked with
kerosene for easy ignition if
lighter fluid and aflame so
dam slow pos server sux
Quote from: polywideblock on October 06, 2013, 01:37:51 AM
dam slow pos server sux
tell me about it. it drives me nuts. and I'm paying $40.00 a month for it.
the fire brigade can earn
their keep putting out spot
the cat pics that someone
burns in frustration at no
other option but to watch
burning pussies on the page
of their playboy magazine centerfold
evidence of no vetting of
the photographers who take these
girls to places that no
one really knows what goes
up must come down otherwise
let's change the sheets before
the honeymoon couple get down
being same sex couple because
the women were on strike
demanding that men let them
out of the kitchen ocassionally
after they clean the dishes
with a lick of their
towel wrapped tightly around their
heads like turbins giving them
hat hair resembling 50's style
looking absurd in modern day
where girls are wearing their
underwear on the outside and
showing the tag that reads
"I'm cheap" for all to
ask, "how much for that
"or is it free today?"
It's on me, I'm wearing
nothing underneath this thin layer
of eatable panties that tastes
remotely like it should so
stay away from the green
ones because they taste like
chicken smother in brown muck
nuggets from the corner store
served with chips and diet
Coke and a can of
worms to fish down by
the Great Salt Lake but
no fish could survive there
, only brine shrimp in the
form of sea monkeys sold
in a glass with a
a paddle in case they try
to play ping pong on
one of the tall ships
that sailed around their glass
of Dimple and some chocolate's
trying to avoid dangerous iceblocks
waiting up around the bend
in that lovely CCR song
played down on the corner
for money to get a
dancing monkey with a cup
to assist in attracting more
city folks to donate for
the monkeys retirement benefit for
a new yachting experience across
the Timor Sea to visit
their long lost monkey friends
that was shipwrecked and stranded
on a deserted island far
from any human life form
living solely on coconut milk
and sharing with the brothers
in arms living on the
good ship lollipop that's approaching
the long wooden pier to
moor so that all can
be welcomed to the surprise
plank walking that awaits them
hiding were these headhunters wanting
to salvage the heads for
trophy's sitting on the bookshelf's
of the rich and famous
of the elite of elite
the one the only big
top has come to town
for one night only featuring
bozo the clown with his
dancing, tumbling dogs that will
amaze the little kiddies while
Zoldere the fire eater tries
swallowing long fiery swords and
toasted marshmallows on the end
which stuck to his gums
pulling out his false teeth
leaving him dumbfounded and slightly
embarrassed when he tried to
chat up the gypsy girl
and his gums got all
mumble jumble as he was
3 parts of the way
hitting on this girl so
she walked away and said
better luck next time haha
and then choked on her
feeders while she sewed some
sun flower seeds for latter
that day to put in
pots for the flowers latter
to feed Fred's birds in
order to keep some fresh
feathered flocks of friends so
dinner was only a snatch
away but the birds wouldn't
be silly enough to sit
long enough to watch TV
and wait to be plucked
was that a spelling mistake
where?
did you forget a few words ?
i have my five fingers
I don't think so...did I?
so was it someone else
OH yeah, I thought I was in answer the question............too many games going.
but what spelling mistake?
and wait to be plucked :D
by the mean old man
Quote from: polywideblock on October 08, 2013, 11:32:31 PM
and wait to be plucked :D
It was meant to follow your reply but Nut got in before me.
who saw a frog walking
ready for his evening supper
:2thumbs:
eating frog chow with his
friends from way down south
to fatting up his legs
good nite :wave:
for the french restaurant waiting
:wave:
for some super tasty frogs
:wave: night
to marry miss mousy who
had a thing for frogs
and wanted to live in
a nice wet swamp with
on a giant lily pad
waiting to be eaten by
a huge 12 foot crocodile
or the barramundi waiting under
the boardwalk till it's safe
to pounce upon unsuspecting victims
and rip out their throats
before devouring the unsuspecting victims
and spitting out the leftovers
all over the drunken hobos
sleeping off last nights booze
and throwing up body parts
for others to catch and
put back together in one
giant jigsaw puzzle that's hard
like spot the birds hiding
under the floorboards of the
old barn yard out back
ready to swoop up and
line dance all day long
until their little feet can
fly with the wings of
an big old jet airliner
with car parts finally arriving
and the work just beginning
to fix my screw up
and down the long winding
road to victory or finish
people will be really ticked
by the losers who followed
them into the grand stands
and wishing and hoping to
to find Dusty Springfield at
the shore of the river
did you look that up?
of Babylon, where Boney M
no I didn't
sang his songs to the
very unappreciative crowd who yelled
obscenities and threw tomatoes at
the undecided leaders of America
at the Boston tea party
demanding rights and freedom from
the press to be able
say their opinions out loud
without fear of jail time
where the gringo is staying
silent for fear of the
lynch mob catching him with
his pants down after having
fun with their bad wives
giving them all the clap
clap clap for a job
well done even though it
was done on their wives
behalf and to make a
dubious statement about his manhood
when offered to be fisted
in the fighting arena before
a huge crowd of big
arena buffs who liked to
watch gladiators get really hurt
and beaten about the ring :whistling:
and survive to earn freedom
from the emperor and his
and his weird idea of
a really good time for
all in the garden shed
having a party at 4am
cause the tarts look ok
in the dark when your
ready to mount anything that's
willing to let you have
a ride without bucking you
off at the first opportunity
is knocking at the door
hoping for some first class
seats to the opera where
the fat lady really does
burst out of her clothes
to the shock and awe
of the burgermeister whose eyes
would never be the same
by what was standing upfront
below her belt line was
her new husband between her
and the other ladies of
the night who were ready
to pick up anyone who
wasn't tied down and had
some jingly change in their
bum bag that they carried
like a man bag wrapped
around their left leg while
the right leg was looking
crooked from being hit by
an anti duck missile from
MoparManJim's garage where he builds
weapons of mass destruction for
taking out the little guys
that won't shutup and listen
to the man living down
yonder green valley where twilight
was playing on the TV
at all hours of the
underground railway station in NY
that was flooded by purple
mist that came out of
shaken cans of grape soda
and sprayed walls in graffiti
made of silly string and
and tinsel for the tree
that never got taken down
and is now covered in moss
and a haven for cowardly
caterpillars taking cover from predator's
wanting their silk to spin
warm jumpers for themselves
to weather the cold winter
up in the North pole
where his girl friend an
his wife argue with each
to his delight because they
wanted to see who went
first and got to ride
from his mustache and his
elf helpers would cheer him
on using pom poms yelling
and screaming and jumping up
onto the reindeers and pretending
that they weren't really elves
but true rodeo cowboys instead
but their chaps were to
long for their short legs
and caused them to trip
while running from the bulls
causing a rupturing wound that
split their Levi jeans top
wide open revealing the huge
empty space where their balls
used to be but now
Falling all thru the streets
of hell while traveling down
that long and winding road
to the land of Oz
where everybody knows that the
wizard makes fresh blueberry pies
that stick to your insides
when nothing else will and
given time can grow back
leaving you feeling sated forever
so you never have to
eat again as long as
you don't drink ginger beer
which swallowed undiluted will eat
the duck muk inside of
you alive and leave nothing
but worthless inners that nobody
would spend a dime on
while they eat chicken wings
that are cooked too dry
that taste like frog legs
served on a bed of lettuce
with french dressing and shredded
paper used for kitty litter
for the big tom cat
Stalking all the little mice
running along side the wall
so as to not be
noticeable to the big rats
that were looking for cats
that were looking for bats
that were looking for witches
That wanted something to eat
other than pumpkin this Halloween.
so they wanted something with
a little more substance so
surf and turf at the
grand old opry was not
on the dinner menu this
time so they left disappointed
and headed towards the golden
golden gate bridge to jump
THAT IS ONE SEXY AVATAR PIC YOU'VE GOT THERE!
up and down enjoying his
wouldn't like to see cartoons like that?
Jason, hint
manhood to the extreme, when
his mom walks up behind
him and catches him redhanded
with five fingers wrapped around
the lovely neck of his
pet snake that was named
in memory of his favourite
man tool held while singing
"God rest ye merry gentlemen"
standing wearing a towel on
his head like a turbin
from the hot sands of
the sea shores of Australia
eastern side where many live
in fear of shark attacks
because of seal island, that's
a tourist attraction for all
the family to swim without
a care in the world
and grill as late as
day light savings allows them
and they follow the rules
good night :wave:
because they're law abiding citizens
night night :wave:
when someone's looking but most
of the time they do
anything that takes their fancy
and let others clean up
the chaos that it causes
causing new laws to prohibit
the opening of umbrellas indoors
or wearing left handed gloves
inside out on your right
during a full moon or
a really high tide because
high water pants should be
worn at all times while
walking along the sandy beach
in case you fall in
dog crap left by rover
After eating three whole rabbits
that taste like grilled chicken
But didn't settle very well
into their lovely new home
that's haunted by the dead
because its built on top
of count Draculars crypt in
the mountains of the great
divide up by the little
cave under the huge castle
draw bridge where the mote
had swamp creatures with two
heads and seven tails swimming
in the muk with piranhas
nipping at their webbed toes
cleaning the toe jam to
everybody's satisfaction before moving on
down the boardwalk to see
the duke and duchess of marmalade
in their horse and buggy
gathering momentum before loosing a
wheel from the front axle
which had them hurtling over
the rail into the sea
ruining her dress and her
knickers ended up around her
thick ankles while the duke
found it hard to breath
from her puppies covering his
good night :wave:
orifices causing him to turn
night night sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite!
a lovely shade of purple
:wave: night
before coughing and spluttering without
coming up for fresh air
and diving back into it
for a second helping of
that breath taking goodness from
that newborn puppy dog smell
of a fresh hot lookie
standing in the back area
of the tiny smelly kennel
just waiting to be picked
up and be loved forever
by some very lucky sod
buster knuckle dragging yuppie lovin
love bug van driving dude
with a laid back lifestyle
with a straw hat tilted
at a precarious angle on
the tip of his nose
while he slept the day
Away in his new hammack
under the two palm trees
planted years before for just
Two dollars from Walmart when
they were just tinny seedlings
now their metallic trees
from which now grow amazing
fronds of aluminum foil and
and tinsel so breathtakingly beautiful
he would gaze for hours
in rapturous delight as the
sun reflected and danced off
individual strands creating a plethora
of kaleidoscopic patterns and colors
to keep his happy head
from going crazy like most
of his generation which did
from the acid under stamps
sent special delivery from Holland
to the surprise of the
commune who only expected some
french bread covered with butter
made that special way so
the town could come together
and have a very special
coming to Jesus meeting to
see god after playing black
jack and five card stud
on a 48 hour bender
wiping out the savings account
of the local social club
who voluntarily assist the needy
with push bikes and a
grocery cart for their belongings
My break is over...back to work I go.
so they don't have to
ever stay in one place
long enough to cause concern
to the neighbourhood that squatters
aren't allowed into even on
Dodge charger day except with
special written permission from the
caretaker who takes bribes for
whoopee time later in the
afternoon when most people are
sitting at a table eating
pork and beans, toasting the
skin under the hot sun
on the sand eating crabs
freshly caught in armpit hair
of the girl laying beside
a great big pile of
cow dung still hot from
the over heated sauna that
leaked out the side door
making all passers by sweat
from their nude bodies streaking
ochre left behind by Masai
last century when someone knew
the real cause of the
demise of the real muscle
men training at Venice beach
that were attracted to women
with hairy legs and a
moustache to match as well
as it can to the
jungle patch of a thatch
on English cottages of olden
times before wriggly tin for
sliding down the ski slopes
of snow lickety split quick
discovered quite by accident when
tom fell down the rabbit
and partied with the worms
to fish on golden pond
in the back meadow by
old rusted chevy pickup truck
in between the trees by
the overflowing liquid manure pond
that had all the best
smell of a rotting pile
of fish in the sun
surrounded by laughing hyenas and
vultures all waiting for a
piece of meat and some
extra yummy rancid fish slim
with some scales for crunching
and some bones for munching
to whiten their toothless grins
and hold in the drool
cause when the drool gets
going, the tough don't follow
the slippery trail left by
hundreds of mating snails that
passed each other in the
in the search for finding
the king of slim by
picking slim pickens as the
feast for everyone to enjoy
whilst really really drunk on
a pony trail ride headed
down the bunny trail to
grandmas house in the woods
next to the three little
hens playing a game of
twister in the nude for
the local church charity fundraising
which really raised some eyebrows
never having seen naked chickens
in quite that position before
ready to be BBQ over
a very hot smoke pit
filled with apple and hickory
to make everything taste just
like mom's old fashion cooking
for the family on sunday
after 3 hours of church
cleaning for the up coming
nuptials of the bridezilla and
and Dick Tracey after meeting
at comic con dressed as
Superman and Barbarella for the
the big ball at the
Wrigley stadium where Jake and
Elwood were due to be
set upon by Detroit's finest
bankrupt local rent a cop
as soon as he'd finished
guarding Tess and driving miss
daisy back home from her
spiked tea for two without
taking advantage of her spiked
hair poking up through his
convertible top so she was
pretty upset that her hair
y ass was sliding around
the seat with his hand
slowly sliding up her lovely
long legs that went all
fluid while they were being
stuck to the leather seats
by the hot California sun
while she looked for a
Q - tip to clean inside her
ear because she couldn't hear
anything out of her left
ear because of the constant
drama from the other girls
about who slept with whose
uncle dads or cousin Lenny
with the limp from over
the rainbow where bluebirds sing
and the clouds aren't cloudy
but instead are cotton wool
and cause a severe itch
when used as padding for
for enhancing her girlish figure
so people wouldn't think she
has no waist, but a
rather manly shape to her
snowman that she built by
candlelight only so didn't realise
her date with her best
Hen was long over due
and quickly rushed inside to
get her cleaver and her
spatula to flip the pancakes
to wrap the chicken pieces
and smother them in gravy
to disguise the imperfections left
from the feasting of maggots
sautéed with onions and mushrooms
and served with fried rice
to fill the tummies of
countless hundreds of hungry young
missionaries bound for the jungles
very eager to serve the
side order of finger fries
to the pigmy headhunters before
they got very cold and
went looking for somewhere to
to reheat them and then
go on to build a
great big, super extra large
spa tub to use as
a mixing bowl for the
dozen or so toasted heads
ready for munchies and snoozes
till the cows come home
unless they get very lost
from eating all that grass
way up in the alps
where the very, very large
boulder is about to come
crashing all the way down
taking Jack and Jill along
and what were Jack and Jill doing?
Should I answer that question with a question? Or just stick to the 5 word game? :icon_smile_big:
could you answer in 5?
what was the question?
just rolling in the clover
and not paying attention when
rover took over and gaver
fifty dollars worth of fine
that is about ten inches.....
of thick juicy beef steak
that can make it's gravy
with it's eyes closed and
not get any in the
folds of skin that hung
low enough to be caught
up and tied together with
grey rubber thingy's that can
get lost never to be
seen or heard from again
though a search party was
quickly formed and equipped, then
it's all fun n games
while playing hide the sausage
in the dark with a
cream puff instead of a
big juicy peach for the
fairest maid of them all
who really liked peaches and
cream cobbler with a hint
of that extra special seasoning
that comes only from man
sized super dooper party pooper
favors the same size as
a medium elsewhere. Meanwhile, back
at the ranch, Roy Rogers
disguised as a door , gets
an eyeful of Trigger undressing
with a big surprise for
Roy and the other cowpokes
when they discover that Trigger
is really a beautiful woman
with teeth like a horse
and ass of a cow
and hung like a horse
in the gallows until dead
but he did a dance
to bribe the prison guards
and now he really isn't
feeling very well and has
a neck like a goose
and a honk to match
and is now known as
the honky tonky talking horse
who shakes his bedonk adonk
at the world at large
for hee-haws, laughs and snickers
bars and mars bars too
sweeten up the honky-tonk crowd
for the promised good evening
spent getting gooey sticky stuff
off all four walls and
putting it in buckets for
a feet washing party with
a real difference so you'll
never slip on the floor
or the walls as now
you can walk on ceilings
with the extra sticky soles
free at Walmart with every
new pair of moon boots
purchased in yellow or aqua
with matching coat and pants
that nobody really wants because
they couldn't give away on
any day because the fit
was atrocious and the quality
simply put...stunk to high
heaven so no one in
Alaska wanted to risk smelling
good to a grizzly bear
and risk becoming the maincourse
for tea at the three
Flavours Bar and Grill for
wayward boys and girls who
fell by the wayside while
getting down and dirty with
Eskimos of all shapes and
rolling in the snow with
very happy seals celebrating the
release of Tupperware saving them
hours of hunting for food
:wave:
and keeps the Eskimos busy
:wave:
building igloos to accommodate everyone
coming to visit on holidays
to see the long lost
Tupperware -an Eskimo's dream ,a nice tight seal :lol:
Xmas tree stolen by Grinch
:smilielol:
and never given back to
Cindy Loo Who, who was
crushed by the grinches selfish
weight as he had his
body sprawled all over her
while his hands were everywhere
except where she wanted them
that at her age, is
no longer gotten for free
if it ever was free,
but she didn't want to
which is the usual excuse
:lol: so Grinch tucked his tail
into a very tight, little
hole in the wall and
feeling around very, very carefully
he found what he was
looking for, a soft fuzzy
sticky spider web clinging to
something he did not want
to share his afternoon with
or any other thing with
a mouth that won't stop
and really gets on your
nerves, leaving you wishing you
were as deaf as a
deaf person can possibly be
so you never have to
turn on any sound when
bored silly, then you try
to wash your mind out
and think of great big
hot dogs dancing with the
Fred's grey rubber thingy's that
no one really expects to
be so tough to touch
the places that it wasn't
meant to be touched in
that way by a rubber
duckie up to no good
proving you can not trust
anyone that says........trust me
and truer words never spoken.
came from the mouth of
babes.....that are.....well babes :D
to be treasured until they
utter the same words to
the enemy at the gate
who huffed and puffed till
a cyclone blew up and
put the wind right up
the nostrils of the arab
camel that was on standby
as fill in goalie for
the company summer picnic game
played on all fours and
extra small (P.C.) riders that will
Hit the ball backwards during
the winter solstice when there
small stature helps with the
getting of wisdom in Newcastle
upon tyne as the local
shakespearian actors club started rehearsing
for the Edwardian festival at
Somerset international airport where all
in costume are guaranteed frisking
by the eunuchs of the
Central command hidden underground by
customs dept. that were very
excited about being chosen for
special duty as the personal
Wine tasting testor for his
master that treated him cruelly
but that's exactly how he
likes it, the sick son
And Became increasingly infatuated with
wayward monkeys and their neither
coats of many colours when
they all died of smallpox
leaving no one to take
cart driven by the man
With the pieces of gold
to pay the ferry man
after being delivered to the
island across the Styx that
no one returns from unless
They know how to snorkle
deep under the muck of
the deadly ducks that patrol
the area for fare evaders
But yet receiving their very
own form of payment as
their reward for dealing with
the scum of the earth
that has ended up at
The galaxy on the far
far away from the centre
of the earth where man
:wave:
had seldom had a crap
:wave:
Load of money to buy
all the best bits of
hemi engine parts, and also
never found the source of
a quad turbo exhaust manifold
for their wiper snipper from
the online store. Looking further.....
down the rabbit hole........there's
a fuzzy white bum just
where you expect it to
be just out of reach
of any prodding rods not
worried about anything just hangin
from the neck until dead
a very permanent solution. After
a long and annoying chase
I caught that pesky fly
with a pesky fly trap and
boiled it up for soup
flavored with carrots and celery
making carrot, celery, and fly
I'm at a loss for words. :scratchchin:
Personally wouldn't make fly soup......
Well.....I have, but it was unintentional. I know a fly does not eat much, but it still should stay out of my soup.
Can you make soup fly instead?
I think we've all had a fly or two in our lifetime..........whether intentional or not lol.
If there's a fly in our soup, and it is thrown......would it qualify as flying?
As long as we are not caught with our fly down, it's all good. :2thumbs:
could it become a flying saucer?
who has soup in a saucer ?
I'm sure someone does somewhere, don't you?
maybe a pussycat?
would not want to be cleaning up after the pussy cat the next day would you ?
doesn't the pussycat clean up it's own saucer?
I know the dogs certainly do.
what was in the saucer
:slap: :shruggy: my bad was talking about the cat turning the soup into poo with a ffffttt added
Oh, now I am confused, is this the five word thread or the answer a question with a question thread?
Thinking I should go back to bed and start over... :icon_smile_big:
That's hilarious! One page of answer the question in the 5 word thread. :smilielol:
Don't know how it happened. A case of the blind leading the blind. :icon_smile_big:
but was good enough for
three blind mice and family
so every one was happy
and well fed on flies
to the delight of the
fisher men that owned them
till the cows come home
and caused a commotion because
they came home without their
bells or the udder bits
while dancing at the Copacabana
the hottest spot north of
the equator upon the vast
and unforgiving ocean that was
shrinking from worldwide global warming
or was that expanding from
the ever melting polar icebergs
that get used in drinks
to refresh your innards and
wash away all your sins
leaving you squeaky clean and
pure in the eyes of
the nuns at the gathering
of the sisterhood of the
annual boomerang throwing competition at
Cunnamulla for one armed bandy
-coots :icon_smile_big: that can't get their act
;) together for want nor reason
but mostly because they lacked
any reason to get off
to a flying start with
everybody doing everything for them
which only goes to show
you cant teach an old
dog new tricks unless he
WANTS to be taught which
makes more sense than any
thing I've heard so far
from anybody that burns gum
leaves in the summer time
in order to scare away
the bad spirits from the
gingerbread house belonging to
the national congress of all
the fairytales ever written for
the brothers grim by the
town council who thought they
could tell a better story
if anyone would just listen
instead of slamming the door
and running for the hills
looking for the end of
a very flat Earth so
the lemmings can follow each
others lead and jump off
the band wagon and get
intoxicated to their hearts delight
and mingle with the common
people on the village green
in the light of the
silvery moon on moonlight bay
to be eaten by sharks
and pooped out the other
end as a useful fish
by product to be sold
to the masses for ripe
fish chowder, seasoned just so
you don't get to hooked
on the unique taste of
what life has to offer
to the hordes of screaming
teenaged groupies that just want
the parents to leave them
alone, to do what they
in the back of the
truck, underneath the really hot
scratchy woollen blanket that keeps
prying eyes at bay but
makes them sweat like a
galloping horse so that they
slip and slide all over
and up and down too
which is very good exercise
if you're lucky enough to
to wrestle naked and sweaty
sumo's to the ground and
not cause them to lose
their loin cloths so that
you are faced with a
mind boggling episode of bare
gentleman's vegetable so you can
count each and every hair
uncurling them to get to
the whole truth without disturbing
the lurking angry crabs that
attack ferociously when disturbed by
probing fingers that are not
invited to the party but
show up just the same
normally gold wet and unwanted
until she changes her mind
and want to have kebab
from the take away van
and then do something strange
things with it that only
a sick mind would think
to do after taking medication
to clear up the itching
fire down below in my
very, very private area, and
between the toes as well
so that when putting on
that very special, tight black
thong bought specially for the
celebration of that fateful day
when a thong was first
discovered it was on backwards
and wasn't supposed to be
worn that way, and of
course not on your head
or other unintended places that
could facilitate catching a disease
or causing a red itchy
earlobe if left untreated for
the day and not wrapped
in tin foil like a
anti alien hat made by
Ford Mustang owners because they
fear the radio waves getting
into their tiny little minds
really, really, tiny little minds
and interfering with their ford
delusional syndrome, that resists treatment
even when confronted by the
ever perky vivacious miss mopar
and her high beams of
delight, adding her lower assets
to the mix gets confusing
and can be very exciting
to those involved in the
judging process of sexy mopar
a carefully planned and executed
affair that all agreed was ;D
brilliant, just brilliant. Then they
got sloshed and it all
got very, very complicated. After
sobering up they realised what
they had done, wanted to
hang their heads to the
best of their ability, and
tuck their tails to the
under side of their shells
to keep them safe from
small children that pull tails
and pin donkeys to the
tail that makes the big
fin look like its sheik
and rather attractive to the
uneducated masses of non-mopar
headwear on a cold day
Winter day in the great
outdoors called the universe before
The sky turned inside out
and the creatures from the
dark side of the moon
could roam at will cause
there was no one policing
the mad dog pound where
the cats ruled with an
eye for the condemned and
a bite that could change
the sex of any inmate that
wants a sex change because
he doesn't enjoy fisting :icon_smile_big: because
it take a really weird
super large amount of lube
to satisfy the boys in
the back room, and then
the guards in the front
would go home early for
a little afternoon delight. Then
return late at night for
late night delight. Of course
no one suspects their comings
or their going until one
accidently yells excitedly before calming
The dog sitting on the
prostrate body of the poor
Gent who shaved the inside
of his shoes to smuggle
Pieces of eight, and the
left overs out the back
Of the sinking ship that
the monkeys couldn't save so
They bailed water, screaming all
the while to bail ship
But, because they didn't know
it was going to rain
5 inches within the hour
they left their raincoats at
Magillies, two hours south of
the border down Mexico way
But each remembered their tequila
Later
bottle had a message needing
to be licked so it
would seal properly for sending
via sea mail :icon_smile_big: to the
other ends of the Earth
and on to the other
islands to spread they seed
to every and all from
the farmer market on the
green to the yuppie shops
lined up alongside the only
stand selling girl scout cookies
on the road out of
the big 70's van with
no wheels and a red
flag the size of a
bedspread used as a headliner
over the leaky water bed
that held water almost , so
the four girls swam in
leaky water bed water and
started to think about playing
a bad joke on the
driver while they pulled off
the piece of duck tape
wrapped around his mouth and
used it to wax his
back and chest hair slowly
making his way up to
the top of the mountain
where they all fell to
the bottom in a hurry
thus proving that they couldn't
rely on gravity to keep
their wings on , so they
went back to the drawingboard
and built a submarine with
a snorkel for fresh air
and bicycle powered for stealth
to sneak up on all
the nudists at the local
drive in when they thought
there was nothing dangerous in
jingling and dangling it about
while swimming in the pond
where the tadpoles were biting
the hair off of their
forearms before they could wax
lyrical about the marvellous feeling
that engulfed their senses once
the tadpoles had finished their
assigned duties before watching DirecTV
for the rest of the
story by the well know
football player that gets repeated
as though an authoritative individual
really knows what he's talking
about fooling the masses into
buying lots of useless things
that can't be resold because
The need for useless things
has gone by the wayside
Except by those who have
nothing and are desperate to
Squander their life savings for
nothing more than a cheap
Thrill ride on top of
the wings of an aeroplane
jelly inspired rush of sugary
Medicine dedicated to the virtual
and total obliteration of the
Holographic characters who were in
vivid reality while still tripping
Over their size 20 feet
that feel like there made
From tiny little blocks of
runny Swiss cheese that can't
be used to make fondue
Because of the awful stench
that would fill the room
with the smell of toe
Jam coupled with the worst
chunk of moldy limburger cheese
you can get your hands
in right up to the
green and blue thing growing
on his right ear lobe
that just loved smelly cheese
and licking the toe jam
out of used gum boots
used in kicking chicken crap
out of unrepentant chickens who
beat Chicken little so he
thought the sky was falling ;D
so he cried wolf to
the wolf who didn't listen
because he was busy puffing
and huffing.......or huffing and
puffing ;) so he was all
huffed and puffed out. Then
all he wanted was a
peanut and jelly on wheat
pan fried to
the bottom which
was nice and brown and
5 word :slap:
and full of strange gunk
geez, I diddle myself out of 2 words..........could have use them too, I felt like I had to leave off mid sentence.
that smelled very, very bad
to those with a good
nose for such things and
hightailed it out immediately before
the fertilizer hit the ventilator
Meanwhile, back at the ranch
after cleaning the fan and
disposing of the mess, they
positioned the fan to cool
the sweat from their brow
and other less open places
which have no keys to
unlock the garden gate and
so it remains a secret
that only on certain days
the admission is free to
enjoy all the pretty birds
that come to Fred's place
to eat while watching birds
flitter and flutter and preen
around wearing pink tu tu's with
feather bowers and diamante earrings
with a red striped bandana
to wipe the dribble from
the wet lips caused by
exposure to the rain outside
the hut made from straw
that was slowly disintegrating into a
I really have to go.........she's threatening to start without me.
wet mudding mess that smelt
:wave: did she turn off the lights yet?
remarkably just like mouldy hay
that smells so very bad
of rotten stinky dirty wet
raunchy, moldy, rancid, decaying and
skunky, fishy, rancid taters and
other special ingredients, such as
those used to make hooch
in an old bathtub with
a rubber ducky torn open
and a large, long wooden
spoon to wipe the bubbles
and clean off the scum
to make a scum sandwich
:puke: on whole wheat with
peanut butter and low fat
which means tasteless.....grape jelly
and some greenish mold to
add penicillin to the big
zombie eating dog walking with
an unusual gait that involved
using three legs and a
skate board with three wheels
and a cracked wooden board
instead of a peg leg
that made you trip every
time you played Twister with
the girl next door that
was having affair on her
days off with the big
zombie looking dude walking with
the very tiny little itybitty
pink tea cup poodle with
curlers in it's hair and
shaved areas that need attention
where the pink poodle licked
all the sugar from the
underarms of it's very own
Barbie doll it got for
it's birthday that was
really a Ken doll without
a head so it was
now he's a she doll
that needs help desperately or
more cross dressing clothes
in order to feel wanted
by Barbie doll owners who
who really prefer blow-ups instead
unless they're too tiny to
get much of any attention
and only stand at ease
because it is to much
hard work to keep it
upright in a locked position
without the aid of splints
made from old logs with
a woodchoppers axe belonging to
a wood chucker from down
under a rock that was
sticking out of the ground
was filmed with the big
actually huge grey rubber thingy
hanging like a used short
guy named Richard and then
all hell broke loose and
everyone was running around like
good night :wave:
the little ones and then
they all went home to bed
good night
and slept till dawn so
they would be well rested
and all pumped up to
Ring-a-round the rosie
with the local preschool kids
then moving onto musical chairs
with a huge prize of
a bucket full of jelly
of your favourite flavour just
for smearing all over your
very willing girl friend so
sleeping on bunk beds won't
be necessary ever again because
there's a king size bed
with a very solid base
to handle the force from
head board diving and backstroke
into the footboard from the
the motion in the ocean
causing tidal waves higher than
the freeboard of the headboard
attached to the bed where
the mattress normally goes but
was mistakenly left off by
the previous occupant who was
distracted when they were assembling
the cubbyhouse for the kids
so the kids would behave
but they forgot windows so
there were no curtains, which
meant there were no curtain
rods left to joust with
which meant the kids were
bored anyway and interrupted the
first ever inaugural session of
The Running of the Yaks
and running of the bulls
in the twilight hours just
down the street from the
fancy home with no doors
with huge tall white walls
that was really a mountain
white alabaster statues crumbled for
the building of the biggest
sand castle on the coast
of northern California next to
tree with the yellow ribbon
that is an oak tree
and featured in a song
about an old oak tree
that wasn't there when she
left but was when she
got back which left her
wondering ,what the f*ck was
happening to her and her
drinking was getting right out
in far, far left field
with the pixies and the
ball that came from nowhere
and bounced right into our
swimming pool making a big
impression with the double reverse
somersault which left it deflated
but fulfilled at the same
time and needing a smoke
afterwards which made it cough
and spit blood all over
its tissue which was handy
but soggy from the pool
filled with Baywatch model's filming
the hoff's next Christmas special
in Germany where he's much
known for his little fits
of laughter after drinking heavily
The Russian vodka that he
stashed in the concealed compartment
that made kit go WOW
and swerve from side to
side and then roll over
on it's side to sleep
for a whole week and
to miss out on a
dance at the palace held
at Mopar's on the strip
which had been rescheduled due
to unforseen circumstances that were
beyond the control of the
organizers of the event so
everyone was extremely disappointed that
they could not have fun
doing wheelies on street corners
and making number 11 in
without a toilet in sight
so a bin would have
Quite useful, but because they
are big enough to hide
behind some of the ladies
behinds that were a bit
below the knees allowing good
viewing of the very big
pair of undies needed to
be very careful of the
general public being shocked by
DC word game type threads
that get right out of
common sense and decency and
and need to be screened
for rabies and other diseases
in case they contaminate the
circle of life as well
as the outer perimeter before
joining the little dancing bears
named Pierre and waswas among
the more experienced of the
two and hashas :icon_smile_big: done plenty
of dangerous stuff like the
tight rope walk above the
8 inch curb that was
a figment of his imagination
but the puddle he fell
into was very real causing
wet undershorts and chaffing his
butt cheeks awfully making walking
difficult and very, very painful
and it was impossible to
come to terms with it
and get some relief too
because who can walk a
million miles with chafed thighs
and crack so they just
sat this one out and
licked their wounds which strangely
tasted rather yummy and therefore
started a rather gross habit
of licking themselves before each
bathroom run caused by having
licked one another instead of
wiping the other end where
oil was gushing straight up
from the freshly drilled hole
that people were falling into
because there was no safety
net thrown over the top
of the crowd cause they
were too careless by slipping
under the safety barrier to
see how deep the hole
would take them if they
tripped and fell in to
the well filled with coins
meant for orphaned monkey's without
a boat to call home
or paddles to get there
up that creek without a
hope of coming home without
help from the paddle store
being out of stock online
and everything else backordered
so now what do we
do to make do and
avoid the ferry man from
down by the river and
near where the baptism is
and close to where the
head of John the Baptist
waits on a plate for
viewing before being devoured by
only those few that were
game to sink their teeth
into something that was not
at all appetizing and then
swallow without gagging on the
on the stubble that was
terrible to look at, and
worse to chew without a
full set of false teeth
that can be easily removed
because they belong to someone
who will want them back
so don't mess with Texans
bearing gifts they don't want
to really give you in
return for a free pass
to the water slide park
on top of a glacier
which made for chilly willies
sliding down on his head
which gave him a dead
spot where his hair rolled
under his ears for aerodynamic
makeover leaving him
acceptable to the cold temperature
and quite a good catch
for those looking for a
good catch and live happily
with fried fish for dinner
on Fridays at Barnacle Bill's
do you still have them up in Sydney? Ours are all shut down.
seafood restaurant extraordinaire and BBQ
:shruggy: anchors
rack out the back for
ok, don't have that here either. In fact aside from fish & chips shops, we haven't got any decent seafood joints down here.
My mistake, they are SA based.
that deep south taste with
bbq gator and mixed grill
chicken lips and possum legs
for a well rounded meal
for the carnivores of the
Serengeti who were on holiday
round up to catch dinner
and a show with family
and friends and then catch
the three ten to yuma
for late supper with the
the sheriff to
get off
5 word :slap:
:slap:
with the cat house girls
that just love dollar bills
:icon_smile_big:
and silver dollars as well
but find then cool when
laid all over their bare
midriff when laying on the
top of a surf board
letting the sanding water soothe
the fiery sunburn that was
peeling very badly with no
sign of letting off so
buttering up with industrial strength
lard to aid the tanning
lotion in it's process to
nuke every cell in your
wet underwear caused by letting
the bath run over while
looking at the neighbor thru
the bathroom window as they
so slowly, so very slowly
grabbing the lotion to make
everything seem a lot smoother
while they were showering with
brillo pads to exfoliate and
help remove the dragon tattoo
from their hairy derriere and
was like scrubbing a carpet
with a tooth brush because
of all that thick hair
being lost from the women
who shaved to close for
that bare naked feeling so
so highly over rated that
nobody notices that somebody will
catch a chill if they
didn't wear their Raiders hat
and their woolly knickers while
selling themselves short walking down
the avenue because they haven't
ate since three hours ago
and are starting to feel
very sick by only licking
their dry lips making them
sore, red and very puffy
and very good for kissing
which can cause swelling in
other remote areas rarely accessed
and very difficult to treat
in case of an emergency
call someone who cares about
or at any time during
the morning hours to order
some new parts to replace
the older worn out parts
making us feel young again
with cheap chinese replacement parts
instead of cheap American parts
giving us duel citizenship for
mass producing the very rare
and desirable, tough to assemble
best built cars by Mopar
that have no Chinese parts
that was designed by the
people who built the first
gen Charger's still on the
run from the law because
no one can keep up
with massively overpowered and respected
high rollers losing millions in
wasting them on fords and
one armed bandits in casinos
with one eye that made
off with all the loot
that was left over from
the tattslotto win after sharing
the wealth with the tax
man so that there was
plenty of wealth to redistribute
to the idle hoards who
suck it up like it's
made for sucking, leaving nothing
for people that really need
to spend some now and again
to buy stuff like food
and ocean faring yachts so
don't mind me, I've been at it so long I'm losing my count.
you can imitate rich people
I'm like....which one am I on??????
who take it all for
I'm always getting them mixed up and the worst bit about it is that I actually cheat myself out of two words when I'm playing the three word game in the five word game thread.
But I meant sometimes I accidently make it six words instead of five. I have to keep double checking.
them, it is easier then
I scroll up to make sure the count is right.....part of the fun, right?
giving it away to charity
when there's 4 of us playing it's extremely hard to keep check if you want to beat the others to the punch. :icon_smile_big:
whose last name is very
can't type fast enough for when many others are playing
well known in charity groups
practice makes perfect :icon_smile_big:
giving millions away like candy
to children on a holiday
at Wally world having fun
tell me about it you've no idea how many times I press post only to find someone has beat me to it. It can get quite frustrating.
all the little people from
The Snow White fairy tale
with Mary Poppins and her
spoon full of sugar to
eat with her prickly pear
being careful not to get prickles
on the roof of her
pretty little English cottage in
the website has slowed down to a crawl for me, having a hard time with it
in south east Scotland where
mine too, good night :wave:
going to school is truly
an educational experience that is
unlike any in other countries
where it's forced on children
to fend for themselves at
state accredited indoctrination centers [schools]
for the obsessively controlling state
of the art head master
who had a problem with
getting his head just right
before he put his jock
friends to shame in the
who's got the biggest strap
weekly contest to
count our word more better
or be ridiculed by friends
knew it would happen sometime. go ahead and :slap:
for lapses in concentration caused
by too many different word
games confusing the senses and
senility setting in and not
a dam thing you can
do but play word games
and hope for the best
and prepare for the worst
read somewhere that word games/crossword puzzles are good for keeping your mind sharp. Soooo we are exercising :2thumbs:
as worse is more likely
Absolutely and it's important that we do. Although I have to admit some days I can't think of anything to reply with.
and inevitable, but delayed as
sometimes it take so long, someone beats me to it
forecast by those that know
I can tell by your post count! :smilielol:
about such things as the
compared to the almost 2000 pages of these 4 games..... :scratchchin:
On the other hand, I'm only online on the weekends.....
stomping of grapes for next
Excuses, excuses. No prize for seconds! :icon_smile_big:
celebration of the next new
if I tried any harder, the keyboard would burst into flames
harvest in readiness for drinking
the most excellent brew resulting
from sumo wrestling the grapes
mashing them very well and
hanging them out to dry
all wrinkled and faded like
40 year old paint on
a beautiful Charger that is
hung out to dry with
bits and pieces hanging off
a torn short skirt about
as useless now as tits
below the waist line keeping
a close watch on the
lactate dripping from the open
wound of the triffids after
bending over and grabbing the
carving knife with no idea
what she was going to
carve up first without making
a blond mistate or deciding
to carve her initials into
a slow moving moose that
walked along the busy freeway
dodging idiot drivers that didn't
drive Chargers, only worthless Mustangs
and equally worthless Camaros that
seem to attract all sorts
delusional people with money and
very little of anything else
with knowledge what a real
car should be and how
it runs and sounds great
that is standard with Mopars
if wound up correctly otherwise
you need to hire someone
to dress up in drag
strip attire and some big
red tomato suit with rubber
flippers to swim across to
the other side without getting
seaweed or other floating junk
caught up in his gills
and then he starting sinking
like the creature of the
black lagoon in the dark
with only a lantern for
enough oil to cross halfway
across the highway to get
to the other side for
the séance to contact the
the UFO parked along the
Rio Grande for a refill
of moo-juice and fresh beef
liver for frying up with
bacon and onions for breakfast
with a order of sunnyside
up with chips on the
Barbie doll sitting and waiting
for someone to come and
tear the little head off
followed by its arms and
trying to make sense of
such hatred for a plastic
teaset when china is available
with billions of cheap products
that can kill you outright
and wrap and preserve all
the Christmas gifts left under
the tree for next years
hunting of the Easter Bunny
Quote from: Mopar Nut on December 04, 2013, 09:56:47 AM
hunting of the Easter Bunny
sponsored by the NRA. Testicles.....
help when arguing with non
Quote from: polywideblock on December 04, 2013, 12:18:40 PM
help when arguing with non
believers of Bigfoot but not.....
with the flying tooth fairy
dropping off fresh bunny turds
for substitution of raisins in
this years scrumptious Xmas pudding
just like the year before :icon_smile_big:
and probably next year too
cause everybody loves bunny poo
especially when coated in chocolate
to hide that other taste
rich in protein and fiber
which of coarse is good
for 68 Hemi Charger owners
who need all the fibre
necessary to help regulate their
Quote from: Mopar Nut on December 05, 2013, 03:33:03 AM
necessary to help regulate their
verbal diarrhea when bragging to.....
the upset ford and chevy
owners who have been scammed
by buying over priced/rated
objects for no reason except
to be fodder for mopars
because they just can't get
out of their own way
making them prisoners of the
past stuck in their old
shoes now with holes and
big buckles instead of laces
being the latest in fashion
in 1492 when that guy
was caught moon dancing like
some sort of demented demon
acting as though they could
do the samba without anyone
paying attention because of texting
on the ever present IPhone
five covered in a pink
slime left from their shift
of feeding rabid dogs and
McDonalds customers who crave all
that extra special sauce and
floor scrapings which add that
spice to cover up the
overwhelming taste of used rubber
duckie, you're so sweet, rubber
sheets make baby oil fun
till your daddy takes your
paddle off of you and
spanks your little behind until
stuff come out of you
and spills where least expected
down the front of your
lovely new polished kitchen floor
for someone else to wonder
through tracking muddy foot prints
out the back door before
the wife finds your boyfriend
and keeps him for herself
until she finds something on
the TV to watch and
eat buttered popcorn and drink
vodka shots till the sun
shine and the cows came
making the bull very happy :icon_smile_big:
in the early hours of
the morning waking everyone that
would rather be sleeping in
on this cold winter day
but now that they were
all up they gave thanks
for the old cows joy
from the gifts brought by
a randy old bull called
Henry, who ran the herd
with an iron fist in
the bunkhouse in the outback
steak house down the hill
from the golden arches on
the dead sea where fish
fingers smell like pork and
beans that molded with fuzz
from the lower legs of
the skinny malnutrition old female
yak that had died last
season while waiting for the
last bus for Albuquerque to
see the rest of his
relatives for the xmas break
and to help build a
better mangier for the use
in building a better place
for the horses and cows
to mingle with the bulls
and the stallions whilst having
a gay old time grazing
on some ones "garden " resulting
in some steaks and hamburger
with special seasoning ready for
helping your hair grow thick
and luxuriant on your ass
so toiletpaper won't be needed
you'll need a scrubbing brush
and a straight razor to
cut notches into your leather
like hide to let the
boils drain and the hairy
bits dry out and straighten
the ass hairs making it
ready for plaiting into a
perfect Bo Dereck corn row
movie "10"
row row your boat gently
upstream against the ass hair
and down the slippery slide
to the other place that
can cause earth shattering tremors
to erupt in the most
vulnerable place ever known to
mankind and his lady followers
which could lead to something
big or great depending on
who does what to who
and when it's done and
dusted who has a smile
from their ear to ear
and a glazed look on
their skinny long faces that
says yes I am satisfied
with a real man like
henry the randy old bull
running around chasing old cows
who are slower than him
because of their milk producing
apparatus which gets in the
way of them running around
tying there teats in knots
witch sounds kind of painful
but secretly really thrills the
strange, short little people and
the milk suckers from hiding
in between the drooping teats
and the big long slimy
bits sticking up from the
middle of the short haired
carpet on the milkhouse floor
where dirt filled in the
the small cracks that were
left behind from the big
earthquake that happened last night
caused by the Charger's big
cam and headers that made
a sound that fords and
chevys fear more then the
big blocks from Mopar's fleet
the terrible sound of the
roaring dual 2-1/2" exhaust system
with twin cherry bomb mufflers
with cut outs installed before
terrorising the street with the
blown 440 built by famous
rodeo clown big ears McCoy
who graduated from Sears automotive
mail order diploma coarse in
eating Fords and $#!+ing Chevys
which was a popular coarse
among the smartest students who
knew how easy this can
be to want a mopar
instead of those other makes
that will not look as
good in the sun as
our rare treasured beloved cars
with exceptional paint and panel
work redone to perfection like
the day it rolled off
the line in St. Louis :drive:
for its new owner to
Beat the pants off Chevys
and fords to show the
world, who is the best
:popcrn:
:notworthy:
and Massively Over powered And
not to come back again
without a bag full of
offerings for the MoPar gods
who also take master card
with unlimited lines of credit
to purchase everything needed to
pay appropriate homage to the
high and mighty Dodge Charger
and other associated mopar cars
that we love so dearly
till death do we part
unless we're buried in them
or drive them into the
ocean off the end of
the short wooden pier by
the last house on the
beach front next to the
groynes and the breakwater which
will stop the flooding of
low lying under developed areas
where trash and debris from
the king tides often collects
to form a circle around
stationary cars and other objects
to rot and rust later
to be rebuilt by the
privileged few who restore relics
and preserved the finest around
fruits in jars while trying
to lock in freshness using
the lids they came with
covered with a layer of
pastry so light it melts
in your wet waiting mouth
and leaves you feeling somewhat
aroused with a tingly like
:wave: good night
feeling to last through the
:wave:
day unless you get breathalysed
by the unforeseen cops lurking
in the bushes at the
old train station next to
that stinking disgusting old outhouse
where they like to hide
eating there curds and whey
waiting for spiders to waylay
the cracks in there underware
leaving skid marks with their
unsanitary use of sticks to
knit a pair of socks
to slip over the end
for a warm and fuzzy
feeling while they were getting
ready for bed to await
a special delivery from a
over worked postie needing sleep
and numbly stuffing post boxes
full with Xmas cheer before
having another shot of rum
and falling off his bike
being to pooped to push
it back to the depot
or even back up hill
so he called 000 for
an ambulance and a tow
and called it a day
and crawled to the pub
using his belly to roll
a smoke while he waited
for Puff the magic dragon
to aid him in his
quest to conquer his fears
of walking in the dark
on a bed of hot
rocks while pissing in his
undies after getting the fright
from the group of zombies
that dropped in for Xmas
dinner to have some extra
-ordinary out of this world
pickled lambs brains from Jamaica
with some rocky mountain oysters
to eat raw as sushi
with seasoned cheese dipping sauce
and wasabi shots for after
noon delights and early night
heart burn that was caused
by licking something too hard
to digest so it just
passed on it's way thru
causing a goose like condition
that pressure spreads a pattern
all over anything unlucky enough
To pass in front of
or behind of the one
that is being gooselike and
spreads a pattern from pressure
in a very fine spray
coming from him lifting his
feet clear of the floor :icon_smile_big:
making a huge puddle from
the front to the back
of his well worn underpants
now hanging off one ankle
and so crusty, that they
resemble a Dutch clog with
special custom designed features that
allow championship clogging to take
them to a new level
filling then with such elation
that they lost control of
their faculties leaving them senseless
and thus leading to the
embarrassing incident with the big
spray from down below
their little tiny manly item
that was lost in the
zipper and pinched really hard
in the car door so
it swelled up and turned
a bluish green before dropping
off completely, leaving a small
orifice that doubled as a
flow director and control valve
while keeping his insides inside
and safely positioned in the
sack held in place by
clothes pins and bungee cords
wrapped around and tied tight
using ratchet straps and
some pieces of masking tape
which will fall off as
you touch it with your
joy stick dipped in kerosine
to make the end sting
enough to make your eyes
water and your ass pucker
or tighten up so tight
to make your nuts crack
from pushing too hard into
the sandbank after a long
night out on the town
abseiling down tall buildings with
a single bound and leaping
up the other side to
suddenly realise its the gutter
full of wet moldy leaves
that your rolling around in
to disguise your scent because
you've been rolling around with
your ex-wife that wanted to
just make sure you knew
she was a ex-wife and
not her evil twin sister
come to make whoopee with
your lesbi neighbour's sexy friend
to be filmed for youtube
so a million viewers could
see exactly what lesbi-whoopie looked
like covered in coca butter
and playing on plastic sheets
to make clean up much
fun another wild video ensued
causing a reaction to be
televised to the whole world
as an epic youtube vid
that aligned the planets and
received so many views that
world peace was
assured and everything
went back the way it's
normally all messed up and
in the wrong thread so
everyone was thoroughly confused and
posting at random
in the wrong thread and :smilielol:
now being on track we
race to the finish line
in our most beloved muscle
cars ready to show the
world,how great they are
compared to the lowly daily
especially if it's crappy Japanese
which it naturally is because
the hight gas prices make
them undesirable to drive like
a moveable suppository called prius
full of batteries that will
fry occupants like 600V grill
while they try to save
fraudulent "green" rules and regulations
Just to be clear, I have worked all of my life in the agri/forestry field. I consider myself a good steward of the land I am responsible for. Thus I hate the politically correct/enviro-masochistic/fraudulent "green" idiots. :yesnod:
that make do-gooders feel like
reaching for the blue sky
singing their stupid prius song
howling at the moon for
their forgiveness for hugging trees
and removing the splinters from
their perfectly manicured sensitive hands
after the vigorous rubbing they
had to realise rubbing hurts
where the splinters were infected
from lack of lubrication for
reducing excessive friction on the
member being rubbed till it
swelled up and looked ready
to scary old ladies with
an inanimate eruption and then
pretend it's the way of
nature and perfectly normal to
those who drive pos prius
and other inexplicitly strange contraptions.
like poly's witchy thingy :smilielol:
that would be appropriate for a few prius owners I have met
Don't know any Prius owners
me either do you ?
she has a pet vulture and a huge spider that ride the "vroom broom" with her
I've met a few prius owners......can't imagine being friends with them, can you?
I avoid them if possible. Arrogant, condescending idiots. My ladys parents looked at one.....salesperson admitted not one they had sold came close to the rated MPG. And in the cold winter temps here, they are terrible. People buy them so they can be seen as "green".
what else do they own but ?
a lot have a muscle/euro/jap car as well and the prius is just so they can say oh i'v got a prius and score points with the tree huggers
don't their attitude irritate you?
An example......fueling up my Cummins work truck, I overhear cuz they are talking loudly so I would, two talking about a new one. How great it was for the environment, etc. How people should be "required" to get old smelly trucks off the road and make them get prius's. Completely ignoring the 3000LBs of wood and tools in my truck bed that I don't think would fit very well in the trunk of a prius. Real geniuses.
Like an large festering wound.
waiting to be lanced by
a sharp spear thrown by
a spear thrower who got
out of jail to seek
fame and fortune with the
buried fortune that he was
hiding before jail to get
his dream car that was
still just out of reach
while needing glasses to see
the forest from the trees
so an open field was
clear as my bank account
which is quite common among
charger owners who spend most
of their spare cash on
trying to hide their prius :lol:
in the shadow of their
macho gas gasler loud charger
that is SO much fun
Quote from: cavemanno1 on January 03, 2014, 06:55:55 PM
trying to hide their prius :lol:
:smilielol: :smilielol: :smilielol: :smilielol:
but fricking expensive to buy :flame:
and feed. [gas, oil, insurance] :yesnod:
but in return rarely says
leave me have a headache
or no I don't want
perhaps say "harder and faster"
is this a day dream
I want to be having
[says the man driving a Hemi]
currently sitting on blocks because
it's better to have a
[Hemi on blocks then not have a hemi at all]
:rofl: :2thumbs:
problem fixed before it becomes
it's not the hemi that's on blocks..........it's the charger.
a bigger problem and then
hopefully nothing serious?
it can cost the earth
Nothing too major but everyone's on holidays at the moment so can't get any work done. Hopefully Monday.
see the "What have you done to your charger lately" thread.
plus 3 dollars and other
memorabilia left behind that fatal
and so very, very, tragic
Wishing your transmission a speedy recovery
dog day afternoon when only
thankyou.
dogs were out in the
open desperately seeking camouflage from
the blistering heat of the
noon day sun which is
could always drop a manual in it :icon_smile_big:
coming to an end now
ha ha ha!!!!!
in some parts of the
world where shade cloth is
as rare as hen's teeth
and hens teeth are worth
about as much as a
tits on bulls
which isn't very much at
at the moment so lets
getting it wrong again........have to call it a night.
keep it to five words :icon_smile_big:
in the right thread helps
:icon_smile_big:
or the medicine that keeps
the word game threads clear
of missing words making since
nothing else seems to do
but we sure have fun
trying to figure out what
crazy people playing word games
are doing most of the
Year parting 3rd gens out
while playing D.C. word games
to ease the pain from
not saving any year Charger
this year yet but we
can live in hope of
completing our goal before the
end comes knocking on our
front door while we run
out the back door of
life trying to postpone the
dream car but we're relentless :lol:
and perseverance is a great
companion to have when your
trying to raise post counts
that word games really help
but screws up the memory
of what the site is for
leaving the majority of members
I think even if it were in the lighter side, there would still be a following.......post count or not.
wondering where the post counts
or is it who counts
or is it who cares :icon_smile_big:
instead of getting on with
life and worrying what others
are doing with there Charger's
or playing word games here
and having a good time
without harming the ozone layer
until Spring to start up
playing with our gas guzzling
far more fun then playing
rusty Fords or crappy Chevy's
because mighty Mopars are fun
even to watch garaged up
but more fun to :drive:
treat them like they were
intended to be treated :drive:
which would be fun in
certain circumstances when trying to
stay under the radar so
not to get expensive tickets
for excessive loss of traction
caused by massively overpowered and
fully blown hemi head motor
making more torque than a
electric scooter with turbo button
on the walking stick for
old Walmart shoppers with expensive
custom painted Hoveround with slicks
,turbo with intercooler, and noss
for very quick shopping trips
during black Friday sale event
in hope of getting some
extra go fast goodies for
our beloved muscle cars that
need all the help they
can get to live for
a winning day to beat
for good this environment safety
crap that greenies keep spouting
which of course it's for
the environmental protection agency to
step in and say that
it's for your own good :flame:
that we want to take
your cars and crush them :2guns:
:2guns:
:2guns:
which will never happen as
we keep the right to
be buried in our cars
like kings with precious art
for latter generations to wonder
why on earth they drove
such enormous cars with motors
instead of flying around in
hover cars like we do
when we can't walk anymore
because of a severe drinking
and the heavy right foot
used to control the throttle
but now is up my
middle finger to guide me
to the promised land of
my dreams from last night
where babes ran naked in
the rain and playing with
slick wet puppies for all
our entertainment and pleasures that
is so much fun to
watch and interact when someone
waves them in your face
enticing you to do it
thing that you normally would
not do unless enticed to
by a lovely pair of
nicely shaped and perfectly proportioned
servings of ice cream with
nuts and a cherry on
the top of each mound
matching the shape and size
of your preferred mound shaped
of dog piles dropped by
small, annoying yapper type dogs
with an inspirational amount of
faith and determination to do
turds from one end of
the yard to the other
where we finally can see
them all lined up in
The race where they will
find out who can lay
the most girls with huge :drool5:
and nicely shaped and curvy :D
love handles and excess baggage
left at the airport with
the in laws and other
relatives who tagged along without
being invited or really wanted
to eat the second cake
that you saved for later
to pour rum over it
making it taste even better
later while watching some movie
about scary movies and laughing
so hard that I sometimes
blow cake chunks all over
the table and on other
pieces of lounge room furniture
making a mess so terrible
good night :wave:
that none would clean it
:wave:
with out rubber gloves and
soaking the whole thing with
disinfectant to remove the terrible
after taste residue from the
green cottage cheese looking milk
spray that was all over
the seat cushions that were
made of red velour with
shag carpeting on the floor
that now looked like vinyl
because of all the gross
sticky green stuff that matted
to the ceiling, and dripping
from the ceiling fan to
your lap while eating diner
and sucking face with your
skanky 3rd cousin twice removed
after she had just consumed
shrimp cocktail and grilled possum
and a warm sour milk
dipping chocolate cookie chips with
a side of seal fat
to keep the cold at
a very tolerable level and
slow the sugar rush down
to enjoy the caffeine rush
and while your up there
experiencing the very best of
all of the good stuff
floating around with the wind
with your head in the
toilet from eating too much
exposing your backside to your
partner that was holding someone's
chevy's key to run away
from the sight of your
presence,thinking the grass is
yellow from the animals doing
and eating gene manipulated grass
so they have two heads
and five legs, three tails
two udders and fourteen teats
giving green luminescent milk that
makes good tattoo ink and
top dollar paint for all
types of body parts and
exterior panels that just don't
wish to be stolen again
or dented from inconsiderate drivers
who think they own everything
and every one on the
Death Star where Darth Vader
had princess leia stashed for
the dark hours of the
Where's Fred been? :shruggy:
He was last active on January 07, 2014, at 12:20:22 AM
moon when all the auto -
see three word
industry were free of Bs
BS like bullshit i meant
which meant that honey was
well out of reach for
the average fast mopar owner
Shifting gears before he ever
thinks about honey on toast
or honey in his tea
to have with the toast
with beans on top like
sh!t on a shingle with
extra cheese to make it
hang on until eaten by
hungry mouths that can't get
enough from eating Zombies legs
while they were still kicking
their chops and drooling over
the edge of the balcony
watching ladies walk into the
the trailing drool tendrils swinging
from their red stick lips
while they thought about last
night's party at hooters bar
and tried to figure out
who they took home to
mothers because their drink was
spiked and their date left
with someone else that looked
just like her uncle Tom
who lived in a cabin
out in the swamp that
Polk Salad Annie lived in
brought up her 10 children
to be tougher then alligators
skin and meaner than a
junk yard dog that hasn't
gotten the friendly behavior memo
from the spca so carries
fleas and tics and other
less social unwanted vermin and
is dirtier than Mary on
Larry's old Chargers back seat
with a bottle of baby
oil in hand and tequila
makes an interesting night that
won't be remembered because of
aftereffects of too much tequila
so him marrying his cousin
Have you guys notice that there are 6-7 of us playing on these threads :scratchchin:
before waking up and realizing
The "regulars", plus a few that stop in occasionally. I stop in when I have the time......
his sister was with them
and their mother as well
while grandma cooked breakfast downstairs
while grandpa was out doing
his cousin Frank behind the
woodshed that held the years
of moonshine for that special
occasion that occurs every day
on the hour when the
new family member is conceived
by uncle dad and cousin
and their favorite livestock,Greta
:smilielol:
emphasizing the dysfunctional aspect of
man vs. man vs. Greta
showing the unusual combination of
a push me pull you
that is easier to pull then
to push but pushing keeps
exercising certain very important muscles
that keep stuff on the
stiff vertical plane with a
lot of effort and a
lot more luck using the
push come to shove method
or the bigger hammer method
and bragging who has the
biggest, hardest, long stroke hammer
head in the human race
but we all know that
V8 is great to burn
excess rubber off the tires
and make quick trips to
the video store, to watch ...
rerun of Dukes of Hazzard :nana:
and" the expendables "
plus "revenge of the nerds"
however,on nice sunny days
a walk in the park
with someone else's girlfriend holding
your "Johny" behind the bushes
could lead to trouble with
the girl's hill billy family
or the law if someone
had they way with her
and she was to young
to protect herself and know
that women are not slaves
unless that's what they want :D
but rear as electric mopars
bite your tongue don't even
bring that stuff up about
filling our mopars trunks with
broken chevy and ford parts
with an extra long extension
cord, that would only reach
up to the next corner
on the left hand side
near the tree with the
bee hive hanging from a
broken down chevy truck's bed
laying on top of a
1969 copy of playboy that
was purchased to only read
the articles :whistling: really honest to
God, it's the most important
part of the rag and
mop that was laying by
the bucket left from cleaning
the drag race loser's tear
drop and piss running down
forming a good size puddle
that not even Mozes could
part, forcing an alternate route
, the long way home that
took twice as long to
go half the distance and
go back to where you
lost that little silver thingy
that you thought you put...
in your back pocket but
you were wearing yoga pants...
:o and the "pocket" was a
spot that should be avoided...
unless you wanted to clean
but, knew you should not
cause god only knows what
what has begun to..
do without the tiny little
bits and pieces caught in
the thing, that started to
sag under load from the
excess extra bits for the
stuff that was deposited when..
your mother in-law sh!t
her depends and no-one would
Look in her direction because
she smelled funny, so they...
btw, made a mistake couple post backs...only used four words...sorry :icon_smile_dissapprove: which also leads me to wonder,
why there is no four word game? :scratchchin:
Plugged their noses except when
Good question
they had to pick their..
Nose hairs one by one
which is always tricky when
Your friend is guiding the
way, but forgot his glasses
And the tweezers are way
too blurry to use accurately
In the middle of a
snowstorm at night in the
Swiss Alps harboring the dreaded
cold temperatures, that affect your
ability to get a large
hairy mountain troll into your
grasps of your otherwise useless
and very, very expensive, and
well planned tent with a
good plan, but misplaced your
sleeping bag and have nowhere
to sleep, but did find..
a nice hairy mountain troll ;D
on top of the hill...over
near the tree line that
was very close to the
spot near where they pitched
a foot ball, that went
off the edge of the
cliff, which caused nothing but...
gloom, despair, and agony.....for
those that need to kick
the depressing habit of doing
it with a stranger in
the grassy field with a
with a bottle of wine
to add to the fun
so you do not remember
the not so fun bits
and can't remember there name
of the wine but it
tasted good with cheese and
a fresh loaf of bread
so why can't you remember
what to do with the
hairy mountain troll from last
seen in the remote village
chatting to the young man
a gold digger from Alaska
who hasn't been seen again..
probably thrown with the football
to be used as a
dummies for live shooting at
for the local basket ball
game shown on T.V. tonight
if the power doesn't go
out like it does everytime
something worth watching comes on
but at least we save
the whales ,but shoot the
people hunting them down from
the place where they still
ride on the elephants because
the elephants are too big
to fit thru the door
so they must be carried
around the side like all
of the long forgotten hairy
mountain trolls trying to sneak
in to get a shave
and a haircut, then they
might look more like common
folks that they blend in
until revealing their troll natures
that are like PMS plus
a bad hair day rolled
into buns that they carefuly
massage into place to look
like Princess Leia when she
kissed her little brother and
he turned into a toad
witch was then deep fried
for only its long legs
that taste just like chicken
but smell like a rotten
egg that was gone off
to the wonderful land of
muffins,chocolate bars and chips
right next to the Gym
where the hairy mountain troll
had a membership card but
whats up with the hairy
chest on some ugly woman
:lol:, did they forget to shave
That was random...was expecting a hairy mountain troll reply
or having a natural look
got bored with that hari troll guy
I think, that is wrong
but some men like hairy
beasts waiting to destroy
all that enter their domain
without a sandwich and beers
to wash down the undesirable
unsalted pretzels that they ate
by mistake while watching girls
paint their fingernails because that
could be the new fad
paying to watch girls paint
nude pictures of themselves by
rolling in paint and then
pressing up against a large
side of a barn near
where they dug up a
great big woolly dog from
the ol lady's back yard
that she ate for dinner
when the big snow storm
kept her indoors for a
long long time without wine
to make the hours go
by watching house husbands of
jersey city who can't get
any from anybody for free
because of the ratings from
the professional "wives " association of
the rich and richer kids
and their hick cousins from
the holler's of Dog Patch
creek over in the other
dead beat house wife of
anywhere anytime just name it
what you like or don't
means nothing to her, she's
riding her horse like she
really has somewhere to go
in a hurry and without
any change to pay bus
fare to the car show
to watch the mopars kick
ford and chevy owners in
the ass during
Mopars on the stripe in
2014 so they had better
wise up and buy the
brand that really counts when
all eyes are on you
because the awesome hemi sound
coming from that Charger can't
be ignored any longer because
it's superior over any other
and has a sound like
a screaming banshee with its
2-1/2" dual exhaust exiting out
under the rear end so
do not stand behind it
or you will get blown
until you are dizzy and
then the exhaust sound will
cause your ears to ring
like cicadas in the summertime
proving the point that the
exhaust is way to loud
but better then a fart-can
can ever be because its
well.....a ridiculous fart can
attached to half an engine
that hasn't grown up yet
but wants to run with
others, but has no legs
so horse power will do
nothing to help the situation
out because Fords uses ponies
unless they have broken legs
then their turned into glue
for placing parts on Chevy's
only to fall off again
and re-tagged as Ford parts
before recycling into Toyotas and
Honda's and back into toasters
so that pop tarts can
be toasted to that golden
colour when the scalding filling
oozes out of every hole
burning holes in unprotected flesh
where zombies gather to have
chocolate flavoured body parts for
dessert after eating some live
brains cause that's were the
main course with some wine
after being crumbed and fried
in human fat torn from
the dripping container in the
zombie restaurant kitchen beside the
deep fryer full of fried
ears with a touch of
kerosene for that added punch
unless you prefer it raw
which is the case with Zombies...
they go soggy when cooked
:icon_smile_big: and thats just nasty, sooo
they should be eaten raw
so, they bought Sushi
from hard rock zombie café
to be eaten with chopsticks
with wasabi and sake to
was the whole mess down
watching Zombieland II without Twinkies
but plenty of dry roasted
nuts from Bill Murray's plantation
so all that's needed is
a keg of dark beer
and some friends to help
To let this thread die!
but you know it never
will end like this tomorrow
if tomorrow never comes or
who's time zone, for tomorrow?
isn't your today my yesterday ?
Aren't you 12 hrs ahead of us?
why are we asking questions
to get the correct answers :icon_smile_big:
whoops
to the fascinating topic of
:cheers:
get your kicks on route
66 :cheers: where the fun never
stops and the road never
ends so its just one
One more nail in the
tin at ten a penny
but, if you only have
to buy two nails your
thinking, hey, why not just...
throw in the towel and
buy screws, they are much
harder to drive in with :smash:
T
hammer but stay put much
longer unless they rust like
a chevy and fall out
not fall out, just disappear
from the face of the
like last weeks pay check
where taxes are taken out
at 30% in the dollar
compared to 42% here where
the money is used for
people that won't work or
know how not to work
while scamming other people into
doing everything for them for
nothing or basically pennies on
the rare occasion they get
some cheese with that wine
they end up constipated and
having cramps being full of
sh*t so they could not
run like a deer in
the head lights, all skittish
hens do when faced with
a fox in the henhouse
looking for the right bird
just slow enough to catch
them cheating, playing a game
of musical chairs when a
little problem developed at the
local dance hall for deprived
musical chair players, and then
someone tripped while drinking some
milk through a straw , causing
a nasty straw injury when
the straw went in way
too deep, and curved up
and out his nose causing
SH#T TO GO SOUTH IN
a hurry when he lost
His marbles do to a
hole, where the marbles were
Stashed for the next day's
game with the kids down
under, but Fred never arrived ::)
making everyone ask "where's Fred"? :scratchchin:
but we may never know
if Fred=lost or hiding
from the fires and heat
coming at this time of
Has been much colder then normal here[many nights below zero, and that's not Celsius, meaning [expletive deleted] cold] ......easy to forget others are in the heat and fire danger.......
the year when everything burns
its their 3rd heatwave 40*C+ for days , as bad as black Saturday again :eek2:
we've got it much better on the coast only 30-35 * most days and a sea breeze :yesnod: not a howling nor'easter that switches to a strong southerly in the afternoon blowing the fires in another direction
just summer days in paradise the other end of the country is drowning (monsoon) :shruggy:
and little water to extinguish
Where I live......rarely gets dry enough for a big fire to break out. Last few years, we have had more then our share of floods though.
the mess that results from
smoking while sleeping and drinking
Cherry cola, that's just nasty
when spilt in your bed
because it will stain the
mistresses sheets while your wife
is just a bad memory :icon_smile_big:
now it's time to celebrate
and do whatever you want
to do to the one
that tried to hurt your
goldfish Ernie, but it swam
in circles so fast that
he died, head injury...;D...anyway...
he didn't wear his helmet
or his pair of gumboots
without his wool socks and
caught a really bad cold
with a horrible cough like
a smoker, but he's dead
wrong about using fake drugs
real ones are much better
, quicker and lasts a long
and winding road that goes
up and down depending on
which way you are headed
towards the big cloud in
in the sky....bye bye
miss American Pie
drove my
car to the store but
the gorgeous female clerk with
her high beams turned on
was rubbing up against another
piece of Perspex creating static
that removed her loose fitting
front teeth so that she
could clean the stains from
chewin baccy for all those
ginseng pulling people to earn
massive respect from the one
who earns the most money
who had dirty teeth, so
that she didn't stand out
side, was not dressed for
standing out in the snow
she had no boots, so
her yellow crusty toe nails
fell off from the cold
leaving only the stumps where
the toe jam was ready
to be licked from the
grooves left by the nails
by the foot kissing few
on Valentine's Day to show
just how dumb some can
be, to get what they
think they really have to
,so buy parts to complete
your Franken-project carefully so that
the thingy you bought would
fit where its supposed to
but, if not, you can
always modify it to fit
by hammering the part hard
with a boilermakers best friend
and some heavy grease to
aid in the insertion of
Ford's part into a Chevy's
guts so that the right
part fits the wrong hole
like fitting a square into
triangle which we all know
a hammer and duck tape
will fix the resulting tear
down by the back side
of the front bit that
torn open when someone tried
to shove a square part
into a round hole meant
for things other than having
greasy things pushed into smaller
openings that were made to
not open under any condition
produced from outside sources to
enter what's normally "exit only"
but Ford and Chevy owners
like it that way to
which makes sense because they
don't have good taste in
true muscle cars that are
made by mopar the true
and only maker of hemis
and the cars to put
440's or the famous 383HP
not forgetting 340's and /6
or 400's, 360's and turbochargers
on 4 cylinder 80's mopars
that I wished were on
had a 89 Conquest 4 cylinder with turbo
small block powered darts and
a 68 /6 dodge van
of all things to put
a big block belonging to
an r/t into this was
a big misstate or waste
collection just got real interesting
what could be found every
-where way back when is
being crushed every second of
the day making cubes for
new Honda's, Toyota's, toasters and
assorted beer cans and other
cheap cars like Ford's, Chevy's
and lots of door stops
to prop the barn doors
open for easy access to
the rare barn finds hiding
within waiting for their chance
to be seen again by
the privileged few who know
what they are looking at
under all that dust and
Pidgeon crap, spider webs, and
dry rotted tarps that don't
do any good now that
all that's left is rags
and some strings hanging from
the wing of a hemi
Daytona made from plastic and
real steel waiting just for
the right installer to bring
it back to where it
was in it's heyday in
the 70's when things were
going downhill because of emissions
but everyone was cool with
having less gas and paying
more for it as cars
for the simple fact that
the alternative sucked then as
a way to brag about
just how green you are
while saving a ton on
drink purchases as you now
have plenty of time to
chose your favourite brand of
beer in a mug made
out of recycled older cars
making it taste much better
and stay so much colder
longer to enjoy while watching
the sun set over the
Western shore next to some
local residents feeding the sharks
and catching crab doing the
hokey pokey while trying to
toast marshmallows, chocolate and some
were doing hocus pocus stuff
to keep those from the
underworld from being left out
and filing a law suit
for a get rich quick
lawyer to take it all
in a dirty pyramid scheme
to take everyone for a
ride through the worst neighborhood
in a slow old convertible
held together with duck tape
super glue and string making
making for a quick getaway
leaving all behind to pick
up the scraps and some
left over string that was
eaten by the local cat
and left hanging out its
rear end with some particles
dangling from the end making
a streak across the carpet
that just wont come out
no matter how hard you
get watching the maid scrub
with a French maid outfit
with her frilly knickers peeking
from under her micro skirt
showing off her best assets
To her new friend called
Stanley ,the box cutter from
the local grocery store by
the inter state down by
the rail road tracks leading
out of town to the
boat docks where the cargo
is loaded by poo flinging
monkeys that stole bananas from
the boxes causing the load
to capsize the boat which
meant wet monkeys with lots
of wet poo and bananas
a sure recipe for disaster
like poo hitting the fan
and spreading all over the
dining room table where some
ended up in the dinner
and people said how good
the new seasoning was and
it tasted like fermented bananas
:boogie:
with a touch of coffee
and smells of wet monkey
from a sewer treatment plant
smelling worse than limburger cheese
with a dash of a$$
for that added punch on
dessert time or the drink
will start to take affect
just before your wallet is
noticeably empty from buying everyone
a round or a shout
at the local sports bar
watching Canadians whip U.S.A. in
that game where they chase
the little puck with sticks
on that frozen water stuff
wearing these goofy looking outfits
and weird shoes with bits
of steel on the bottom
and bling bling on top
just so you know which
goes up and is tied
in a great big bow
to celebrate the 50th anniversary
of knowing how to tie
a great big bow that
doesn't come undone when you
dance with a drunk penguin
doing the cha -cha and the
French barmaid is serving drinks
which makes dancing much more
difficult in the dark with :dance:
your flashlight or candle to
be used to light your
way down the dark hallway
to the barmaid's room for
extra curricular activities and fun
only to find the penguin
was watching and is now
up dancing around like he
has permanent physiological scars that
enable him to think that
he is realy a penguin
not a trained pet parrot
that should not be hard
to tell because parrots can't
swim unless Fred trained them
in the pool in the
mansion with his beloved very
trained wombats and performing seals
that play monopoly on their
days off to relax at
the ymca or ywca to
get a fee meal from
the really good looking ladies
with crusty fingernails and fuzzy
black hair in their ears
grinning from ear to ear
because they can't hear everyone
or see anyone doing the
wild thing while cooking food
in the nude which can
allow anything to get in
from a hanging body part
burnt by splattering hot oil
and packed in dry ice
for long term storage of
parts to be found when
needed later in life for
prolonging the human race from
sitting on their hands and
hanging from trees while holding
the newest electronic toilet paper
dispenser that "knows" how much
you ship ( :rofl: ) your pants while
:lol: trying to emulate the worm
causing a brown stripe along
the carpet due to leakage
from the weak old diaper
worn till it fell off
and clumped up down in
the lower regions causing severe
diaper rash and things like
a real awkward walking gate
that left marks all over
areas not wanted marked, and
dribbly bits on the ground
attracting ants and other insects
which gets really slippery when
too many of them try
to be a sole on
a old leather dress shoe
worn by buddy ebsen when
he walked the thin line
between dancing and jed clampett
with Ellie-mae doing the
monkey in the cement pond :icon_smile_big:
with all of her furry
creature's watching with a shocked
and using one of those
all purpose, do everything with
paddles that help when your
batteries run down and stop
by keeping on, keeping on
trucking like BJ and the
extra happy camper who got
dazed and confused smoking some
carpet that he got out
of a old hippie's van
who had never cleaned it
from his last puke party
where the intire stash was
smashed under the padding behind
the love seat in the
back where the big screen
would be now but windows
or peep holes to watch
for feds looking for an
unconfiscated firearm that was a
smoking implement of a different
caliber with all the options
including a new Gatling cone
or a illegal snow cone
made from ice that wasn't
politically correct, thus useless and
summarily dismissed as irrelevant and
as the day went by
small things started to grow
on the mind of the
vertically challenged, thus short pygmies
would feel extra put out
not being able to reach
the foot rest on a
low, low Harly with chrome
plated double reverse overhead kickstand
2 wheeled well optioned car
No offence to H-D or any cruiser owner......I've grown to appreciate the breed. But in my young and dumb years.....that's what we called them.
that travels from 0 to
a safe speed according to
the Highway Safety Committee on
safe speed limits and other
useless crap that no one
can justify, but doing it
is just fun in itself
until you have to pay
the guy in the tollbooth
whose rates went up again
just last week so now
everyone must adjust to the
raised prices but they'll only
take more when they want
and wasting way too much
on needless tollbooth upgrades for
lining the pockets of there
brothers mothers unties and uncles
all in the family, uhuh
so getting a job as
a panty inspector looking for
counterfeit g strings for hairy
thingies like some hanging long
,way down past their knees
that some would call them
grundies not undies or G-strings
with white fluffy frills hanging
from the waist band leaving
loose strings attached like
tentacles waving in the wind
a little wet from some
recent accident that was caused
by rapid acceleration in a
extremely over powered dodge charger
that is normal with Mopars
which just make more power
then all the others and
have the best diffs to
resist being turned into a
comfortable viewing position for watching
old ford's and chevy's race
while waiting for the tow
truck to haul their useless
but powerfully comfortable mopar couch
upholstered in a "elephant" pattern
so everyone knows what broke
the sound barrier, or did
the damage to the tarmac
by laying rubber so thick
you could stumble over it
and the smell was so
strong it could still be
smelt three days later because
no one ever heard of
new and improved "rubber-B-gone"
sold in fifty five gallon
6 packs for that tough
removal of Chevy's and rubber
ducky marks in the bathtub
where fords rust worst than
just about anything else and
all the rusty crud has
slowly dissolved into little pieces
to be flushed down the
large toilet, and then the
recycling monkeys come and examine
what should be saved to
go to making Toyota's and
other garbage imported to make
the choice that much harder
and stiffer to do what
is really needed to be
done while keeping the big
round faced dancing bats from
prancing around and around the
floor and getting down with
the very best of the
other assorted performing things that
looked like they were doing
a very precise, well practiced,
routine that showed remarkable concentration
and incredibly timed moves that
rabbits and guinea pigs just
can not resist joining in
causing a commotion and attracting
small squirmy things to be
dancing under the moon light
before they devour their favourite
toe jam sandwich with some
added relish for extra kick
to start mornings off to
huge caffeine/sugar fuelled rush
On my 3rd cup! :2thumbs:
If I have more, my hair does this :scared:
so that pants are forgotten
and is very drafty now
on the way to work
hitching a ride with your
tallywaker dragging in the dirt
collecting fleas and road rash :eek2:
which make doing other things
with your hand more painful
because it was jammed in
a hole in the wall
and glued fast with maybe
the best tallywaker glue so
it won't come loose without :hack:
lots of screaming and yelling
while tugging and pulling until
something just has to give
way to other important things
so the wall was knocked
over then humpty dumpty fell
off his deck chair where
he was eating chicken wings
and watching the fun as
he was trying to get
his eggs scrambled by the local
professional egg scrambler who could
suck a golf ball through
a garden hose that would
make his eggs revolve in
oscillating manner that was very
messy and causing some other
stuff to come out of
the long tube hanging from
the wall above him leaving
the Kings' horses and men
ready to stick humpty back
together with super glue and
airplane cement left over from
the King's glue huffin days
before he found that ice
is really cooler to inhale
intoxicants through leaving one quite
small problem with the other
body parts frozen in place
making it really hard to
stand up after sitting down
and sticking to the throne
with more than a handful
of used paper filled with
left over frozen body parts
that taste like chicken when
deep fried in pig fat
with a serving of vegemite
on toast on the side
with a glass of orange
juice that was squeezed by
the local orange squeezing team
of semi trained monkey squeezers
who stole JB400 and Fred
and quite a few others
that could be playing Lego's
in the chat room of
ford's and chevy's learning to
build a better lego land
for all to enjoy while
leaving lego for others to
use their imagination to create
the next "new" Camaro from
the left over pieces and
trying to get a grant
steering wheel to fit this
model is going to be
a real pain in the
lego , so maybe it should
be made from a erector
set which would make it
more stable while lasting longer
due to the fixing method
of the nuts and bolts
so it won't fall apart
like ford and chevy's do
about every dozen posts or
every time someone sees junk
and compares it to one
of our beloved Dodge Charger's
which is just wrong cause
nothing is in Mopars class
especially those other two makers
that will never mean so
much to the faithful and
die heart of the Mopar
persuasion who only have eyes
for beauty and not the
huge amounts of money that
are required to rebuild those
Massively Over Powered Asphalt Rippers
that the wife don't know
the proper way to drive
a screw into a nice
tight hole used mostly for
nails but a screw will
be nice at least once
every four inches so that
the building inspector signs off
without a cash payment and
doesn't hold up the greatest
little outhouse in the west
where the local's come to
secretly leave deposits of various
trinkets made from precious little
extrusions that have been carved
from the rarest stones found
in the kidneys of overstuffed
cows that ate too much
and fell down snoring so
the milk will flow like
custard on a cold day
in winter without any of
those fancy contraptions for keeping
things in their proper place
to prevent blow out of
the very worn out looking
and very often over used
slicks found on the rear
of the old faithful jalopy
found in most junk yards
right next to the big
old wrecked and rusted out
moveable automotive pieces of art
that aren't Chevy's or Ford's
so they might be Studebakers
that look good even rusting
compared to ford and chevy's
that are so common to
common in fact and we
really like our rare beauties
to not have to keep
mentioning them on this thread
every time someone brings up
rusted pieces of junk that
should be left at the
junk yards to keep the
dogs dry when it rains
by letting the dogs out
you've just doomed humanity forever
as to what could be
the worst day ever to
grill road kill next to
the front porch as it
could easily catch the trailer
on fire and there would
leave trailer queens left without
a kingdom to be queen
of nothing compared to some
and everything to others and
to all a good night
wing is coming for you
so you better hide quickly
because you can run but
you can't really run fast
enough to hide real good
so disguise your self like
a wild man living in
the jungle with hairy apes
and Jane who calls you
when she needs a good
swing on the big vine
with a good grip with
the monkey watching on and
throwing his poo all over
the roof of the hut
to feed the flying squirrels
so to save there nuts
from being put in the
Fisher can of nuts sold
under the counter at the
Grab Your Nut's and Run
before the law catches up
and puts them in a can
of tuna without oil to
make your nuts inedible to
the cowboys of the great
trail drive from east to
the North Pole by way
of the great railroad called
the great east to north
known as the 2nd GEN
rail system discovered in the
secret Journal's of the elusive
sasquatch written in a language
that dates back to the
time before there was a
coal writing tool and a
desk to write it on
to let the future know
that sasquatches' were the first
real people who can hide
behind a match stick and
stand on there head while
singing the theme to Star
wars with a pickle up
in the air worshipping the
jar that it came in
and claiming Star Wars VII
was really good when it
premiers in 2015 from Disney
who will try to make
a smash hit this time
because the last time was
a big disappointment by George
the guy around the block
lost the knack for making
dingo burgers with the lot
of French fries with vinegar
instead of sauce like everybody
else prefers like ketchup and
BBQ which taste even better
on ribs with a side of
beer lots and lots of
grilled shrimp on the barbie
and a girl for everyone :yesnod:
to hang on to for
warmth and attentive company for
late night romantic moments when
they get to share a
little bit of sweet honey
in a very sour dish
to cerebrate Cinco de Mayo
by having a drink or
a shot from a powerful
canon to wake everyone up
from the nasty hangover caused
by butt chugging vodka and
shooting fireball's followed by some
12 year old dimple scotch :cheers:
while talking with the boys
about mopars and which is
the best muscle car overall
either a hemi or a
383 2 barrel with headers
:lol: where its really all about
cruising in these cars down
the local esplanade so everyone
can appreciate the beauty of
old iron which is way
cooler than any car from
today's plastic automobile assembly lines
that are safer, but lack
the style and class of
our beloved muscle cars from
a time that doesn't get
much attention compared to some
from earlier or latter in
time where the show must
have been really good for
the turn out it received
while being etched into the
younger generation's memory that will
live on as long as
their memory doesn't fade into
the sunset of old age
like mine has remembering parts
taken off years before in
stead of taking pictures first
because film goes off in
a new direction before going
out the back door of
the hidden passageway leading to
that damp bit in underneath
the brush out behind the
the out house around the
bend down on the corner
of main and second street
heading towards the beach along
the path less travelled by
the little round people from
the cold white icy north
where the mountain peaks rise
up out of the sea
revealing razor sharp edges like
the spikes on a spike-strip
used for catching really bad
dandruff from a really big
monkey that lived with Fred (where's is he?)
:shruggy: but seems to have gone
everyone's disappeared
possibly to another forum to
chase monkeys somewhere else instead
of bird watching in his
own back yard and enjoying
a tall glass of brew
while watching the interesting birds
try and hide from him
while sunbaking in the next
door neighbors backyard bird bath
strategically placed to hide the
newly acquired stainless steel grill
for the elephant powered beast
to come alive and bring
joy to all that see
into the what the future
might bring for those that
are prepping for doomsday with
containers buried in the ground :yesnod:
full of gold and keys
to the kingdom of the
under ground where people who
don't like to be out
or seen in public can
do the things that they
shouldn't been doing like taking
rides in fords and chevy's
while mooning the owners and
giving all a good look
before running in shame and
tending to their sunburnt asses
by wiping cold cream where
the sun isn't supposed to
shine or not caring about
who saw the sunburnt tush
with freckles and some other
spots marring its exterior surface
without hiding the hairiest and
deepest crack known to man
while scratching a itch under
the saggy left cheek of
the lower part called the
end of the world as
we know it or the
biggest show on earth which
is coming up real soon
after the rest goes by
then get to the good
section where the good stuff
is openly on display for
Charger wannabe owners to start
to drool in anticipation of
finishing the best car ever
from a long line of
fast and reliable transport for
the future kids to enjoy
as long as its still
around to see and touch
and not behind glass in
some forgotten car museum where
they don't even get started
or driven at all, and
they just get left out
To disappear forever from the
sat nights cruising at the
Local hangouts where they could
be drooled over and then
become a chick magnet to
attract chicks and other desirable
birds to drop some wet
tissues in the foot well
deep enough to bury a
whole heap of incriminating evidence
that could get you in
a whole lot of trouble
if you were found guilty
of doing the things that
you weren't doing to someone
who expected to be done
to themselves or tried to
do it to someone else
who couldn't bare to have
their tender bare feet tickled
or the toe jam licked
whilst have their toes sucked
and their yellow toe nails
polish removed and redone in
bright orange and rebel flag
so they could show their
DOH loyalty and more notably
have nice clean toes so
that they could enter the
hairiest toes competition because the
hairiest toes competition shows how
hairy their left big toe
compared to the right toe
of sasquatch who won last
nights beauty contest held by
Somebody with a foot fetish
that likes really hairy toes
to massage and rub in
whole tubs of brylcream so
he will look like a
60's TV presenter who has
hemorrhoids with long hair and :rotz:
hot sweaty dags hanging off
DAG Australian/NZ
a lock of wool matted with dung hanging from the hindquarters of a sheep.
his head into his mouth
for added crunch when eating
a snack with some protein
for healthy teeth and gums
and enhance other digestive processes
to form huge roaring farts
propelling feces at high speed
of rate outwards and into
the catchers mitt formed by
a soft cow hide and
elastic crotch in their underpants
to catch the undesirables called
up from consuming gas producing
methane to cause blue darts
and orange farts when lit
taking excess hair completely off
making for easy wiping of
the surrounding area of the
centre of his hairy date
with arm pits full of
sea weed like substance that
some people eat with some
vinager and oil type dressing
and some other tasteful little
tidbits thrown in for seasoning
that were crawling around on
her warts and moles that
had bite marks and some
very scary growths coming out
of her ears that looked
like fat earwigs full of
earwig shit just trying to
find a quiet place to
relieve themselves in the corner
where no one could see
just how much earwigs shit
piles up to cause a
wicked smell to emanate from
and through walls thick enough
to stop a dump truck
full of scrap metal from
getting through to make some
toasters and a new car
to drive until its wheels
fall off or replace with
matching push bikes for all
the pigmys to follow along
in single file like good
munchkins from the land of
milk and honey out on
a limb without any other
safety devices fitted to their
elephant ears that were hidden
under their hat so that
people wouldnt laugh at them
or make fun of their
triple overhand plat in their
own space occupied by a
horrible hairy mountain troll
named Bartholomew. Once he realized.....
people knew his true identity
he stormed out like some
-one had poured gas on
his butt and lit it
giving him an instant Brazilian
that felt so soft like
the inside of a cows
wet, slimy, snotty snout nostril
that was sometimes used for
blowing wet, slimy snot
:scratchchin: all over anyone that got close
enough for comfort causing a
I only had four fingers up at the time :lol:
fine spray that tasted like
some kind of animal waste
wrapped in gut and cooked
to a medium golden brown
to be served on a
warm hot dog bun for
the new world's fair held
in the year 1901 in
the under ground city of
the horrible hairy mountain trolls
that have guarded the secret
entrance hidden by some bushes
with little red berries on
and sharp thorns dipped in
troll crap in order to
spread pain and swelling in
Areas that can not be
easily reached when the prick
walks by and starts yelling
about hairy smelly trolls swimming
in the creek next to
the domestic intake causing a
clog of wet hair in
the drain with other stuff
that a Plumber uses dynamite
to unblock cause it sets
things off like shooting fireworks
into a septic tank while
waiting for the methane explosion
then running away from the
fallout from troll pieces that
are big enough to break
wooden beams into toothpick size
splinters to get caught under
the finger nails of all
those silly enough to scratch
their selfs while running up
from behind holding their privates
because the sargents were busy
doing other things for fun
and did not realize who
was really responsible for all
posting all of the pictures
of some good looking models
and hot mopars that is
restricted because of their horsepower
and door dimensions so fitting
and the outlawed wing on
the hood makes seeing difficult
to race other pieces of
rough stuff from other makers
that could not compete with
each other let alone with
Mopar owners who can do
amazing things with piles of
rare and hard to find
rusty things in a field
far far away from any
wheels to get it out
which is the reason for
it sitting where it was
for the long time until
someone mowed the grass and
found a wonderful field find
better than any barn find
where you chase chickens from
the next door neighbors who
have lived inside it for
six to seven years while
leaving chook poo to rot
under the cheap plastic tarp
adding to the sweat inside
of the football teams' locker
where pictures of nude models
to be hidden from all
the newscasters and fans that
would be shocked to find
that they were really women
who were on a special
ops mission to go where
woman should not be seen
except in a kitchen bare
of any electronic entertainment so
a crossword puzzle will do
in a pinch to ease
the frustration caused by a
total lack of anything to
work on or surf the
early morning waves for a
couple of hours and then
sit on the beach in
a beach chair with the
the sun turning everything a
bright golden hue that does
wonders for the Psyche of
and really soothes the soul
to the point that all
is right with the world
and you get that peaceful
easy felling in your small
fuzzy bit in between your
larger hair covered and smelly
from the lower part of
a really dead yak that
was left there too long
without adequate refrigeration to keep
it fresh enough to cook
if you were desperate enough
to eat "really" dead yak
seasoned with BBQ sauce and
left overs from last nights
party held at Fred's house :shruggy:
where everyone had a good
time eating and watching birds
when they weren't freezing as
the snow fell though the
trees causing the leaves to
hold snow and get heavy
and then fall off showering
the little people below who
were being blown away due
freezing gale force winds Melbourne got smashed
to the storm that was
forecast for the next week
so lock windows and doors
How cold is it down under?
and turn up your heater
down to 10*C(50 F) but wind chill in some places was -3*C(26.5F) yesterday with 80 to 100 kmh wind up from Antarctica .we have 4 lows/cold fronts in a row about to hit :eek2:
in your Charger or Road Runner
How's the humidity?
locked safely away from the
wet down south . sunny dry windy everywhere else 2 feet of snow at the resorts in the snowy mountains yesterday
crazy weather that's taken place
all over the world caused
by politicians hot air that
is in such volume that
is lighter than helium filled
balloons floating on a summer
breeze that so gently float
around in the afternoon light
begging for a gust of
the appropriate size to move
them in rhythmic unison to
form an incredibly precise movement
where the entire group of
lighter than air beings float
effortlessly across the part of
the great barrier reef by
the very tip of the
billebong rama lama ding dong
was the sound echoing off
the steep canyon walls that
lined the billabong and made
the gophers panic with fear
because they knew a dingo
would go fur them and
find them very tasty as
they gobble them down with
BBQ sauce on a bun
washed down with toilet water
which does the job when
you're desperate to wash down
a BBQ sauce covered gopher
nuts and some tasty kangaroo
spaghetti that goes well with
four day old weasel carcass's
sprinkled with a dash of
special seasonings that bring out
the true natural flavorings while
masking the true natural smells
so you don't puke before
you suck out the brains
through the nose of the
old weasel carcass's left on
a chevy's front seat with
the midday sun heating the
ooze coming out of the
end without the nose dripping
moisture from the maggots eating
it from the bum up
exploring every nook and cranny
leaving nothing for the owner
but warm rotten weasel brains
for that new car smell
was making him nauseous so
he plugged his nose with
his fingers, using his left
hand to pick the fur
to pull it up from
the sticky wet spot that
formed around the warm rotting
weasel who died while running
faster and faster until he
finally gave up and dropped
to the floor and went
to dream a dream of
things that weasels dream about :shruggy:
, living in the glove box
without a flashlight to see
what their doing in the
tunnel that was dug by
previous occupants of the glovebox
where the fuse box and
old lost speeding tickets meet
that were hidden for years
underneath all of the other
junk including gas receipts dated
on my birthday last year
which was payed for by
begging mom and dad for
the funds for a real
fun time cruising to a
burger king for a shake
and a whopper with extra
pickles and onions, plus a
ogling of the chicks behind
wanting to lick your lips
but knowing that you'll be
wanting it to go further
its a good thing theres
Sat. T.V. late at night
to occupy the mind with
car hunters international or how to
train your pet python to
eliminate the evidence of your
desire of playing with little
furry pets from around the
neighborhood, annoying yet tasty to
temp the python into rolling
up into it's stomach the
tasty next door neighbors pet
that had been keeping everyone
awake with it's annoying yapping
and crying at the front
gate wanting to be let
out to run with other
liked sized toilet brush dogs
to clean the world's largest
toilet brush dog cleaned and
flushed around the s bend
where little items like to
lodge needing a good scrubbing
with a medium tooth brush
dog much smaller that the
one used earlier by the
people cleaning the toilet with
bread and then making toast
for the masses so that
everyone enjoys some morning protein
with those extra bits for
super energy to start off
a good dose of the
spitting and vomiting to show
that some things are just
a bit gross to others
Not me, grew up on a farm
called city slickers tippy toeing
through sludge and muck most
often found in chicken coops
and those special burgers from
the fast food restaurant called
old McDonalds farm fresh beef
and 97% other stuff added
like all pre-prepared foods
found outside homes for sale
at places everywhere that serve
the worst food known to
the wonderful world down under
where the corner milkbar still
produces the pumped milk from
an old milk pail to
make homade thick milk shakes
with malt and melted caramel
that are ten times better
and guarantied to make you
think that you've gone back
to our teenage years in
a time before Micky D's
came out with the big-mac
and fake thick shakes made
from real cow juice and
other things squeezed from out
of the nozzle filled with
stuff that only teenage workers
work so hard to manufacture
even though the stuff is
unhealthy and tasteless without some
of that funny yellow stuff
called special sauce that includes
a years supply of msg
that could cause problems with
those that get eczema or
painful and severe diarrhea and
need to be in the
same room as sick souls
waiting for the quack to
send them home to take
2 aspirin and go to
bed and get at least
two days rest so that
you'll be ready to work
on the charger on the
warm hazy days of Summer
free from the freezing winds
causing very cold and bleak
thoughts that don't necessarily make
good decisions while restoring our
pride and joy so its
a no brainer to sip
on some whiskey and light
sugar free tea cakes sprinkle
by the hand full so
get them while they last
cause they will all be
gone in sixty seconds or
less depending on the crosswind
blowing over the South sea
from the north east but
watch for the funnel gunnel
which lets the smoke get
thick like a tornado with
some extra goodies that include
the things that go bump
in the night called creepypasta
the spaghetti of the dead
that's eaten by grateful dead
because if they don't like
meat and potatoes with gravy
they'll just have to go
settle for leftover pot pies
cold from the fridge so
don't complain about the maggots
because fresh meat is hard
to chew unless it is
well tenderised so just eat
what you have and then
worry about what you ate
after you have finished eating
and then discover half of
a grub under that last
piece of green moldy meat
that you thought was lettuce
but tasted like spinach dip
because it was pretty fat
on the fork and you
screamed "I ATE A BUG"
just before barfing all over
everyone's dinner and making a
few other guests to follow
by spitting red wine and
blowing chunks of last nights
grilled pork chops and applesauce
for all to feast their
hearts out and hardened arteries
are only just an afterthought
while pigging out watching YouTube
to keep the gremlins away
while sitting by your girlfriend
as she slowly deflates after
sliding down and removing her
plug from the usual place
saying "what a relief this
could have been really embarrassing"
because i dont know how
to put a patch on
my worn out jeans by
using a needle that might
penetrate too deep that could
put a very nasty hole
in your leg since you
didn't take the jeans off
in the first place so
now you've sown them to
the upper lip so tight
the lower lip just won't
release the wet stuff called
for when you have to
hurry before you release the
load that has been building
, so let it all hang
ten while you just casually
peel the stitched jean off
like ripping Velcro from under
an elephant so that it
can feel safer without the
sticky bit on the bottom
attached to the middle area
with double sided tape so
velcro was not needed or
super glue could be substituted
for that permanent bond to
any firm hard surface that
would hold well enough to
the ass end of a
Ford Mustang that needed some
some to find a new
less then smart owner that
doesn't want to go very
far or look good driving
a fast, reliable, stylish Mopar
knowing how cool the car
can be when you fit
the right wheels and tires
to give the car attitude
like no other muscle car
made by another brand can
produce the sound like our
very own mopar powered muscle
machine that out shines any
run of the mill muscle
wannabe muscle car from other
countries that look like doorstops
in front of salvage yards
with very big vicious dogs
ready to attack car thieves
who think they can jump
high enough to clear the
fence and then the dogs
with their pants hanging down
near their ankles so that
the little biters will enjoy
having a nice easy target
and being dragged hanging onto
freedom on the other side
until the zombie apocalypse happened
in the next aisle over
where glue is being sniff
by would be rescuers who
Find where Johnny Sixpack went
forgot what they were doing
and passed out while smoking
reefer behind the toilet block
using used toilet paper rolled
tightly into a short, stinky
spliff the really hit the
brain cells when lit with
that gallon of white lightning
freshly distilled last night playing
with the taste by adding
a filtering process that cleans
out the taste of old
moldy ingredients and flavorings that
don't go down to well
and come back up worse
with chunks from last nights
dinner date with blind dates
with all three blind mice
that sat around the table
and drank gin till they
passed out and found themselves
dangling upside down, high above
a pot filled with boiling
pitch with a bag of
peanuts to enjoy watching football
from the bottom of the
bleachers and looking up to
the regular seats for some
eye candy from some big
buxom wench with bright red
hair so long that it
could be used as a
horse tail and a mop
at the same time, making
a mess with soapy water
trying to fix a puncture
in an inflated condom that
blew up by someone called
Stanley and he wasn't happy
that Jill did not allow
the use of holed products
so Jill ran down the
stairs all in a flap
to pour herself a big
stiff drink to replace the
electrolytes she lost while humping
up the stairs with the
Snap On tool hanging from
her shirt pocket with her
girlfriend ready for more of
that strange yellow brew that
turns any life form into
the most desirable sole on
any tennis shoe worn by
the closest person when it
counts to have the best
Mopar in the area to
parade down memory lane with
accompanying tire smoke and engine
noise so smooth that makes
the vibration somewhat off-putting
and annoying and potentially damaging
to the guy riding the
bull longer than eight seconds
causing a rupture of his
hemorrhoids that caused discomfort and
a large wet patch which
will leave a stain like
a garage floor of those
with a leaking auto trans
just blown by power braking
and neutral slamming at high
rates of speed that sometimes
happens when out hooning around
wearing the tread off and
making tyre smoke for all
to vote for the best
big long number eleven without
socks for better traction when
waxing the white marble floor
in case royalty should deign
permission to roller skate in
perfect formation in anticipation of
the upcoming arrival of the
corgis and their owner who
won't straddle her horse because
she'd probably break her hip
leaving her somewhat at a
disadvantage when frisky corgis try
to play hopscotch in front
of her walker so that
she'd trip and fall into
the sloppy leavings from one
of the messed up jobs
left steaming by a corgi
and some maggots so large
they made the corgis look
so much smaller then normal
size and they smell like
4 week old socks from
a wet gym bag that
had been hidden for weeks
inside the girls rugby team
scrum cause they just can't
keep their hands to themselves
when it comes to scrums
where the infringement happened, so
a secret camera is needed
to slowly play back plays
that otherwise might be missed
while drinking beer and eating
biltong which leaves a pleasant
after taste that comes out
on the next mouthful of
brussel sprouts soaked in some
kerosene so it tastes better
when eaten with a bowl
of delicious Chinese fried rice
with golden fried deveined shrimp
washed down with a big
glass of unsweetened iced tea
that makes your mouth pucker
and your bowels explode with
deadly consequences for those around
who don't like the smell
or the spray of liquid
left all over their chairs
and up the walls leaving
art work made from some
organic matter looking like a
brown pudding with wet chunks
still dripping leaving a puddle
right under and between their
lockers making the floor slippery
causing girls to undo their
shoe laces causing them to
trip and grab each other's
training bags on the way
across town to get some
take away for tea as
the long hot summer ends
and things start to get
cooler and cooler for the
guys on the other side
of the pond where snow
melts quickly and forms rainbows
from oil in the puddles
caused by loose running streams
of water falling from the
man desperate to find a
raincoat as he really wanted
to keep his pink dress
from becoming tie dyed and
looking like a farmer's daughter
had used it to wipe
off the chemical liquid of
the concoction for bleaching her
bikini cut and underarm hair
left after the failed Brazilian
wax on her blond mustache
that the clam came with
a huge black pearl with
silver ring through her pierced
belly button and hanging chain
to hold her bits in
together while lap dancing for
small change to buy a
didgeridoo for the upcoming corroboree
to be held at the
back of Bourke black stump
bar and grill but BYOG
to the bbq pig roast
as there is no grog
being served by French maids
with frilly knickers that make
their many fans take notice
when bending over to do
what they do best and
the dust bunnies hate it
though who cares about dust
you if its up your
ankles while you grab them
during one of those awkward
drop the soap situations in
which case you'd best have
a back up plan to
back right up against a
shower wall so perverts can't
get to your soap-on-a-rope before
using it to make you
smell pure and ready for
the fun to come with
while others watch in horror
but clued to the screen
for the latest update of
shower room wrestling from the
captive audience behind the steel
safety screen to keep them
from grabbing the college girl's
who walk past every day
hoping someone would notice their
oh so long really brown
cookie bush hanging from their
hand bags as they saunter
in the waves of the
heat emanating from the footpath
of little red riding hood
in the woods where bears
use charmin to wipe their
noses and rabbits to wipe
mouths and twigs to wipe
on the ground to cover
their tracks while running from
Elmer hunting with his gun
loaded with salt shot and
looking to bag reds ass
hiding in the thick bushes
that haven't been mown for
a very long time with
all sorts hidden in the
deep dark forest beyond the
edge of the path that
lead them to the hideout
of the hairy three toed
wizard with robe and staff
to cover his horrible hairy
three fingers and a claw
for a foot that made
whoopee-cushion like sounds that
also had wet Hersey squirts
leaving a trail for all
interested to see and then
step in and slide from
a prone position that lets
them leave their dungarees at
their girlfriend's townhouse next to
the library across the road
from Fred's house where birds
Where's Fred? :shruggy:
crap on the washing regularly
:scratchchin: :shruggy:
that smells like some bird
regularly crapped all over it
with bits and pieces of
birdie num nums all over
.....and under, and in between
their toes so that slime
, that squishy, sticky, stinky stuff
normally kept between the toes
rubs off onto the BBQ
A new BBQ rub :eek2:
for added flavour that will
todays special :lol:
enhance the toe nail clippings sprinkled
on top of the
freshly toasted English muffin and
six words, It must have been too early :lol:
hot cup of co-co with
mini marshmallows floating on top
for a sweet treat for
that cold winter night with
the dog to keep your
toes warm and toasty with
the cat on your head
can make a warm pussy
and a warm pussy means
if handled right.....hot pussy? :angel:
Gotta be careful with this, you don't want the hair to get too hot and start smoking on your ......aahhhh....... cat.
which is good for a
interesting bit of exercise that
leads to a wonderful night
and a possible morning delight
provided you don't float the
boat, or maybe rock the
roof of the troll next
to the woman who ate
the farmer's corn next door
who now makes a sound
every time she decides to
itch her belly button so
she'll pass gas like a
young toddler that just ate
a bowl of stewed prunes
that squirts out every time
you tickle it leaving a
diaper blown out with some
overflow coming out the neck
and down into the lower
reaches of the big brown
substances caked into the crevaces
that weren't quite cleaned out
leaving a stain resembling some
resembling a substance that looks
and smells really, really bad
like what you'll find called
"politically correct", a stench that
resembles something found in a
very much used septic tank
that overflows continually whenever you
flush constantly over and over
caused by the verbal diarrhoea
leading to a nasty taste
and a need to wipe
or a nasty burn could
develop from unwiped crap sitting
on the outer hemorrhoids from
the centre of the universe
where everyone thinks they're superhuman
with a colon that can
chew, taste, swallow, and even
play taps on a trumpet
until Johnny comes marching home
then it will eat all
that dares to enter without
the owners consent and will
be totally destroyed by the
three pounds of wasabi paste
spread all over the front
and tucked into the crevasses
causing it to get in
where no man dares to
put his finger without permission
unless you use your magic
marker to leave a trail
and a map leading to
the nearest convenient exit for
a fast get away to
that place where bears take
raccoons and Goldilocks to machine
shop for a educated experience
on how to make larger
from nothing but water and
oats to make tasty porridge
that turns into something else
passing several obstacles and plopping
down in your lap for
the embarrassing moment seen by
all on YouTube caught on
GoPro hidden behind and under
the front seats so all
would not miss any details
of the groping that followed
and started the process of
charging patrons pay per view
and to get the big
picture of the girls playing
strip twister greased up with
your favorite type of sauce
(http://pictures.thewebawards.com/1000/32/Girls-Playing-Twister-6.jpg)
known as finger liken good
for a very good reason
that you want to lick :angel:
everything between forehead and toes :D
and enjoy every single inch :yesnod:
of something that's been in
close contact with twister playing
and very flexible, healthy, toned
young lasses that will do
anything for a big tip
pressed up against their moist
and oh so fragrant little :angel:
pack of wipes kept for
the afternoon delight with other
like-minded people of similar interests
that have internet web sites
that give you anything you
want and more then wanted
when looking for chicken plucking
and other "unusual" activities to
occupy the mind of budding
impressionable, inquiring, and imaginative type
just looking for input from
exciting and adventurous practitioner's of
high school sex education teachers
and highly erotic dance teachers
teaching our kids things like
how to pole dance for
a honest living instead of
living in the basement sponging
off their parents like a
million are doing right now
sitting on the couch eating
last nights left overs for
free and living on the
hand outs that they get
with their free phones and
other assorted must haves for
surfing the inter web for
those that do nothing all
but enjoy free handouts from
their benevolent betters that buy
and sell for the masses
and buy and sell politicians
at four for a dollar
and the price goes up
as they multiply like a
irritating fleas that will cause
a nasty rash in the
hard to cure areas that
remain in the dark regardless
of how strong the sun
is shining on the head
and reflecting from the shiny
front half that causes people
to close there eyes while
they should be keeping them
open when singing and driving
in the rain with the
top down and the windows
open so that easy egress
swishes by like a cool
from a glass of water
spilled in one's lap and
down their leg like some
accidental release of a fluid
which is very embarrassing when
people notice the smell when
it permeates through your tailored
suit pants and gets on
everything you don't want it
to , resulting in the nickname
of "stinky", and then it
stays with you for ever
no matter what you do
to rid yourself of stink
the dink better known as
the skunk will put it
to the perfect test that
will either result in a
nice success or epic fail
that all will see on
the news, film at 11
thanks to the ever present
24hr news cycle that means
everyone is a scoop reporter
that's reporting on everyday stuff
using that thing they carry
called a pen and pad
something totally new to todays
clueless social media techno wizards
who just tap on the
device and walking into pool
or traffic as they are
too busy to look where
their feet are taking them
until the battery goes dead
and they are hopelessly lost
without a device telling them
when to take a big
step of the ledge into
the twilight zone leading to
a parallel universe in a
different time dating back to
when men were men and
women served man without complaining
:smilielol: that was just a story
an enjoyable story to teach
young maids how to follow
simple directions to do the
Washing Ironing F*cking Etc so
that man could fish, hunt,
and drive awesome mopar rides
in front of non believers
so the truth comes out
about the Chevy and Ford
conspiracy to keep the mopar
from getting all the attention
at the forefront like they
deserve to receive and then
go on to parade around
the race track to prove
that their not just for
show and tell stories about
the good old days winning
and humiliating Chevys and Fords
in the traffic light dash
that really never gets old
because it's so much fun
to make the tires go
by-by real quick leaving elevenses'
all over the place and
making a great smoke show
to impress the ladies, plus
show who's the leader over
those with a one leg
, thus balance problems that will
show up on the ice
and snow to make it
impossible to stay upright on
on a single, solitary leg
without at least an outrigger
to hold on to and
some form of nuclear propulsion
on back to the future
next Tuesday when the cows
come home with a little
old lady leading them to
to fertilize her big garden
where she grows natures gift
to nurture the space cadets
with tomorrows dreams for the
landing on the moon again
so the greedy can get
a cup of real lunar cheese
and wine about the asteroids
on their own huge moon
that litter the night sky
with fall out from the
huge comet held together by
chewing gum and sticky tape
from the big bang theory
that wasn't mixed with chocolate pudding
I don't know why that show is so popular. It's ranks as one of the most stupidest shows on tv.
or vanilla yogurt chips without
I've never seen it, is it that bad?
little multi colored sprinkles, except
It's bad enough I can't stand watching 5 min. of it. I've never watched a full episode.
where the top meets the
bottom at the middle of
the back, next to the
front of the side bit
but lower then and over
to the left near the
, but not too far from
centre of the known universe
around the big star called
kim and her equally big
Ego waffle with bacon, eggs,
is a good way to
a mans heart, which is
usually parked in front of
his weekend cruiser so that
the hot and wet models
don't get hot and wet
without the help of the
ones that like to watch
from behind the bleachers where
they watch from the shadows
of the valley of death
swirly free with noses running
like the Victoria falls after
the unknown spaceship crashes into
the Okefenokee swamp causing a
mighty big splash that left
lots of frogs without a
leg to stand on so
there were many unhappy Frenchmen
did you see someone other than me is talking about eating cane toads :scratchchin:
all turning to drink for
I didn't even see you talking about eating cane toads
their nerves as they had no
was some time ago :yesnod:
way of knowing what to
eat as their legs have
lost all mobility due to
over crowding of the sidewalk
therefore having to resort to
picking a card, any card
and hoping for the best
seat at the Polo match
but the horses were striking
matches and playing charades until
until the keystone cops came
in the blackmaria ringing the
bells for all to hear
hard in a silent movie
premiere, which later
became just so much stuff
to put into a locker
for safe keeping
so, it had to be
kept warm and dry for
the young ladies to wrap
around their heads for that
extraordinary real live beaver look
that gets the bun wearing
around so tight that it'll
give headaches to new age
types that do not know
how gay manbuns look when
compared to straight man-buns
because there is no such
expression of artistic and desirable
camels humps that must be
massaged properly to bring out
the full aroma wafting from
the newly built pizza oven
in the back yard near
a rising river flood plain
making for soggy pizza's dripping
that's not fit for pigs
that learned to fly a
.......way after just one sniff
of that funny powder that
blew up out of nowhere
and made fools out of
everyone watching for the first
star to guide them to
the nearest Texaco, for a
look at the baby Jesus
and bless him with a
collection of gifts fit for
a leader of honorable beliefs
or a spoilt brat that
went on to use his
sister's dolls for target practice :D
and not with weapons either
which meant that all were
drenched with some type of
fluid left by pee-wee herman
that grossed out everybody and
made the seats really sticky
and hard to get clean
so they let it go
and it bolted away without
looking back at all to
shut the gate so that
the trespassers are kept out
and the wolves are kept
well fed so that they
wait at the gate for
little red riding hood to
come skipping by and then
all hell will break loose
as red is packing and
taking no chances as she
looks for a nice rug
to share with anyone willing
to hold the tail while
checking underneath to look for
flee's and other chiggers causing
a severe itching and rash
when rolling on infected rugs
making it important to spray
in a very controlled manner
so as not to miss
the hard to reach spots
that present themselves when least
expected and are so much
trouble, it's best not to
scratch that itch as once
scratched............the itch becomes unbearable
plus a rash that could
send you up the wall
and get infected and smell
like roses if and when
pigs really learn to fly
me to the moon, let
:pigsfly:
them eat green cheese till
full, then fly back to
the bacon factory where they
will be slaughtered, skinned, degutted,
and turned into yummy bacon
for all to enjoy while
reading the morning paper and
multiple cups of good coffee
to wash it down so
your daily meds can take
that much better affect so
you are ready for the
day ahead driving trains on
your miniature track layout that
takes up all of your
quality mopar time so now
you just sit and watch
the trains go around and
toot your own whistle as
arrange for two trains to
come around and give you
an interesting head on collision
just like Gomez Adams liked
and demonstrated so perfectly in
That's exactly what I was thinking of :2thumbs:
small scale, the explosive force
:2thumbs:
was out of proportion to
the Challenger in the movie
that was replaced by Camaro
then pulled between Cat dozer
just before the driver jumped
that girl from the store
and took her to his
sleeper cab out back on
top of Lover's Lane hill
and then in the moonlight
the sound of wolves howling
while he reached into her
hand bag for a mint
chocolate ice cream cone and
a pack of wet ones
to wipe the wet spot
left from the dribbling cone
that dripped on the protruding
seat adjustment nob leaving it
chocolate covered and minty fresh
but just a little sticky
until the dealer gets some
detailing done by the French
maiden with golden blonde hair
for a thatch down there
before she went to Brazil
so now all is revealed
even a mouse hole with
a back entrance for when
the cat is away hiding
behind the bed head watching
and waiting for the chance
to pounce on the unsuspecting
Jerry with his big cousin
from the country who has
tried very hard to be
good but sometimes it just
gets too much to control
and the bad comes out
and shows the world the
bright blue baboon's ass that
appears to be chapped red
all around the frayed edges
like a fringe around the
hemline of the bootscooting cowgirl
practicing her best cowgirl moves
on horseback to the tune
coming from the rear of
the shelter shed where all
the bad girls gathered to
dig a whole so big
there was plenty of room
to bury moby dick and
and whatever else you can
fish out of the ocean
if your looking for fertilizer
to grow seaweed for smoking
kippers to sell at market
at the fisherman's wharf and
they were very good for
filling in 5 word games
,crosswords and associated word plays
to run up post count
for those that worry about
such frivolous and ridiculous foolishness
[as I add posts] :angel:
as who's got the most
on an internet car forum
where it really doesn't for
any good like prizes or
privileges at the local bar
where one play quarters to
the slot machines and other
machines in the men's room
for chewy that tastes like
it should and not like
rubber like the other one
" this chewy tastes like rubber " scratched on the wall of men's room above condom dispenser
thrown on the wet ground
in disgust at the colour
of the used and broken
prophylactic tossed aside in the
usual manner to show how
good a spot is for
your imagination to be used
at just how secluded it
can be while dipping in
freezing cold water without a
fire to keep you dry
and in a non-shriveled
condition for the upcoming fun
that's planned and hoped for
but all depends on the
way others play the game
of spin the bottle without
letting themselves get caught with
the drop dead gorgeous teacher
by the drop dead gorgeous
college student wearing nothing but
a hydration pack so that
all interesting parts can be
seen and accessed whilst staying
hands free until the proper
time to get hands on
and experience the full, enjoyable
moment when you get to
actually touch a real big
end on an otherwise untouched
and unused tight and toned
new and still in the
sealed packaging that is called
for when the inspection takes
longer than it really should
due to inadequate lighting and
without the proper training of
work place safety and confined
to feeling your way to
the other end of the
playboy mansion where playmates play
strip chess with hue for
a piece of his rock
candy that he keeps in
readiness just in case he
runs out of boiled lollies :D
and little happy pills that
are called extra strength Viagra
but hue now has a
new improve pump to increase
the pressure in the implant
that was implanted in his
not so rigid third member
to help his "Sure Grip"
stay in the action and
to help bang gears with
the bunny of the month
that in his elaborate fantasies
still see's a twenty something
that in the reality of
it see 20m instead of
the sought after unicorn of
eternal youth that just seems
to be in day dreams
of days gone by and
not a reality for us
living with the drudgery of
normal everyday life like usual
where the grind of daily
feces we all face in
the workplace and daily lives
but persevere and tell them :moon:
to show the world their
lily white asses for all
to think the ass red
when another colour could be
before it got sunburned and
had to be covered in
medicated cream to help heal
the massive blisters on the
not used to the sunshine
that spot where the sun
never gives a bit of
a tan as it doesn't
reflect upwards to give it
the required daily dosage of
vitamin D producing sun light
to help grow medical pot
in the follicles of the
super rare, albino armadillo, which
lives in the darkest parts
of the cave found in
the space under the mountain
with the one ring to
take all comings and goings
and rule them all and
never ever get rusted shut
like other kinds of cars
that get rusty to quickly
like awful Mustangs and Camaros
that sometimes are faster than
but still no-style ugly
-er than a war wound
caused by driving too fast
during a severe hail storm
in the middle of Texas
at night with sunglasses on
with my arm wrapped around
something ,just what i don't
want at this time because
i might loose my sunglasses
while driving fast at night
making it hard to see
the street signs telling me
to go back wrong way
down to a beach party
next to lake placid where
where alligators grow very big
from all betty whites loven
care that helps them grow
to a cow killing size
and very expensive to feed
especially when helicopters are on
the site filming and trying
to be everywhere and really
messing up the ability to
turn blue at will so
they have to settle for
a funny shade of mauve
that is so hard to
get clothes to match, being
guys don't know what mauve
goes with as its a
female only recognized color that
doesn't know whether it a
actual color or just diarrhea
of mixed colours making a
big, huge, stinking mess of
a colour not quite ready
to pass the smell test
or the taste test by
those with sensitive olfactory devises
and weak stomachs that can
be upset by the sight
of mauve colored piles of
the kind you find on
the sidewalk not picked up
having been dropped from the
terminus that so much passes
through that its frayed at
the edges around the opening
resembling a party popper when
getting out of control with
all sorts of things flying
in all directions with the
fall out landing all around
before being swept up with
the leavings from the table
mixed with the other stuff
and left to breed in
a warm, wet, humid environment
and before you know it
mushrooms are growing in your crack
and up your back making
a very uncomfortable itchy feeling
when you lie on your
couch or stretch out on
the floor after a hard
workout scratching hard to reach
that niggling itch down in
the dark depths where it's
nice and damp so that
the mushroom roots go deep
holding in the large haemorrhoids
tucking them up close to
stop them dragging on the
log slipping from the uncontrollable
run away wood wagon on
the narrow trail leading to
grandma's house in the woods
while being chased by a
bear that had just done
what bears do in the
back seat of a car :D
when they want privacy to
drink and eat gluten free
being health conscious bears that
like nice firm stools to
use in various ways to
trick Goldie locks leaving them
where they are and not
usually found so that walking
your pet on a leash
was like walking through a
garden covered with piles of
hidden bear refunds that no-one
picked up with their pooper
scooper as they thought someone
was watching them and would
tell of their poop scooping
or lack of scooping the
poop with out a scooper
proving never leave home without
a plastic baggy to put
your scooped poop into and
something to scoop the poop
called a pooper scooper attachment
better than your fingers for
squeezing it into nicely sized
fake fudge for the local
people you want to fool
on Halloween so that next
door seems a better place
to go looking for a
delicious sweet treat, but end
sweets don't count as a
way to get something with
out the usual hoops to
jump thru before you can
enjoy it for what it
was designed to be used
for , if your ever in
one of those competitions with
people doing stupid things for
fun and fame from youtube
where the weirder the better
seems to be the requriement
for fame and fortune
and the pursuit of happiness
of those watching the spectacle
with instant replay if needed
just a click away from
jumping off of the nearest
tall building just for kicks
to see who will notice
the falling fool with the
red cape pretending to be
flying but only seconds from
getting a kiss from the
the sidewalk and then sweet
pain to wake you up
to the forces of gravity
if you do wake up
in a hospital bed then
your still alive and ready
for that enema promised by
your 300lb transgender night nurse
what a thrilling experience for
some, a nightmare for me
especially when the enema starts
with a shave and massage
to set the mood and
get you all lubed up
and ready for a fantastic
time with your new beau
down to the newest place
for lovers of the big
super sized and specially textured
latex rubber fish suits for
those into latex rubber suits
and there use in the
underwater exploration of unsolved mysteries
in septic tanks all over
backyards across the country and
showing the results on MTV
where the glow at night
in bedrooms belonging to the
side show freaks and carnies
can be seen for 10 feet
from outside their windows by
police cruisers shining their spotlights
on people hiding in the
dark nooks and crannies of
the yard seeing what they
can see peeking into the
bed room window of the
noisy mystery people who make
those funny films about all
sorts of things using a
old vhs camera and a
worn out tape that squeaks
in just such a way
to mimic the sounds of
the greater spangled drongo which
is different from spangled drongo
in other parts of the
spangled drongo's naturaly occuring habitat
were all the drongo's come
equiped with plum crazy purple
and iridescent green plumage which
have gracefully faded to a
dull brown colour blending in
like an old sailor's tattoo
so no one notices when
they sneak into little orifices
to stash small shiny stones
stolen by the nefarious crows
from the equally nefarious little
thingamy jigits that excrete them
With little pain and agony
because they are adequately lubed
to spit those suckers out
Because they taste like slippery
nose oysters seasoned with lots
Of rubber smoke from burnouts
which makes them taste like
Chewing on a bald Goodyear
salesman dipped in last years
dredging ship bilge water from
the local storm water canal
Looking for something that he
lost during last nights drunken
escapade, trying to forget his
canal water sucking ass which
Resulted in less than ideal
results from all that effort
to relieve the pressure in
in an approved, safe manner
keeping it pointed in a
Direction that would not cause
any damage from accidental discharge
even though the hillbilly neighbors
Fire theirs off at us
and the Sheriff will not
intercede as his sisters cousin
Is madly in love with
his brothers fathers second cousin
Who just happens to be
a horrible hairy mountain troll
that works in Quality Control
at Wendy's licking all the
food ordered by unassuming persons
thinking that the special sauce
needed some more salt and
some green food colour to
Make it attractive to special
.
people from the green isles
Who only ate green chewey
gum that tastes like a
rotting squid in a seaweed
roll covered in extra crunchy
Shrimp poo from under a
armpit belonging to the only
Sweaty obese guy in the
east Prussian naked twister team
that tied last years skinny
dipping ice water challenge in
world record shattering time with
only slight shrinkage being a
fantasy, reality being a massive
retrograde shrinkage of biblical proportions
so the men's team looked
A lot like blubber faced
"big girls" without their main
restrictive undergarments all in place
to restrict the flow of
Things that shouldn't be seen
by un- intoxicated people unprepared for
undressed unwed mothers undulating on
unicycles juggling unopened umbrellas urgently
trying to open the umbrellas
universally accepted as undoable unless
one was very talented at
undulating on a unicycle while
opening multiple stuck umbrellas as
you keep balance with your
back and forth peddling swiftly
and using for balance a
nother unopened umbrella stuck up
a normally not easily accessible
aperture that is exposed periodically
and most times unnoticed with
All the hair on it.
that hasn't been washed in
an unbelievably long time, so
there are chiggers living in
that layer next to their
skin where all the other
organisms and bacteria are awaiting
directions to the nearest damp
spot to have a party
and do some real heavy
growth of a very itchy
"green zone" infested with all
types of deliciously appetizing treats
for your specially trained pet
to hunt and find more
giving the ultimate thrill to
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ac9XE2Koxg
scare, or ultimate scare to
scare the pants right off
some hot mama with big
ideas about what she would
like done with that expandable
extendable thingamijigit that only does
only one thing, but does
that one in five different
positions, speeds, intensity, duration, affects
and time zones ,making erogenous
claims that are hard to
substantiate in the absence of
hard and demonstrable proof of
the various uses for a
expandable and extendable with long
springy bits rusty from disuse
that rattle and creak with
each erotic stroke of the
pen, describing in detail the
comings and goings of the
blond twins from Austin Texas
with the really big assets
and fringe on her benefits
that would make a great
place to rest my head
when it needs some soft
pillows to relax with that
have a soothing tune to
Doze off while listening to
nestled between those nice soft
muffins, until such time that
one wakes with a start
with that uneasy feeling of
having forgot to do something
to promote world peace and
sexual harmony amongst those that
need harmony, sexual or otherwise
in the nicest trailer park
on this side of the
busy and bustling railroad tracks
which makes sleeping an interesting
walk through a moment in
the life of a trailer
park patrol officer carrying a
few extra pounds from all
those chicken wings and doughnuts
received in appreciation for all
of those long hours during
summer when the residents all
stay in refrigerated comfort inside
their very own reefer ,doing
their exercise that is a
lot like those performed in
special shows to give you
a thrill when you can't
got from ordinary type show
without all the bells and
whistles and special effects that
give you a fizzy feeling
that makes you crave for
home made, ooey gooey brownies
with vanilla bean ice cream
and a nice glass of
Hot coco on a cold morning
providing the needed sugar rush
for hobbling out to the
barn hung over from the
home made rum balls causing
delirium and feeling somewhat comatose
from that secret little ingredient
developed by a renegade government
to alter the mind of
disassociated malcontents to make them
cat herders and firemen willing
to get wet to get
the cat herd safe with
flock of chickens in the
net to set the mood
for some fun plucking chooks
of all the tiny feathers
that get in the way
and cause itching rashes
,painful for unprotected chook pluckers
that have never worked in
"the industry" before and didn't
realize what is real work
not just a pleasurable experience
that brings up something big
in the pocket every now
and again, in spite of
the effect of the pills
that were taken with scotch
to dull the memory of
long lost loves and Mopars
that got away when intoxication
overcame good sense to prevent
the sale of loved possessions
for low, low prices that
will never be repeated so
until the next intoxication event
buy now while you can
still walk a straight line
to the auto teller machine
and withdraw a large wad
of chewing tobacco ready for
spitting with the windows down
on the Pinto beside you
allowing an unobstructed trajectory for
doubling the Pinto's value
by adding some high class
markings to an otherwise lackluster
(Oops, I only used four words earlier) :rotz:
display of next years latest
automotive design to be ridiculed
by diehard Edsel Ford fans
and strange Pinto fans that
had a hot wheels just
like father used to have
even down to one bent
axle that caused laughter and
vibrating sensations that excited her
to the point of loosing
her carefully maintained and polished
fingernails and designer nose rings
doing the Texas two steep
under the mistletoe, until being
rudely interrupted by that guy
with the strange hair with
beads, baubles, glitter, and a
orange cat sitting on his
shoulder like a pirates parrot
,pussy instead of poly wanting
a wide block with a
radical high lift roller camshaft
for added air flow allowing
glorious noises and neck snapping
torque , neck braces for everyone
except for stiff necked passengers
tightly strapped in to protect
them from falling out during
vigorous back and forth motions
caused by the previously discussed
neck snapping poly wide block
's back and forth motions while
eating olives from their martinis
shaking them and not stirring
so as to not bruise
the delicate little tips of
the special "herb" added for
a memorable smell and bite
and no memory of the
redhead in skin tight leather
just a you tube posting
but still very, very interesting
to see yourself dancing around
around in the center of
all those strangers, while they
Took their clothes off for
the upcoming orgy at the
Bill and Monica Celebration Dance
on the Whitehouse lawn , distracting
voters. Last month Steven Seagal....
thought about going to the
East coast of North Korea
:shruggy:
for the festive mood generated
during state executions of family
members with anti-aircraft guns making
them an example for all
future in-laws just what to
do and say when asked
what happened to the last
corrupt family members that led
a corrupt lifestyle complete with
illicit drug and sex parties
fun for all who attended
the after party party, until
kims ill son's "thingy" got
got laughed at by his
aunts daughter , his long time
(http://board.moparts.org/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/default/drinking.gif)
:shruggy: drinking partner who was really
an escaped evil space goddess
being looked for by a
silicon based humanoid with no
boy or girly bits making
evil space goddess fume and
fuss over her lack of
water and dietary fiber supplements
to ease the constant constipation
making her eyes light brown
and her breath REALLY smelly ;D
which is perfectly suited to
the unique way that they
freshen their breath with small
animals , normally hamsters or gerbils
but larger will do when
a big mouth is encountered
and needs to be satisfied
but nothing else will do
leaving no choice but to
use cats and small dogs
and any neighbors anoyying pets
leaving them all traumatised and
neatly out of sight so
only their trembling gives away
the well hidden place that
they have gathered to plot
and conspire to do the
unthinkable, enter from the rear
without the proper lubrication to
make their hair sit flat
and perfectly aligned with the
full aerodynamic package sold at
a store near you and
easily fitted by your mom
to give it a family
feel to the whole festival
revival of Barney and friends
to torture another generation of
senior citizens who have to
take the nephew's and nieces
a recipe of Hansel and
Gretel stew , finger lickin good
low sodium for senior citizens
with taste buds that work
when aided by fine wine
and a combination of strong
herbs, spices, and psychotropic mushrooms
that grow nowhere near me
but can be surreptitiously ordered
through a local dealer in
lederhosen and tiroler hat near
the equatorial island proudly named
Yoderledihoo by the proud citizens
all three of them and
never spoken out loud when
out in public with the
recent barn find 69 Daytona
kept undercover until the last
meteor shower passes over and
the moon turns blue which
happens so very rarely that
It almost looks like a
smurfs rude dance and orgy
with all that blue moving
too and fro with the
almost wave like motion to
make you want to throwup
extra large chunky bits of
Little Debbie snacks and schnitzel
that keeps on giving you
heartburn so its better off
stocking up on antacids that
don't make you blow chunks
and acid filled slime with
small frilly green bits of
fix a flat tire sealant
flying everywhere from the tip
of your nose and outward
as you shake the flexible
hose until you hit someone
accidentally across their open mouth
fixing the leak once and
for all after flooding the
basement with all that green
septic pond overflow that could
be used as a mud-wresters
holding tank and healthful spa
except the smell would make
anyone with a cast iron constitution
hurl their breakfast all over
everything and everyone within a
few feet of the table
that was set with the
best china and silverware for
elderly relatives and old friends
in for late Sunday brunch
after a long church sermon
involving lots of snoozing and
and hushed giggles from youngsters
who just can't stop looking
for ways to cause trouble
for those that don't do
troublesome stuff that can be
seen openly ,instead doing it
out of sight with great
delight in not being seen
by those that really don't
want to know how badly
they have raised their monsters
for a guilt free conscience
trying to avoid responsibility of
said sprogs doings causing concern
among the others watching it
and expressing said concern by
choosing very subtle visuals that
would only be noticed by
seasoned medical professionals and asylum
inmates that think they are
equally qualified to dispense prescription
drugs to the masses causing
inventory shortages for needy people
strung out by lack of
ObamaCare paid and approved Doctors
lounges in varying hospitals around
large city ghettos that don't
normally have a doctors lounge
furnished with anything except WalMart
fold up chairs and a
Barney purple memory foam davenport
nice and comfy when ridding
the waiting room of loud
huffs and puffs , coitus interruptus
spoiling the fun for watching
peeps, making them jump for
an expression of frustration that
they could not wipe from
their faces with a good
brand of wet ones, even
the heavy duty 4 ply
"no poo finger" guaranteed ones
made for industrial applications that
have a pop up Chinese
fire breathing dragon that makes
the bad stuff come out
burning off the unwanted flammable
gasses providing heat for the
next stage of the big
bang in the back of
the hurtling rocketship equipped with
a supercharged hemi propulsion device
equipped to run on hydrogen
when all else fails to
get the job done quickly
and competently with no mistakes
an extremely big ask for
almost anything not hemi powered
because the laws of thermodynamics
are not to be trifled
with a mere GM-FORD product
that are the weakest links
in any chain that was
made with scrap Chinese steel
coming from unknown venders selling
bailing wire and duct tape
to those contemplating the theft
resistant methods to secure valuable
cargo for the trip home
over rough sections of the
back woods dirt track leading
to the barn and 'still
intending to run off some
moonshine for the family reunion
when all the kissin cousins
start a big, humongous, super-colossal
roll in the hay ,pregnancy
to show the possibility of
everyone being the father of
necessity to find the real
owner of the silver bullet
to get more amunition for
Grandma's Texas themed birthday party
or the annual werewolf hunt
and Sunday get together after
tacos and shots of tequila
with Bella and Boris the
hunt guides that showed the
hunters where to hunt for
Big Foot and Marfa Lights
or yowies and min-min lights
which some really believe is
Hey, this thread is at page 426 :cheers:
tied to lucky number 426
lucky for some but unlucky
for the bow tie boys
who's number 396 was not
even close to the legend
and tended to go boom
often as bowties tend to
do, when push beyond the
ability to stay together at
the corner store while everyone
eats ice cream floats with
extra ice cream from that
old dairy farm owned by
that old guy from the
land of milk and honey
on the other side of
the lost valley where all
the girls go topless for
lack of anything better to
on hot sunny days in
the dead of summer when
sweaty pits and cleavage cause
the local biting fly population
to go somewhere else , leaving
blissful peace and quiet with
topless girls doing topless things
that only topless girls can
do , going topless of course
Much to the dismay of
wowsers and associated freedom haters
that always try to take
away peoples right to be
independent thinkers and self sufficient
preppers, ready for the big
economic collapse and martial law
to cause chaos amongst the
huddled hungry and thirsty masses
who have no idea what
to do when the electricity
and the water stop working
and the angry hordes begin
to search for the missing
pork rinds and moon pies
lost down the back of
shelving in the country store
months beforehand but still tasty
as an unopened Hostess Twinkie
will out last the end
every last cockroach on planet
X in the galaxy next
door to Cygnus
some where past the big
area between Vega and Deneb
but before Gamma Crucis in
forbidden ancient alien territory guarded
by big nasty green slimy
Squirrel monsters playing jump rope
with the intestines of the
Last existing prius while singing
off key to the tune
Its raining men and YMCA
enough to turn a dog
Into a banana, wearing a
pink spandex tu-tu just for
A batchler party for five
very sick individuals who should
venture out from the hinterlands
of Australia to show us
just enough pink to get
to raise the hackles of
the brown dog laying on
rug by the fire/air-conditioner
in the back seat of
A rusted out hot pink
four speed hemi Cuda convertible
just looking for a new
Place to call nirvana because
everyone is looking for their
Very own special place to
curl up with a good
Hot steaming cup full of
100 proof scotch and a
Three week stale crumpet covered
with cat hair off the
Off of the crusty butt
with hot sweaty dags hanging
Everywhere for added flavor and
texture adding roughage for proper
Reasons to molest themselves to
show the goats how its
Done to smelly crusty prostitutes
looking for a nice hot
Sticky hot smelly load of
last weeks lasagne with extra
Its Peanut butter jelly time!
quit a strange thing to
Do without your mother-in-law joining
the air-force for a little
Good time with the boys
So a - doesn't make it one word in this thread? :shruggy:
in uniforms because thats what
rules are pretty informal , rules are there any rules :scratchchin: :rofl:
We do and how we
There's rules? :rofl:
are when we want some
Free cooter at traffic stops :smilielol:
No such thing as free :popcrn:
everything has a price ,meanwhile
let the good times roll
and have fun with what
little time you have left
driving your favourite MOPAR , always
washing and waxing afterwards with
special attention to those spots
that are often over looked
leading to rusty back window
channels that need high pressure
air blown into all offending
harboring and promoting pesky rust
which should be avoided if
you want to preserve your
pride and joy for coming
generations to have and enjoy
even though they aren't allowed
to stay thirsty, my friends
so drink all the best
beer that money can buy.
because tomorrow your head will
spinning about all three axes
and feeling like a trip-hammer
fell on it with great
thumping and thudding ,making the
the most incredible sound that
only you can hear , making
A funny face while wearing
a rubber fish suit , heading
To the farmers market in
the hope of swimming with
United States Marines around Guadalcanal
upside down unseen in the
littoral waters and reed marshes
mistaken for a rare tropical
paradise equal to Parris Island
a holiday hot spot for
pumped up high school students
looking to make themselves outstanding
citizens of the United States
where they hope to be
With a senseless clown making
a porno for the twisted
Sick, and rich to direct
from the comfort of their
fine Corinthian leather appointed Cordoba
with chrome plated grease nipples
That need to be torqued
with a chrome plated torque-wrench
that reads in inch pounds
not that metric crap that
that messes with your mind
when converting peck's to tonne's
when only a dash of this and a dash of that is needed
Quote from: DeltaV on April 02, 2016, 05:58:40 AM
when only a dash of this and a dash of that is needed
to make 5 into 13 :lol:
, forgetting the thread you're on
is easy to do , if
one forgets to check it
or is to full to
keep track of small details
resulting in lots of lost
critical pieces needed for reassembly
so a "bodge up" was
totally out of the question
without extensive internet research to
locate the cavern of lost
hemi parts that are critical
to everyone that wants to
create a convoy of thundering
hemi powered b body's ready
to humiliate by mere presence
notwithstanding the brilliant chromed and
detailed engine bays, gleaming in
the scorching New Mexico sun
while the owner gets sunburn
polishing mentioned chrome
Quote from: dyslexic teddybear on April 09, 2016, 06:52:43 PM
polishing mentioned chrome
and forgetting which thread contains
directions for to respond correctly :brickwall:
:lol: or at least match the
"flow" of continuing comments in
Guess I should feel lucky there isn't also a 2 or 4 word thread :yesnod:
the spirit of good natured
ribbing about our loss of
time from doing word games
and posting pics of butts
, looking at them for inspiration
to fuel an otherwise boring
trip of a boring lifetime
which could become un-boring without
too much effort or trouble
or warning of a impending
rupture of her womanly virtue
maybe something like aunt flow
or farts in the wind
or worse, farts....no wind
or worse large gaseous emissions
increasing the no wind problem
when wind is needed for
purging and clearing the air
and possibly basic survival for
those depending on it for
a supply of air to keep
their sails full for the
trip around the stormy horn
on their way to the
the raging main rum party
being held by William Bligh
with his merry band of
crazy Aussies with poly leading
the rebellion , "viva la revolution"
fueled by hormones and bourbon
plus fine cigars made from
that other stuff that makes
Cuba wish that they had
of started rolling their cigars
better then the home grown
potatoes ready to be mashed
which is really code for
your favorite method of entertainment
when in the privacy of
your own humble abode in
the highest taxed school district
full of yuppie scum looking
bearded, girlie skinny pants wearing
nothing but a red string
rainbow thong that just covered
their butt when they bent
over to tie their shoes
in the best part of
Hollywood Blvd. shocking all who
witnessed the ssssuper sssspectacular ssssspectacle
Daffy Duck impersonators decked out
in the appropriate costume for
Dewey's birthday party at the
Duck Dastardly ssssswinging sssssingles sssssswaray
especially for the single ducks
who couldn't get laid in..
the normal way because they
dance so weirdly and unconventionally
like Elaine off Seinfeld , weird
like every one on Sienfield
which really wasn't all that
funny because of excessive whining
from the mediocre cast members
and even worse writers that
thought that the same thing
was funnier than the last
unfunny episode to be seen
each week by those with
nothing better to do with
an hour of their time
that is lost forever and
will never be got back
no matter how hard you
work at it , proving that
time waits for no one
so seize the day ,for
tomorrow may not ever come
and then what will you
wish you had told friends
and family about your secret
life of crime in the
back street brothels of Saigon
making a motza , 2 bob
on a warm and sunny
day buys you a few
ice cold pleasing frothy beverages
but not the ones that
come in a tin can
that teenagers guzzle until plastered
to the windscreen by a
large cylindrical immovable telecommunication support
that just jumped out from
nowhere on a curvy road
leaving them no recourse other
than to be utterly obliterated
in a shower of broken
glass and assorted body parts :icon_smile_blackeye:
all flying like they have
a mind of their own
to every point of the
disturbing scenery of the expulsion
of grey mater through the
beautiful countryside road ruined by
the lack of someone to
hose off the red blood
coloured jelly left over from
the flailing occupants of the
rapidly overturning automobile ejecting excrement
throughout the beautiful countryside of
those not silly enough to
come upon this silly thread
and partake of the silliness
in the fun silly space
put aside for silly things
as silly is, silly does
perhapd being slightly more silly
than the "normal "can handle
But I am not normal :nana:
putting fun back in dysfunctional
is the name of the
game aforementioned in this thread
fun during those quiet times
at work and at home
when the urge to play
hits at an opportune time
in order to keep the
game rolling along very smoothly
taking your turn and having
fun with the English language
although some might be slightly
better linguistically than some others
who don't got no edacation
that is discussed elsewhere here
from their poor grammar to
their pitiful use of punctuation
and there terribl speeeling witch
rears its ugly head occasionally
along with discombobulated syntax that
makes reading any of it
cheap amusement for english teachers
who are stuck between that or
marking homework from those very
annoying with a quite obscure
style of hand writing that
is about impossible to read
without being fluent in Sanskrit
street slang before trying to
decipher the unreadable writing from
useless twits without any regard
for the eyesight of poor
old and decrepit like me :'(
as old age is a
time honored tradition we're stuck
with it unless someone finds
the hidden fountain of youth
or a bottle of Viagra
that was long forgotten under
jordache jeans and vitalis hair
tonic along with grecian formula
for those grey hairs on
the top of old guys
shoulders and large deformed ears
which can hear surprisingly well
when they want them to
with the volume at 10
on the tele , waking everyone
The page is a 440 :2thumbs:
truly a mile stone for
a stroker and a game
of word play on the
Dodge Charger .com interwebs site
where barn finds are viewed
and reviewed for the inexperienced
shoppers with money burning holes
thru deep pockets so the
urge to spend is overwhelming
with little consequences unlike poorer
choices that did not work
in the long run however
short term gain is always
followed by longer term losses
as the car asks for
more and more of your
slightly hard earned green backs
to be spent on go-fast
goodies under the hood for
fun going fast when the
loud pedal is depressed firmly
to the floor and tyres
evaporate in glorious smoke plumes
followed by colored lights from
the boys in blue, wanting
to extract sums of cash
as reimbursement for the smokey
radial t/a's melted on the
tarmac back in the intersection
as the policemen watched jealously
from their hidden position behind
the krispy kreme donut shop
consuming their morning intake of
chocolate covered raspberry donuts bursting
with that special goodness only
fat plump coffee slurping gluttons
appreciate for the sugar rush
keeping them awake during traffic
duty ,waiting for careless burnouts
by Honda Civics with wings
and stupid , giant fart cans
emitting unburned sugary ethanol spew
and a terrible noise ,something
like a gopher being choaked
on a peanut while trying
to run away from lawnmowers
being driven by demented householders
with an evil gleam in
their crazy crazy eyes , making
weirdly shaped women look attractive
to the naïve horny bastards
smashed on rotgut looking for
a score of a sleazy
easy lay to brag about
but no one cares or
is counting bed post notches
when their bits start falling
into the large sewer pit
that is sludge filled and
smells of the most horrid
things that the mind can
think up in a substandard
drainage system in a backwoods
of the dump where bears
sh*t and its knee-deep
to a giraffe on stilts
leaving Goldie and her sister
looking upwards in total awe
wondering if painting the ceiling
to match was an option
if only necessity weren't so
pressing ,knee deep in bear
pooh in the woods of
poo on the shoe , Goldie
Hawn scraped from her shoes
something that was not bear
but was more like Sasquatch's
a worrying development in the
storyline that has been progressing
with poo perils for Goldie
I've got pearls for Goldie :smilielol:
if she can wade through
Environmental Protection Agency red tape
protecting the pooers from prosecution
perhaps perplexing the poor perpertrators
propensity to pour PCP precipitates
down their throat , causing the
causing further perplexity to ponder
EVERYTHING for 3 days before
the police purloin the perpertrators
and pronounce a prolonged penal
penalty for partaking pcp products
and becoming preoccupied with poop
and weird wenches writhing wide
,knee deep in the woods
with rumps rising rosy roundly
steaming in the dawn light
waiting for their hind asset
to glint in the sunshine
from the early morning dew
that has covered the windshield
and the shinny hinny making
moisture that was once abundant
evaporate in the rising heat
of the fornicater approaching hungerily
and looking like Charles Manson
but singing like Shirley Manson
looking for the Manson mansion
eventually ending in Eastern Edinburgh
with the testament to tote
together with the bag of
heads removed rather hastily with
-out the Rastafarians noticing that
The Ganga, bumba bloodclot mon
was missing from the stash
where they left it for
latter when they were going
pose with them using candles
for there atmosphere when burning
Strawberry Alarmclock's Incense and Peppermints
to cover the intense smell
permeating the fine Corinthian leather
in the escalade that bob's
oldest son spray painted gold
with a Rasta stripe down
and across the landau bars
which while striking was quite
gawdy in a post renaissance
coffee connoisseur sort of way
In the Starbucks parking lot
cars and cake on sat
unless the cake is gone
on Fri night , then its
just a shitty ass party
with lots of free coffee
and no biscotti to dip
leaving dippers disappointed and dunkers
down and dirty dilly dallying
instead of witling and twiddling
tempestuous toddler tantrums tantamount to
a wave of worldwide wobbly's
weeble women wobbling wilste whistling
kneading and knitting knots in
long haired children behaving badly
rocking and rolling to tunes
on the eight track stereo
through one dash board speaker
rattling all treble ,no base
with intermittent crackling that distracts
from the strong vocals of
a Bing Crosby Christmas song
rehashed by Beyoncé and sounding
like it should have been
sung by billy bob thorton
swinging his sharpened lawnmower blade
for a nice close shave
only attainable through skill and
the use of a good
file and honing stone applied
to wet flesh ,rubbing the
blubber from underneath ones chin
in a counter-clockwise direction
in the northern hemisphere, but
it doesn't really have the
proper depth of motion consistent
with a chrome platted grease
gun bought from Harbor Freight
only used once and now
preserved for the future with
other non working oddities from
a large island country that
is known for its kiwi's ;)
that think their neighbors are
the greatest people on earth
unless its on a sports-field
where super friendly competition gets
thrown out the window , war
winner takes all, with extreme
prejudice towards the losing team
taunting them mercilessly all afternoon :nana:
whilst drinking Spaten with wenches
that should of been with
us handsome Dodge Charger owners
keeping the car clean ,clothed
and driven with reckless abandon
just like it was stolen
from under the noses of
careful owners who would not
be altogether happy with the
lack of respect shown classic
motors, spinning at six grand
pushing the limits through the
small hole in the end
for producing high pitched whistling
noises ,very annoying for those
with sensitive dog-like hearing
who keep wanting to fetch
three day old road kill
for "road kill surprise" for
the Sunday brunch main course
served to all and sundry
elderly blue haired southern belles
who really look forward to
mint julep tea with their
side of macaroni and cheese
for dinner ,because the wife
wanted something that could be
made by the kids because
they need to learn important
cooking skills for latter use
when trekking across the barren
and desolate region known as
the living room and kitchen
refrigerator filled with mysterious outofdate
containers bulging at the seams
ready for use as dips
at the Demolitionalist's Nativity Convention
where crackers are an optional
delectable accoutrement covered with dripping
dipping sauce for the bulging
waistbands of pretentious and portly
connoisseurs consuming countless croissant carrying
copious caffeinated confections configured confusingly
causing kaleidoscopic visions to dance
across the entire length of
the bit that you can
chew all day long without
ever getting to the end
of the rope used to
tie it on to the
back end of a donkey
for transport to the factory
to manufacture dog food and
eco friendly low carb nutri-bars
for the Rio Olympic games
organising committee to distribute to
the lovely girl from Impanema
who so impressed frank that
he temporarily adopted bossa nova
as his ring tone for
when his daughter Nancy calls
whilst wearing those boots that
go straight up to the
top of her knees , while
singing you only live twice
https://youtu.be/XgFtQPgHyek
while walking all over you
that the boots were made
for , sometime latter Jessica revived
the old tradition and did
a fairly good job ,mmmm :drool5:
good enough for government work
or a job at the
bounce and jiggle silicone factory
were all employee's must experience
the lightheadedness that comes with
massive mammary maintenance missions . meaning
all aspiring actresses are augmented
with wet and wild wilfulness
while wontedly wicked worlds write
wrongs, while wringing wiggly worms
without watching werewolves wearing wolverine
wearables with witches writing wantonly
about aphrodisiacs as alchemists arrange
bubbling bulbous blue bottles bearing
pearlescent poppy pink pills purportedly
everything everybody ever envisioned ,evidently
partaking psychedelic party pills, professing
pure passion ,purposefully pushing porpoises
directly downward, defining dark depths
for famous foursomes fighting fires
started so [p]sychotic sleeping secretly
dodging Dagwood dogs diligently dipping
into increasing intense images in
losing less likeable lackey's, lovely
little lickable lady lump likely
quite quintessential, quickly questioning quandaries
that to totally titillate, touch
treacle topped temptations to take
tofu Twinkies to tempt Tasmanian
devils devouring delectable diet dessert
pastries passing pistachio pits past
spasming sphincters squeezing slippery stuff
, powerful pulse's pulverizing potentially plugging
masticated matter ,making more manure
and additionally assaulting auditory appendages
with worthless waste wantonly wrung
out of oblate organ offerings
sometimes shooting straight, sometimes splattering
merrily making much mess , missing
sometimes significantly sized smelly stuff
taking ten times the tonnage
for fertilizing fabulously flowering ferns
gleefully growing gargantuan green goldies
setting six specially spectacular spotted
sequoias squatting secretly ,silently speculating
sniper silencer selections, somewhat surreptitiously
taking their time selecting their
two pages of dr. Zeus was enough I couldn't take it anymore :pullinghair:
method of making Poly hairless
for not doing that same
jig at high school graduation
parties lasting all night with
much help from chemical engineering
students, imbibing volatile, bubbling concoctions
for psychedelic fun with the
introverted librarians and nursing students
who's drink has been spiked
slightly using unknown suspicious substances
who's affects are quite different
from what one would expect
from something someone slipped in
entirely unnoticed and quickly dissolved
for fun and games after
resulting incarceration with roommate Bubba
then known as bubba's bitch
and passed around to others
with similar weird twisted tastes
looking for new and intense
relationships with those unfortunate souls
driven by unusual desires to
do sick and twisted mauvers
at midnight under their Mopars
hiding their strangeness by doing
big smoky burnouts with their
smoke machine and sound affects
to make their VW sound
like a massively overpowered Mopar
but without all the fuss
of needing special affects to
make people think that they
worked diligently on a Hemi
(a real Hemi...426 cid)
https://youtu.be/nLkw8853ECA
when they were really making
a blown and fuel injected
lawn mower engine , powering a
decal laden, stick on winged
plastic go cart , ready for
super tough imaginary sticker compitition
from other sticker stickers in
old automobile bubble gum wrappers
for that authentic vintage look
and smell released when moving
swiftly through the humid atmosphere
of a sunbaked vinyl interior
with extra hot seat belt
buckles and pistol grip shifter
that broke off from excessive
use as a hobby horse
proving some people just don't
know what a pistol grip
shifter is supposed to be
used for , not as an
implement of childish and destructive
behaviour , or use as a
lever for climbing over the
back seat for some extra
pork rinds and unsalted cashews
at the drive in with
nothing better to do than
climb into the back seat
for more room to move
to the groove with the
music playing just the right
tempo for back seat boogie
using the perfect motion to
spread the lotion for easy
sliding into quite sensitive areas
without a frictional heat buildup
that could ultimately lead to
lots of smoke from the
less then ideal conditions of
area's rubbed raw from all
the abrasive sand from the
tootsie roll used to make
frosting for the German chocolate
mud cake that sara lee
shamelessly imitates for big bucks
in grocery stores all over
the countryside during the holidays
when cake eating connoisseurs consume
caramel covered confections containing carrots
till technicolour yawns make their
eyeballs glaze over like doughnuts
as they recover from the
overdose of calories from carbohydrates
from all the mashed potatoes consumed
during dinner the night before
along with heavily buttered bread
gravy and the other necessary
pleasurable accoutrements that make life
feel like its worth living
and sharing with Nicole Kidman
could be a fun thing
to dream and fantasize about
while polishing the tunnel ram
to use a euphemism for
use when in presence of
easily offended company who would
resemble Leave It To Beaver
or happy days characters acting
like they don't have a
care in the real world
, all the while we are
making like a duck , calm
on the surface
but paddling like hell underneath
to get away from nuisance Canada geese
(seven words to make up for my prior post); sorry
who eat all the best
lumbricus terrestris that we need
as fishing bait for the
big mouth bass gala event
followed by the big fishfry
using a Hemi powered fryer
built by top gears Jeremy
to fry really, really fast
fish before they can get
taken to the sushi bar
for those that eat raw
fish and other delectable seafood
just like mermaids and otters
that catch only the best
fresh seafood and then chow
down like there's no tomorrow
eating it all, guts and
all, without the slightest hesitation
over yucky bit that would
revile and gag a maggot
or make a brown dog
wallow on tenderized road kill
till it smells just right
and with the perfect consistency
to wipe on the carpet
that was installed last week
completely scentless , making dogs do
dog tricks for delectable treats
while totally oblivious to the
sneaky cat stealing dog food
from the dog bowl instead
of eating fish head stew
with the local boat people
instead of chilled monkey brains
with Indiana jones in the
Temple of Doom movie hit
with some buy a flop
py type of hat that will
fly off his head only
when air is moving over
the large forehead in front
test sections of wind tunnels
propelled by methane produced in
defiance of global warming regulations
prepared while drinking warm milk
with cookies on the plate
of questionable cleanliness and substandard
strength to keep the cookies
from falling off the table
and into the dog's mouth
causing decay from to much
sugar coated starches teeming with
extra sticky gooey sugary goodness
for flies, bees, cockroaches, and
anything else to get stuck
before eating it with warm
sake with a beer chaser
and a hot black russian
who'll do anything anytime with
anyone as long as they
can provide adequate incentive to
perform circus tricks with a
one eyed, untrainable grizzly bear
unlike a most gracious teddybear :yesnod:
who would do it for
the benefit of fellowmen everywhere
as long as the camera
doesn't catch the look in
the crazy eyes as the
spectators get their monies worth
sitting in the front row
whilst eating sticky cotton candy
and peanut brittle, making a
strange sound with their nose
which sounded remarkably like a
water buffalo in heat when
the bull jumps up and
shows off his fully, completely
ready to use third member
glistening in the morning sun
( how poetic :eek2:)
for all the lady cows
fit to receive such magnificence
[ not poetic, but plagiarism.....I had to have read that somewhere.]
from jealous members of the
congregation watching from the wings
waiting their turn to get
service by the lead bull
who never gets worn out
but his bit gets friction
necessary to function properly with
out doing to much damage
requiring medical attention to
surgically deplete the mounting pressure
contained behind the closed orifice
that" little jimmy "glued shut
using construction adhesive for a
nice water and air tight
and difficult to remove when
the monkey gets the green
unavoidable urge to purge the
system ,making barking noises while
everyone else runs for cover
waiting for the fateful moment
that great green gobs of
gelatinous, gastrointestinal discharges reeking of
ozone and enzyme with a
hint of asbestos wrapped dioxins
bursts forth to cover all
interior and exterior surfaces of
anything close enough to be
spattered over 100% of your
interior and exterior surfaces, causing
the purchase of much cleaning
fluid and cotton buds going
into the empty septic tank
filling it requiring a visit
to an appropriate room for
much needed relief from overeating
and having your butt glued
to watching the Velocity channel
with reruns of graveyard cars
showing the latest dance moves
by the un-named fool with
the sweet and gorgeous daughter
the only reason anyone would
tune in their television sets
is for boobies ,glorious free
spirited with perky and cute
girly bits that make you
tremble with anxious anticipation that
they will rub their pert
,perky, and cute girly bits
all over your eager waiting
next door neighbor that drives
a smoky Chevy shitbox ,emanating
smells that would gag maggots
and turn a brown dog
into a trembling and shaking
mess unable to eat its
master's leftovers of steak and
mash, peas with gravy and
kibbles unless the master picks
the bickies out for after
after dinner mints to spread
the joy to one and
all former Miss Direct Connection
who fills a sweater out
in all the right places
which is sadly missing in
the typical everyday WalMart patron
who al Bundy would call
out for their large proportions
and bear like lower appendages
dangling in the warm water
spreading that "wet dog" smell
into every nook and cranny
which really shouldn't of caused
the stampede of water buffaloes
to stomp Mustangs and Camaros
into the muddy river bed
causing much wailing and gnashing
of the pony car snowflakes
teeth and foot stamping antics
reveling in pathetic self pity
resembling political losers from the
losing side, bitching and moaning
about losing their safe spaces
in the corner with a
play-do set and stuffed animals
that need comforting and stroking
to relieve the triggered stress
attack brought on by the
by the mere thought of
having to do anything for
yourself in the real world
without taking blame for failures
is as alien as a
"safe space" is to me
because you are so very
much a well-adjusted boomer
and well-adjusted open to interpretation
of post modern neo classic
sub category involving multiply divergent
senses of self that unite
such intense feelings of epic
conflict that one can't live
without the thrill of being
tickled with a emu feather
from a pillow sack belonging
to the tickler , kept for
special occasions too far between
fun tickling episodes leaving emotions
of bewilderment, disgust, awe, and
exhaustion from hyperventilating agony as
the breath comes back resulting
chest pains and swirling dizziness
making everything look like a
spinning, blurred, fuzzy oversized giant
Barney, Tasmanian Devil, and Kardashians
rolled into one big disgusting
ball to drop on terrorists
so they know genuine terror
and will abandon their evil
thinking that god has abandoned
providing promised virgins
from various strange computer cubicles
located in the cellar where
they never see the sun
or the light of day
making them all milky white
from the absence of chlorophyll
in their system making them
unfit for human consumption or
feeding them to any domestic
animal at the petting zoo
because the kids would catch
heck for doing it to
one another while the teacher
was chatting up the attendant
hoping for a cozy experience
out of sight of the
unsuspecting rug rats that should
be climbing all over priceless
one of a kind domestic
hoytie toytie distilled spirits that
get one as wasted as
as freshly opened Night Train
or dr. jurds jungle juice
over ice, stirred not shaken
so as to not bruise
the delicate olive garnishes found
in the upper crusts glass
with the diamond encrusted rim
to match their sparkly tiara
and awesome Victoria's Secret lingerie
straight out of the catalogue
displayed to perfection with a
tramp stamp to show it
and emphasize the pleasing curves
that you seldom see at
early morning hours with a
sales crowd at wal mart
where all are welcome to
waddle around blocking the aisles
for as long as possible
soaking up the air conditioning
whilst eating excessively buttered popcorn
and Cheetos, washed down with
Royal Crown cola and Fanta
in huge quantities as quickly
as possible making payment a
pain when paying in pennies
and a few nickels that
that were minted with buffaloes
and worth more then five
quarters , all this maths is
trivial because of government bankruptcy
or inflation, whichever occurs first
but still the government's doing
its best at making a
big a mess as possible
for someone else to clean
up by duping volunteers with
fake news stories about the
fun to be had cleaning
toxic waste and biological weapons
and wax and polish surfaces
that don't need to be
to function very well with
olive oil and cream cheese
spread smeared over fresh anchovies
creating a taste so potent
cats travel from Easter island
with an Easter Bunny to
boil for a tasty dessert
while doing a dance for
the exciting pre dinner entertainment
giving an all out performance
that would move stony Moai
to join said wild dance
to summons the extraterrestrial's return
in a spectacular demonstration of
mind over matter making the
unsuspecting spectators turn into zombies
to commit the heinous crime
of scratching one's own butt
with a crow bar causing
complex and painful side affects
to be soothed by the
xylene soaked sixty grit sandpaper
followed by some internal massage
using rusty rat tail files
rotated really hard and fast
while wrists wildly wallop wrenches
relentlessly rebuilding, reusing reclaimed recyclable
cotton clothing ,causing curious cuts
to totally touchable tenacious tentacles
idley intruding in intelligible irony
with wascally wabits woefully wondering
http://photobucket.com/images/elmer%20fudd
which way went wascally wabbit
, well...... wandering wascally wabit went
sideways , slipping ,sliding ,shuffling stuff
until under ware unexpectedly upset
Mom's meandering milquetoast male moles
requiring really recent repeated revolving
doors dictating direct deposits, delicately
assimilated and acquired as anonymous
passers by press pink poop
anonymously and assuredly asymmetrically, assuming
all assholes allow artistic acrobats
dubiously doing doable double doobies
until the cows come home.
giving "enhanced" milk from the
single teat , which tastes like
sour cream flavoured hemp rope
which is a real surprise
to the new born calves
thinking they are going to
have sweet milk with cookies
but really got a load
of chunky, sticky, soured milk
and buffalo biscuits, not exactly
what you'd find in a
five star restaurant in Californiastan
but you might find it
included with a meal at
that cheap diner out by
toxic waste Superfund dump site
just past the black stump
beside the big skunk cemetery
down the road from the
lovely red headed palm reader
who's brother the cop recently
ran for mayor and won
with a stuffed ballot box
that required voters blood oath
to date his sister and
show her a good time
every red headed sister would
think was the bees knees
and really getting into the
swing of things with the
Gorilla that washes dishes at
the local vgen/toufu bar
having a ball at the
karaoke bar after work with
all of those strange little
songs that only locals know
and appreciate for what is
real down home authentic sounds
that harken back to the
golden age of karaoke performances
of magical music composed by
bubba , Mary-Lou , billy-bob and shamus
for the annual Deliverance reunion
featuring large numbers of banjos
and many jugs of moonshine
with squeal like a pig
to keep perfect time and
look just like a hog
in a wallow , buried under
a mattress covered with tiny
blue bunnies ,quite fetching considering
it's a blue-bunny covered mattress
in a hog wallow with
hogs burying it with the
stinky smell flowing down wind
so upwind is the place
to observe such sites with
both hands full of marshmallow
ready to stuff in your
acceptible body orifice made to
warn of smells that gag
and cause uncontrollable up chucking
symbolized by :puke: :puke: :puke:
which should be a warning
to all those city people
it's gotta be bad to
throw a blue bunny covered
mattress in with the mud
for extra traction in the
event of a very big
hog looking for a piece
gnarly, but succulent tree root
that grows in a remote
section of back woods swamp
that sells for thirty thousand
dollars with the mossy Chargers
myth similar to "barn finds''
and forgotten dealers old stock
for the Hemi station wagon
and super charged Hemi A100
all stock and waiting for
the production model with needed
big back tyres for the
difficulty of hooking up a Hemi
that is blown and injected
massively over powered and respected
cars beloved by loyal owners
never go out of style
because Mopars have so much
unique style that no-one
could ever match or beat
them for individuality ,colours like
Moulan Rouge and Panther-pink
hurt the eye though , making
a bold, artistic statement that
nearly glows in the dark
amongst other extremely violent reactions :puke:
for those the hue repels
I'd be very happy to drive a Panther Pink/Moluan Rouge car.....as long as it has a blown +500 cid/+800lb torque.......yeah...I'd be OK with it..... :yesnod:
and wish for color blindness
because a brilliant pink car
can cause sensory overload for
those allergic to brilliant pink
which matches the hand bag
of the wife or girlfriend
if that is what you
need to have a successful
Burger and German Beer restaurant
selling sausages to thirsty Germans
and good burgers to hungry
Dodge Charger owners that treat
cars like an eat in
portable diner, powerful, and beautifully
appointed with stainless and chrome
to compliment the greasy finger-marks
with the smell of rubber
burning from lack of lubricant
that's always a problem for
adolescents not watching what they're
doing with their hands while
mentally occupied with an intense
show of sound and light
momentarily blinding them to the
awesome power available with a
extension cord and a powerboard
connected to high tension lines
with steel paperclips and tinfoil
secured with long plastic ties
manufactured in China that definitely
do not act as insulation
or any other intended function
that a sane man can
find on an internet forum
for budding electricians who hold
up lightning rods during thunderstorms
for that perfect spiral perm
that Don King forever immortalized
making beach bunny's really jealous
because they want the fame
without pain of lighting strike
and the smell that accompanies
the burning sensation in your
sun don't shine area that
was the closest to the
reproduction apparatus likely fried by
the current passing through the
mentioned apparatus to a ground
point somewhere near the "darkside "
illuminated by the glowing 'apparatus'
leaving all nerve endings highly
charged with anticipation of the
healing process taking a long
and painful road to recovery
involving corrective surgery to rebuild
the frayed edges of the
hanging apparatus to look like
it did before it was
eletra-fried into a smoking
heap of homogenous gelatinus goo
but none the worse for
wear in the scheme of
advanced medicine and bueracratic insurance
purchased and paid for with
bottle tops and cereal box
circular coupons copiously collected, correlated
compounded copiously coining conundrum coupling
courageously cashed, cantankerously certified checks
spent surepticiously subjected stranded straphangers
to Dr Seuss style repertoire
incessantly irritatingly insane ignominious illuminations
shown to perfection by DeltaV
a true champion of the
downtrodden, oppressed and excessively hairy
sounds like most of us
are searching for a reliable
back hair removal service for
our upcoming hot and sweaty
rendezvous with horrible hairy trolls
whose hair once shaven, looks
like that elementary school custodian
working overtime and unappreciated by
The uppity school teacher women
a well known educated fool
who spent all their time
filling young minds with crap
all done in the name
of modern education for the
expressed purpose of social experimentation
on the ignorant masses who
believe the lies and promises
that flow so freely from
certain agenda promoting college teachers
that are social justice warriors
for the other side of
extreme making politically correct speech
with a stutter from all
special snowflakes in safe spaces
equipped with fuzzy stuffed animals
as hats for the parade
and helps tell the snowflakes
to just suck it up
easter eggs can be had
in ridiclusly stupid safe spaces
in any color that pleases
or can be coloured in
after connecting the numbered dots
with a bold coloured sharpie
can snowflakes handle a 'sharpie'
that is emblazoned with conservative
principals that trigger and horrify
sending them scurrying to their
protective bubble and hot coco
to colour and crochet sweaters
for their stuffed toys and
each other to identify snowflakes
and their stupid tiny dogs
suitable for toilet cleaning duties
after cleaning the dust-bunnies under
the bed last cleaned on
the day they moved in
43 years and 5 dogs
ago making this a very
very, dusty dust bunny magnet
on the stone floor that
lets the bunny's move freely
as they are drawn to
the stuff you want to
very carefully clean and shine
with no bunny "sh*t" stuck
in hard to clean areas
needing to be scraped out
patiently using lock picks with
cotton wool and white spirits
distilled and spiked for more
effective dissolving of the residue
that stubbornly sticks to everything
like sh*t to bear fur
on a cartoon bear that
ridiculous commercial for toilet paper uses a cartoon bear family :brickwall:
can't find a rabbit to
hug and squeeze him all to
make him soft and squishy
to make it comfortable to
place under your dog's head
after a big day of playing
and running around to get
the ball, thrown many times
out into the woods taking
it ever closer to the
danger of falling into the
knee deep bear shit left
in your neighbor's flower bed
because bears don't always shit
in the places that are
normally thought of as the
natural place for bears to
visit outside of the woods
for an enjoyable change of
scenery, waiting for Goldie locks
and steeping hot bowls of
porridge, oatmeal, or your choice
of hot and sticky steaming
with your favorite flavor topping
to disguise the taste of
bear slobber containing rotted salmon
:puke:
adding additional protein and strong
gag reflexes for Goldie locks
to practice doing something difficult
before wading through the bear
traps hidden under the leaves
carefully set with the proper
bait and spring tension for
those pesky bears that shit
anywhere and anytime they please
and not where desired or
where dogs dare go when
the bears aren't there , sometimes
a three dog night if
the bear is really hungry
and is not a picky eater
snacking on wiener dogs and
unaware weekend hikers taking pictures
who they should be getting
to a safer location with
less bears to eat them
so they can relax with
a large stein of Spaten
:cheers:
or other liquid of choice
forgetting about the bears waiting
to pounce on slow prey
to get the liquid refreshment
and warm slimey internal organs
that makes them salivate uncontrollably
over every little bit of
freshly opened hiker , making bears
feverishly paranoid of other bears
taking their fresh hiker and
intending to keep for themselves
what should be shared with
goofy and gangly cubs stumbling
around learning how to do
shit in the woods like
they are supposed to do
when fully grow badass bears
fore-filling the prophecy 'Do bears......
especially wild bears in the
outdoors , shit in the woods
not in your neighbors flowers
that were trampled by elderly
demented bears that don't know
or forgot where to go
when the wintertime blizzards hit
them in the ass while
running off to hibernate with
a mid winter snack hiker
properly tenderized and seasoned by
previously perfected process's, perfectly performed
by expert hiker Connoisseurs , preparing
for a long winters nap
complete with butt plug made
from rare and expensive imported
dirt and leaves , making constipation
utterly unsettling until using utencils
to work out the problem
of removal without causing haemorrhoids
by careful lubricating tools used
in the nether-regions of hibernating
lower digestive system full of
tiny titillating tenderloins trimmed to
fit down the bungholes of
something very large and powerful
that's best not to upset
because we don't want to
become part of the foodchain
because we will be taxed
excessively by the big bad
gratuitous government gerrymandering geek gamers
using very strange word combinations
to confuse ,bewilder, baffle and
circumvent curious citizens asking embarrassing
questions that really have no
proper place in polite company
in in the back room
boudoir boundaries benefiting brunette babes
dr suess must be running
out of things to do
or hair to pull out :pullinghair:
leaving patches to regrow slowly
if able to at all
after scalp trauma caused by
venting excessive frustration by pulling
soiled rabbits out of bears
with a certain twisting motion
followed by a resounding "pop"
and a great sigh of
relief from the bear because
bears don't do hat tricks
with feces covered rabbits that
smell like last nights superb
dinner of unsuspecting weekend hikers
recognizing the danger too late
whilst taking selfies with their
super long and very flexible
unit dragging in the dirt
with sand, sticks, and twigs
getting in the end , causing
painful blockages and unique infections
difficult to treat and cure
making for very nervous vets
being extra, extra careful with
long pointy probes stuck in
at every conceivable angle and
looking like a fat porcupine
exhibiting a fully defensive posture
with its ass in the
in the angry bear's face
farting corrosive scent of pain
enough to turn a dog
away after sniffing carefully for
the good bits it likes
picked out of the bits
it doesn't like , leaving them
for other scavengers to fight
over in the middle of
the corpse where they all
peck pulsating putrid pancreatic puss
from the oozing end of
an orifice made to rapidly
discharge unwanted stuff best removed
by a warm water hosing
your patio furniture to clean
the bugs and gunk off
before the eggs hatch and
the chickens all get out
and go across the road
to get layed by the
rooster belonging to old MacDonald
before heading to colonel sanders
for a hot oil bath
and a light dusting of
salt and other secret ingredients
for the perfect chicken complexion
provided by rapid immersion in
the aforementioned hot oil bath
after a good roll in
various secret herbs and spices
to make the colonels special
Kentucky Fried Chicken for you
to exclaim "finger lickin good"
and pass the biscuits, please
(Ode to Billy Joe by Bobbie Gentry)
https://youtu.be/CZt5Q-u4crc
don't poke me in the
eye with a sharp stick
when what I really want
is honey for my chicken
so it can marinate with
wombles watching while wolves whine
and howl for their supper
consisting of curried calf ears
pickled pigs trotters and a
dash of bourbon-based sauce
for ease of swallowing said
pig parts, washed down with
properly chilled adult beverages served
elegantly in traditional large mugs
big enough to drown in
or quench your thirst with
a garden hose as a
way to serve the keg
directly to the thirsty waiting
mobs of meandering milquetoast millennials
higher, higher, hyping historically high
deafening diatribes describing dead deer
with white wash while waiting
and contemplating Dr Seuss style
snowflake sonatas, sending scurrilous sympathies
surely soaring skyward super swiftly,
with wayward waifs wailing wilfully
while wistfully wanting wideblock's wrist
brace, because black braces beckon
fickle females finding funny fans
with wriggly wrists waving worthlessly
counterfeit certified Chevy coupons, compounding
bows break because bad boys
better bodacious blushing butt beating
foundering Furies frequently found fully
finished, fishing frisky fish from
doing dastardly, dirty, despicable deeds
heading home helping homer hammer
happily hitting high horrendously hard
licorice-laden liquor libations lacking
stupendously scrumptious swizzled southern scotch
which we will wantonly wager
adequately assisting actually appraising appropriately
confiscated confections causing curious critters
to hide under your hood
scoop, until you fire up
the blown and injected HEMI
scares them off very quickly
as pieces fly in all
dusty clouds of exhaust fumes
covering the sight of bits
with a fine carbon layer
covering the soot from the
smoking tires and burning asphalt
caused by the huge fire
breathing blown and injected HEMI
super stock racer doing burnouts
for the local ladies auxiliary
wayward waifs fundraising charity committee
accidentally adjourned after allocating all
the waifs to waiting deviates
much to the chagrin of
the waiting waifs who really
want wideblock's wild western wear
pattern tattooed on their waiting
patches of untouched skin that
needed touching tenderly by a
aging and amorous Australian artist
a very rare thing to
behold as Australian artists seldom
venture into the real world
where life is boringly predictable
as they "don't do " predictable
because of too much time
spent munching magic mushies making
psychedelic bank robbers confuse the
whole point of robbing the
local banks with slippery floors
still wet from the spilt
milk bottles thrown by infants
and the clean up crew
swabbing the floor with rank
smelling mops that were as
stiff as British upper lips
stiffened by a surprising reason
known only to ancient aliens
flying spaceships all over the
British Isles and into subterranean
areas, hiding from all of
the television news camera crews
that were looking for news
in all the wrong places
because they might break their
funny bone on the edge
of insanity, until someone covers
their delicate protuberances from view
of bald eagles and horseflies
that are hungrily searching for
the long lost artifacts that
were taken by miniature poodles
and dropped carelessly in a
freshly pressed crop circle made
to resemble the fabulous shape
of second generation Dodge Chargers
that everyone seems to love
, but can no longer afford
the fancy Hemi air cleaner
and the New Old Stock
left front fender, because of
the need for spare parts
to maintain and repair the
fleet of Mopars saved from
the slow death of rust
and diabolical children that throw
acorns into the exhaust pipes
to attract squirrels that will
stare in amazement and wonder
until they are run over
and then gathered up for
barbequed Halloween treats dripping with
fake blood and bulging eyeballs
.......enough to frighten one and all
who dared to walk inside
Hugh Hefner's dirty little grotto
in the middle of summer
are just asking for trouble
without a steady supply of
buxom beauties and cold drinks
to entertain the funders of
this years ski championships at
some remote resort in Switzerland
where only the bravest will
attempt the avalanche prone slopes
with hands tied and blindfolded
by well tanned buxom beauties
that are turning blue from
breathlessly awaiting Polywideblock's next FBBO
so that they may learn
if he needs any help
with his sponge bath water
before it cools and becomes
too cool for the bodacious
aromatherapy that it omits at
odd hours during the holidays
while listening to Christmas carols
on the vacuum tube Philco
which never really works properly
until it's been plugged in
to the Earth's crust and
and the loop antenna has
been bent the other way
so that it points skyward
to receive other worldly signals
and worthwhile donations for the
stable of Lippizan foals that
are always brown at birth
much to the dismay of
the town crier who is
reputedly a one-legged sailor
set ashore by Blackbeard himself
because he couldn't swab the
deck without losing his balance
thus falling overboard every other
day until he was lost
for words as to why
there was no life boat
that he could clamber into
and avoid deep sea denizens
from nibbling on his toes
without first asking the waitress
whether she is free tonight
To play pinnacle with the
monkeys that lost their paddles
in the deep, cold, snow
so will now have to
ask the Marks brothers for
help even though that means
memories. :icon_smile_big:
rescuing Skip from the thingy
:cheers:
that came out of nowhere
OMG! it's as though I've never been away :cheers:
I forgot about the "Thingy"
but, after a long hibernation
In a world where things seem to change way too much and way too fast, some things need to stay the same.
decided it was to soon
:2thumbs:
to paint the house and
go cruising in the charger :drive:
which by the way we've just come back from.........lovely day so took advantage
with the windows down and
then they all jumped out
to check on the first
gorgeous red head wearing gold
to the Billy Joel concert
in the dead of winter
during the ice age there
should be time for snowball
fights and sleigh rides while
while grandma bakes peanut butter
cookies to give to the
hungry hobos that have nothing
, nothing but empty dreams that
keep them from losing their
sheep in the cotton fields
protected from wolves by llamas
in sheep's clothing pretending to
be minding their own business
but are conducting mind control
on us via the television
reality shows that really waste
every last morsel of grandma's
frost bitten fingers and toes.
Now the delightful confections must
make their way onto the
plates of eager neighborhood children
just in time for Halloween
so that all that desire
broom sticks to fly with
can obtain the proper permit
to receive immediate psychiatric assessment
performed by off-shore students
, descendants of the HMS Bounty
upon it's arrival at Botany-Bay
just as it's getting dark
and the natives are restless
from all the intoxicating smells
coming from the scented candles
that accent the stair well
in the great hall at
symposiums reserved for high impact
landings from alien space carft
flying without the benefit of
a skilled pilot or navigator
to check to see if
the freshly sculpted crop circles
come in various shades of
pinks and blue soda pop
and can be worn by
pregnant poodles and pernicious politicians
even while playing in puddles
filled with German Shepherd tears
leaving them very dehydrated and
thirsty for Tibetan tequila shots
that come coated in chocolate
dripping from hot buxom beauties
undulating and enticing a reaction
from all the guys paying
with only singles and fives
hoping to score a good
Welcome to the group :cheers:
meaningful short-term discussion about
the queens new riding boots
fitting properly so to be
sure to be sure and
inspecting them for perfect fit
checking the finish as well
as the suppleness of the
material is so very important
if you plan to walk
long distances over rocky ground
heading to your favorite hiding
spot that makes you feel
secure with crayons and cocoa.....
[modern college life?]
with a little added brandy
to help the children sleep
while their parents party harty
before authorities respond to complaints
that the party isn't loud
as the high winding HEMI
roars down the street with
bikini-clad nymphs hanging out
at the five and dime
looking for change for a
collectible five dollar silver certificate
forgery that fooled the best
numismatic experts at the Treasury
working overtime to try to
lift fingerprints left by nefarious
little elves who broke into
giggles while they were vandalizing
each others costumes for Christmas
parties on the rickety balcony
precariously held up by the
traffic jam on route 66
and the bypass is closed
so we will have to
make our own bypass using
a little imagination and lots
of fingernail polish and lipstick
purchased from the Dollar Store
in very large quantities for
late arriving debutantes that forgot
how good they looked before
their neurotic mother's took charge
of the food pantry, causing
an incredible amount of damage
the night before the big
top went up in flames
sending everyone scattering
to the shopping malls, in
search of two missing words :brickwall:
that are now lost forever
in deep voids of space
in between your ears because
I washed behind my ears
three months ago and found
the water ran straight through
the crack in the floor
and flooded the downstairs neighbor
that loudly plays Carpenters music
too early in the morning
for a gin and tonic
café latte with a dash
of greasy grimy gopher guts
dragged in by the cat
in the hat wearing a
itty bitty yellow polka dot
raincoat with matching booties that
glow in the dark operating
from stored solar power energy
definitely desirably demonstrating doubling D-battery
efficiently establishing energetic estuary effluents
possibly pre polluting pure potable
water while watching wild women
anticipating an anonymous attack artificially
inseminating innocuous immigrants in Idaho
with green slimy things that
perverse political pundits prefer polished
performances; perky, petite, and pretty
ordinary on a Monday night
in hopes Tuesday will be
the dawn of a new
life, in which all is
as silky and smooth as
the skin of an anaconda
pair of boots from Adams
fresh out of the box
but in the wrong size
and on the wrong foot
giving her a peculiar gait
in the mall, where he
can easily chase her down
store isles between the displays
and steal a kiss between ;D
playing Doctor with naked mannequins
and janitorial personnel cleaning up
until such time that they
begin sticking voodoo dolls with
dishwashing duties and other chores
better left with college students
so that they may learn
the pleasure of honest toil
for landlords and tax assessors
so that all may benefit
the pockets and coffers of
mine are empty with little
cobwebs and crickets in the
chirping away merrily while looking
past the lint balls and
wondering what to write next
week for the morning editorial
after the snow and ice
reports came in, which caused
unease from easily panicked people
on holiday from the Bahamas
looking for the elusive white
mermaid, in all of her
under garments and no makeup
because she ran out of
time before Charlie Tuna came
with Neptune close behind to
fetch a pail of water
to keep her scales wet
and wash her hair for
the upcoming challenge of underwater
beer pong and strip poker
competition for the world champion
trophy made from the shells
of pulverized Chevy bowtie emblems
not to be confused with
crushed and compacted Yugo shells
that explode when least expected
suddenly sending sharp shrapnel straight
up unsuspecting orifices left uncovered
and vulnerable, entering rapidly in
a painful split second that
literally makes your eyes water
and makes your ear drums
uncomfortably painful causing a big
explosion just when you thought
things couldn't get any worse
a cloud with a silver
lining to show just how
great things could be if
new muscle cars were inexpensive
and plentiful for all that
want to get the car
on their bucket list, in
brilliant shade of lime green
that would make Kermit envious :yesnod:
and Miss Piggy wet and
quivering with unbridled flirtatious motions
making hulahooping loads of fun
for anyone watching her online
exercise routine for Smithfield hams
to make them so very
firm and tight, so that
everyone wants to check for
buy one get one free
then return the bought one
for a 100% full refund
using Chuck E. Cheese game tokens
to confuse any who didn't
know that the token's worth
was greater than or equal
to wooden nickels and empty
pockets with holes and donuts
baked in fish oil extract
to make the grizzlies happy
, healthy, wise, and ready for
some retail therapy at Walmart
where life is happy all
the time in sporting goods
next to automotive and electronics
so if it starts raining
and the roof leaks over
the toilet, I can fix
Just got done doing this. A guy had a hole in his roof over his toilet the size of a watermelon. Fixed the roof, and remodeled the bathroom.
in a flash
light dawn, until all is
quiet and it's time for
a sip of hot coffee and
think of what to do
the extra wide hole in
leading to the man cave
for extra use of the
spare bunkbed when banned from
eating chips and drinking KoolAid
which is a good think
if you need fattening up
it in the losing magazine
left in the toilet cubicle
for extra use without special
toilet paper wrapped tightly and jammed into
(2 extra words to make up for my 3 word response earlier :P)
an uncomfortable place with force
making it difficult for Santa
to get down the chimney
and have some fun with
rearranging furniture and pictures that
nobody in their right mind
would have taken if free
except to use as firewood
by homeless souls at highway
rest stops down by the
shores of gitche gumee where
Ojibwe Indian maidens draw Mopar
pictures in the sand with
the mummified remains of squirrel
whiskers before heading off to
fry filthy fish found Friday
dropped by osprey soaring above
the Egyptian pyramids, causing quite
a stir among the pigeons
sitting upside down in chocolate
dipping sauce for extra flavour
needed to mask the acidic
residue from all of the
apple cider vinegar used to
wax the windows on the
dark side of the moon
playing on the huge speakers
for fans of Pink Floyd
who strip naked at the
seaside for all to see
dancing around a bonfire, until
they dropped like flies at
the mercy of the great
white pointer heading their way
offering baskets of flowers and candy
while cunningly seeking to devour
the very last piece of
sun dried tomato stuffed with
bits of pickled psychotropic mushrooms
used for experimenting with the
cockroaches running wild under the
bewildered eyes of preschoolers, teachers,
and exterminators leaving them scratching
the back of a monkey
who lost his paddle and
went crying to mommy dearest
who wasn't impressed and said
"I have to wash my
knickerbockers for the yodelling competition"
So, the monkey went crying
without a hanky on hand
to his bestest best friend
to wipe away his tears
of joy, when all of
a sudden his paddle showed
up on a galloping pony
that wouldn't stop even though
the light was red, running
wildly across the country side
at night through the mud
and out the other side
somebody please fill in that mud hole.........everything keeps running through it!
and the Timex keeps ticking
as the energizer bunny keeps
advertising cheap batteries that stink
beyond what's acceptable etiquette at
the recently renovated Waldorf Astoria
thus receiving a lifetime ban
and the disdainful looks from
Puss in boots who sat
in judgement while sipping scotch
eggs on toasted rye with
a big helping of the
not so healthy mayonnaise which
went rancid overnight during the
civil war when no-one had
time to make submarine sandwiches
Hey, if you ever visit the east coast, go see Thomas Jefferson's home in Charlottesville, Virginia. They used to store ice in the basement of Monticello.
for all the volunteers who
are starving after trekking across
the overgrown backyard of the
Quote from: DeltaV on March 02, 2018, 05:35:27 AM
time to make submarine sandwiches
Hey, if you ever visit the east coast, go see Thomas Jefferson's home in Charlottesville, Virginia. They used to store ice in the basement of Monticello.
Thanks for that. Have been pretty much all over America several times but never to the East coast.
seven dwarfs who haven't had
time to get Snow White
to do any yard work
so that they could celebrate
the 4th of July in
the middle of winter, while
hanging out their washing and
dancing to the music playing
in the elevator going up
to the newly renovated penthouse
with the panoramic view of
a desolate town in Ukraine
where Vladimir interrogates left handed
while using the right hand
shakes the hands of Syrian
belly dancers heading out to
use their attractiveness to distract
tourists, while all of their
shoes are being stolen for
barefoot alien invaders, lost, confused,
and needing a bath in
an whiskey barrel so as
to be noticeable as possible
danger lurks around every corner
drug store counter, where Ian
lost his virginity shortly after
asking Susan to marry him
leaving him on a high
and dry situation with a
soiled condom but no spare
for to repeat the performance
of a lifetime, so sadly
an encore is not possible
till this time next year
when the seats will be
newly upholstered in baby soft
alpaca fur bordered with lacy
doilies hand crocheted by grandma
and crocheted in by Aunt
Jenny and Uncle Jack who
had to sell the old
Mopar to pay for the
old worn out station wagon
that reeks of cow pies
thrown at great speed by
a specially designed and powered
trebuchet capable of hurling large
grapefruit some distance without difficulty
with utmost accuracy and precision
using a great deal of
carbon fiber and Kevlar composite
and a bit of brains
to make it work just
enough to get away with
making it look like aliens
have finally conquered the Earth
in the latest science fiction
video game for pre schoolers
written by H G Wells
while traveling through time
towards an uncertain future with
Captain Nemo and his closest
nemesis breathing down his collar
trying to entice a reaction
from the uninterested crowd regarding
the answer to yesterday's crossword
:icon_smile_big: :icon_smile_big: :icon_smile_big:
puzzle which is a counundrum
like puzzle that's difficult to
get your head around unless
one is really good at
circumnavigating the seven seas after
calibrating the GPS unit so
that it never fails to
get you confused and lost
deep in the jungles of
Antarctica where no one goes
without a hip flask filled
with the genie, since her
benevolent personality will help to
rectify past wrongdoings by neighboring
strangers wearing unusual colored ponchos
hand woven by Rumpelstilskin himself
to mollify the angry luddites
waiting to ambush anyone that
dared to challenge for the
over 70's skinny dipping competition
annually at the trailer park
ice cream social sponsored by
Mr. Whippy and Krispy Kreme.
attended by all the best
French patisserie chefs in town
for an extravaganza bar none
to honour the new born
of the Just Born marshmallow
formed into a life sized
snowman to scare
Quote from: Fred on March 24, 2018, 09:12:24 PM
snowman to scare
Fred into using five words :lol: laughing with you, not at you my friend :lol:
instead of just three and
Ha ha!! and I struggled like hell to keep it at just 3 words. Getting my games mixed up.
we are short two words
plenty to chose from underneath [post 12715] :icon_smile_big:
the snow covered horse blanket
the ticks kept mighty toasty
until they couldn't stand it anymore and
(I've the two words owed to me :icon_smile_big:)
ran out into the snow
before the big thaw leaving
dinosaur sized foot prints in
the house.......what a mess!
when the wife threw a
cast iron exhaust manifold through
her priceless set of Taiwanese
fake pearls and glass encrusted
poodle statues covered in macrame
and suspended from the ceiling
chandelier, to keep the rambunctious
raccoons from getting their paws
on worthless crap to pawn
hoping some fool will buy
for the lure of easy
times lazing on the beach
watching the wildlife stroll aimlessly
into the sea without heeding
the lifeguard's warning about crocodiles
that are giving free rides
to the new docks by
the seashore where she sells
silly sea shells shaped surreptitiously
so as to keep thieves
from purloining precious artwork that
would fetch a hefty sum
:wave: got to go.
from drunken Slavs spewing flames
and setting their faces alight
much to the horror of
the phantom of the opera
who doesn't want any competition
to hinder his chances for
romantic interludes in the rafters
with vampire bats that want
less light and more bugs
serving the dessert course, or
after visiting the blood bank
they will have to start
dieting as the supply is
dwindling dangerously low because Liberace
Broke his beloved baby grand
piano that he busily played
all of the time he
Wasn't doing his English homework
much to the dismay of
mother, who cleans his candelabra
And does the hokey pokey
on the freshly waxed surface
Polished to a mirror finish
in absolute defiance of parrots
Who prefer not to see
themselves and other birds featherless
In an x rated magazine
lining the bird cage floor
But would rather have a
bright yellow hemi four speed
In its Chrysler 300 convertible
so as to show off
The homecoming queen's new dress
all muddied now after falling
headlong off the slippery trunk
of an African elephant while
Doing a strip tease dance
that nobody cared to see
Because the elephant stripped instead
leaving nothing to the imagination
Of the shocked 5yr old
trying to understand what is
going to happen tomorrow morning
At recess where the teacher
used cat of nine tails
to demonstrate the proper method
of wolloping your tender backside
as a reminder not to
let your friends drive Chevys
Unsupervised in a parking lot
where carjacking is extremely popular
at night after cold beers
thus desperately needing the backseat
To make out with willing
off duty policemen and women
checking to see what was
making the back seat creak
and destroying the broadcast sheet
Much to the dismay of
blue-haired old ladies that
wear big fat red hats
With floppy rabbit ears poking
straight out in all directions
Much to the entertainment of
the dreaded Hounds of Baskerville
leaving Sherlock Holmes completely fooled
As to who left the
dogs out overnight causing havoc
With the neighborhood trash cans
empty beer cans and pizza
crusts that nobody bothered to
Give to the dogs anyway
choosing instead to feed them
Prime steak mixed with gravy
covered mashed potatoes and butter
Which is better than we
realized when dining on frankfurters
out of a tin can
And reading the ingredients list
printed in Chinese for the
Everyone else who might stop
seeing the one legged butcher
With his new, hand carved
left foot dancing a jig
to the banjo tunes by
Uncle Jed Clampett, cousin Ellie,
boy on the front porch
While sipping lemonade and eating
pork rinds and guacamole dip
And dreaming of the day
when there will be time
to get married and have
Two little puppies playing in
the designated play area where
the teachers pet asked teacher
out on a secret date
With her new boyfriend, which
the new principal found amusing
until meeting with the parents
Teachers association, who highly questioned
the authenticity of the painting
By the school children and
and the three wise men
That sits in the auditorium
looking bored as all hell
Waiting for the right person
to move to the left
So that all could see
the long and winding road
being sung by the Beatles
In a hot open field
of rye grass being harvested
Before the upcoming county fair
that was rained out last
Year and had to be
promoted as a mud wrestling
venue.... but with no participants
that anyone wants to watch
they had to shutdown early
For the wet t shirt competition
was literally a flop and
the blue haired ladies smugly
went off to their knitting
class snickering all the way
From the fact that they
were retired professional mud wrestlers
And outlawed from doing any
boot scooting without the proper
union representation in the event
That a new monarch comes
and upsets the balance of
The bank account, in which
elderly grandparents deposit wrinkle bills
sorted from tips earned at
The local bingo hall located
right here in Melbourne town
Until the charter bus showed
up with Internal Revenue Agents
dressed in Armani suits carrying
an unpleasant attitude meant to
Bring happiness and cheer to
thirsty frogs and toads hiding
among tall reeds next to
The koi pond where koi
happily breed all night long
To the lovely sounds of
bubbling water and whining mosquitoes
Who wish they were having
a better time of it
When all of a sudden,
along came a spider and
sat down beside her on
the rich Corinthian leather seats
while slopping curds and whey
And was polite enough to
Somehow turned on notices for this thread, and filled my email. :slap:
clean up her own mess
instead of sweeping it under
The statue of liberty book
that costs a pretty penny
when a penny was worth
a pretty penny. Today however.....
dimes are thinner than ever
And easily hidden from view
but still just as round
A bouts are at intersections
Hate round a bouts. What's wrong with stop signs and traffic lights?
with train tracks to nowhere
so return tickets are useless
Except for stuffing the walls
where the rats have been
Practicing cooking a proper meal
with very little success thus
habitating in the back seat
Of an old Cadillac El Dorado
convertible stashed away behind mannequins
At the department store display
.....ing memorabilia from a forgotten past
Episode of Mork and Mindy
that is being shown downtown
at the Trekkie convention confusing
The newly arrived, and exhausted,
men from Mars as they
check out the women from
Venus just arrived this morning
dressed up to attract the
Cicadas lying dormant under ground
Waiting for the right time
meet those women from Venus
Who will wash cars for
for room and board until
something better comes along for
Less work and more pay
would be the ideal lifestyle
That like so many others
before us would have wanted
if it were not for
the fact that Christmas only
Is remembered for getting, instead
of giving to the needy
that are truly destitute and
Grateful for all they are
able to get away with
Hey, did you see that?
Standing in line for Santa
to see his female helpers
bendover and touch their toes
backwards while they balance cookies
On candy canes while reindeer
drank schnapps from hip flasks
odorned with gold inlays of
Snowflakes falling upon the rooftops
already covered with coal soot
leaving the chimney sweep somewhat
Excited that he can work again
without getting his lungs clogged
And take a deep breath
before you dive to the
bottom to gather abalone for
Making guitar picks and inlays
used by wealthy rock stars
That woo the hearts of
sixeen year old white girls
whose fathers don't like at
knowing how things will turnout
after the ice cream social
When they all go to
church to confess to the
Court jester that they were
trying hard to juggle without
Bouncing off the trampoline smiling
I'd like to see someone juggle while bouncing on a trampoline :D
at one another with pride
me too! :yesnod:
That they successfully had purchased
at the local op shop
after searching a lifetime to
Help their dear old grandma,
that rode an antique unicycle
get off it without falling
Off of the high line
after someone greased it up
so much that it became
Highly reflective of the lights
over the Alaskan sky line
Where the northern borialis danced
to the tunes of cosmic
Records that played in perfect
rhythm of asynchronous vibrating superstrings
In tune with the beat
of cosmic drummers playing timeless
Head banging classics that destroyed
any chances of joining def leppard
down by the river walk
To pray for forgiveness for
transgressions committed during vigorous exhilarating
Aerobics classes in which all
chocolate doughnuts were instantly consumed
And any benefits of the
lifelong dieting process were thrown
from the balcony with fury
At the unsuspecting pizza delivery
guy causing him to collapse
At the site of the
Pearly gates that are locked
until further notice because Ezekiel
Had to find the keys
from under the couch cushions
That were being held down
by newborn pitbull puppies crying
out with longing for their
Favorite chew toy, which happens
to be shredded after many
Games of tug of war
with the neighbor's Great Dane
Until there was nothing left
but tiny shreds of rubbery
mush looking like a blob
of chewed up ear parts
Put in a blender and
then dumped out on to
a freshly prepared pizza crust
loaded with sauce and cheese
But with no anchovies or
blue cheese because they both
Would bring delight to a
raccoon that enjoys stinky food
out of the garbage can
leaving a trail for anyone
With a broom and dustpan
so they can collect all
the popcorn at the cinema
That was thrown into the
cracks of the plumbers working
On the sprinkler system that
is gushing like "Old Faithful"
In the middle of winter
Shooting hot steamy water straight
On to the stage, catching
all the performers off guard
since they had no umbrellas
or scuba diving equipment for
These types of emergencies that
can leave one rather damp
like singing in the rain
While watching for developing rainbows
That have a pot of
Beans cooking in the fire
ready to explode and cause
Sales of hot dogs to plummet
for no reason at all
Because no one could eat
that many beans and weenies
while power shifting the old
Column shifted 3 spd on
the tree with the custom
chrome plated Mallory tachometer that
Worked intermittenly because of a
repair by Rosco Purvis Coltrane
Had started to short out
thereby causing sparks and smoke
To fill the car, causing
the windows to fog over
And freeze, obscuring the site
of the semi truck that
A little, pink, panda bear
was tied to the grill
And jack knifing because the
roads were rain soaked from
The last monsoon season malay
that was caused by jumanji
Players who failed to roll
a number that could allow
the sun to burn everything
In the cast iron skillet
for an easy Sunday brunch
under a tree at the
Old abandoned city park bench
covered with lichens and spit
From an escaped pet llama
wearing leopard skin pajamas with
a little red bow tie
making Bill Nye very jealous
That no one else figured
out that it was all
A really bad nightmare that
just kept going on forever
Until a new thought entered
the vacant thing that's he's
Selling to a really hot
babe with a vacant stoned
expression on her wrinkled face
letting everyone no how old
She looks after doing drugs
for years and years , still
Trying to kick the habit
but not doing a really
Good job at making bread
because the yeast would not
Put off enough co2 gas
to make a pop not
A big kapow!!!! that often
occurs when someone really sux
At blowing out the fuse
on the large amount of
lemon head candies soaked in
creamy, rich, milk chocolate pudding
and then sprinkled with little
bits of shit to make
it more appealing to crocodiles
Who get tired of eating
the shit every day ,all
of a sudden a monkey
Stole the keys from the
mayor's new double-breasted suit
By sliding them out of
bulging and ripped pockets that
had been toughly searched previously
by the door man who
Lost a coat button during
the random search but nothing
Was found in his pants pocket
apart from a tiny little
Note written by his beloved
pet mouse that decided to
leave him for a elephant
Whose ears are larger than
swinging saloon doors on a
stretched Chrysler Imperial limousine that
Built during a time that
anything less that a doorway
leads to a spiral staircase
going to the roof seats
really near the one who
wears Santa clothes while singing
as loud as a didgeridoo
while the rest of the
Congregation sang Christmas carols for
a soothing touch to the
program that the children were
Actually paying attention to what
was being sung because they
had never heard it before
because it was just written
last week by a great
big elephant with red feet
and a small hairy monkey
that neither could spell correctly
so anything was possible when
The parrot began to sing
repeatedly , the same song over
And over, and over and
over until everyone had heard
a hundred time and knew
It was time to teach
the next generation who in
Turn, wouldn't have been interested
in it, if it wasn't
For the ability to see
way into the future where
they were the only ones
that were able to talk
in long lost intelligible tongues
that makes today language simple
To the time traveler who
knew at lest 5 different
Chief Executive Officers from Chrysler
all dead by many years
Because they founded the company
why back in time when
only model T's were cruising
alongside dodge brothers a much
needed respite before Spanish flu
got all the tacos infected
with small white wiggle worms
That came oozing from wounds
of hapless Chevy Camaro owners
and that other shitty ford
Pinto that catastrophically exploded when
the owner tried to put
nitroglycerin and nitrous oxide together
in a bottle to feed
A tired old four cylinder
because half the cylinders were
were totally ventilated by grandmother's
servicing ,she took one of
Her old tea pots, beat it
into a shape that could
called a cup and then
They were chrome plated for
smooth drinking of hot liquid
except for that one little
Shot glass, it got used
for priming the diesel engine
so that they could build
a generator so they could
Power the blender to make
margaritas while sitting by the
pool with a umbrella in
his left hand so he
didn't need no suns scream
since he was very pale
And it was raining hard
though the umbrella with a
Window screen for a covering
which did nothing to protect
his three piece suit from
all the rain that was
falling from the banana trees
in the back ground ,resulting
in yellow splotches and bugs
all over the unprotected bits
Which was now seen by
the eye in the sky
home in on the watched
Neighbors as they prepare for
their suicide attack on the
overgrown Civil War cemetery next
Week to get it ready for
reaction against the effects of
Being stuck indoors for 9
crazy women that wanted them
to scrub their feet for
excitement and to video tape
it for later on fun
In a running marathon 14
years in the making ,leaving
no studio time for GYC
To show Mark's new dance
to every one that will
Be utterly disappointed at the
smoothness and originality of his
New magic hat that was
pulled out of a rabbit's
pocket in the vest of
The genie, who just got
evicted from his brass lamp
Due to not posting up
on other sites of wealth
and fortune visited by bankrupt
solicitors who do this for
A profession, only because they
get payed so well that
they search for barn finds
to take their interest in
Old war time classics once
read, but not easily forgotten
When the movie version is
only around the corner to
be released later this year
That blows away the previous
versions produced by lesser known
wana be actors because of
established stars demanding more money
During a massive Hollywood star
studded extravaganza attended by old
Black and white movie actors
with nothing better to do
Than throw popcorn at the
the screen making a huge
Party out of a boring
movie by playing music loud
enough to drown out Chevy
Attempts at doing a burnout :D
on gravel covered wet streets
Bordered by 100 year old
buildings that might not enjoy
A much needed Window wash
because cracked panes of glass
are falling onto the sidewalk
Chaulk stand two stories down
leaving a huge mess for
a lonely old bitter widow
to clean up after everyone
Passed out in the jacuzzi
naked and afraid of bugs
Zappers that work during the
the off periods to check
Mate the white king with
when the time is right
For the opportunity to take
Raquel Welch out for brunch
at the nearest strip club
for a really good time
that no one could argue
Until the ticket arrived at
taking them to the usa
on a slow boat from
The little island of Madagascar
where sharp knives are built
to take down the bad
environmentalists snuffing our cool cars
With toilet paper regulations and
absurd ways of thinking irrationally
even when stone cold sober
And still too sick to
realize what's really most important
When there's no bread for
folks in the spaghetti line
So they suffer instead with
napkins soaked in garlic sauce
Which brings a tear to
the eyes of anyone who
Ran out of brown sugar
and had to use white
wall tires instead of black
To run to town to
appeal his court ordered sentence
of not drive for a
period of six long years
Until a Yugo could be
taken in his back pocket
to enjoy the traveling circus
with a elephant doing stupid
Flying somersauts that fail to
amuse the crowd that gathered
to see the elephant do
Backflips while riding a bike
with sticky goo coming from
in between their painted toenails
lies the buried treasure map
For an old wooden box
filled with Led Zeppelin cassettes
That faded with father time
determines exactly when you die
of a broken heart because
Someone else ate your birthday
:icon_smile_big: :cheers:
Cake that you've waited for
Ever to enjoy, leaving you
Hope you enjoyed your Black Forest cake :cheers:
sad, hungry and very irritated
Quote from: JB400 on April 17, 2019, 09:38:53 AM
Ever to enjoy, leaving you
Hope you enjoyed your Black Forest cake :cheers:
As always. :2thumbs:
Quote from: Birdflu on April 17, 2019, 10:04:19 AM
sad, hungry and very irritated
because the piece was less
Than what they were expecting
for the home coming queen
When she exits the coach
calls all the necessary plays
For the Underdog team to
end its steady losing streak
and just quit so that
They can learn from actual
astronauts how to tie knots
In a trash bag that
wasn't designed as a parachute
But they jumped out anyway
not realizing their fatal demise
Was coming in the form
a huge mattress landing pad
With monkeys bouncing on it
somehow the sheets weren't wrinkled
But the fluffy, white pillows
were completely destroyed beyond belief
With downy feathers fluttering onto
what appeared to be a
Ancient, antique, old new world
products aluminum Hemi block which
All ready to accept the
a quad rotor Whipple treatment
With a couple hundred shot of
North Dallas cougars wearing nothing
but jewelry and a g-string
To the Cowboys football game
against the challenging Minnesota Vikings
Who had to beat the
leader of the conference who
was caught wearing his girlfriend's
Favorite neck tie that she
had wrapped around the dancers
Locker room door knob, to
signal any wrong doers of
Impending doom and gloom to
anyone who enters without permission
To chew bubble gum and whistle
while getting their hair cut
By a brand new beautician
or show us a picture
Quote from: JB400 on June 08, 2019, 11:39:38 AM
By a brand new beautician
fresh out of beauty school
to actually own a Charger
looks like he's ignoring us
I think you maybe right
He's a 2nd Gen faker
A Wannabe with no intention
Liking chargers is what matters
To enthusiasts and collectors alike
watching auctions in sweltering heat
With no sign of relief
until the beer winch drops
Her tip money on the
table and chair and hat
That was positioned close to
the blocked emergency door exit
that led to a staircase
Used for storing paper napkins
and once-used plastic straws
Until the fire marshall made
funny jokes about their hair
braids laced with mouse droppings
And high fructose corn syrup
topped with caramelized Vidalia onions
With a side of fresh
collard greens and pork chunks
Served on a bed of
soft flannel sheets and a
Extra fluffy round satin pillows
covered with cat and dog
Toys as the culprits slept
next to the rising Mississippi
Mud pie that they made
for the contestants of the
Sadie Hawkins Day dance contest
that was cancelled after the
Weather man got the forecast
for basketball sized green hailstones
Mixed up with sunshine and
moonshine with a splash of
Freshly squeezed orange juice garnished
with a hint of red
Raspberry jam for the wafers
arranged on the china plate
which grandma glued back together
After it was knocked off the
dust covered Duncan Phyfe settee
And kicked under the rug
that was previously used as
A living grizzly bear wandering
While wondering which way was